Mercychen:
Why would you date someone to the stage of marriage without getting to know her family? This is how you people marry ghost.

To me, if I will advise you as a sister, I'll say drop the idea of marriage with her. Someone who has the mind to hide such info about herself from you and still lied even when confronted on two occasions can kill you, hide your body neatly and move on and no one will ever know. That lying alone speaks volumes of her.

The dating stage is the right time to divulge everything about yourself or at least your current status to your partner. if they stay, fine if not, life goes on but trying to conceal such a past about you just to trap someone in marriage is criminal and deceit of the highest order therefore should never be overlooked. Forget the love you think you have for her now cos all those feelings ( infactuation) will soon go away. Then the reality of what she has done will become more visible and begin to haunt you badly.

Forget that trash talk of not wanting to lose you. If she truly loves you, she'll tell you the truth and she won't still be into her ex like you later found out. The only reason shes stuck with you is because her ex is out of the country and she needs to fill that gap with a man figure. If the ex comes back, like you already know, she'll have a fling with him and not feel any remorse because shes a hardened liar! Tufiakwa!

All these small girls of nowadays have very hard and bad minds. I wonder what kind of females we are breeding this days.

No matter what, relationship and marriage should never be built on deception. It always has it's repercussions later in life.
Let everyone come clean about some
important past about themselves so every one can make an informed decision.
Imagine if you found this out after marriage, na for ICU you for dey by now dey battle with Oxygen cylinder.

Abeg drop the monster woman.

Mehn!!!
F
A
C
T
!

OSDD:
And to think you dey plan to Jp with her, that will be your greatest mistake..
Person Wey fit lie for 3 forking good years and still lying to you..

A liar can and will never change, he/she only gets smarter.

I dey tell you boss.. She go just kill the bros perfectly without leaving any trace

Amiralord:


Am not an attention seeker,let me tell you why I'm in a state of confusion.
I've been on relocating to USA for a while naw,I was told one of the surest way is to apply as someone with family,this led me into getting her all necessary documents,from Dob,to NIN,to change of name and to International passport all with my surname.

The money is not the problem,I will recover it, inshallah. Am almost done with the whole process just to apply and wait for interview date be4 my friend arrived and begin telling me same old story. Reason this brother

2, Sincerely speaking,her mother died 3 month after her birth,her dad died when she was just 10,since then,things has not been easy for her.
When I met her,I gave her hope, life and assurance that I will wipe her tears.staying with one elder brother today and tomorrow with another.No place to call a home of her own

My mind Is totally out of her,but the humanist part of me makes me cry, that who's going to wipe her tears,who's gonna Stand by her when am gone,who she's ganna talk to when she need some.

From what you are saying I guess you have actually made up your mind...
Just like the saying " You can drag a horse to the stream but cannot force it to drink"...

This is what you want to hear " Marry her, keep her and start a family", but you must be fooling yourself.
Well the ball is in your court.
Please don't come back here after 3yrs lamenting how your wife did this and that...


Try to use your head.. Be a man!!!

VicUkegbu:


From what you are saying I guess you have actually made up your mind...
Just like the saying " You can drag a horse to the stream but cannot force it to drink"...

This is what you want to hear " Marry her, keep her and start a family", but you must be fooling yourself.
Well the ball is in your court.
Please don't come back here after 3yrs lamenting how your wife did this and that...


Try to use your head.. Be a man!!!

Am done with the relationship bro

Amiralord:


Am done with the relationship bro

It must be hard on you but that's the wise decision to make...

So many people av make costly decision because of this shit called LOVE.. pls don't join the queue bro..nah beg I beg u

Thank you all for saving this brother...

If you still go ahead with her, please don't come back to show your foolery here.

A girl like that is a snake, you must drive her away at all cost... Avoid her for life. Bear the heart break, you will get over it.

If you mistakenly marry that one, you will either commit suicide or she will kill you or just rarely, you will be ruined for life only

Take the advise of everyone here telling you to run. Don't even see her again cos it's obvious she can manipulate you with sentiments, just avoid her all together. Good luck.

yungchop:


May Allah be with you for this.. It's obvious that she wants to use him and he has been blackmailed emotionally by the Lady.
That's why I said either he's just seeking for attention or what.. Because the red flags are written all over the place.

That Girl does not deserve him. He shouldn't settle for less.

Marriage is not Childs play at all, the emotions, mental and psychological well-being should not be taken for granted.

