ellaV:
you should be single...this write up is for people that are married and are the responsible type, thank you

Skyview01:


Why do you thinking visiting churches and pastors will solve her problems. Completely beat my imaginations?

When most people think of domestic abuse, the first thing that comes to mind is likely verbal abuse and physical assault. But research shows that financial abuse occurs just as frequently in unhealthy relationships as other forms of abuse.

In fact, a study by the Centers for Financial Security found that 99% of domestic violence cases also involved financial abuse.

Financial abuse involves controlling a victim's ability to acquire, use, and maintain financial resources. Those who are victimized financially may be prevented from working.

They also may have their own money restricted or stolen by the abuser. And rarely do they have complete access to money and other resources.

Victims often have spotty employment records, ruined credit histories, and mounting legal issues caused by years of financial abuse. Consequently, it's very difficult for them to establish independence and long-term security. In fact, many victims stay with or return to abusers due to concerns about financial stability.

Overall, financial abuse is very isolating because victims often become financially dependent on their abusers. This financial dependence traps them in the relationship.

ellaV:
he do no wrong in the eyes of his family..its just a wasted effort my family has talk , he will listen and will still do what's on his mind...Maybe the next person you guys will see carrying PlaCard in search of a job atleast if it's govt job word of mouth can't take me out, cos the frustration is too much,right now there is nothing to eat because he has not sent money for me...it is well

cococandy:
If you’re sure. 100% sure that he’s the one sabotaging your job opportunities, then Leave him. That’s enemy behavior not husband behavior.

ellaV:
I talked to my pastor he was called but never showed up,he told me I was wasting my time

Pierocash:
if your problem has spiritual root, you solve it by spiritual means. You don't solve spiritual mysteries using physical approach,you solve mysteries with higher mysteries.

Same way you don't understand why visiting pastors can solve her problem,that is how it works. That is why it is called mystery, it is not for everyone to understand.

Skyview01:


I love your answer. Now the big elephant in the room is, how did you arrive at the conclusion that her problems have "SPIRITUAL ROOTS"

Pierocash:
didn't you read the part where she said that word of prophecies had always pointed her mother inlaw as a strong marine witchcraft ,who manipulates and controls her husband? That points to the fact that the man is not in his right senses,and only strong spiritual approach can change the tide in her favour ,and that is where visiting pastors comes in

samtol4:
You are praying and the same time you want to go Ijebu to see an herbalist ? What kind of christian goes to herbalist ? Ijebu you want to go is the spirit of God leading you there ? Be careful so you wont destroys yourself with charms . You have prayed ? have you adjusted your character and show more love to your husband ? have you asked God what is the next step to do ? Be careful where you seek for solutions the consequence will not be funny .

timy22:



Stop reporting him or depending on him to make your life better.

Believe in your self and makeup your mind to better in every areas of your life.

Create another email account, apply for jobs, put a password on your phone.

Talk to people who can, to get you job.
Or talk to friends and family to loan you money to start a small business.

Tell yourself , you can achieve anything you desire. Pray to God and and work smart.

The sky is your starting point .

frozen70:


Terrible
Just go on uoir knees and pray to God for direction

As for what they said that his mum tied him down, she may have been the one that funded this business so that may be their agreement

You have to wait ait until the day that woman will be dead and buried then lets see if your husband will regain freedom

The mistake has already been done, so I won't advice you to leave, ery soon those kids will grow to fight for you

GloriousGbola:
There is nothing spiritual about this
It is the man's nature.

There is a story I told before about how I had to go to a big man's house. His worker had bashed my car. I was regaled with stories about all the land and property the man owned. We got to the house and it was in darkness. He was out of town. His wife came out. The woman was completely helpless and could not even have the generator put on. She could only say 'just talk to my husband'

There is another case right in my close. This man is at least 50. He reportedly has a lot of money. He is clearly very miserly. Anyways a few years ago he married this young lady. University graduate. The lady is now on her fourth child for this man. She does nothing. She cannot drive even though the man has a spare, battered 2003 corolla. Na okada everywhere. She is not happy.

