₦airaland Forum

perambulator:
I am not saying he has a right to demand sex or that she must give him sex, I am saying if she isnt a virgin he needs to run away just for the fact that she has the audacity to deny a man who wants to marry her sex when she has given it away freely to a man or men who clearly did not want to marry her. what is the prize worth waiting for marraige if it is something you have already given away cheaply? How is a man supposed to feel that he waited for marraige for something other(s) have chopped and cleaned mouth? it shows the mindset of a woman that will be a problem in a marraige.

Was it you in your other comment that said she should find someone who agrees to wait with her and now she found that person, you’re telling the person to run? Meaning you’re just typing words that you don’t even believe in.

As for marriage, has it occurred to you that other guys might have also come with the marriage angle? You weren’t there to know if they clearly did or did not want to marry her. You don’t know what was said and how it went down. The so called guys who “chopped and cleaned mouth” could have also pretended they wanted something serious. and she fell for it like you guys are obviously wishing she should this time. A marriage proposal is not marriage.

If he wants to set himself apart, he can commit.

And yes even if she changed her mind at a later time in her life to wait for marriage before further intimacy, she’s perfectly allowed to.
Because you had sex with someone doesn’t mean everyone else who comes along is entitled to it.

I keep repeating that but I don’t know what’s difficult to understand there.

EkehPraise:
Top of the morning dear Nairalanders..

I think I have found the girl of my dreams and she ticks all the boxes for me except that she has said our relationship should be a no sex relationship till marriage because we intend to settle down this year by God's grace.
So please if you have been in a no sex relationship kindly share tips on how to preserve it and be steadfast till we tie the knots.
Thank you.

I really need good advice because I want this to be my Bus-Stop.

yoy didn't tell us whether she is a virgin or not

Curious346:
lady sang no sex before marriage. Guy agreed .

After wedding , guy saw a tatto on his wife's VJ

lolzzzz..
The way some men are daft ehh..
Just leave their matter to the most high.

cococandy:
Just because a woman had sex with another man before you doesn’t mean she owes you sex.
You guys over value yourselves and what you’re entitled to. If she doesn’t want to have sex with you or she wants to wait, that’s perfectly within her prerogative. Nobody owes you her body.

IF after opening her legs like toll gate to several guyz she decides to celibate, well its her prerogative & right, buh whats fair is she stays single or she finds a partner that shares such mindset. however just as sis linda as very right to celibate we can't say jazzy is wrong for demanding for sex, from a non virgin.
what really brew men's entitlement in this case is collective experience, naija gurlz are very funny, they wana eat there cake n have it, don't be surprise that gurl insisting no sex till wedding is busy fvcking her bestie or next door guy offcamera.
whu knew when aunty linda ikeji was going to spend the night in one two bedroom flat @ lekki roundabout, whereas broda jazzy was waiting i refuse to be a mumu ijn

perambulator:
Like i said womwn should stop seeing sex as a prize or a tool of manipulation. if you have given it out freely dont even try to tell any man to wait for marraige. Only a weak man will accept such conditions and You are actually creating problems for yourself because when his head clears, the man will eventually resent you.

For the umpteenth time, because someone had sex with someone before you doesn’t mean they owe it to you as well.

As for your nonsense about treating women like Human beings, well if you respect yourself as a woman, you will get respect from men.

I was expecting this line verbatim.
You guys are so lost in the sauce of toxic misogyny to the point that any woman who doesn’t serve a sexual purpose is not valuable. It’s disgusting honestly. You won’t respect a woman because she decided to engage in sexual pleasure for herself that didn’t serve you personally. Imagine if your own respect as a man is tied to your peniss? That’s the dysfunctional world you’ve created with the illogical sexual double standards

If sex is that valuable to you then dont give it out freely and if you have dont use it as a bargaining tool because that is adding insult to injury.

It her body. She can give it to whom and when she chooses. It’s not bargaining or manipulation. It’s literally her body.

cococandy:
Was it you in your other comment that said she should find someone who agrees to wait with her and now she found that person, you’re telling the person to run? Meaning you’re just typing words that you don’t even believe in.