Aameen and you too. Aameen

You said it all

yungchop:


Thanks bro. Jazakumulahu khairan

You are welcome bro. Wa iyyaka bikhayr. Aameen

Amiralord:


To butress your point,I was shocked when I saw her chat with the paper vendor I sent her to collect news publication on change of name, cos am planning to get her international passport to JP together,I nearly cry this night.Am sad bro,so so sad.
And if you ask, she's ready to swear with anything to prove she never cheated on me since we started dating.

Never trust a lady that can swear in vain.. Remember Chidinma Ojukwu

Amiralord:


To butress your point,I was shocked when I saw her chat with the paper vendor I sent her to collect news publication on change of name, cos am planning to get her international passport to JP together,I nearly cry this night.Am sad bro,so so sad.
And if you ask, she's ready to swear with anything to prove she never cheated on me since we started dating.

Ladies can cry and swear with their lives and stilll be lying. By the way, was she dating the news vendor man ?

Amiralord:


My mind Is totally out of her,but the humanist part of me makes me cry, that who's going to wipe her tears,who's gonna Stand by her when am gone,who she's ganna talk to when she need some.

You are very funny bro, if you never come into her life in the first instance maybe she will have met a better person, don't think of what will become of her, leave her now or let her sins continue to hunt you for the rest of your life.

She is very desceptive and manipulative, all she want from you is marriage, after you guys are married, bro just go and write your will and start digging your grave.

MyVILLAGEpeople:


Lies can cry and swear with their lives and stilll be lying. By the way, was she dating the news vendor man ?

The conversation I saw was suspicious

Amiralord , you've been sleeping with someone else's wife and you are saying you don't know where to start from, start from asking God for forgiveness. Secondly, you want to marry someone but you don't know her house. when you finish begging God for forgiveness, beg God for sense. after that, Delete her number and move on . Get some nice bathing soaps, cloths, shoes and perfume, cleanup then start over again.

No pressure:
Elon must married at 42
Bill Gate married at 39
Larry Allison married ant 59
Olu Jacob Married at 45
Jay-z married at 39

And they are all very wealthy and happy. be careful

nokspos:
Amiralord , you've been sleeping with someone else's wife and you are saying you don't know where to start from, start from asking God for forgiveness. Secondly, you want to marry someone but you don't know her house. when you finish begging God for forgiveness, beg God for sense. after that, Delete her number and move on . Get some nice bathing soaps, cloths, shoes and perfume, cleanup then start over again.

No pressure:
Elon must married at 42
Bill Gate married at 39
Larry Allison married ant 59
Olu Jacob Married at 45
Jay-z married at 39

And they are all very wealthy and happy. be careful

You got me really badly
I detest married woman, single mothers,but here I am,I will pick up my little pieces sir

yungchop:


I dey tell you boss.. She go just kill the bros perfectly without leaving any trace

Bros, if she kill am, e go even dey okay.. No be today person dey die, las las we go type RIP for the post...

She will use him and dump him in a foreign land, considering the law that empowers women over there, she fit claim say he wan kill her(with teary eyes and they will believe her) or make his life a living hell...

But what do I know, I Never marry before

This story is completely haox...........fallacy written everywhere.......... everything written in the wall, you still contemplating whether to go on with the relationship. Your God in Islam would not forgive you....and if you eventually go on with the introduction,I see it crumbling within a year or 0.5.

Foolish question....

[quote author=Amiralord post=108163060]Pls kindly ignore my typos because I'm sad and I felt betrayed.
My story might be a bit lengthy,I will try to highlight the main point,and I need candid and mature advice please romancelanders.

I met this lady through Facebook around Aug 2017(though my junior in secondary school,but never knew her in school) and the relationship has been going on smoothly,she's the perfect example of the type of woman I always dream of, and on my part, I've been faithful to a fault to make things work out for us.

Problem started around March last year when my best friend who visited me,saw my babe,only to inform me that she has given birth to 2 kids, because they live within the same area before he travelled out.

I confronted my babe,but to my surprise,she denied it vehimently.Telling me she's ready to swear with anything just to prove that she has not given birth.I let it slide and we move on

This year again,my guy touched down to naija,visited me with his younger brother,only for his younger brother to recognize my babe,called me and informed me that my babe is married with two kids and the baby daddy is someone he can link me with to confirm the authenticity of the information.

I asked her again,she vehimently denied.Then I begin to suspect her moves.
Mind you,3 years of dating,I don't know where she stays,I don't know any of her family members,this introduction arrangements was even conceived on phone.On my part, my family all knew her, because I've been under serious pressure to settle down.

