Please I need advise from people with grown up kids.

Honestly, parenting is not easy. I don't even know what to do anymore.

My first son is 7 but he is kind of slow. However, he's above average in learning and he's learning at his pace. I understand all of this and I'm always happy to guide him.

But I don't know if I'm too hard or too soft on him because I use to talk to him a lot. I only beat him when he does something serious (like going against my rules, or not doing his homework when he should).

These days, whenever I scold him, he would give me a sad look and he might even shout saying: "I've heard you!" Then, he will be alone in a corner for some time.

Sometimes, I'd go close to him and tell him why I had to scold him and he'd say "I don't like it when you shout at me" I'd apologize and hug him (I don't even know if I'm spoiling him by apologizing). .

I don't know how to scold without putting a bit of action at least. Shey I'll be whispering and scolding ni? Sometimes, I'll leave him and pretend as if I didn't see him when he brings up such attitude.

Last week, he mistakenly brought back someone else's lunch box home because they look very much alike. I told him it's okay that it happens and I promised to write his name in bold when he brings back his box the next day to prevent such from happening again.

Could you believe that he came back with the other person's lunch box again? When I asked him, he said he didn't see his lunch box and the boy that took his own. Then I asked: Did you tell your class teacher? Are you sure you know the boy?

His reply: I didn't tell my teacher because I know the boy and I went to his class but he wasn't there.

So, I figured that he must have gone to check once and didn't bother to check again. And he didn't bother to also tell his class teacher.

So, I was very mad this time and told him not to bring someone else's property home again, no matter what!

I think he would have told his teacher if he really valued his property because he told me something that made me really mad the next morning.

"Mummy, or will you buy me another lunch box since we can't find mine?" Luckily for me, he was brushing his teeth then and I was bathing for his sister. The resounding slap I gave him on his back brought back his senses.

I don't know why he always want something new. He spoilt the lunch box I bought for him and his sister o and he's using another one now. That is, he wants me to buy a third one while his sister is still using the first one? How na?

I don't even know what to think. Why would he want a new box when he's barely used the new one?

Then, he's always talking about how his classmates use to bring different kinds of food ( he wasn't like this before o).

I try as much as possible to make different foods for him too, and he's stopped complaining.

We recently changed his school and his new school has quite a lot of pupils. I Don't know if that's affecting him.

Honestly, I'm bothered about the changes and I don't know how best to address it.

I've made him understand countless times that he should always be content with whatever he has and he shouldn't compare himself with anyone.

I just finished with another round of lecture now and he has tears in his eyes saying:

"Mummy, stop shouting at me. It makes me sad"

I was heartbroken and felt guilty seeing him like this and I did everything possible to make him see why I had to shout or scold.

Please how can I scold a child without shouting? Am I spoiling him? Can someone help with tips?
Honestly, I'm tired!

Isee kobojunkie peeping... Sure she got something to say


Lemme learn although idont pray for boy child!!!

Omoh!!! This matter pass me.

Lemme wait for mummies and daddies here to do the needful.

I have a cousin with exact behaviour as your son. I sha noticed, the Dad doesn't take nonsense from his boy. Everyday is back to back beating for the boy.

For your child to say you should stop shouting at him actually shows disrespect.

Correct that!

Omo,it's not easy to raise a child...
You're doing the right thing by apologizing and I DNT think you're spoiling him either ..

Just take it easy on him, I think he will come around later on.

No vex, where's his dad?
I want to believe you're trying your best, I don't think you're spoiling him. Just give him time he will outgrow this phase.

Karleb:
For your child to say you should stop shouting at him actually shows disrespect.
Correct that!

Wrong!

If your shouts are causing him anxieties, he has a right to let you know. You both then need to work on an arrangement that limits the Shouting and gives you both piece of mind.

Candidlady:
I see kobojunkie peeping... Sure she got something to say
Lemme learn although idont pray for boy child!!!

Lol.... raising kids no be always template. Na trial and error!

Animegirl:
Omoh!!! This matter pass me.

Lemme wait for mummies and daddies here to do the needful.

I have a cousin with exact behaviour as your son. I sha noticed, the Dad doesn't take nonsense from his boy. Everyday is back to back beating for the boy.

That sounds very cruel.

What of the dad?
Male children don't fear mothers naturally

Ahmed0336:
No vex, where's his dad?
I want to believe you're trying your best, I don't think you're spoiling him. Just give him time he will outgrow this phase.

I hope and pray so.
His dad is in another state for now but comes home during the weekends.

Candidlady:



Isee kobojunkie peeping... Sure she got something to say


Lemme learn although idont pray for boy child!!!

same as me,I don't pray for urgent 2k!

Rubbiish:
What of the dad?
Male children don't fear mothers naturally

Hmm. Is this true? Male children don't fear their mothers?

Dad comes around during weekends.

Teettyllayho:

Please I need advise from people with grown up kids.


I just finished with another round of lecture now and he has tears in his eyes saying:

"Mummy, stop shouting at me. It makes me sad"

I was heartbroken and felt guilty seeing him like this and I did everything possible to make him see why I had to shout or scold.