As for marriage, has it occurred to you that other guys might have also come with the marriage angle? You weren’t there to know if they clearly did or did not want to marry her. You don’t know what was said and how it went down. The so called guys who “chopped and cleaned mouth” could have also pretended they wanted something serious. and she fell for it like you guys are obviously wishing she should this time. A marriage proposal is not marriage.

If he wants to set himself apart, he can commit.

And yes even if she changed her mind at a later time in her life to wait for marriage before further intimacy, she’s perfectly allowed to.
Because you had sex with someone doesn’t mean everyone else who comes along is entitled to it.

I keep repeating that but I don’t know what’s difficult to understand there.

Firstly the guy is clearly a wimp. Only wimpish men ask advice on nairaland...real men know what to do. Secondly that section of my advice was in relation to if she isnt a virgin!! You clearly missed or ignored the part where i said if she is a virgin it is ok and that depends on him. Women who arent virgins who say no sex before marraige are the worst kind of women to marry. They are the ones trying to manipulate a weak man into marraige (yeah only weak men fall for it). That is a clear red flag that she will be manipulating you throughout your marraige.

No Sex Before Marriage is good ( infact, it's great ) if you both can endure and stay true to each other.

I've seen many instances were either spouse goes out of the way to find sex while wearing the 'No Sex Before Marriage' placard, and that's were the problem lies because if you can't stand by a code, there's no sense making another stand by it; that's absolute deception!

Op, i'll advice that you both run a medical checkup so as to be sure that you two are at least ok medically because both genders hide a lot these days with those 'No Sex Before Marriage' line.

Sex is over hyped tbh
Practice celibacy!

cococandy:
For the umpteenth time, because someone had sex with someone before you doesn’t mean they owe it to you as well.

.

for the umpteenth time I never said A woman owes a man sex you dont seem to get it. I have never said a woman owes a man sex. i challenge you to bring out the post where I said so.


What i said is women who arent virgins who say such things tend to be manipulative women and a man would do well to run away....not because she denies a man sex but because of what that statement says about that woman's mindset.

I have never said a woman owes a man sex and can never say so.

cococandy:
Just because a woman had sex with another man before you doesn’t mean she owes you sex.
You guys over value yourselves and what you’re entitled to. If she doesn’t want to have sex with you or she wants to wait, that’s perfectly within her prerogative. Nobody owes you her body.

@cococandy - You are right that the lady does not owe the guy her body. But please note Likewise - the guy does not owe the lady any commitment either.

OP, if you are wise, feel free to find another lady who is willing to give you sex while you give commitment.

And stop trying to be committed to a lady who will not give you her body willingly (which is what you want) because that is a bad deal. i.e. She is getting something from the contract you are about to sign and you are getting nothing! She does not deserve your commitment either.

Please can you explain why you said he shouldn't do it for her? I'm in a similar situation and my man has agreed not to do it because of me. Can this pose a problem?

Romanoff:
I'll advise you to repent and give your life to Christ. Ask God to reveal this woman to you. Allow God to lead you.

Any secret she's hiding, if you have a relationship with God, God will reveal it to you.

It takes the grace of God, discipline and commitment to avoid fornication.

Don't do it because of her, do it because of you and your soul.

perambulator:
Firstly the guy is clearly a wimp. Only wimpish men ask advice on nairaland...real men know what to do. Secondly that section of my advice was in relation to if she isnt a virgin!! You clearly missed or ignored the part where i said if she is a virgin it is ok and that depends on him. Women who arent virgins who say no sex before marraige are the worst kind of women to marry. They are the ones trying to manipulate a weak man into marraige (yeah only weak men fall for it). That is a clear red flag that she will be manipulating you throughout your marraige.

I don’t know what part of my post made you think I missed or ignored the non-virgin part. I CLEARLY said, a woman who isn’t a virgin can decide to not have sex before marriage. It’s her right to do with her body as she pleases. Because she had sex before doesn’t mean she owes the next guy/s sex.
There’s nothing red flaggy about it.

The only reason that this is an issue of discussion is because majority of men are raised with a mindset of entitlement to women’s bodies. it’s very difficult for them to wrap their minds around the fact that she can say yes to someone else and no to them.

