aribisala0:
There is nothing wrong in teachers suggesting a child is assessed for ADHD .That does not amount to making a diagnosis. Teachers have PLENTY of experience with ADHD so their suggestions should be taken seriously without getting into confrontation
Often after a child is diagnosed with ADHD teachers are called upon to make adjustments to accommodate such children so they know what they are saying

Also ADHD is diagnosed clinically but they use questionnaires completed 1 by the parents and the other by the school. So the feedback from school is crucial in reaching a diagnosis.

If schools suggest this take it in a positive spirit and investigate. That THE ONLY advice you need is from a behavioural therapist is just WRONG. First you must know what the problem is. Despite your misgivings about medication the truth is that medication does work for ADHD and sometimes is the only option otherwise the child might not make academic progress.

Behavioural therapy sounds good in theory but in practice is unlikely to be affordable for average folk. It would require long hours for months if not years and if you cannot keep the same therapist may be counter productive for ADHD kids who are also autistic. Parents may settle for taking as many hours as they can afford but sometimes many hours of therapy and training of parents/carers is needed. Most times this is impracticable

There is an additional issue many parents do not like to confront many of these children also have oppositional behaviour and find it difficult to follow rules. This can be a problem for black boys in America and many people in prison are just folk whose issues were not diagnosed and treated early on

* Read my comments all over again and don't miss quote me or give a different interpretation of my intent and purpose based on your own understanding of what you think I meant.

For the records again, his behavioral therapist referral was from his pediatrician from John's Hopkins were he was also delivered which is also one of the best hospitals in the world and if there is any need for further evaluations from other departments, it would be their call and not mine since I'm not the expert here.

As for the cost, his health insurance will take care of that.

There is nothing wrong if it is suggestive from his teachers but everything is wrong if it is presented as a fact without any evaluation and coming from an unqualified person on that field.

Societies differs and what may be right or ignorantly seeing to be normal in Nigeria and other societies could be wrong in another society and making assertive diagnosis when not trained on that field is not only wrong here but also illegal.

Remember, I also mentioned I demanded for a referral from his pediatrician for him to see a behavioral therapist which is a testament that I'm not in denial of any of the possibilities of all you wrote which is why I seek for proper help for him from competent and trained personnel on that field.

I did my personal research even before going to get a referral and even though I came across most of all you wrote up there since they're on the public domain but that doesn't qualify me as someone competent to reach a conclusion but it only enriched my knowledge.

When my son was in pre-school, the teachers were also blabbing that he needs a speech therapist because other kids of his age are already talking except for him and I did took him for evaluation and the specialist educated we his parents that it is normal for some kids to start talking early while some other kid's do have delayed speech and he won't be recommending any speech therapist here, the boy now talks more than a newscaster and we now want to make him stop talking too much.

The point here is this, I always go with the advice of professionals on that field to get a problem solved even if I have a reasonable knowledge on what the issue might be but I don't jump into conclusions and assume competency on the subject in question if it is not my area of specialty and it is also illegal in the society I'm domiciled.

Nigerian child: *born*

*2 minutes later*

Nigerian parent: He shows no interest in neuroscience!

Carry them come back home and enroll them in public school make he mate beat am he head go clear..how you fut say our head take clear for here

seek the help of a man of God for deliverance

angelo5uk:


Exactly right. They're probably are still in denial mode. My son is getting ABA Therapy for Autism. He got diagnosed with PPDNOS by his primary care physician after meeting with several professionals. He's probably just a late talker or high performance autistic.
I went into depression straight afterwards because I wasn't fully informed about stuffs like this.
As long as medication is not involved. Early intervention is very vital.
OP talk to your wife and have your seen by a professional.
I look at him now and I'm shocked on how much progress he's made in the past 1 year. Dude is really smart and changed my life for good. He's the purest of all souls I've ever encountered

This is exactly the point I've been trying to pass across on my comments which is this, to seek for help from competent professionals that specializes on dealing with issue's of that nature.

Being in a state of denial is a human nature but it is always better to accept the truth and start addressing it right away.

Glad you did the right thing for your little angel.

byrron:


There is nothing wrong if it is suggestive but everything is wrong if it is presented as a fact without any evaluation and coming from an unqualified person on that field.

