₦airaland Forum

Bola146:
if she loves you, she would never go for the man, maybe she sees you from your behaviors and actions to be a time waster, she will go to the first man.

Tickles001:
If this story is real then it's clear the girl never liked you genuinely.
She's still longing for her abusive ex while she's using you to pass time.

I suspected you were being too nice to her and she's not seeing that abusive vibes in you.
Younger women love a little touch of abuse and toxicity in their relationship. To them, it signifies a worthy partner and it's like a psych-based aphrodisiac to them. If you were abusive and toxic to an extent, the other guy will have a hard time getting her back on.

Even if you married that girl, the ex would always have unrestricted access to her whenever he wants.

My advice. Draw the lines. Ask her who she wants to be with.
Tell her in clear words to cut ties with that ex if it's she wants and tell her parents it's you she wants to marry. Fall back to your base and give her like very short time to to do as you said.
Never bed, or sound emotional and pitiful. That's a deal-breaker.

Kobojunkiee:
Did you read the story at all? The gal wants to marry this OP who for some reason refuses to go see her parents but the other man has gone to see her parents instead for her hand. So on what grounds do you accuse the gal of using the OP?

Tickles001:
The ex going to see the parents without the girls consent makes me suspect her.
How can someone just go to see parents without talking with the bride to be?

Kobojunkiee:
According to the Op, the man had in past been handing gifts to her parents so it really isn't hard to believe he could go to them without first seeking her permission first.

Acesexcell:
I am kind of heartbroken at the moment, please perdorn any typo error.

I am in my late 30. I work with federal agency. My intention is to get married before the end of next year.
I am not a flirting type, even though the environment I found myself made me crave for it sometime. Now, to the main issue.

A friend introduced me to a lady late last year (she's within the age bracket of 22&23),her mom is late. She will be rounding up from school of health sciences and technology middle of this year.

She has all I want in a woman....And everything was going on well until recently. Although I asked her from the beginning of our relationship, if she had been into any relationship in the past. She said" she had been in a relationship with two men in the past"the first man left and went to marry another lady.

The second man was compatibility issue... that they were always at logger head. Although the guy was familiar with the family and was buying gifts for the family then. But due to verbal abuse and ill treatment from the guy. She loose feeling for the guy. And the guy stop calling her all this while.

Due to the aforementioned reasons, her father cautioned her to study any man seeking her hand in marriage well and make sure they are compatible before bringing the person to him.

The above reasons was why I wasn't so much in a hurry to go and see the man all this while. But I intended going there before this year runs out.

Although my girl has telling me come see her people since but I was being reluctant about the whole thing. Now the second guy has resurface again. Saying he want to continue with the relationship with my girl.
Despite that my girl made it clear to her parents that we are getting married. But the father is not listening to us. This is my second failed relationship with women I loved so much. I am really tired of the whole stuff. Is this my fault??

NemoDatQuod:
You're making a number of mistakes. There is no timetable to love. "I must marry before the end of next year" is strictly about being married. If it is love you're looking for, you may need to simply live your life and hope you find it.

Also, you and that young lady were not in love with each other. Love is not that which "alters when it's alteration finds"(William Shakespeare). Love is constant. If you two liked each very strongly, not to talk of love each other, she wouldn't have gone with her former boyfriend. You all go about confusing your desire to get married with love. They're two separate things. Marriage should be the outcome of love. Thanks for your input sir. It's not as if she has fully accepted the said guy. Infact from what she told me, she has been rejecting the guy calls eversince he resurface again.

NB: it's her family that are forcing her back to this guy life. Because she a gentle and obedient child, couple with the fact that she lost her mom.

Medianna:
You can't rush or force matters like this na.

Maybe she's was never yours.

Pardon me.

You mean she got back with the man that verbally abuse her cux you haven't seen her parents?

Moblux:
@Medianna your are correct about that.

In most cases, the case. If it's not yours, it's never yours.