₦airaland Forum

Theonlysonofher:
Unfortunately my sweet mother left us

OMG!

take heart Sir.

candygist:
Another reason why I got no love for Nigerian women especially these new set (generation). It’s obvious your wife don’t give a fu*k about ur mom. You just make sure you train your daughters the right way and if you have enough money….. send them to school in a developed country at a very young age so that they can avoid growing up with these current type of girls we breed in Nigeria. God no go shame us.

no be she born the kids? Is it possible to take out the hatred you have for their mother by seperating the kids? Whatever you have against their mother should not have any direct or indirect impact on the kids

soundOsonic:
You haven't forgiven her, if at all you have you wouldn't be here posting this.
The only problem I saw here was lack of proper education from your wife.
Now sir, reason this: if she actually knew feeding her salt will lead to this; would she have fed her?
She was only careless and didn't take her diabetes serious.
She acknowledged her mistake and she had apologized already. I know this trying time is enough to pass blame, but blaming her wouldn't make the matter better or worse.

It was a silly mistake, even doctors makes mistakes, you too make mistakes, she had learnt. Go back to your house and clear it from your chest and celebrate the new year with your family.
Happy New year

Modified:
For those quoting me
For those saying it was intentional, you need to have sense. This isn't Nollywood movie it is real life.
The wife was only lazy and took her sickness for granted. This is the most logical explanation. It is still thesame reason why you poison yourselves taking alcohol, soft drinks, and food rich in oil and fats, though you are conscious of this fact this things are not good for you yet you take them, this is because you are not taking your health serious and you haven't seen with your eyes the implications what this things can cause.
The woman was conscious of the fact this things are not good, but she took it lightly because she haven't seen in first hand the implications.
I myself haven't seen first hand the implications of diabetics. I would have made same mistake due to laziness.

Modified: I heard the mama died OP take heart. Your wife was just foolish and that foolishness led to the costly mistake that was paid with a human life. Such is life, you have every right to be angry but madam did not kill your mother intentionally. Life goes on, I wish you would forgive her one day. Just note it can happen to anybody

Do you think the wife would had done the same to her own mother?

As for the op, I am very skeptical about the goodness of people more especially religious people. If your are nice to people because that is what your religion asks you to do then in my opinion you are a piece of shit. If you are nice to people because you love them then in my opinion you are trashy human.

We should treat human with dignity irrespective of whether you love them or not or whether they are related to you or not or whether your religious beliefs instructed you to or not.

Most of the problems we have a black people borders on how we treat our fellow human. From our relationship with our neighbours to how our politicians treat we the masses.

If only your wife treats people not related to her with dignity she would have treated your mom well irrespective of whether she is your mom or hers.

I hope she raise your kids to treat other people with dignity.

Serving her meals with salt would increase her blood pressure, make her retain fluids. The amount of salt required for poisoning cannot be in the food since you all ate the same food. It would be inedible. Something else is wrong with mama. Free your wife and ask the doctor to explain better.

Theonlysonofher:
While others are celebrating the new year today I am here sobbing because my marriage is at the verge of breaking.

I loved my wife with all my heart but I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she has done to my mother.

I am the only child of my mother. I have three sisters on my father's side.
I am married with two beautiful daughters. my mother suffered from diabetes, bp and high cholesterol. She is on a special diets strictly no salt or too much sugar.

She came to stay with me because the person who was taking care of her wasn't doing her job properly so I had to bring her to my house so I will be monitoring her health.

I have a house help who prepares all her meals with less salt and she also makes sure she takes her medicines on time without fail.
Everything was fine, my mother is not a troublesome person, she gets on well with my wife and most of the time she is in her room resting.

On the 20th of December my house help had traveled to the village to see her people and she will be back in January 4th so my wife and I have to take care of my mother making sure that her foods is less salty and medicines on time.

Since I am always working so my wife had to take most of the responsibility. It is only for a week and fews days until the house help is back.

She had agreed to take care of my mother during this periods of time and I thought everything was fine but I noticed my mother become distant and tired unlike her and I had no idea that she was actually dying and I have never suspected that my wife was maltreating her.

So Thursday being 30th December I was at work when my wife called and asked me to join her at the hospital because mama had a seizure.

I rushed to the hospital and my mother was in a coma state and I asked her what happened to mama, she said mama woke up that morning complaining about shortage of breath and she told her to go back to bed and rest hoping she will be fine by the time she will wake up.
Only for mama to fall off the ground and started shaking with foam coming out of her mouth.