Please how can I scold a child without shouting? Am I spoiling him? Can someone help with tips?
Honestly, I'm tired!

Hehehehehe... A mollycoddled child has spoken

Kobojunkie:
Lol.... raising kids no be always template. Na trial and error!

Woah

How do you mean trial and error? Na human being ooo not some lab specimen

Kobojunkie:
Wrong!

If your shouts are causing him anxieties, he has a right to let you know. You both then need to work on an arrangement that limits the Shouting and gives you both piece of mind.

LMAAAAAO

Candidlady:
Woah

How do you mean trial and error? Na human being ooo not some lab specimen

Every human relationship involves trial and error!

Even that between adults and children. I recall an incident that took place over 17 years ago for me. One day my 3-year old niece said to me, as she cried, "you hurt my feelings!". I froze and immediately memories of the anxieties of my own childhood came flooding back to me. Since that day, I decided I would pay closer attention to how I deal with them so I don't hurt them like I was as a child.

Teettyllayho:


Hmm. Is this true? Male children don't fear their mothers?

Dad comes around during weekends.

Yes @bold
I can still remember vividly my mom reporting me & elder brother to my dad for every punishment. I respect & love my mom, but that natural fear I have for my dad growing up, I never had it for my mom one day. The dad should start getting more involved in his life, u already trying your best, but there is a limit u can go on him as a mother. The little man needs the presence of a man to mould him.

Ishilove:

LMAAAAAO

Children also experience anxieties and it is better to resolve those issues there and then than wait till they become adults, wondering why they are unable to fit in well in society, even among their peers. I speak from experience ofcourse.

Teettyllayho:
Hmm. Is this true? Male children don't fear their mothers?

Dad comes around during weekends.

That is a lie!

Kobojunkie:
Every human relationship involves trial and error!

Even that between adults and children. I recall an incident that took place over 17 years ago for me. One day my 3-year old niece said to me, as she cried, "you hurt my feelings!". I froze and immediately memories of the anxieties of my own childhood came flooding back to me. Since that day, I decided I would pay closer attention to how I deal with them so I don't hurt them like I was as a child.

Oh now iget


Parenting is one hell of a job!!! There should be a school for it!!!

Candidlady:
Oh now iget
Parenting is one hell of a job!!! There should be a school for it!!!

Every child and home situation is different though, so it would be hard to have a template for these things. And to add layers of complexity, children change as they age too, so you keep track of personality/temperament, environment, age, preferences and you have so much on your table to deal with for each kid, this in addition to your own table of Issues.

Kobojunkie:
Wrong!

If your shouts are causing him anxieties, he has a right to let you know. You both then need to work on an arrangement that limits the Shouting and gives you both piece of mind.

Stay there and be forming woke.

If the mother is angry, do you expect her to talk softly?

Work on an agreement with a 7yr old, wtf are you saying?

Can the kid say that to his teacher?

Teettyllayho:

Please I need advise from people with grown up kids.

Honestly, parenting is not easy. I don't even know what to do anymore.

My first son is 7 but he is kind of slow. However, he's above average in learning and he's learning at his pace. I understand all of this and I'm always happy to guide him.

But I don't know if I'm too hard or too soft on him because I use to talk to him a lot. I only beat him when he does something serious (like going against my rules, or not doing his homework when he should).

These days, whenever I scold him, he would give me a sad look and he might even shout saying: "I've heard you!" Then, he will be alone in a corner for some time.

Sometimes, I'd go close to him and tell him why I had to scold him and he'd say "I don't like it when you shout at me" I'd apologize and hug him (I don't even know if I'm spoiling him by apologizing). .

I don't know how to scold without putting a bit of action at least. Shey I'll be whispering and scolding ni? Sometimes, I'll leave him and pretend as if I didn't see him when he brings up such attitude.

Last week, he mistakenly brought back someone else's lunch box home because they look very much alike. I told him it's okay that it happens and I promised to write his name in bold when he brings back his box the next day to prevent such from happening again.

Could you believe that he came back with the other person's lunch box again? When I asked him, he said he didn't see his lunch box and the boy that took his own. Then I asked: Did you tell your class teacher? Are you sure you know the boy?

His reply: I didn't tell my teacher because I know the boy and I went to his class but he wasn't there.

So, I figured that he must have gone to check once and didn't bother to check again. And he didn't bother to also tell his class teacher.

So, I was very mad this time and told him not to bring someone else's property home again, no matter what!

I think he would have told his teacher if he really valued his property because he told me something that made me really mad the next morning.

"Mummy, or will you buy me another lunch box since we can't find mine?" Luckily for me, he was brushing his teeth then and I was bathing for his sister. The resounding slap I gave him on his back brought back his senses.

I don't know why he always want something new. He spoilt the lunch box I bought for him and his sister o and he's using another one now. That is, he wants me to buy a third one while his sister is still using the first one? How na?

I don't even know what to think. Why would he want a new box when he's barely used the new one?

Then, he's always talking about how his classmates use to bring different kinds of food ( he wasn't like this before o).

I try as much as possible to make different foods for him too, and he's stopped complaining.

