Mercychen:


Marriage these days is full of selfishness. No body cares about the other person so long as they are satisfied and ok.
S
Where now is the love we prophess for each other.
Na wa o.

The door revolves both ways. The woman as of right now, is partly to blame for what happened.
There was no way the man would have won in this situation.

chikasnight:
the Ladies here are just criticising this man
Why do you have to hit her
Why do you have this that...
Without out even looking at the action that led to the reaction
I mean being out there for your family struggling making sacrifices, taking risks for your family every day just to come home and be sex starved for a long time
The both of them are wrong and corrections should be done on the both sides

Ding Ding DIng.

Finally! Someone with some sense. There is no bullet without the gun. There is no smoke without fire.

Masturbate or get side chick to cure the konji very simple since she decided to deny you ur conjugle right. Sex is no 1 in marriage. She doesn't v any right to deny u sex for long even if u guys r having issues . But u made a mistake by beating and rapin her . Continue showing remorse , she will forgive you

dogmart:


Don't be quick to conclude he didn't marry a good woman, or that he married a pretender. A whole lot happens in marriage you won't easily understand.
For many women, libido drops as soon as childbearing and child rearing sets in(Coupled with work stress)
Hormones start doing "shegeshege" (up and down).

For some of them it is a bit of laziness though, plus the lack of realization of the fact that sex is a duty they have to ensure they try to perform, just as they tend to the kids in the home.
The man on the other hand is never on break. He wants what he wants. He might
be understanding and patient, but his body will still demand release from him. All these coupled with the fact that this generation abhores polygamy, the game is bound to be a messy one filled with these kinds of troubles.

To be Candid and factual, 8 out of every 10 marriages out there are having sex related issues of varying types. Summary is there is zero to low action in the other room.

I am 8years in marriage now . I went through this same trouble. Without exaggerating, I Believe mine was much worse than OP's. Since I can vividly recollect the sex that led to my kids. As in I know the day, the spot we had it, the time we had it etc (it was that infrequent.)
It was once in 5-6 months on the average. And my wife is drop dead beautiful. (Believe me)

Things only got better recently after I almost made real my plan to marry another woman. Since I am totally against jumping from woman to woman. And whoever would be my sex mate must be my wife.
Only then was when the brain reset happened. And she miraculously changed.

Well, kudos to the monogamy advocates. Embrace all the divorce and troubles that comes with it.

You wanted to marry a second wife and she changed, this shows she knew what she was doing all along.


Everybody gets angry and capable of mischief but many comport themselves when they know there will be consequences.

Noah9:
Good morning nairalanders. Pls I'll go straight to point.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, God has blessed our matrimony with a beautiful daughter. My wife is so decent, caring and beautiful inside out. I have been a great husband and father to my pretty daughter. I have never cheated on my wife since we got married.

Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it.

Last week Wednesday, I committed an unspeakable abuse, I'm so ashamed of myself. I Raped my wife and I hate myself since that incident.

Honestly, I don't know what came over me that particular day, I tried to make advances towards her, she refused and she pushed my hand away. Out of anger I slapped her on her face (she bled from her mouth), I overpowered her and forcefully had my way through. She cried all through that night.

I regretted my actions, I feel remorse, I hate my Life . I have begged her seriously to forgive me but she haven't said a word to me for over 5 days now. She cook for just herself and my daughter, she no longer sleep in our matrimonial bed, she would rather sleep in my daughter's room or the visitor's room, she no longer greets me anymore.

I have never abused, beat or raised my hands on my wife or any woman before. Last week was my first time I did such an abominable act in my Life . What If any one notice we're having issues now, how will I explain to them what actually happened?

I don't even want my little daughter to know we're having issues. I don't know who to talk to. It's a faceless forum that's why I'm sharing my pain here . Pls how do I restore back happiness in my home, I need my wife to forgive me. I'm truly sorry from the depth of my heart and I promise it will never happen again.