I was in panicked I couldn't stop praying for my mother to get better and I didn't leave the hospital, my wife went home to take care of the children because she has left them with the neighbour and I had spend all night prayer vigil at my mother's bedside and glory be to God my mother woke up yesterday being 31st but the doctor report was not a good news for me.

Actually my mother was poisoned with salt and guess who did it? My beloved wife couldn't bothered to cook a different meal for my mother, she used to feed her the same meal we ate knowing full well that mama cannot eat the same foods as us because we are salt lovers, especially my wife, she love eating too much salt which I have warned her over and over again because it is also not good for her health.

I confronted her, she said she only fed mama the same meals we ate twice only but according to the doctor it was more than two times.

I am hurt that my wife doesnt love my mother or treat her like her own mother because if she truly loved her like her own mother she would have put her diet on consideration and not allow her to eat the same meal as us. I love her mother and u treat her like my own mother.

It pains me a lot when I remember five years ago when her mother was in coma state and she was staying with her at the hospital, she is her only daughter amongst three boys.

I used to visit them everyday after work, I will bring foods and I have even washed her mother clothes with my own hands, I have done with love because she is my mother. I called my mother in law this morning and I have informed her about what her daughter has done to my mother and she couldn't stop apologising and she is very disappointed with my wife.

But see how she has repaid me by hurting my own mother.

She has apologised to me and to my mother, I have forgave her but I don't think I can stay with her again because one day if I become sick or bedridden she might treat me the same way.

Honestly speaking I am not even at home with her and the kids, I am at my cousin brother's house since yesterday I left the hospital and my mother is still in the hospital because she needs more treatment and hopefully she will recover by next week.

I don't feel like going home today and I don't know when I'll go home but I will always be there for my girls because they are the best thing that ever happened to me.

What other advice would you give me on this situation? What are your thoughts? Thank you for reading all I love this community.

yemi1504:
Hmmmm .

so sorry for his loss only God can heal him

It's only God that can make him not see his wife differently because

soundOsonic:
You haven't forgiven her, if at all you have you wouldn't be here posting this.
The only problem I saw here was lack of proper education from your wife.
Now sir, reason this: if she actually knew feeding her salt will lead to this; would she have fed her?
She was only careless and didn't take her diabetes serious.
She acknowledged her mistake and she had apologized already. I know this trying time is enough to pass blame, but blaming her wouldn't make the matter better or worse.

It was a silly mistake, even doctors makes mistakes, you too make mistakes, she had learnt. Go back to your house and clear it from your chest and celebrate the new year with your family.
Happy New year

Modified:
For those quoting me
For those saying it was intentional, you need to have sense. This isn't Nollywood movie it is real life.
The wife was only lazy and took her sickness for granted. This is the most logical explanation. It is still thesame reason why you poison yourselves taking alcohol, soft drinks, and food rich in oil and fats, though you are conscious of this fact this things are not good for you yet you take them, this is because you are not taking your health serious and you haven't seen with your eyes the implications what this things can cause.
The woman was conscious of the fact this things are not good, but she took it lightly because she haven't seen in first hand the implications.
I myself haven't seen first hand the implications of diabetics. I would have made same mistake due to laziness.

Modified: I heard the mama died OP take heart. Your wife was just foolish and that foolishness led to the costly mistake that was paid with a human life. Such is life, you have every right to be angry but madam did not kill your mother intentionally. Life goes on, I wish you would forgive her one day. Just note it can happen to anybody

God bless you for this wonderful words of advice. It is now making one to understand that wise counsel can actually come from Nairaland Forum. @OP I don't think you can have a better advice than this. Also consider the good aspects of your wife and forgive her

mama is gone,i wonder how u would feel towards your wife. i know there's no amount of advise/words of consolation we give to you that will change how mama's death will make u see ur wife henceforth.
The feeling of disdain,anger,regret towards ur wife will be there.

Abeg just take it easy...i would advise that you travel for sometime and cool off.

calmness0:
Op, This is a very serious matter.

I honestly don't think your wife deliberately intended to poison your mother.

I believe it was just laziness on her part to Cook separate meals.

Modified: Wow mama later died? Chai Op take heart. God save us all from making life threatening mistakes o,

Painful Lesson learnt: difference between life and death is just one mistake away.

Where did you see she later died?

Why

dangotesmummy:
so sorry for his loss only God can heal him

It's only God that can make him not see his wife differently because

Sorry I feel with his loss, that is the last straw that broke the camel's back as should be if I were in his shoes.

