₦airaland Forum

stuffs4me:
You are a SIMP that married a demon

50pseamer:
Thanks so much for your mature advice, she does not really believe in the leadership of a man,at least from what I see. There was a time I asked her not to take my child to school and she told me she will take him to school , and she did ignoring my request, I have asked her if she wants to go, so that we can separate amicably, she should not worry about her documents, I will still help since she has a child for me. I am not sure if I ask her to stop going to her church that she will comply, but I will tell her my decision, being that we live in a white man's country, I have tried to be a bit soft. She is not telling me she wants to go, I am thinking she wants me to pull the divorce trigger, that's why she is not saying anything, if I ask her if she loves me, the answer comes with alot of delay too. It's unfortunate, I guess I made a big mistake

Datboredberry:
50pseamer...

The fault lies with her...I don't know what the men above are commenting on though... A man helping out in HIS home makes him weak or less African?

Primitive human beings...

Op... Your wife is a religious fanatic... Her claiming that your mom is a witch...the woman who gave birth to you, raised you up, and made you into the man she married... That's a no go area...

I can't tolerate that sh**...

She's being difficult delibrately... Manipulating you into severing your relationship with your mother whom she doesn't like...

Send her away!!! For a couple months... I don't know how you remain with someone who had the confidence to insult your own mom...

Better let her know who you're loyal to... Stop allowing her to play with your mind...

If you keep trying to please her, she wins...

I know a man... He brought his mom from her home to live with him... He traveled and his wife started to harass the poor old woman... When he got back, he sent his wife and his kids to the village... Less than a year, she learnt respect and humility...(not really but the suffering got to her)...

Be tough...

zanshi:
Divorce her!

You are a man with good and open intentions who wants to develop marriage connections with your wife and she is having none of that.


Tell her you have excersied all options to make the marriage work on your path and you would like to collapse the union and she goes to find her happiness somewhere else.

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

STENON:
Oh Dear !!!

Invite her mum and treat her same say she is planning to treat your mum.
Also start calling her Mum a witch ooo



I am raising my Baby now and I can't count the number of sleepless nights I have had plus the number of poo nappies I have changed

After all the stress of raising a Man like you, One wife go start calling me Witch. Na dat witch I go use kill her oo

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

Datboredberry:
The man being weak simply because he's been deprived of sex... He's as weak as they come...

There are male virgins out there with more balls...

Honestly, imagine crying that you wanna have sex with someone who goes out of their way to humiliate your own mother...

Maybe there's only a few of us who actually respect our parents...

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

novia22:
Don't try It oo....Don't try inviting her mother because she will never leave your house I promise you....

PapaGfad:
I couldn't resist commenting on this because I don't like to see couples suffer unnecessarily.

First, I need you to understand that most ladies of this dispensation maybe good but certainly not prepared for marriage. Their dream of marriage is far from the actual reality of the institution.

You have done well to speak out.

Now, please relax and restrategize. From the way you sound,you seem to be more passionate about the marriage than your wife.

Don't beat yourself too hard. Relax and keep your head together. If there is one thing you must do now, it is for you to let your wife know that she is not doing you a favour. You are both in a contract; you are both in a business. If she can no longer cope, you should be ready to show her the way out. Your kids will not suffer! For the kids, a sound minded divorced parents is better than a warped, depressed and uncoordinated parent

Please and please, don't go about this with ego o. You need to be manipulative and strategic about it. Never attack a woman defensively, you will not win o

Lastly, I have only provided you a surface answer. Only you know what and what is hidden between the two of you. I cannot begin to ask that now but I hope others will give you a more simpler solution or perspectives.

Datboredberry:
I impressed you...eww

Kuriosmynd:
Simping in marriage will take u no where.
Those bullshit marriage councilors tell you, to do more, sweep more, fetch more water, cook more, clean more, watch plate more and all those bullshit will not a change a demonic wife. And if she's lost sexual attraction for you, to burst ur bubble, doing those houseboy work especially when u dont normally do it will only make her pvssy dry the more.

Most of u all never saw ur father do those bullshit, yet he commanded respect from your mother, but u want to become house boy to ur wife and think u will get her respect...shiior.

This is Africa..no matter the advancement, doing those bullshit will only bring premium tears and disrespect....except out of volition on rare occasion, not out of duty, or her expectations.

If she needs domestic helper, she should get a houseboy. simple. What does she do with her salary? She should pay for househelp paraventure a man doesnt have enough for that

.
Nonsense

Shokoloko:
Based on your story, there is another plan.
Based on your story, a lot of information is being left out. I see through this write-up and you are not the saint.
She is not either

greypencils:
Baba na SU. His wife is probably the first or second person he has had sex with.

PapaGfad:
I couldn't resist commenting on this because I don't like to see couples suffer unnecessarily.

First, I need you to understand that most ladies of this dispensation maybe good but certainly not prepared for marriage. Their dream of marriage is far from the actual reality of the institution.

You have done well to speak out.

Now, please relax and restrategize. From the way you sound,you seem to be more passionate about the marriage than your wife.

