₦airaland Forum

Michelle55:
Comrade calm down biko, don't spoil my innocent mind.

Steep:
@ op atleast there is a man showing interest, you a Christian? If you are, commit your worries into God's hands, tell him to reveal if this man will be good for you. Don't push him away!

pocohantas:
But then, if you are convinced you are awesome and it is the men with a problem, you just have to sit back and relax. Make peace with the fact that you are not the woman they want, just as many men didn’t scale through your own selection process too.

Someday you will meet the one that wants you and you want him too.

pocohantas:
No I am not wrong. My response to you was to pray for the spirit of discernment, you left that one and jumped on a post to another person. I guess that is how you care too much. Anyway, I stand by my post, but since you want to make that post about you, I will take out time to address one of your posts. I don’t know anyone that has been severely dumped because they are too caring. You mean, 1,2,3,4 all left you because you CARE TOO MUCH? Interesting

Who are these people telling you, you care too much? What exactly is care too much? Lol

So these people highlighting your good quality, care to share why none of them decided to step in and marry you? Why they haven’t introduced you to their male friends? Put in a good word for you?

Are they your EXes?

Only an EX can genuinely tell you why they picked someone else over you. Ask you EXes why they left you, there must be one thing that would be a constant and I am sure that thing wouldn’t be caring too much, at least not in a positive way.

Care too much? Pfffttt!

I honestly do not care if you ignore me. You are not the one fcking or doing giveaway for me.

kayperry:
Eeyah! seems like a perfect introduction for those yet to meet you a whole poco wrong ke world wil rather end aunty i know mfm hotlines

sandra50:
Most times I read about men complaining about their cheating wives and girlfriends and I will be wondering how that happens..so all my life I have been at the receiving end..yes I have turned down about 3 marriage proposals from very well to do men..2 are older than my father so I rejected when they came..one that is just about 8 years older than me was just acting like my boss..he has houses and cars all over Nigeria so for that I should take what ever he throws at me including carrying different girls so I left..now to what I have endured..wasted many years with a guy and he left me to marry someone else because of state..this other came and I waited for him then his demon started,started telling me of how he wanted to marry a wild person that can fight his sister and mother because he was having issues with them..now ikechukwu that I thought was different,didn't give me any issue for the 7 months that I waited for you when it was just 2 days for to came back for us to get married as you suggested you disappeared without a word..Oga I turned down a childhood friend that came back because I couldn't disappoint you..I am too faithful and that needs to change..why wouldn't my conceince allow me cheat,isn't that what most people do these days?no conceince,no principles,no morals..nothing..the one he wanted a wild lady for a wife came back and started saying how sorry he is,how he has gone round and I'm the best,how he boasts to his friends about me and all that I represented in his life..ikechukwu I told you this,I sent you the audio and assured you that I can never leave you and go back to him because you haven't offended me in any way..you gave me peace..I'm 36 now and one would think it's because of bad character that I'm still single but like they always tell me,good people aren't always lucky when it comes to relationship..I just wish I can reach you just one more time so I can tell you a big thank you for what you did to me..you only taught me one thing,that being faithful to one man doesn't pay...if you can see this ikechukwu..thank you very much.

sandra50:
Madam my life is perfect just rest..only an ex can tell why they left and who told me the ones I wrote here?I told myself right?if you must know they all still speak to me..there is nowhere I will beg to go for me within their states that they wouldn't go..does it sound like I'm the one at fault or they are trying to please me so the fault they feel can stop?we need to see you in person and know how perfect your life is in real life not just acting like you have got everything going well for you on a faceless forum.

pocohantas:
My life is not perfect, I always say it that I have a bad character and I too stubborn. I own it with my full chest . I also said it that I am a premium evening newspaper. I have never been one to pride myself as a virtuous or wife material. You are how old? 30+? I am over 40. So you are even learning work in singlehood. This is not a matter of perfection, it is just realism.

You are the most caring woman in the world and Nigerian men just can’t see this. Yeaaaaa, Men are scum…

sandra50:
No Nigerian men are seeing it,I only want to marry someone that I love..I said it that most people act like they are perfect but when you hear their own story you will know that you are even better..you are 40+ but you are here being judgemental.

pocohantas:
Lol. You and innocence in the same sentence? Continue disguising and whining yourself.

Poco, we both know that I'm innocent.
Almost everyone who knows me can testify to that, I don't know why you're trying to dent my innocence

pocohantas:
I can’t remember judging you, I gave an illustration to someone else on why I think nice people are overhyped. If you chose to buy the market, best believe I won’t stop you.

pocohantas:
I can’t remember judging you, I gave an illustration to someone else on why I think nice people are overhyped. If you chose to buy the market, best believe I won’t stop you.