She is not lazy at all,she did that on purpose, when not remove the mother in-law food before adding the salt, it takes nothing to do that if she truly love and respect her, see if you see bad thing talk and if see good thing talk..if a man can go a long way to make you and your family happy why not do the same for his family... Just salt and sugar, it takes nothing please..




post=108995159]You haven't forgiven her, if at all you have you wouldn't be here posting this.
The only problem I saw here was lack of proper education from your wife.
Now sir, reason this: if she actually knew feeding her salt will lead to this; would she have fed her?
She was only careless and didn't take her diabetes serious.
She acknowledged her mistake and she had apologized already. I know this trying time is enough to pass blame, but blaming her wouldn't make the matter better or worse.

It was a silly mistake, even doctors makes mistakes, you too make mistakes, she had learnt. Go back to your house and clear it from your chest and celebrate the new year with your family.
Happy New year

Modified:
For those quoting me
For those saying it was intentional, you need to have sense. This isn't Nollywood movie it is real life.
The wife was only lazy and took her sickness for granted. This is the most logical explanation. It is still thesame reason why you poison yourselves taking alcohol, soft drinks, and food rich in oil and fats, though you are conscious of this fact this things are not good for you yet you take them, this is because you are not taking your health serious and you haven't seen with your eyes the implications what this things can cause.
The woman was conscious of the fact this things are not good, but she took it lightly because she haven't seen in first

aalangel:
Will you find your home immediately!!!!!! Next thing you'll be looking for another lady to calm your nerves. You're using a problem to solve a problem. Typical Nigerian. Mtchewww...

It's very unfortunate you typed this rubbish. Someone is mourning and this gutter of a nonsense is all that comes to your dumb head to dish out. It's too early 2022.. Its a pity.

aalangel:
Will you find your home immediately!!!!!! Next thing you'll be looking for another lady to calm your nerves. You're using a problem to solve a problem. Typical Nigerian. Mtchewww...

Typical Nigerian man and a hiss. Really?

yemi1504:
Sorry I feel with his loss, that is the last straw that broke the camel's back as should be if I were in his shoes.

it's hard to love a woman that had a hand indirectly in the death of your mom sex sef will be affected

It was a silly mistake occasioned by Laziness. I understand how you love your mother being the only child. You need to forgive your wife and forge ahead. Your marriage is important to your salvation and your girls'. God comfort you brethren.

dangotesmummy:
it's hard to love a woman that had a hand indirectly in the death of your mom sex sef will be affected

You can say that again! I am thinking the decision is so easy for him, he should just make sure to take care of his children. That is why we always say one should not be lazy or negligent, such person not only reaps the consequences, others do too.

Theonlysonofher:
While others are celebrating the new year today I am here sobbing because my marriage is at the verge of breaking.

I loved my wife with all my heart but I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she has done to my mother.

I am the only child of my mother. I have three sisters on my father's side.
I am married with two beautiful daughters. my mother suffered from diabetes, bp and high cholesterol. She is on a special diets strictly no salt or too much sugar.

She came to stay with me because the person who was taking care of her wasn't doing her job properly so I had to bring her to my house so I will be monitoring her health.

I have a house help who prepares all her meals with less salt and she also makes sure she takes her medicines on time without fail.
Everything was fine, my mother is not a troublesome person, she gets on well with my wife and most of the time she is in her room resting.

On the 20th of December my house help had traveled to the village to see her people and she will be back in January 4th so my wife and I have to take care of my mother making sure that her foods is less salty and medicines on time.

Since I am always working so my wife had to take most of the responsibility. It is only for a week and fews days until the house help is back.

She had agreed to take care of my mother during this periods of time and I thought everything was fine but I noticed my mother become distant and tired unlike her and I had no idea that she was actually dying and I have never suspected that my wife was maltreating her.

So Thursday being 30th December I was at work when my wife called and asked me to join her at the hospital because mama had a seizure.

I rushed to the hospital and my mother was in a coma state and I asked her what happened to mama, she said mama woke up that morning complaining about shortage of breath and she told her to go back to bed and rest hoping she will be fine by the time she will wake up.
Only for mama to fall off the ground and started shaking with foam coming out of her mouth.

I was in panicked I couldn't stop praying for my mother to get better and I didn't leave the hospital, my wife went home to take care of the children because she has left them with the neighbour and I had spend all night prayer vigil at my mother's bedside and glory be to God my mother woke up yesterday being 31st but the doctor report was not a good news for me.