Please Help Me.

you didnt act like a man.
Beg her to forgive you, thats all.
Just beg for forgiveness.
But next time you ask her for sex and she refuse,,
You too man up, and withdrew all form of being romantic to her.
But dress hot, smell good, and give her space...
Then at night, sleep seperately from here, dont sleep on the same bed...
Its what i ve tried tested and proven.
It works like magic.
Whenever i opt in for sex, and she says no.
I began to dress my cutest, and put on my best...
And at night i leave the bed for her, i ll go into the parlour,
it took only two days, the third day, she came to lie with me in the parlour, and i was the one asking her, what happened?
The rest is history..

AntiMCU:
Seems like marriages these days is synonymous with sexual starvation.

At least, our forefathers had polygamy (options) for issues like this.

That's the answer staring at us. But I guess we too woke to see it. If I'm going to marry at all I must marry 4. I'd say 3 butit wouldn't be fair asobe will be a victim of other two but four, they will take theirselves 2, 2. And yeah, I'm bold enough to tell any girl I'm dating.

No, on top say him beat her join, that my dear is bullshit

jornwhite:




On top say he sleep with in wife why is their so much bullshit in the 21st century.

Omoluabiii:


you didnt act like a man.
Beg her to forgive you, thats all.
Just beg for forgiveness.
But next time you ask her for sex and she refuse,,
You too man up, and withdrew all form of being romantic to her.
But dress hot, smell good, and give her space...
Then at night, sleep seperately from here, dont sleep on the same bed...
Its what i ve tried tested and proven.
It works like magic.
Whenever i opt in for sex, and she says no.
I began to dress my cutest, and put on my best...
And at night i leave the bed for her, i ll go into the parlour,
it took only two days, the third day, she came to lie with me in the parlour, and i was the one asking her, what happened?
The rest is history..

This will only work when you are just newly married or in the honeymoon phase. After 15 years of marriage with added responsibility of multiple children, work or career pressures, increasing stress levels and extended family wahala, believe me you won't have the time or energy for such shenanigans.

The basic issue is understanding each other's needs and making attempts to fulfil them.

Elinosweet143:
No, on top say him beat her join, that my dear is bullshit

Yes it's Bullshit. But it is what it is.
If wicked "Konji" hits a man, he can do anything.Testosterone is an aggression hormone. Too much stored up in the blood stream is a bad thing.

safarigirl:


At no point did I insult you

I said you sound like a child. That is a statement of FACT. I said your idea of marriage is laughable, that is ALSO a statement of fact.

You are clearly an emotional person, that is why you have assumed you were insulted. When you are ready to talk like an adult and bring up arguments that can come from an adult, I will address you as an adult.

Until then, stay away from marriage. It really is not a must to marry and marriage is not for children.

U are the one that actually sounds like a child and not him...apply sense

For those of us living in diaspora even if Ghana.
The golden rule is NEVER EVER FORCE YOURSELF ON A WOMAN ESPECIALLY YOUR WIFE. YOU WILL ROT IN JAIL.
They have laws that work.
Nigeria don't.

safarigirl:


LOL

Are you a child?

There are times when sex will not be on the table, there are times when sex will be an option. If your wife is pregnant, there are periods she will medically be unable to have sex

Why will sex not be on the table? Except there is a terminal disease like cancer, I don't understand why sex would not be on the table in a marriage.

Yes there are times when sex would not be an option, but a reason why it's not an option at a particular instance must be given and duscussed with the husband. She may be seeing her period, she may be ill, she may be too tired or stressed. But to deny your husband sex for months without reason is cruel and insensitive.

Obviously you have never been pregnant. There is no period during the pregnancy that a woman is medically unable to have sex. In fact her sexual appetite doubles after the first trimester. This is due to raging hormones acting up. A woman can have sex a day before giving birth.

Marriage is for many many years, decades, and even a nymphomaniac will one day, not be in the mood for sex, so, what is this childish talk about marrying someone else?

That's why I emphasize sexual compatibility before marriage. Marriage between sexually incompatible couples will not last many years before you talk of decades.

Some of you just come here to talk like kids. Your idea of marriage is laughable.

So what's your own ideas of marriage? What are the roles and obligations of each partner im a marriage? Are you married?

descarado:
For those of us living in diaspora even if Ghana.
The golden rule is NEVER EVER FORCE YOURSELF ON A WOMAN ESPECIALLY YOUR WIFE. YOU WILL ROT IN JAIL.
They have laws that work.
Nigeria don't.