Societies differs and what may be right or ignorantly seeing to be normal in Nigeria and other societies could be wrong in another society and making assertive diagnosis when not trained on that field is not only wrong here but also illegal.

Remember, I also mentioned I demanded for a referral from his pediatrician for him to see a behavioral therapist which is a testament that I'm not in denial of any of the possibilities of all you wrote which is why I seek for proper help for him from competent and trained personnel on that field.

I did my personal research even before going to get a referral and even though I came across most of all you wrote up there since they're on the public domain but that doesn't qualify me as someone competent to reach a conclusion but it only enriched my knowledge.

When my son was in pre-school, the teachers were also blabbing that he needs a speech therapist because other kids of his age are already talking except for him and I did took him for evaluation and the specialist educated we his parents that it is normal for some kids to start talking early while some other kid's do have delayed speech and he won't be recommending any speech therapist here, the boy now talks more than a newscaster and we now want to make him stop talking too much.

The point here is this, I always go with the advice of professionals on that field to get a problem solved even if I have a reasonable knowledge on what the issue might be but I don't jump into conclusions and assume competency on the subject in question if it is not my area of specialty and it is also illegal in the society I'm domiciled.

Well teachers do not and should not "make diagnosis" that is not their remit. Sometimes parents lack objectivity and tend to get emotional. I am talking generally. So if a teacher expresses an opinion "with certainty" they are expressing an opinion. I doubt that any teacher in America would admit to making a diagnosis if called out. They would likely say you misunderstood or their was mutual miscommunication. They have a regulatory body that can stop them working so it may just be that there was an interpersonal difficulty in communication . That is what is sounds like to me as even reading you , pardon me , you come across as confrontational , which is usual for us Nigerians
Your claim about the illegality of making diagnosis suggests that because No teacher who wants to continue working will admit they did that f you call them out.
ADHD is a syndrome. It is not a disease per se. Syndrome simply means there is a list of symptoms and if the list is ticked and you have enough ticks you have it
The diagnosis of ADHD usually involves TEACHERS ticking boxes on a questionnaire called the CONNERS. Depending on the neighbourhood some teachers tick several questionnaires a year and it is not a difficult syndrome to diagnose bearing in mind as I said before ,it is not a disease per se. There is no blood or urine test, no scan nothing

Just reports like a 5 year old child need 3 teachers chasing him, not following instructions and not sitting still in class or leaving without permission and disregard for punishment. Usually that is enough
Medication is not the only intervention .Sometimes the child would qualify for STATUTORY SPECIAL EDUCATIONAL provision which has to be paid for by the state so a diagnosis is consequential . Such provision may mean informing everyone so the child is not punished or stigmatized , 1 to 1 tuition X number of hours a week. and other interventions that can run into thousands of dollars a month paid for by the state

Igbofam:


But seriously why would his wife be opposed to a simple ADHD test. It's not like he would be having any kind of surgery.

However modern medicine and its method of checking for ADHD in Patients entails an ADHD swab test (covering ADHD medications), which collects saliva from the patient. It is completely non-invasive and used to analyze a patient's DNA in order to see how the patient would respond to particular medications.

It is that DNA aspect that makes me wonder at why the wife would actually reject this ADHD test

The wife has African mentality.
Also, the husband could have put her off with his paranoia.
So why do you think the worse?

CSTRR:

Jesus!!
See diagnosis.

May be. Satan.

ChoCho54:
The wife has African mentality.
Also, the husband could have put her off with his paranoia.
So why do you think the worse?

African mentality?
The husband could have put her off with his paranoia?

Chai, women supporting women!

Abi na you be his wife? Wetin you dey hide Nne?

Send him to Nigeria for straightening and take him back after he’s done with high school

Op what happened to canes?








Please I need someone to show me some love and infection to mend my broken earth

Igbofam:


But seriously why would his wife be opposed to a simple ADHD test. It's not like he would be having any kind of surgery.

However modern medicine and its method of checking for ADHD in Patients entails an ADHD swab test (covering ADHD medications), which collects saliva from the patient. It is completely non-invasive and used to analyze a patient's DNA in order to see how the patient would respond to particular medications.