Actually my mother was poisoned with salt and guess who did it? My beloved wife couldn't bothered to cook a different meal for my mother, she used to feed her the same meal we ate knowing full well that mama cannot eat the same foods as us because we are salt lovers, especially my wife, she love eating too much salt which I have warned her over and over again because it is also not good for her health.

I confronted her, she said she only fed mama the same meals we ate twice only but according to the doctor it was more than two times.

I am hurt that my wife doesnt love my mother or treat her like her own mother because if she truly loved her like her own mother she would have put her diet on consideration and not allow her to eat the same meal as us. I love her mother and u treat her like my own mother.

It pains me a lot when I remember five years ago when her mother was in coma state and she was staying with her at the hospital, she is her only daughter amongst three boys.

I used to visit them everyday after work, I will bring foods and I have even washed her mother clothes with my own hands, I have done with love because she is my mother. I called my mother in law this morning and I have informed her about what her daughter has done to my mother and she couldn't stop apologising and she is very disappointed with my wife.

But see how she has repaid me by hurting my own mother.

She has apologised to me and to my mother, I have forgave her but I don't think I can stay with her again because one day if I become sick or bedridden she might treat me the same way.

Honestly speaking I am not even at home with her and the kids, I am at my cousin brother's house since yesterday I left the hospital and my mother is still in the hospital because she needs more treatment and hopefully she will recover by next week.

I don't feel like going home today and I don't know when I'll go home but I will always be there for my girls because they are the best thing that ever happened to me.

What other advice would you give me on this situation? What are your thoughts? Thank you for reading all I love this community.

Let's accept your wife did this intentionally, but....
Why did your mother go ahead and eat the meals, since she can clearly taste the higher salt content?
I mean, she is used to food tasting bland (saltless)
So, how come she didn't reject the meals at FIRST TASTE??
Did your wife force feed her?

I'm sorry about the loss of your mother! I'm not trying to support your wife but have you also thought about the possibility of the maid being responsible for the over saltiness of your mother's food? Bcuz u said ,ur wife said she fed ur mum 2ce with normal salted food,while the doctor said it's more than once.#Justsaying.
Meanwhile that was a big mistake your wife made,i pray u find a place in your heart to forgive your wife,and return home,the reality is that your mother would have still died one day,so pls forgive your wife and accept that your mother just obeyed God's call. I'm sorry once again.

Theonlysonofher:
While others are celebrating the new year today I am here sobbing because my marriage is at the verge of breaking.

I loved my wife with all my heart but I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she has done to my mother.

I am the only child of my mother. I have three sisters on my father's side.
I am married with two beautiful daughters. my mother suffered from diabetes, bp and high cholesterol. She is on a special diets strictly no salt or too much sugar.

She came to stay with me because the person who was taking care of her wasn't doing her job properly so I had to bring her to my house so I will be monitoring her health.

I have a house help who prepares all her meals with less salt and she also makes sure she takes her medicines on time without fail.
Everything was fine, my mother is not a troublesome person, she gets on well with my wife and most of the time she is in her room resting.

On the 20th of December my house help had traveled to the village to see her people and she will be back in January 4th so my wife and I have to take care of my mother making sure that her foods is less salty and medicines on time.

Since I am always working so my wife had to take most of the responsibility. It is only for a week and fews days until the house help is back.

She had agreed to take care of my mother during this periods of time and I thought everything was fine but I noticed my mother become distant and tired unlike her and I had no idea that she was actually dying and I have never suspected that my wife was maltreating her.

So Thursday being 30th December I was at work when my wife called and asked me to join her at the hospital because mama had a seizure.

I rushed to the hospital and my mother was in a coma state and I asked her what happened to mama, she said mama woke up that morning complaining about shortage of breath and she told her to go back to bed and rest hoping she will be fine by the time she will wake up.
Only for mama to fall off the ground and started shaking with foam coming out of her mouth.

I was in panicked I couldn't stop praying for my mother to get better and I didn't leave the hospital, my wife went home to take care of the children because she has left them with the neighbour and I had spend all night prayer vigil at my mother's bedside and glory be to God my mother woke up yesterday being 31st but the doctor report was not a good news for me.

Actually my mother was poisoned with salt and guess who did it? My beloved wife couldn't bothered to cook a different meal for my mother, she used to feed her the same meal we ate knowing full well that mama cannot eat the same foods as us because we are salt lovers, especially my wife, she love eating too much salt which I have warned her over and over again because it is also not good for her health.

