The handwriting on the wall is very clear but you decided to lie to yourself.

Tomorrow you will cry he dump you,

Hotel ! Believe me you are dating yourself, and he has calculated you enough to know that you want marriage and he don't want to marry you.

Nat404:
Exactly. I totally agree with you. If a man doesn't take you to his house, it means something is fishy.

I just want to know what he has in mind. I stated it in my post that a year is fine. Even two years, if needs be. But I only prefer within a year... So does he even have it in mind yet.

ngoziwrites:



Thank you! These are exactly things I want to talk about. His and my plan. Our goals. Our interests. Our values etc.

But we just don't.....

Yes...you don't cos that's how he want it...and u are playing to his script.
We guyman can be with a woman for months catching fun and talking pretty rubbish gisting and laughing from morning till night and u won't get bored, and same time u won't know much abt us....Smart guys do this alot to confuse women

ngoziwrites:


Well, sadly... That's not how I see it. It's just society is funny. I mentioned that I paid part of the hotel bills. I also mentioned my plans to surprise him with gifts and I didn't only mention that he is earning. I talked about myself too but unfortunately no one saw that.

The guys here just picked the part that suit them.

okay ,aside the financial stuff u listed ,but truth be told sweet follow actions than words , people suggesting you ask me ,I wouldn't suggest such , because he will definitely tell u want you want to hear ,he aren't ready ,how old is he?

No need to rush into marriage.
Dude is taking his time
I think you should do same too as to know him more better. . .
6 months is just 6months and not 6 years okay, so relax.

It is okay to ask questions but don't rush him else he might pull away.

My dear you are on the right track. It’s good for a relationship to be defined so as to know what you guys are really doing and also to make sure you ain’t wasting your time. So I’d advice you sit and discuss with him to avoid wasting your time and energy. Communication is key. Go for it girl

ngoziwrites:
He doesn't talk about these things. I would love to know his plans, goals etc but we don't talk about it.

Sometimes I say do u know we haven't had some deep discussion. He says these things aren't planned

How can you be dating someone you cannot talk to?

You can be subtle about it give him time,but as someone mentioned there are red flags already and you are overlooking it I don't think your priorities align at all .
He is 31 and okay if he wanted marriage he would have gotten it long ago or better still made that intention known to you from the get go.

Don't get pregnant for him or slow yourself down since you are ready and your priorities are well thought out you can get married if you want,this one isn't ready don't waste time ask him now you should both discuss openly on your expectations of it doesn't align let him go and see if someone who is willing to take that step comes along

A guy will always want you to know his house as early as possible when he's very much into you.
.
He will want people to see you, and to know you are the main deal. If getting to know his house is getting complicated with excuses..lol....Better give ursef brain.........
.
.

ngoziwrites:


Well, sadly... That's not how I see it. It's just society is funny. I mentioned that I paid part of the hotel bills. I also mentioned my plans to surprise him with gifts and I didn't only mention that he is earning. I talked about myself too but unfortunately no one saw that.

The guys here just picked the part that suit them.

I think you're rushing the process. You don't want to be with a guy who will tell you what you want to hear so slow down a little bit. Things will come to light and you don't need him to say he is ready for marriage but instead you want him to show you.

Have fun and take an interest in him as a person. You said you pretend you don't hear the things he says when you're not comfortable with his responses and that is unhealthy because you are avoiding opportunities to get to know him and understand him.

If you want to settle down then there's nothing wrong with that so don't let anyone shame you. We live in a crazy world where men can say they want to hang your leg from the ceiling and nobody shames them but if a woman says she wants a commitment then she is desperate and she gets shamed. Don't let these end times people confuse you.

Know what you want and seek it out unapologetically. Give this guy 6 months undivided attention and if he doesn't look like he is ready for commitment then move on.

I would say chat to more than one guy and get to know a number of guys so you don't waste your time with the wrong guy but keep it discreet and close your legs while you're at it.

Unless I am wrong, you seem to be desperate for marriage because the guy ticks all the boxes of whom you’d like to settle down with especially because he is financially capable. Marriages goes more than financial capacity. Is he someone who is mentally stable? Manners? Decorum? It is obvious this guy is less interested in marriage and considering he is financially buoyant, imagine the number of ladies that throw themselves at him on a daily.

From my perspective, you seem to be ill informed about his basic communication/interaction manners. So far, I would like you to remain less expectant of his marriage proposal and take it each day as it comes.

For me, men are generally less interested in ladies that bugs them day and night especially when it comes to marriage. When you have the chance to meet him again, remove sex off the table and see his reaction. If it is positive, then you can find a time to share your opinion about where you want the relationship to head. If negative, as I think it would be, just cut the relationship off! All that glitters is gold! Cheers and good luck

Nat404:
Exactly. I totally agree with you. If a man doesn't take you to his house, it means something is fishy.

unfortunately some ladies don't know this. Number one red flag, careful before u end up getting scammed. Local yahoo is real, make this guy no use packaging collect better money from u oh.

ngoziwrites:



I just want to know what he has in mind. I stated it in my post that a year is fine. Even two years, if needs be. But I only prefer within a year... So does he even have it in mind yet.

The truth of the matter is he is not ready yet for you. A man who is ready will discuss his plans with the lady that he is in love with. You need a side guy. Get yourself one in case of necessity.