Ghana is just trying to copy western values and system. If your wife can deny you sex ad infinitum, then you can also deny her affection, protection, security and comfort. What about the children? Who will provide for the children?

Even though I am a strong advocate for protection of women and children, the western world has taken it too far, by emasculating men in general. A man can't marry 2 wives, you can't commit adultery, you must provide for your wife, you must share your properties with your wife (she is not obligated to share hers), but she can refuse you sex at her discretion.

Anyway in Ghana, I hear it's the woman that pays dowry.

Mercychen:


Marriage these days is full of selfishness. No body cares about the other person so long as they are satisfied and ok.
S
Where now is the love we prophess for each other.
Na wa o.

You’re writing rubbish
For men to get married they have to bring in so much for the relationship to exist in the first place
No such thing as love exists if the guy involved isn’t useful or brings anything tangible
It’s most of today’s women that are very selfish
It’s mostly husbands that pay house bills and school fees

wirinet:

you must share your properties with your wife (she is not obligated to share hers

No it generally works both ways, thats why you have prenuptial agreements.

Digmygold:


And when the 2nd wife too refuses, you will get a 3rd and then a 4th. The vicious cycle then keeps going on until you catch HIV. Una no just get sense at all.

U think and talk like a child...or u are outrightly biased

Elinosweet143:
No, on top say him beat her join, that my dear is bullshit

He slapped her, he was wrong buh maybe she needs the slap for a reset ... bullshit is when a woman does shakara pre marriage and stil continue to do shakara post marriage, bullshiti is when a man have to fast & pray before he can see his wife pant.

DeepSight:


No it generally works both ways, thats why you have prenuptial agreements.

That's when prenuptial exist in the first place. Most marriages by couples smitten by the love bug don't even know what prenuptial means.
It's after being stung by a selfish partner that they insist subsequent marriages must come with prenuptials. Or if one party is from a wealthy home and the parents insisting on prenuptial to protect family fortune.

Digmygold:



If you ever slept with any woman outside wedlock then your daughters will be raped and raped outside and in wedlock. Thats if they ever get married because I.am sure they are just as ugly as you are inside and outside. Heartless dumb ass.

Lol so you think its okay for them to get raped by their husbands? Then they are getting married to.lunatics and beasts like their dumb
and horrible sperm donor, useless father.

If his daughter is raped, who do u think it will affect most, him or the daughter? U actually want a fellow woman like to to get raped just for u to feel good that it will affect him as a man, not considering how it will affect the main victim who is a woman....u see y I said u dont hv sense...

[quote author=Babastrong post=109317552][/quote]

U dont hv to lay curses on that fool...just free her, she knows nothing about what she's doing... na mumu she b

wirinet:

That's when prenuptial exist in the first place. Most marriages by couples smitten by the love bug don't even know what prenuptial means.
It's after being stung by a selfish partner that they insist subsequent marriages must come with prenuptials. Or if one party is from a wealthy home and the parents insisting on prenuptial to protect family fortune.

I’m getting my partner to sign a prenup.

wisemum:
I read this and wondered what I would do if any man does this to my daughter? I went down on my knees and prayed that this kind of man will never cross my daughters pathway. So if your wife wants sex and you have been having a hard time in the office, she should climb on you one day, and just force her way through? Unfortunately, women cannot do that for 2 reasons. The organ of the man will not achieve anything for her if he doesn't want to have sex or is tired, so be it. And the strength of the man will overpower her. You have done wrong. And you have crossed the boundary line. It will certainly happen again since you have crossed the line.

If I were the poor girl, whatever love i had for you has gone out of the window. Sex can never be a loving act again This marriage is definitely on its way out. It may take 3 years, it may take 10 years. But it will eventually break. Mark my words. And you have yourself to blame.

The bolded is the pure fact.

It's just a matter of time the marriage ends (that time may even be 20 years and after more children), it's only by divine intervention the marriage will heal.


What I really can't fathom is why the violence,

Is it that the character had been in the OP but perfectly hidden and a little pressure and bam its out.

If he can rape his wife then he can rape any random girl out there.

lookingfly:
same with a woman that cheats, she can use otapiapia on your fried rice.

totally agreed.