I confronted her, she said she only fed mama the same meals we ate twice only but according to the doctor it was more than two times.

I am hurt that my wife doesnt love my mother or treat her like her own mother because if she truly loved her like her own mother she would have put her diet on consideration and not allow her to eat the same meal as us. I love her mother and u treat her like my own mother.

It pains me a lot when I remember five years ago when her mother was in coma state and she was staying with her at the hospital, she is her only daughter amongst three boys.

I used to visit them everyday after work, I will bring foods and I have even washed her mother clothes with my own hands, I have done with love because she is my mother. I called my mother in law this morning and I have informed her about what her daughter has done to my mother and she couldn't stop apologising and she is very disappointed with my wife.

But see how she has repaid me by hurting my own mother.

She has apologised to me and to my mother, I have forgave her but I don't think I can stay with her again because one day if I become sick or bedridden she might treat me the same way.

Honestly speaking I am not even at home with her and the kids, I am at my cousin brother's house since yesterday I left the hospital and my mother is still in the hospital because she needs more treatment and hopefully she will recover by next week.

I don't feel like going home today and I don't know when I'll go home but I will always be there for my girls because they are the best thing that ever happened to me.

What other advice would you give me on this situation? What are your thoughts? Thank you for reading all I love this community.

Theonlysonofher:
While others are celebrating the new year today I am here sobbing because my marriage is at the verge of breaking.

I loved my wife with all my heart but I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she has done to my mother.

I am the only child of my mother. I have three sisters on my father's side.
I am married with two beautiful daughters. my mother suffered from diabetes, bp and high cholesterol. She is on a special diets strictly no salt or too much sugar.

She came to stay with me because the person who was taking care of her wasn't doing her job properly so I had to bring her to my house so I will be monitoring her health.

I have a house help who prepares all her meals with less salt and she also makes sure she takes her medicines on time without fail.
Everything was fine, my mother is not a troublesome person, she gets on well with my wife and most of the time she is in her room resting.

On the 20th of December my house help had traveled to the village to see her people and she will be back in January 4th so my wife and I have to take care of my mother making sure that her foods is less salty and medicines on time.

Since I am always working so my wife had to take most of the responsibility. It is only for a week and fews days until the house help is back.

She had agreed to take care of my mother during this periods of time and I thought everything was fine but I noticed my mother become distant and tired unlike her and I had no idea that she was actually dying and I have never suspected that my wife was maltreating her.

So Thursday being 30th December I was at work when my wife called and asked me to join her at the hospital because mama had a seizure.

I rushed to the hospital and my mother was in a coma state and I asked her what happened to mama, she said mama woke up that morning complaining about shortage of breath and she told her to go back to bed and rest hoping she will be fine by the time she will wake up.
Only for mama to fall off the ground and started shaking with foam coming out of her mouth.

I was in panicked I couldn't stop praying for my mother to get better and I didn't leave the hospital, my wife went home to take care of the children because she has left them with the neighbour and I had spend all night prayer vigil at my mother's bedside and glory be to God my mother woke up yesterday being 31st but the doctor report was not a good news for me.

Actually my mother was poisoned with salt and guess who did it? My beloved wife couldn't bothered to cook a different meal for my mother, she used to feed her the same meal we ate knowing full well that mama cannot eat the same foods as us because we are salt lovers, especially my wife, she love eating too much salt which I have warned her over and over again because it is also not good for her health.

I confronted her, she said she only fed mama the same meals we ate twice only but according to the doctor it was more than two times.

I am hurt that my wife doesnt love my mother or treat her like her own mother because if she truly loved her like her own mother she would have put her diet on consideration and not allow her to eat the same meal as us. I love her mother and u treat her like my own mother.

It pains me a lot when I remember five years ago when her mother was in coma state and she was staying with her at the hospital, she is her only daughter amongst three boys.

I used to visit them everyday after work, I will bring foods and I have even washed her mother clothes with my own hands, I have done with love because she is my mother. I called my mother in law this morning and I have informed her about what her daughter has done to my mother and she couldn't stop apologising and she is very disappointed with my wife.

But see how she has repaid me by hurting my own mother.

She has apologised to me and to my mother, I have forgave her but I don't think I can stay with her again because one day if I become sick or bedridden she might treat me the same way.