Are you a cool chick? Who knows, maybe I can introduce you to my friend. He's a very nice guy, handsome and from well-to-do family.

Go and read ubunja misseducation "IF THE MILK IS FREE"

ngoziwrites:



... I mentioned those things he has just to let u all know he is financially ready. So that part is out. I have never asked him for ordinary 1k and I don't intend. I make my own money. I only want someone with sense.

Na so una dey talk... U want to say u haven't met a struggling guy with sense that truely loves u..?

Na so una go dey pursue money up and down

E they do me to locate you beat....


He lodged in an hotel of 25k made me mad...



Na just the money they attract you mafo.

This man is fvccing up your mind! He is neither hot, nor cold.
If you don't have similar dreams, I think you should let him go.

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

You re just confused and desperate. Pls go take a break ,relax and enjoy yourself alone, value yourself before venturing into what you re doing now..

Babe red light dey, dey shine brightly but love don cover your eyes and u know dey see am...

That guy is playing with you and he is in a serious relationship or married, be wise and pay attention... Infact leave that guy as fast as possible, I hate such rubbish.

At this age don't rush into relationship, devil will be busy bringing useless men into your life because she sees you are ready to marry, know dey love anyhow, know dey open leg like that.. get down on your knees and ask God to filter the men that approach you then bring the right person your way, when the right person is coming be asking God for signs that shows he is the right person... You are just at a critical age of your life, if you make mistake now, u know fit reverse am againoo.

@ngoziwrites, you're not desperate, it only seems like you're asking in the wrong place. If he is ready for marriage, within six months to a year, he will. Also, a sure way to avoid pain and disappointment is to be honest with yourself, regardless of the outcome.

According to you, he has hinted that marriage is not for him, and doesn't seems like he wants it anytime soon. Why refuse reality? Disregarding these obvious signs are self-deceit, and you only postponed it's bites. Ask him, "what is the future of the relationship"?, and if he gives obscure answer, then ask directly, when he plans to get married.

Waiting unnecessarily is wrong. You're not desperate to want marriage, but if you're with someone that doesn't wants it, it would seem as such. Also, I refuse to believe that he doesn't know your desire, I swear, he knows. Which makes me wonder, if he loves you as you believed, then why don't he define the relationship or just let you go?

ngoziwrites:



... I mentioned those things he has just to let u all know he is financially ready. So that part is out. I have never asked him for ordinary 1k and I don't intend. I make my own money. I only want someone with sense.

you dey wyn yourself OP. you only want someone with sense yet you're with a nigga with lots to call inheritance. Is he the only nigga in your life? You're getting attention from? Lol

Trap!
Trap!
Abort

bigpicture001:


Na so una dey talk... U want to say u haven't met a struggling guy with sense that truely loves u..?

Na so una go dey pursue money up and down

na mumu dey worry Op. Make she dey deceive herself dey go

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

Looks like a player if you know u know lol.

ngoziwrites:



I just want to know what he has in mind. I stated it in my post that a year is fine. Even two years, if needs be. But I only prefer within a year... So does he even have it in mind yet.

From ur story he's not into u aka ur dating urself but u just don't know it yet even though it's crystal clear. He doesn't want to bond with u that's how u know easily. But u think it's cool... Premium tears awaiteth thee

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

You're having sex with him so why pay for the cow when u already have the milk

.......

MallamChukwudi:
@ngoziwrites, you're not desperate, it only seems like you're asking in the wrong place. If he is ready for marriage, within six months to a year, he will. Also, a sure way to avoid pain and disappointment is to be honest with yourself, regardless of the outcome.

According to you, he has hinted that marriage is not for him, and doesn't seems like he wants it anytime soon. Why refuse reality? Disregarding these obvious signs are self-deceit, and you only postponed it's bites. Ask him, "what is the future of the relationship"?, and if he gives obscure answer, then ask directly, when he plans to get married.

Waiting unnecessarily is wrong. You're not desperate to want marriage, but if you're with someone that doesn't wants it, it would seem as such. Also, I refuse to believe that he doesn't know your desire, I swear, he knows. Which makes me wonder, if he loves you as you believed, then why don't he define the relationship or just let you go?

Thank you. Trust me. He isn't even going to see me as desperate. I haven't asked him any sensitive question at all.

I am just writing my fears and thoughts here.

I even wrote that if he says he wants marriage in a year, that's perfect. Even 2 years, it's fine
I wrote all that. Unfortunately, they chose not to see that.

.........

I am ready if you think he is not ready
I know i might not have all the things he have
but i believe what matters is the love and affection

stacyadams:
them don ravage this one Toto for 25k per room hotel cos the guy get two cars and sell trucks and his a land lord...mosdii come and tell her

i swear, most ladies. Don't have value, she saw the guy was doing very well with two cars, and a building as home, she sharperly opened her legs, she says she loves him because he is financially buoyant to handle a family.

......

TheWolfen:
No need to rush into marriage.
Dude is taking his time
I think you should do same too as to know him more better. . .
6 months is just 6months and not 6 years okay, so relax.

It is okay to ask questions but don't rush him else he might pull away.

I wonder what u guys are reading though. Where and how did I say I am rushing him to get married? I only said I want to know if he is considering it. I would love to be with someone who is considering it. Then it can happen within a year of even two. That's fine.

But it's a totally different thing if he isn't considering marriage soon.