Ishilove:
Pocohantas and sandra50, the heat between you two can boil yam

pocohantas:
I’ll give you an illustration;

I had this colleague, very religious, supportive and emotional. She was dating this other colleague and every time they had issues- the unit bore the brunt. We couldn’t understand why the guy was taking time to wife such a beautiful thing.

Then one day she had to stay at my place. In her time with me, I was faced with the laziest and nastiest being I have ever come across. This lady would tie her used menstrual pads and keep them in a corner, waiting for when she had time to burn them. She doesn’t take off her makeup and wig until midnight when the other party is almost dozing off. Her cooking was nothing to write home about. If you even say make you do small pre-intimacy, you would be met with layers of girdle, very tight bra and thick undershorts. You can't differentiate between the clothes she has worn and the neat ones. I had to sit her down for a talk.

2) I have also met nice guys that had various flaws from hygiene, to pettiness, to inconsistency, stinginess… etc

No one passes on a good thing over and over. If multiple women and men keep leaving you to marry someone else, someone you have deluded yourself is even below you, then you might need to return to the drawing board. Every failed relationship or marriage is a call for self-reflection.

The bad thing about supposedly nice people is, they already believe they are one of the best out there. They think we are the ones that are privileged to have them. They think you can never find someone else like them. So they rarely change or restrategize, they just sit there, ever ready to tell you how people do not deserve/appreciate their kind.

Michelle55:
Those two should be siblings. None of them wants to give up easily

Ishilove:
Pocohantas and
, the heat between you two can boil yam

pocohantas:
I’ll give you an illustration;

I had this colleague, very religious, supportive and emotional. She was dating this other colleague and every time they had issues- the unit bore the brunt. We couldn’t understand why the guy was taking time to wife such a beautiful thing.

Then one day she had to stay at my place. In her time with me, I was faced with the laziest and nastiest being I have ever come across. This lady would tie her used menstrual pads and keep them in a corner, waiting for when she had time to burn them. She doesn’t take off her makeup and wig until midnight when the other party is almost dozing off. Her cooking was nothing to write home about. If you even say make you do small pre-intimacy, you would be met with layers of girdle, very tight bra and thick undershorts. You can't differentiate between the clothes she has worn and the neat ones. I had to sit her down for a talk.

2) I have also met nice guys that had various flaws from hygiene, to pettiness, to inconsistency, stinginess… etc

No one passes on a good thing over and over. If multiple women and men keep leaving you to marry someone else, someone you have deluded yourself is even below you, then you might need to return to the drawing board. Every failed relationship or marriage is a call for self-reflection.

The bad thing about supposedly nice people is, they already believe they are one of the best out there. They think we are the ones that are privileged to have them. They think you can never find someone else like them. So they rarely change or restrategize, they just sit there, ever ready to tell you how people do not deserve/appreciate their kind.

Yusufisraelj:
This is wisdom

But I think OP has made mention of why she left them, which I think is viable.

pocohantas:
I’ll give you an illustration;

I had this colleague, very religious, supportive and emotional. She was dating this other colleague and every time they had issues- the unit bore the brunt. We couldn’t understand why the guy was taking time to wife such a beautiful thing.

Then one day she had to stay at my place. In her time with me, I was faced with the laziest and nastiest being I have ever come across. This lady would tie her used menstrual pads and keep them in a corner, waiting for when she had time to burn them. She doesn’t take off her makeup and wig until midnight when the other party is almost dozing off. Her cooking was nothing to write home about. If you even say make you do small pre-intimacy, you would be met with layers of girdle, very tight bra and thick undershorts. You can't differentiate between the clothes she has worn and the neat ones. I had to sit her down for a talk.

2) I have also met nice guys that had various flaws from hygiene, to pettiness, to inconsistency, stinginess… etc

No one passes on a good thing over and over. If multiple women and men keep leaving you to marry someone else, someone you have deluded yourself is even below you, then you might need to return to the drawing board. Every failed relationship or marriage is a call for self-reflection.

The bad thing about supposedly nice people is, they already believe they are one of the best out there. They think we are the ones that are privileged to have them. They think you can never find someone else like them. So they rarely change or restrategize, they just sit there, ever ready to tell you how people do not deserve/appreciate their kind.

Itistime1984:
U have huge foundational problems concerning marriage. There is an alter fighting you. Go to Omega fire ministries trust me I'm not a member but I believe on the Grace of God on that church concerning foundations. If u are in Benin then u are in luck because they are having all night every Friday for 3 months. Dem no dey force person but if u really need to get married u know what to do..I rest my case

sandra50:
(1) 2 are older than my father so I rejected when they came..one that is just about 8 years older than me was just acting like my boss..he has houses and cars all over Nigeria so for that I should take what ever he throws at me including carrying different girls so I left..