Honestly speaking I am not even at home with her and the kids, I am at my cousin brother's house since yesterday I left the hospital and my mother is still in the hospital because she needs more treatment and hopefully she will recover by next week.

I don't feel like going home today and I don't know when I'll go home but I will always be there for my girls because they are the best thing that ever happened to me.

What other advice would you give me on this situation? What are your thoughts? Thank you for reading all I love this community.

Sorry for such nonsense from your wife

Your mum was badly hurt and pls go back home so that you can plan how to reposition your self

You can't be far away from your home and mum this time around

As for your wife, she deserves any decisions you want to take against her

I don't like stupid behaviors not even from people you trusted most

As you recover from the embarrassment, your inner mind will advise you further

Theonlysonofher:
Unfortunately my sweet mother left us

Sad to read.RIP mama. Op take heart. May God comfort you and your loved ones

Wizlead:
Where did you see she later died?

Go to page 7, op said he leta lost her

dangotesmummy:
no be she born the kids? Is it possible to take out the hatred you have for their mother by seperating the kids? Whatever you have against their mother should not have any direct or indirect impact on the kids

Who be this aboki ? Did I ask him to separate mother and daughters ? Is it not also in the interest of the mother of the daughters her trained in a developed country ?

Theonlysonofher:
Unfortunately my sweet mother left us

I'm terribly sorry for your loss


I'm very sure it's more than hard to leave in the same house with such a woman now or even ever.
Maybe After so much pleading and sorts, u may try to consider to forgive her but the truth is u can never forget she actually caused mommas death!!! Nothing hurts more , well u re just a business partner to her not a family so I guess u would expect even more if (pray not) u happen to be any bad situation in the nearest future....cuz SHE WOULD NEVER HAD TREATED HER OWN FAMILY IN SUCH WAY. IMAGINE MOTHER!!!
No it's not being careless, or laziness or whatever..
She just no send u or ur family!!! U be business partner period!!!
Not even nowadays that ladies pray they dont have a mother in law ....


I'm terribly sorry for your pain, I truly am!!!!

eyinjuege:
This your story get as e be.
I doubt the kind of salt that would make your mum have a seizure is one that anyone would be able to eat the meal, including your wife who likes salt. And this happened in about a week.
I would look into another cause for her seizures.
Hope she had a brain scan at the hospital because she might have suffered a stroke or ministroke.
Or was Mama having more than the number of tablets she should be having for her diabetes? Was she deliberately/unintentionally being overdosed on antidiabetic drugs that can cause low glucose, which in turn can cause seizures? Who is in charge of giving her the medicines? Can she be doing that by herself?
Or Mama has been avoiding eating food prepared by your wife because it's too salty, and she's still taking her diabetic medication on an empty stomach?
Please investigate further and ask your mum how she has been using her medicines.
It may be better to get her a weekly pill box with days of the week and times to take her medicine, so nobody gets confused about how she should be using her medicines

They said the mum later died.

I understand how you feel. Pls i beg u, forgive and forget but pay someone else to take care of ur mum.

calmness0:
Op, This is a very serious matter.

I honestly don't think your wife deliberately intended to poison your mother.

I believe it was just laziness on her part to Cook separate meals.

Modified: Wow mama later died? Chai Op take heart. God save us all from making life threatening mistakes o,

Painful Lesson learnt: difference between life and death is just one mistake away.

Where did you people even get the news that his mother later died? The op didn't state anything like that in this post I just read.

Theonlysonofher:
Unfortunately my sweet mother left us

I'm terribly sorry for your loss


I'm very sure it's more than hard to leave in the same house with such a woman now or even ever.
Maybe After so much pleading and sorts, u may try to consider to forgive her but the truth is u can never forget she actually caused mommas death!!! Nothing hurts more , well u re just a business partner to her not a family so I guess u would expect even more if (pray not) u happen to be any bad situation in the nearest future....cuz SHE WOULD NEVER HAD TREATED HER OWN FAMILY IN SUCH WAY. IMAGINE MOTHER!!!
No it's not being careless, or laziness or whatever..
She just no send u or ur family!!! U be business partner period!!!
Not even nowadays that ladies pray they dont have a mother in law ....women re so much terrible that they see their mother in law as a rival to them.


I'm terribly sorry for your pain, I truly am!!!!

JOemmy:
Where did you people even get the news that his mother later died? The op didn't state anything like that in this post I just read.

Go to page 7

yemi1504:
The views saying it is intentional seem to have a point! Because if it is really more than twice, that is not even in the negligence territory anymore!