We recently changed his school and his new school has quite a lot of pupils. I Don't know if that's affecting him.

Honestly, I'm bothered about the changes and I don't know how best to address it.

I've made him understand countless times that he should always be content with whatever he has and he shouldn't compare himself with anyone.

I just finished with another round of lecture now and he has tears in his eyes saying:

"Mummy, stop shouting at me. It makes me sad"

I was heartbroken and felt guilty seeing him like this and I did everything possible to make him see why I had to shout or scold.

Please how can I scold a child without shouting? Am I spoiling him? Can someone help with tips?
Honestly, I'm tired!

this is serious.....will shouting do much at this stage...NO...the more you shout,the more he crawls to his shell and begin to feel you "hate him"....I would suggest you make him learn how to live appropriately...then when he misbehaves you make him do the self examination by himself...for example...about the lunch box...you call him and ask him if it's right to bring home a lunch box belonging to another child...don't let him explain...let him.say yes or no...then after that scenario,let him propose the appropriate punishment for himself....I don't know if his dad is around,he still has a big role to play...your boy needs talking and talking and talking.. beating or shouting will make you loose him...

JUST FIND A WAY TO PLAY HIS WRONG DOING FOR HIM...AND LET HIM SELF EXAMINE HIMSELF AND PROPOSE THE PUNISHMENT HIMSELF...about the food other kids bring....you have to really teach him contentment and responsibility...my sister, talking and talking and talking...don't get tired and don't wait till he does something before you lecture him about life...talk to him anytime,any day... randomly....I really wish you the best...it's not easy...if the dad is around...he has a role to play too

Karleb:
Stay there and be forming woke.
1. If the mother is angry, do you expect her to talk softly?
2. Work on an agreement with a 7yr old, wtf are you saying?
3. Can the kid say that to his teacher?

1. These behaviours are learned so yes, even an angry mother can learn to tone down the shouting, and/or nagging. My mother did so after she realized she was getting nowhere with shouting and nagging at her six kids.

2. Yes! 7-year-olds are young, not daft. They understand what an agreement is. I even have a 3-year-old who I worked an agreement with just this past Sunday and so far so good. He even reminded me of our agreement last evening right as he returned from preschool.

3. Why not?

Kobojunkie:
1. These behaviours are learned so yes, even an angry mother can learn to done down the Shouting or nagging. My mother did after she realized she was getting nowhere with Shouting at her six kids.

2. Yes! 7-year-olds are young, not daft. They understand what an agreement is. I even have a 3-year-old who I worked an agreement with just this past Sunday and so far so good. He even reminded me of our agreement last evening right as he returned from preschool.

3. Why not?

You obviously don't know what you're typing.

Karleb:
You obviously don't know what you're typing.

I beg to differ since I am working with a 3-year-old, a 6-year-old, and a 9-year-old even as we speak.

No be gra-gra dem dey take raise well-adjusted children. You have to be willing to die to your ego in order to raise kids who can not only stand up as individuals but stand tall no matter where life takes them.

rickpat:
this is serious.....will shouting do much at this stage...NO...the more you shout,the more he crawls to his shell and begin to feel you "hate him"....I would suggest you make him learn how to live appropriately...then when he misbehaves you make him do the self examination by himself...for example...about the lunch box...you call him and ask him if it's right to bring home a lunch box belonging to another child...don't let him explain...let him.say yes or no...then after that scenario,let him propose the appropriate punishment for himself....I don't know if his dad is around,he still has a big role to play...your boy needs talking and talking and talking.. beating or shouting will make you loose him...

JUST FIND A WAY TO PLAY HIS WRONG DOING FOR HIM...AND LET HIM SELF EXAMINE HIMSELF AND PROPOSE THE PUNISHMENT HIMSELF...about the food other kids bring....you have to really teach him contentment and responsibility...my sister, talking and talking and talking...don't get tired and don't wait till he does something before you lecture him about life...talk to him anytime,any day... randomly....I really wish you the best...it's not easy...if the dad is around...he has a role to play too

You're very correct! He's told me I hate him before but I told him how much I love him. Thanks for the advice.

Teettyllayho:



You're very correct! He's told me I hate him before but I told him how much I love him. Thanks for the advice.

you see...so please be very careful...just do more talking especially with he is relaxed and you both are in very good mood...just teach him a new way of doing things.... please don't wait till he does something wrong first...just randomly chip in a lesson or two for him each time you two are together having fun...it's not easy at all..but I know he will come better with Patience and more of talking

Kobojunkie:
I beg to differ since I am working with a 3-year-old, a 6-year-old, and a 9-year-old even as we speak.

No be gra-gra dem dey take raise well-adjusted children. You have to be willing to die to your ego in order to raise kids who can not only stand up as individuals but stand tall no matter where life takes them.

Do you have a kid?
Do you teach in a primary school?

If your answers are no, then you don't know what you are typing.

.

Imagine a child telling his mother not to shout at him, that means if you shout at him when he’s a teenager, he will slap you.

Madam, start now to correct him especially with cane. No too much shout shout or else his misdemeanor will get out of hand.

Speaking from experience