Kingcalls:


If his daughter is raped, who do u think it will affect most, him or the daughter? U actually want a fellow woman like to to get raped just for u to feel good that it will affect him as a man, not considering how it will affect the main victim who is a woman....u see y I said u dont hv sense...

You wey get sense if you followed well you for see say even the fool himself prays for his own daughters to get raped. Go back and check well. Afterwards go and pick your empty brain from the gutter where you dropped it.

Kingcalls:


U think and talk like a child...or u are outrightly biased

Same to you.

lookingfly:
so she's exhausted for the whole month....... You don't have a brain, these are thought from the kidney. And if the man tries to reciprocate this gestures, she threatens to go out with other dude or bring dude to their matrimonial home...... Sometimes I no o blame 2baba, wizzy and Davido sef.

STFU. Bloody liar and pervert.

wirinet:

Why will sex not be on the table? Except there is a terminal disease like cancer, I don't understand why sex would not be on the table in a marriage.

Haba, marriage being a lifelong affair, there is bound to be "downtime" for either or both parties quite naturally.

Yes there are times when sex would not be an option, but a reason why it's not an option at a particular instance must be given and duscussed with the husband. She may be seeing her period, she may be ill, she may be too tired or stressed. But to deny your husband sex for months without reason is cruel and insensitive.

This sounds way too rigid and mechanical for the nuances of sexx as I understand them to be - complete with all the "human" nature and mood swings which may be attendant thereto. The bold in the above, in particular, make it sound like you expect a wife to write a formal application for "leave" from sexxual duties, which must be presented with justifications and defended before a panel of inquiry.

A woman can have sex a day before giving birth.

Kai, so you are among those who are okay with the practice of banging the head of an unborn child with your prick.
Yuck.

So what's your own ideas of marriage? What are the roles and obligations of each partner im a marriage? Are you married?

I dont know but it almost comes across as though you are designating the woman as a sexxual slave. I personally dont believe in "conjugal rights" as they are expressed in this context. There is too much nuance in sexxual matters for such a mechanical approach - and with that approach you reduce something that should be a natural chemical response to one another to a mere duty and physical chore. As far as I am concerned, even (and probably especially) within a marriage, the sexxual relations of the parties should be approached with as much gentle coaxing and seduction as was deployed prior to marriage. If not more.

wirinet:

That's when prenuptial exist in the first place. Most marriages by couples smitten by the love bug don't even know what prenuptial means.
It's after being stung by a selfish partner that they insist subsequent marriages must come with prenuptials. Or if one party is from a wealthy home and the parents insisting on prenuptial to protect family fortune.

What I was trying to say is that you are wrong to say that the laws in the west compel a man to share his property while a woman is not so compelled. That exists for both parties. People with a prenup are better protected as they can share as per the prenup.

obowunmi:


I’m getting my partner to sign a prenup.

Thats the path of wisdom, even for a couple in love. Because the future is simply unknown and even feelings change and evolve into something unrecognizable.

[quote author=Kingcalls post=109327988]

U dont hv to lay curses on that fool...just free her, she knows nothing about what she's doing... na mumu she b[ Thanks, i really appreciate]

Bouncing2:

Marriage is sweet??!!

Guy e sweet oo.
It depends on how you spice it sha.

Is life not sweet??
The main thing is acceptance,and being deliberate.
Being intentional with the reality that once you make the decision as a man to marry,and more so become a father,there are somethings that you must sacrifice,there are somethings you can do and some you can't do.
It's a new life experience that you decided to choose.
When a real man decides to do something he does it well,so do everything possible to be at your best and do everything right to ensure your marriage works.
If you marry woman wey ready to be wife ehnn you go know se marriage sweet
Forget the few stormy moments all na process of the sweetner ��

I know women can be a handful, what he wants now is to get his home back in order, after her head don calm down then they can talk things through and knw why and where the problem is from that's my opinion, for any successful marriage one of the spouse must act the fool at some point

jornwhite:



He slapped her, he was wrong buh maybe she needs the slap for a reset ... bullshit is when a woman does shakara pre marriage and stil continue to do shakara post marriage, bullshiti is when a man have to fast & pray before he can see his wife pant.