Since we are in the business of trading blames, then I blame the OP and his doctor for his Mum's death. Ignorance should no longer be an excuse in this information age. I will explain...

His mum (from the story) had a seizure, most likely a stroke which led to her death.

Seizures could be from other causes too (electrolyte imbalances, infections, brain tumors etc.) Only an autopsy could help in identifying the actual cause of the seizure post-mortem.

Health guidelines (JNC-VIII) advise that daily consumption of salt should be between 2 to 3 milligrams of sodium or 1 teaspoon of salt per day.

One teaspoon of Dangote iodized salt contains about 2 milligrams of sodium. Even if his wife used FOUR teaspoons of salt to cook the pot of food, it will be (4 x 2mg= 8mg total of sodium) of salt in THE ENTIRE POT of food.

So unless Mama (may her soul R. I. P) ate the ENTIRE POT, then I don't believe that her sodium levels hit the roof like OP is alluding to.

Seasoning like Maggi and Knorr have high sodium levels too (up to 25g equivalent of raw salt per cube) but these will equally be diluted in the entire serving. And Mama would only have eaten a portion of the whole serving.

In fact, I advise my patients to cut down more on seasoning (especially the ones like Ajinomoto) rather than raw salt.


If Mama was hypertensive and diabetic, she should have been on a diuretic to get rid of any excess sodium (*** I'm throwing a shade at the finger pointing doctor***)

Here is what I think happened; Mama had a heart attack which compromised blood supply to her brain (cerebral hypoxia). This now made her to have a seizure (most likely from a CVA).

Most Nigerian doctors with limited experience underestimate the frequency of coronary events in elderly diabetics; a patient population notorious for having several episodes of silent, sub-clinical coronary events (aka mild, silent heart attacks). These mild heart attacks are usually a warning sign of a major heart attack looming.

Now I ask;
1. Was Mama ever screened for coronary heart disease when she was alive?

2. Was she on anti-platelet therapy when she was alive?

3. Even when she was brought into the emergency room were protocols to screen for/counter acute coronary syndrome ever implemented?

If the answer to ANY of these 3 questions is "NO", then please the man's wife should be left alone (in fact if I were her brother I would advise her to divorce that idiot. What manner of man will come to Nairaland and start accusing his wife of such??)

Likewise, what doctor will tell a patient relative that "Cock and bull" story of excess salt being the cause of a seizure??

OP should have taken his Mum to a better hospital for specialist care.

And the doctor should invest his time and money in medical textbooks and current journals to improve patient care and reduce blaming others for his own shortcomings.

R.I.P. to the deceased, but doctor and OP should both learn from this experience to avoid future occurrences.

Believe me, you are overreacting.
She knew it wasn't good for her health but obviously didn't know it could be that bad.

You have a good woman as wife and please try get over this mistake and live your lives well as before.

Nobody said marriage would be without these pains and errors.

Cheers

Theonlysonofher:
While others are celebrating the new year today I am here sobbing because my marriage is at the verge of breaking.

I loved my wife with all my heart but I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she has done to my mother.

I am the only child of my mother. I have three sisters on my father's side.
I am married with two beautiful daughters. my mother suffered from diabetes, bp and high cholesterol. She is on a special diets strictly no salt or too much sugar.

She came to stay with me because the person who was taking care of her wasn't doing her job properly so I had to bring her to my house so I will be monitoring her health.

I have a house help who prepares all her meals with less salt and she also makes sure she takes her medicines on time without fail.
Everything was fine, my mother is not a troublesome person, she gets on well with my wife and most of the time she is in her room resting.

On the 20th of December my house help had traveled to the village to see her people and she will be back in January 4th so my wife and I have to take care of my mother making sure that her foods is less salty and medicines on time.

Since I am always working so my wife had to take most of the responsibility. It is only for a week and fews days until the house help is back.

She had agreed to take care of my mother during this periods of time and I thought everything was fine but I noticed my mother become distant and tired unlike her and I had no idea that she was actually dying and I have never suspected that my wife was maltreating her.

So Thursday being 30th December I was at work when my wife called and asked me to join her at the hospital because mama had a seizure.

I rushed to the hospital and my mother was in a coma state and I asked her what happened to mama, she said mama woke up that morning complaining about shortage of breath and she told her to go back to bed and rest hoping she will be fine by the time she will wake up.
Only for mama to fall off the ground and started shaking with foam coming out of her mouth.