They may accept the virgin saying no to them (that’s when they even accept) because to them it doesn’t make them look like their game is weak since she said no to everyone. But the fact that this non-virgin is selective of who and when she mates with angers men. It shows the problem is them and not her.

It would actually be a problem if she said yes to everyone. But they don’t see it that way. Just focused on the part that they are the one/s who get a no. It’s an ego trip if anything.

I don't know why I have this feeling that you are about to be scammed

perambulator:
for the umpteenth time I never said A woman owes a man sex you dont seem to get it. I have never said a woman owes a man sex. i challenge you to bring out the post where I said so.


What i said is women who arent virgins who say such things tend to be manipulative women and a man would do well to run away....not because she denies a man sex but because of what that statement says about that woman's mindset.

I have never said a woman owes a man sex and can never say so.

You said a woman who isn’t a virgin shouldn’t say no sex before marriage. Tell me how else you want to phrase it to mean that she owes the man sex?
Because it seems you don’t understand what you’re saying

data1980:
@cococandy - You are right that the lady does not owe the guy her body. But please note Likewise - the guy does not owe the lady any commitment either.

OP, if you are wise, feel free to find another lady who is willing to give you sex while you give commitment.

And stop trying to be committed to a lady who will not give you her body willingly (which is what you want) because that is a bad deal. i.e. She is getting something from the contract you are about to sign and you are getting nothing! She does not deserve your commitment either.

Yes he doesn’t owe her commitment.

But if her conditions are that he should commit before the mating, and he’s hell bent on being with her, then he had to meet her conditions.
It’s that simple

Don't worry, calm down, relax, she'll still give it to you soon.

Just be you, and don't force it.

Plus, if you truly love her and she feels same way, waiting isn't that hard. Sex is just a fractional part of healthy relationship.

cococandy:
I don’t know what part of my post made you think I missed or ignored the non-virgin part. I CLEARLY said, a woman who isn’t a virgin can decide to not have sex before marriage. It’s her right to do with her body as she pleases. Because she had sex before doesn’t mean she owes the next guy/s sex.
There’s nothing red flaggy about it.

The only reason that this is an issue of discussion is because majority of men are raise with a mindset of entitlement to women’s bodies. it’s very difficult for them to wrap their minds around the fact that she can say yes to someone else and no to them.

They may accept the virgin saying no to them (that’s when they even accept) because to them it doesn’t make them look like their game is weak since she said no to everyone. But the fact that this non-virgin is selective of who and when she mates with angers men. It shows the problem is them and not her.

It would actually be a problem if she said yes to everyone. But they don’t see it that way. Just focused on the part that they are the one/s who get a no. It’s an ego trip if anything.

My friend you are wthe one who has got it twisted, you think you can screw around and then find one mugu like the Op to manipulate into marraige by forming no sex before marraige. How do i know he is a mugu? because no woman ticks all boxes!!!!!! the only reason he thinks she ticks all boxes is he hasnt had sex with her and probably doesnt have much experience with women. When youve had sex with a woman then you think straight about your relationship with her. IMHO, She knows it and she is using it as leverage. i can bet she is not a virgin!!!!

Women are free to do what they want with their bodies but men are free to say we wont marry this type of woman. In life their is freedom of choice and we will pay pay the cost of the choices we make.... I hope we can at least agree on that because that is all I have to say on the matter.

Op! When u find her calm and cool headed at any point, kindly ask her about past relationship, what really went wrong that didn't make things work out with her ex. Try to hear more about her past, be a bit persuasive and interested like a counsellor. I bet u will unlock the issue behind no sex before marriage. For me she's hurt and broken, she need your trust and it starts with no sex. The day she finally accept you as the love of her life is the day u will eat that coocky, marriage or no marriage.

cococandy:
You said a woman who isn’t a virgin shouldn’t say no sex before marriage. Tell me how else you want to phrase it to mean that she owes the man sex?
Because it seems you don’t understand what you’re saying

I never said so....show me the quote. I am responsible for what i say not how you interprete it because of your bias

You have no leg to stand on is not the same as a woman who isnt a virgin owes a man sex. i said when a woman who isnt a virgin says that, run away....I said it many times not because of the sex but because it reveals a lot about the woman's mindset.