It is that DNA aspect that makes me wonder at why the wife would actually reject this ADHD test

Anywhere anyone is talking rubbish you cannot be far.

What the hell is ADHD swab test
DNA test to analyse response to medication in the treatment of ADHD

This is not only untrue , it is pure fantasy.

Just allow him to grow, and support him to achieve his dream.. Don't joke with what he likes to do as long as no crime in it.

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

Keep on doing your best, your son will eventually come around.

aribisala0:

Well teachers do not and should not "make diagnosis" that is not their remit. Sometimes parents lack objectivity and tend to get emotional. I am talking generally. So if a teacher expresses an opinion "with certainty" they are expressing an opinion.

(Opinion and certainty don't mix
)

I doubt that any teacher in America would admit to making a diagnosis if called out. They would likely say you misunderstood or their was mutual miscommunication.

(Their apology letters nullifies your assumptions
)


They have a regulatory body that can stop them working so it may just be that there was an interpersonal difficulty in communication .

They knew exactly what they were doing. Most Americans don't back down if they're doing the right thing, if you go to world court, they will stand their ground. The apology letters is an indication of taking responsibility for their actions.

That is what is sounds like to me as even reading you , pardon me , you come across as confrontational , which is usual for us Nigerians.

Pardon me, this is ignorance at its peak and a hectic generalization of a people. I have livid in various societies and Nigerians won't make my list of 10 confrontational people on earth, that is not one of their identifying characteristics.

Your claim about the illegality of making diagnosis suggests that because No teacher who wants to continue working will admit they did that f you call them out.

Their apology letters says otherwise and they took responsibilities which makes your assumptions once again an ill-fated one.

ADHD is a syndrome. It is not a disease per se. Syndrome simply means there is a list of symptoms and if the list is ticked and you have enough ticks you have it

This is not the issue in question and I'm not ignorant of this. I work in a field that supports individuals with this problem and very competent to give a lecture on it but not competent to make diagnostic assertions.


The diagnosis of ADHD usually involves TEACHERS ticking boxes on a questionnaire called the CONNERS.

Once again, these are public knowledge in the public domain and not an issue in discuss.

Depending on the neighbourhood some teachers tick several questionnaires a year and it is not a difficult syndrome to diagnose bearing in mind as I said before ,it is not a disease per se. There is no blood or urine test, no scan nothing

Just reports like a 5 year old child need 3 teachers chasing him, not following instructions and not sitting still in class or leaving without permission and disregard for punishment. Usually that is enough

Once again, they won't have written 3 different apology letters if they didn't realize they exceed their boundaries and if I wasn't an informed parent that called them out right away because I wasn't an ignorant fella.

Just like I stated earlier on, I know a lot about ADHD and I know those taking prescription medications for ADHD, Anxiety and Depression and those that are also on suicidal watch since i work in a field that supports individuals with developmental disabilities for 8 years but does that make me an expert in going about diagnosing people or making categorical assertions on what the problems could be when I'm not trained and licensed to do so?

That's how his school authorities made their presentations to me and I instantly had to let them know that this was a school with teachers and not a hospital with doctor's.

My son says he hates the school and that's also very concerning coming from a 6yr old because his disruptive behavior only happens while he is at school not at home which means something triggers him up whenever he gets to school which only the expert's can provide a clue or solution on that.

Cheers.

I appreciate all the comments, suggestions, and criticisms from everyone. Some of the comments reminded me of some things I have observed of him.

1. He does seem to be technical. My son talks about trains, fire engines, and other stuff. He has several toy trains and he is always taking them apart and tries to put them back together.

2. Contrary to some comments, I manage their screen time. They do not watch anything or play the PS5 until the weekend. The games he plays are not violent. I intentionally have Parental Control on the console, and he only asks me to download his train simulator, Firetruck games, and once in a while he plays the Lego Jurassic park.

3. He knows he gets to only play during the weekend. So he doesn't even bother asking for the PS or even logging into Youtube until Saturday or Sunday. He does not go behind my back to play it while I'm not hime, and if he does want to play on weekends and I'm not home, he always calls me on his mom's phone to ask for permission first. Most of the week, he just plays with his toys and lego bricks.