This night,I collected her phone,begin to look for anything suspicious,after much resistance from her side,she tore my cloth and normal manhandling,but when she realized am not backing down,she decided to open up.
She told me she has given birth to 2kids,she said she's scared to loose me and that her reason for not telling me is because she realized I hate single mothers base on our normal discussion and My stance on single mothers.

From the chat I saw on her phone,she's still well into her ex, though his not in naija,but am sure if the guy is home,they will surely bleep Wella.

Pls guys,I can't deny it,I love this lady,my mum loves her,3 years down the drain,I don't know where to start from.I didn't keep or have any lady as back up,she's my all.
Pls be sincere,advice me on how to handle this issue,I'm 28 and she's 26.Introduction Is next week Thursday, with all this red light.where do I go from here?

What advice do you want? Do you need anyone to tell you to call it quit with her? 3 years of deceit and you're still considering going on with her? A lady who can deny her kids, do you know what else she's hiding from you? Bro move on.

Amiralord:


Fajazakumu llahu khayran jaza.
May Allah swt continue to increase you in knowledge.
Sincerely I would have love to marry her,walohi,only if,after digging into her recent past with me,and I found her clean, couple with the wide suggestions and opinion given here,I can have a rethink.
But brother,the little digging I did just yesterday night alone,walohi, there's no atom of sincerity on her part.

I realized she do block Me on WhatsApp to update her status, brother what is she hiding.
D final digging continues today, inshallah,I'm sure she would have deleted almost every tangible evidence,but there's something to fish out,D moment I realized she cheated on me in this relationship, that's all.
And if she doesn't,I don't think I can still stand 3 years betrayal and deceit.

Marry her!


As a Muslim you will still marry like 3 more wives so what's the f.?

The earlier you let go of your emotions and focus on you mental health the better for you bro

Amiralord:
Say something guys
My heart is heavy

marriage is a lifetime thing, what ever mistake you do now stays with you forever, make the bold step, if I am in your situation, I would call it off.

If you go ahead with that introduction you are mad

This one na fable
You don't know the house of the girl you want to do introduction with.
No friend no relatives no investigation
Gbam next na introduction
Is it introduction or introduction ceremony

stacyadams:
. Three years u no know her family, , with all these things mosdii d talk , ...mosdii come and re advice him..

Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them

Amiralord:


Am not an attention seeker,let me tell you why I'm in a state of confusion.
I've been on relocating to USA for a while naw,I was told one of the surest way is to apply as someone with family,this led me into getting her all necessary documents,from Dob,to NIN,to change of name and to International passport all with my surname.

The money is not the problem,I will recover it, inshallah. Am almost done with the whole process just to apply and wait for interview date be4 my friend arrived and begin telling me same old story. Reason this brother

2, Sincerely speaking,her mother died 3 month after her birth,her dad died when she was just 10,since then,things has not been easy for her.
When I met her,I gave her hope, life and assurance that I will wipe her tears.staying with one elder brother today and tomorrow with another.No place to call a home of her own

My mind Is totally out of her,but the humanist part of me makes me cry, that who's going to wipe her tears,who's gonna Stand by her when am gone,who she's ganna talk to when she need some.

Alfa if you proceed on relocating with her to US I just hope she won’t deport you back to naija with all the red flags you have seen here in naija. Bro think twice before you do it cos no sharia court in America ooo.

I woke diz morning nd i ask masef is life really worth it or i should blast masef. OP plz leave dat gal. She has giving birth nd still denied it, athough it was because she doesnt want to lose u dats why she denied. But is it real love dat make her want to be with u or ur money or she just playing around. But d fact is she has already giving birth. Drop her

My brother leave her for your own good

xeratek:

Fake story from patlex

Wetin this Patlex guy do you wey you dey always mention am

OP, I like your story though I'm a christian but let me contribute my little piece, you see girls like her, God have seen her suffering right from the beginning and that is why he sent someone like you to her to meet her and be her source of hope, but she blew it up she didn't open up to you she lied for good three years without contemplating that is bad. You have to leave her you have fulfilled your part as God's sent but she failed in her part, so forget about her. Peace unto you

Amiralord

See Boy. Wife her.. make her happy.. it is a huge honor to marry a single mother..
You think it is easy..
Even your pastor would envy you.. Your imam would be glad too..

It shows you are a REAL man..
All matches in football start from 2 or 3 Zero down.. it is a huge privilege to be a step dad.. make sure you train the kids at Oxford Uni..

Congratulations AmiraLord

Dear Op,
I don't know the God you worship, but believe you me that your God is a living God, seriously fighting for you even when you are TOO blind to see it.
Thanks