I was in panicked I couldn't stop praying for my mother to get better and I didn't leave the hospital, my wife went home to take care of the children because she has left them with the neighbour and I had spend all night prayer vigil at my mother's bedside and glory be to God my mother woke up yesterday being 31st but the doctor report was not a good news for me.

Actually my mother was poisoned with salt and guess who did it? My beloved wife couldn't bothered to cook a different meal for my mother, she used to feed her the same meal we ate knowing full well that mama cannot eat the same foods as us because we are salt lovers, especially my wife, she love eating too much salt which I have warned her over and over again because it is also not good for her health.

I confronted her, she said she only fed mama the same meals we ate twice only but according to the doctor it was more than two times.

I am hurt that my wife doesnt love my mother or treat her like her own mother because if she truly loved her like her own mother she would have put her diet on consideration and not allow her to eat the same meal as us. I love her mother and u treat her like my own mother.

It pains me a lot when I remember five years ago when her mother was in coma state and she was staying with her at the hospital, she is her only daughter amongst three boys.

I used to visit them everyday after work, I will bring foods and I have even washed her mother clothes with my own hands, I have done with love because she is my mother. I called my mother in law this morning and I have informed her about what her daughter has done to my mother and she couldn't stop apologising and she is very disappointed with my wife.

But see how she has repaid me by hurting my own mother.

She has apologised to me and to my mother, I have forgave her but I don't think I can stay with her again because one day if I become sick or bedridden she might treat me the same way.

Honestly speaking I am not even at home with her and the kids, I am at my cousin brother's house since yesterday I left the hospital and my mother is still in the hospital because she needs more treatment and hopefully she will recover by next week.

I don't feel like going home today and I don't know when I'll go home but I will always be there for my girls because they are the best thing that ever happened to me.

What other advice would you give me on this situation? What are your thoughts? Thank you for reading all I love this community.

Thanks

AkaraAndBread:
Since we are in the business of trading blames, then I blame the OP and his doctor for his Mum's death. Ignorance should no longer be an excuse in this information age. I will explain...

His mum (from the story) had a seizure, most likely a stroke which led to her death.

Seizures could be from other causes (electrolyte imbalances, infections, brain tumors etc.) Only an autopsy could help in identifying the actual cause of the seizure post-mortem.

Health guidelines (JNC-VIII) advise that daily consumption of salt should be between 2 to 3 grams per day.

One teaspoon of Dangote iodized salt contains about 2 grams of salt. Even if his wife used FOUR teaspoons of salt to cook the pot of food, it will be (4 x 2g= 8g total) of salt in THE ENTIRE POT of food.

So unless Mama (may her soul R. I. P) ate the ENTIRE POT, then I don't believe that her sodium levels hit the roof like OP is alluding to.

Seasoning like Maggi and Knorr have high sodium levels too (up to 25g per cube) but these will equally be diluted in the entire serving. And Mama would only have eaten a portion of the whole serving.

In fact, I advise my patients to cut down more on seasoning (especially the ones like Ajinomoto) rather than raw salt.


If Mama was hypertensive and diabetic, she should have been on a diuretic to get rid of any excess sodium (*** I'm throwing a shade at the finger pointing doctor***)

Here is what I think happened; Mama had a heart attack which compromised blood supply to her brain (cerebral hypoxia). This now made her to have a seizure (most likely from a CVA).

Most Nigerian doctors with limited experience underestimate the frequency of coronary events in elderly diabetics; a patient population notorious for having several episodes of silent, sub-clinical coronary events (aka mild, silent heart attacks). These mild heart attacks are usually a warning sign of a major heart attack looming.

Now I ask;
1. Was Mama ever screened for coronary heart disease when she was alive?

2. Was she on anti-platelet therapy when she was alive?

3. Even when she was brought into the emergency room were protocols to screen for/counter acute coronary syndrome ever implemented?

If the answer to ANY of these 3 questions is "NO", then please the man's wife should be left alone (in fact if I were her brother I would advise her to divorce that idiot. What manner of man will come Nairaland and start accusing his wife of such??)

Likewise, what doctor will tell a patient relative that "Cock and bull" story of excess salt being the cause of a seizure??

OP should have taken his Mum to a better hospital for specialist care.

And the doctor should invest his time and money in medical textbooks and current journals to improve patient care and reduce blaming others for his own shortcomings.

R.I.P. to the deceased, but doctor and OP should both learn from this experience to avoid future occurrences.

This is wickedness?!!! Omg