Like some of you fine people said, he may be bored at the level he is and needs something more challenging. I remember one day I caught him watching something out of the norm. I insisted he showed me what he was watching. The kid was shaking that day. Only for me to see a video on how airplanes work. I asked him why he was scared, and he told me he thought I will slap him for watching something other than kids stuff on YouTube. another day he asked me if we can continue to watch the video I was watching on History channel. I asked him which video, and he said "Bismarck". I was surprised he knew about it, and when I asked him what it was, he said it was a big battleship that shoots. Right now as I type this, I can see him watching something about the design of school buses.

I plan on setting up an appointment to see his pediatrician this week to rule out the ADHD.

Thank you all and I will keep you all posted.

Mindlog:


Please share how the "moral upbringing through African way" is reflecting positively in the daily life in Nigeria today?

you have to observe the child and treat him in his own language.
Eg,sit down and you refused, I'll use every means necessary to make sure you sit down and as a father,I won't oppress any child but sure to instill moral discipline,and rational leadership.
I wonder what I would have become if I was not guided through some stage when growing up.
However, most children you see on our street today,most, is as a result of parental failure. I womder what father I am if I fail to lead my children my children in the way I was brought up

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

your son is very fine I think you should stop him from playing ps5 and thank me later …
My four year old son was like that ( though was/still quite in school ). Once he gets home he’s something else I kept wondering what was wrong until a neighbor advised I stop him from watching cartoons ( like pyjamas sonic etc) … he now watches cocomelon and educational cartoons ,everyone is at peace now

Zonefree:
You bought PS5 for a six year old and you're wondering why he's misbehaving

He really finished the boy personally!

aribisala0:

Anywhere anyone is talking rubbish you cannot be far.

What the hell is ADHD swab test
DNA test to analyse response to medication in the treatment of ADHD

This is not only untrue , it is pure fantasy.

Update your knowledge of medicine. You are thinking and typing rubbish as expected.

Unlike you my knowledge is very vast.

Slap yourself and call yourself an Ode

https://www.clarityxdna.com/clarityx-mental-wellness-test/adhd-genetic-testing/

Introduce him to little doses of "Igbo" and buy him a small guitar. He may have the reggae gene.

Oyiboman69:
you have to observe the child and treat him in his own language.
Eg,sit down and you refused, I'll use every means necessary to make sure you sit down and as a father,I won't oppress any child but sure to instill moral discipline,and rational leadership.
I wonder what I would have become if I was not guided through some stage when growing up.
However, most children you see on our street today,most, is as a result of parental failure. I womder what father I am if I fail to lead my children my children in the way I was brought up

You didn't answer the question which was " Please share how the "moral upbringing through African way" is reflecting positively in the daily life in Nigeria today?

Mindlog, you should consider creating a thread with this question of yours so we can all have a serious conversation on this issue. We read a lot of comments on how great and values-driven the Nigerian approach to child-rearing is but how many of those claims hold up to the reality of what is Nigeria today?

byrron:


* Read my comments all over again and don't miss quote me or give a different interpretation of my intent and purpose based on your own understanding of what you think I meant.

For the records again, his behavioral therapist referral was from his pediatrician from John's Hopkins were he was also delivered which is also one of the best hospitals in the world and if there is any need for further evaluations from other departments, it would be their call and not mine since I'm not the expert here.

As for the cost, his health insurance will take care of that.

There is nothing wrong if it is suggestive from his teachers but everything is wrong if it is presented as a fact without any evaluation and coming from an unqualified person on that field.

Societies differs and what may be right or ignorantly seeing to be normal in Nigeria and other societies could be wrong in another society and making assertive diagnosis when not trained on that field is not only wrong here but also illegal.

Remember, I also mentioned I demanded for a referral from his pediatrician for him to see a behavioral therapist which is a testament that I'm not in denial of any of the possibilities of all you wrote which is why I seek for proper help for him from competent and trained personnel on that field.

I did my personal research even before going to get a referral and even though I came across most of all you wrote up there since they're on the public domain but that doesn't qualify me as someone competent to reach a conclusion but it only enriched my knowledge.