(2) Now to what I have endured..wasted many years with a guy and he left me to marry someone else because of state.

(3) This other came and I waited for him then his demon started,started telling me of how he wanted to marry a wild person that can fight his sister and mother because he was having issues with them..

(4) Now ikechukwu that I thought was different,didn't give me any issue for the 7 months that I waited for you when it was just 2 days for to came back for us to get married as you suggested you disappeared without a word..Oga I turned down a childhood friend that came back because I couldn't disappoint you..I am too faithful and that needs to change..why wouldn't my conceince allow me cheat,isn't that what most people do these days?no conceince,no principles,no morals..nothing..the one he wanted a wild lady for a wife came back and started saying how sorry he is,how he has gone round and I'm the best,how he boasts to his friends about me and all that I represented in his life..ikechukwu I told you this,I sent you the audio and assured you that I can never leave you and go back to him because you haven't offended me in any way..you gave me peace..

I'm 36 now and one would think it's because of bad character that I'm still single but like they always tell me,good people aren't always lucky when it comes to relationship..I just wish I can reach you just one more time so I can tell you a big thank you for what you did to me..you only taught me one thing,that being faithful to one man doesn't pay...if you can see this ikechukwu..thank you very much.

tosinhtml:
Okay, pardon me but let's just do some analysis here.

If my assumption is correct, it seems you were already 35 before ikechukwu met you as you spent only 7 months dating him, so in your early years from 20 to 35 which is 15 years in total, you made other wrong decisions. ikechukwu whom you only spent 7 months with shouldn't be blamed too much. You can't dump 15 years of mistake on ikechukwu. Please swallow your pride & call that childhood friend of yours to check up on him, people link up with their exes all the time.

The reality is that If you are looking for a solution to an issue at the late hour, social media & churches can fool you but above 35 struggle to get partners they really want. I hope you have made some good money within the time you were single, It makes no sense if you are older, broke & lonely simultaneously.

If you are good looking & willing to date down, you will surely find a man at 36, Nigerians are struggling & you will surely find a good looking man albiet below your financial status, that's me assuming you are very financially stable.

Dating multiple men can work but you might end up being used by all of them, best time to do this was in your early 20s. They call it hoe phase, where you can date about 5 guys at the same time & no issues. Not at 36 where every one has moved past that behaviour.

sandra50:
No thanks..I can't write all that he did here..

Karleb:
I know of an aunty that died late last year @50, no husband or child, in terms of beauty I'd rate her at least 6/10.

Raalsalghul:
Maybe she wasn't interested in marriage: just saying.

Stenewiser:
you turned down three marriage proposal sake of your ego, now you are contemplating cheating, my dear I see you washing church toilet everyday for a husband, some areas of life wouldn't have need prayer but we make it need prayer due to our carelessness.

sandra50:
Passes this your advice to someone else have I made momey so I can date a small boy that is broke so I can be giving him money..the small boy doesn't know how to give me money..oga don't worry..the mean reason I posted this is because of ikechukwu so stop talking about you are 36 like you wouldn't get to my age.do not bother about calling any body because if I was to date again I will start from the people that stop for me on the road..I do not date guys my age..younger or 2 years older and I have my reason..all you wrote makes no season to me.

Stenewiser:
the bossy guy how long did you know him, if not long(6months) were you expecting him to drop is lifestyle easily, you should've waited a little bit, if he changes significantly, then you accept his marriage proposal, this girls he was taking, have you confronted him on it before, your mind wasn't there at all, Maybe that's why you didn't even care to try something. if I'm to ask what was he doing with these girls, or were you just concluding to suit yourself.

tosinhtml:
Okay, pardon me but let's just do some analysis here.

If my assumption is correct, it seems you were already 35 before ikechukwu met you as you spent only 7 months dating him, so in your early years from 20 to 35 which is 15 years in total, you made other wrong decisions. ikechukwu whom you only spent 7 months with shouldn't be blamed too much. You can't dump 15 years of mistake on ikechukwu. Please swallow your pride & call that childhood friend of yours to check up on him, people link up with their exes all the time.

The reality is that If you are looking for a solution to an issue at the late hour, social media & churches can fool you but above 35 struggle to get partners they really want. I hope you have made some good money within the time you were single, It makes no sense if you are older, broke & lonely simultaneously.

If you are good looking & willing to date down, you will surely find a man at 36, Nigerians are struggling & you will surely find a good looking man albiet below your financial status, that's me assuming you are very financially stable.

Dating multiple men can work but you might end up being used by all of them, best time to do this was in your early 20s. They call it hoe phase, where you can date about 5 guys at the same time & no issues. Not at 36 where every one has moved past that behaviour.