A woman who has had sex is getting sex somewhere, women like sex too!!! So if you plan to marry and she knows you plan to marry her and she isnt having sex with you, you can bet 90% of the time she is fucking someone else and forming good girl with you. thats why you need to run!!!

My comment was "run away" not "she owes you sex"

OperationSayNoToSimps!!!

Brother, don’t make the same mistake other simps have made;

1. If you think you are the only one dating her, you are wrong; it’s just ur turn, no dull am
2. If you think she no dey collect am elsewhere, you are wrong …… besides is she a virgin?
D girl wey u dey preserve till after marriage, other sabi guys dey scatter her Toto steady steady
3. If u don fall in love, no qualms; if she insist on no sex; u too insist on no billing whatsoever no matter how small it is, don’t give her a dime #OperationNoSex=NoBilling!

Romanoff:
I'll advise you to repent and give your life to Christ. Ask God to reveal this woman to you. Allow God to lead you.

Any secret she's hiding, if you have a relationship with God, God will reveal it to you.

It takes the grace of God, discipline and commitment to avoid fornication.

Don't do it because of her, do it because of you and your soul.

God bless you, there I hope. God still have reminants.

Romanoff:
I'll advise you to repent and give your life to Christ. Ask God to reveal this woman to you. Allow God to lead you.

Any secret she's hiding, if you have a relationship with God, God will reveal it to you.

It takes the grace of God, discipline and commitment to avoid fornication.

Don't do it because of her, do it because of you and your soul.

Cool

EkehPraise:
Top of the morning dear Nairalanders..

I think I have found the girl of my dreams and she ticks all the boxes for me except that she has said our relationship should be a no sex relationship till marriage because we intend to settle down this year by God's grace.
So please if you have been in a no sex relationship kindly share tips on how to preserve it and be steadfast till we tie the knots.
Thank you.

I really need good advice because I want this to be my Bus-Stop.

If you are a child of God who live by the word of God, practically, This wouldn't be a problem.

This is only a problem, if you are not sold out to God and you want to live like the world.

First, repent and be determined to live for God alone, you'll walk in the spirit, which would make you not fulfill the desires of the flesh, like fornication .

Run

That is not a problem at all. No sex with her before marriage does not mean you cannot have sex with someone else before marriage. The agreement is between two of you and not you and someone else.

Tip 1: Make sure she’s a Virgin
Tip 2: If she is not a Virgin make sure she’s not getting it elsewhere
Tip 3: If you must get laid make sure she doesn’t find out
Tip 4: Rinse and repeat all tips until y’all get married

No sex till marriage na scam.. she go dey knack somewhere.

Run for your life.. Na community puuusssy dey use that format. Be warned

EkehPraise:
Top of the morning dear Nairalanders..

I think I have found the girl of my dreams and she ticks all the boxes for me except that she has said our relationship should be a no sex relationship till marriage because we intend to settle down this year by God's grace.
So please if you have been in a no sex relationship kindly share tips on how to preserve it and be steadfast till we tie the knots.
Thank you.

I really need good advice because I want this to be my Bus-Stop.

cococandy:
Yes he doesn’t owe her commitment.

But if her conditions are that he should commit before the mating, and he’s hell bent on being with her, then he had to meet her conditions.
It’s that simple

i just saw this post. but it's not that simple when a man can have his own conditions? You and those women who talk like you are full of shit and I can tell you for free, you are the ones that end up as baby mamas and divorcees......assuming you even find someone to marry. its people like you that think you can just behave anyhow, "change your mind" as you said in a previous post and expect people to "accept you as you are"! life doesnt work like that, there are consequences for bad relationship decisions especially as a woman in our society....like it or not!!! I suggest you listen to some of the sensible women in this thread and reprogramme your brain except you want to a marry poor quality man. No man worth his salt will put up with a woman who isnt a virgin telling him no sex before marraige!!!! To the point where if it were my own sister in this situation and her fiancee accepted, I would tell her not to marry him because it is a red flag for a man.

She said no s*x so that she can have time to enjoy her present boyfriend before the will finally settle down with you.

When did you meet her

Is she a virgin

How old is her

Have you met her parents

Are you medically, physically, emotionally, tribally, spiritually compatible

Have you seen her naked body

Many things

Only you can decide

The above are the tips you require