When my son was in pre-school, the teachers were also blabbing that he needs a speech therapist because other kids of his age are already talking except for him and I did took him for evaluation and the specialist educated we his parents that it is normal for some kids to start talking early while some other kid's do have delayed speech and he won't be recommending any speech therapist here, the boy now talks more than a newscaster and we now want to make him stop talking too much.

The point here is this, I always go with the advice of professionals on that field to get a problem solved even if I have a reasonable knowledge on what the issue might be but I don't jump into conclusions and assume competency on the subject in question if it is not my area of specialty and it is also illegal in the society I'm domiciled.

Like I said you come across as confrontational and dare I say patronizing. You might not mean to but that is the effect .Maybe no one has told you

Goodluck

byrron:


Once again, they won't have written 3 different apology letters if they didn't realize they exceed their boundaries and if I wasn't an informed parent that called them out right away because I wasn't an ignorant fella.

Just like I stated earlier on, I know a lot about ADHD and I know those taking prescription medications for ADHD, Anxiety and Depression and those that are also on suicidal watch since i work in a field that supports individuals with developmental disabilities for 8 years but does that make me an expert in going about diagnosing people or making categorical assertions on what the problems could be when I'm not trained and licensed to do so?

That's how his school authorities made their presentations to me and I instantly had to let them know that this was a school with teachers and not a hospital with doctor's.

My son says he hates the school and that's also very concerning coming from a 6yr old because his disruptive behavior only happens while he is at school not at home which means something triggers him up whenever he gets to school which only the expert's can provide a clue or solution on that.

Cheers.

You are right

aribisala0:


Like I said you come across as confrontational and dare I say patronizing. You might not mean to but that is the effect .Maybe no one has told you

Goodluck

Once again, you come across as all knowing and seems to be having difficulties comprehending what I wrote.

byrron:


Once again, you come across as all knowing and seems to be having difficulties comprehending what I wrote.

You are right

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

Hi, good day. Your son needs a pediatric neurologist to assess him. Thks looks like ADHD, but the history tilts towards High functioning autism. Please get a pediatric neurologist to evaluate him. Confirming this diagnosis will enable you to be able to utilize his narrow but above normal interests and skills

aribisala0:
You are right

You're absolutely right

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

I will suggest you come to a compromise with your wife, from your write up I sense your wife is a person of faith, your going to find out what's wrong doesn't weaken your faith, instead it helps you channel it in the right direction. God so good some of things can be easily cured by medical science if detected early. What's the worst that can happen? It's up to you to decide what to do. Please act fast

klassyguy:


I came here for advice on how to tackle a problem, not for a lecture on whether I am doing a good job of raising my kids. I've raised my kids the best way I feel. Not everyone is perfect. Sometimes you need inputs of other parents. Most of the time when I flog him, he behaves. His teacher has told me on several occasions he behaves after I "talk" to him, but it is not all the time one should spank a kid when he misbehaves. Training kids is not only achieved at home. They also have to learn and be corrected in school where their parents are not present, and that's where teachers come in.

As for the test, if you read my initial post, I clearly mentioned I AM OPEN TO TAKING HIM FOR AN ADHD TEST. It's my wife that's against it. I can't do that without her input and support. How would you feel if your spouse goes behind your back to do something with both your kids without your support and knowledge?

The young man already said what's needed for you child. Or maybe try another forum if you not satisfied with the advice you get here

Your son is clearly showing signs of autism. He may even be an AUTISTIC SAVANT.
I am only disappointed that his parents or the school has not had him diagnosed & given the right attention!!!

klassyguy:


Thank you very much. The funny thing is i do not even allow them to watch anything until the weekend. They know they have their school work to do each time they get home.

One issue I figured is my son gets bored easily. He gets tired of things once he has done them more than twice or thrice. When I call and tell him we would work on his homeworks when I get home, more often than not he would have done them before I get home. He is the kind of kid who can't sit still in one place for long and gets distracted, which was how I was when I was his age. That's why I decided to enroll him into the U8 soccer team he is. He has been there for a few weeks now and i hope that helps him.

You have a potential legend. Man don't play with that kid