Don't beat yourself too hard. Relax and keep your head together. If there is one thing you must do now, it is for you to let your wife know that she is not doing you a favour. You are both in a contract; you are both in a business. If she can no longer cope, you should be ready to show her the way out. Your kids will not suffer! For the kids, a sound minded divorced parents is better than a warped, depressed and uncoordinated parent

Please and please, don't go about this with ego o. You need to be manipulative and strategic about it. Never attack a woman defensively, you will not win o

Lastly, I have only provided you a surface answer. Only you know what and what is hidden between the two of you. I cannot begin to ask that now but I hope others will give you a more simpler solution or perspectives.

Datboredberry:
50pseamer...

The fault lies with her...I don't know what the men above are commenting on though... A man helping out in HIS home makes him weak or less African?

Primitive human beings...

Op... Your wife is a religious fanatic... Her claiming that your mom is a witch...the woman who gave birth to you, raised you up, and made you into the man she married... That's a no go area...

I can't tolerate that sh**...

She's being difficult delibrately... Manipulating you into severing your relationship with your mother whom she doesn't like...

Send her away!!! For a couple months... I don't know how you remain with someone who had the confidence to insult your own mom...

Better let her know who you're loyal to... Stop allowing her to play with your mind...

If you keep trying to please her, she wins...

I know a man... He brought his mom from her home to live with him... He traveled and his wife started to harass the poor old woman... When he got back, he sent his wife and his kids to the village... Less than a year, she learnt respect and humility...(not really but the suffering got to her)...

Be tough...

Datboredberry:
50pseamer...

The fault lies with her...I don't know what the men above are commenting on though... A man helping out in HIS home makes him weak or less African?

Primitive human beings...

Op... Your wife is a religious fanatic... Her claiming that your mom is a witch...the woman who gave birth to you, raised you up, and made you into the man she married... That's a no go area...

I can't tolerate that sh**...

She's being difficult delibrately... Manipulating you into severing your relationship with your mother whom she doesn't like...

Send her away!!! For a couple months... I don't know how you remain with someone who had the confidence to insult your own mom...

Better let her know who you're loyal to... Stop allowing her to play with your mind...

If you keep trying to please her, she wins...

I know a man... He brought his mom from her home to live with him... He traveled and his wife started to harass the poor old woman... When he got back, he sent his wife and his kids to the village... Less than a year, she learnt respect and humility...(not really but the suffering got to her)...

Be tough...

Ishilove:
Be careful whose counsel you listen to on this forum. The user you quoted is an inexperienced teenager, while 95% of those commenting are not even married, neither do they have steady relationships.

What I see here is a lack of submissiveness from your partner. Marriage counseling from professionals is the only way out.

[b]I also find the allegation of your wife calling your mum a witch hard to believe [/b]because no sane woman will openly say such before her husband. Either you are exaggerating or your wife is very disrespectful. Whichever, the ball is in your court.

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

50pseamer:
I am not saying I am a saint, infact when there are issues , I apologize more easily than my wife. I feel very strongly for my child, I do not want him to suffer, she complained earlier that I was not helping with the baby and I started helping more, after a while, she said we need to go to a counsellor, I have agreed and also searched for a Christian one, but she prefers the one with a degree in psychology,
Sometimes when she offends me I can be blunt, and I might says some words, but not extreme words the words are only an interpretation of the attitude I see.
She knows it all, and does not easily take correction, even when I try to play with her she easily takes offence. Mind you all these never happened while we were dating, I noticed a bit of stubbornness and I tried to correct her , and told her that is one of the attribute I hate the most.
I am at point that I am not sure she loves me , and I don't even know if everything happening in my home is normal.

Kuriosmynd:
Simping in marriage will take u no where.
Those bullshit marriage councilors tell you, to do more, sweep more, fetch more water, cook more, clean more, watch plate more and all those bullshit will not a change a demonic wife. And if she's lost sexual attraction for you, to burst ur bubble, doing those houseboy work especially when u dont normally do it will only make her pvssy dry the more.

Most of u all never saw ur father do those bullshit, yet he commanded respect from your mother, but u want to become house boy to ur wife and think u will get her respect...shiior.

This is Africa..no matter the advancement, doing those bullshit will only bring premium tears and disrespect....except out of volition on rare occasion, not out of duty, or her expectations.

If she needs domestic helper, she should get a houseboy. simple. What does she do with her salary? She should pay for househelp paraventure a man doesnt have enough for that

.
Nonsense

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

Toks2008:
Please what exactly is the problem here cos I honestly can't find one.

Bro Marriage is all about tolerance and making compromises.

I think you are the problem here cis you are seeing issues where there is none.

Relax, love more, complain less, and be tolerant. Laslas your marriage go dey alright.

cedricksly:
in all you have said I respected this comment from you, "even if my mother is a witch." your mother is a witch yet you are living abroad and not borrowing to eat, or pay bills, none of your family member has died neither is prosperity cut short, you wife and that her pastor wen tag ur mama witch dey craze for head... It is obvious your wife want to flex muscle bcoz maybe uve done court wedding with her without prenuptial agreement, as well as she know over there woman her favoured in judgement.... If I were u I will just ignore all her excesses and allow her do her mind as she dim it fit, if your marriage will strive or crash it is in her hand.