It is a mindset some men (I think provincial Ibo in particular) have. There is really nothing you can do unless you can sort yourself out without his support. Though from your story, he may go out of his way to sabotage any of your efforts to empower yourself.

There is no marine kingdom or any other supernatural story here. Just a husband who expects his wife to bear and raise children and nothing else



This is one of those cases where I will just siddon look. The red flags must have been there when the lady married. Him. The neighbour I referenced is an uneducated and very cantankerous man. I could not imagine how the courtship between him and his wife went.

This for me is one of those stories where the lady knew the deal and entered with her eyes open for reasons

ellaV:
he bought a car for me, since last year...its still parked at the mechanic till date

GloriousGbola:


Ironically the exact same thing happened with my neighbour. The car he brought out for his wife to use has been sitting under a tree for the past two weeks.

Skyview01:


I read and i don't believe the prophecy nor the pastor. Tons on fake pastors and prophets in Nigeria.

GloriousGbola:


Ironically the exact same thing happened with my neighbour. The car he brought out for his wife to use has been sitting under a tree for the past two weeks.

GloriousGbola:


Ironically the exact same thing happened with my neighbour. The car he brought out for his wife to use has been sitting under a tree for the past two weeks.

Pierocash:
you don't need to believe, it is not necessary.

ellaV:
thank you for this piece really helpful

henmaris:


She's determined to blame someone else instead of the husband with the problems. Why did the pastor who saw the mom in the marine kingdom not break the chain?
Gullible pastor followers.

Read ur Bible madam and stop blaming others over u and ur husband's predicaments.

The dignified manner of saying I went to a native doctor is... I went to see a pastor

Eketem:
So in summary:

1. You claim your husband has millions in savings
2. He doesn't want to open a business for you or pay for your masters
3. He sends email when you apply for jobs to sabotage your efforts.
4. His mother is infected by a marine spirit
5. He pays all current bills and buys even your phones
6. You suspect he is gay
7. You don't want to leave the marriage
8. You marriage shame those who have tried to advise you
9. You want to go to a Church and also a Juju place for solutions.


So this is my own summary even without hearing from your husband.

You have a victim complex and listen to So many tales from the many people you have gone to wail about your situation so you will never sit a reflect on your own actions and inactions that have led to your failures, somebody else must always be blamed. If he opens a business for you and it fails you will probably accuse him of using ritual money to do so.

If I reading without bias can be so tired of the several spins you have come up with I wonder what your husband goes through.

Even if the man works himself to death for you it will never be enough there will be always something to blame him for .

I blame him for marrying a child who has not fully developed to understand actions, consequences and personal responsibility.

Keep running from pillar to post, I am sure the reason for all this drama is you are comparing your life and status to other friends and want to be in the positions they are and as you are not it is easy to blame your husband who married you out of school for that.

I will take a wild guess you have bought and used kayanmata from those online vendors on him and it hasnt worked yet. Gen Z things.


If all you said is true then walk away, for the sale of that man walk away before you nag and frustrate him to death.

The truth is nobody can help you till you help yourself, sit down and tell yourself the truth, what are your expectations and what is reality? How do you work to meet your expectations? How can you start a zero capital business and stay focused on it?

Use this time you use gossiping and looking for church and juju to research, read and have a sober reflection on your choices. Learn and research before starting any business, you are not in competition with anybody.

ellaV:


I will take the good part of your advise..but for you to experience this to your understanding,you will marry someone that behaves exactly like my husband.. this is why women don't speak up its because of people like you who will judge their pain instead of ease it.

Pascopele:
Why you still in the marriage?

Take up a job, he can't do jack read what I wrote slowly.

ellaV:


I will take the good part of your advise..but for you to experience this to your understanding,you will marry someone that behaves exactly like my husband.. this is why women don't speak up its because of people like you who will judge their pain instead of ease it[b][/b].

Eketem:


Curse from today till next year I think before I act and take responsibility for my actions.

I don't go looking for who to blame abuse or curse.

Another victim mentality, always looking to hold on to victim Hood. We must swallow your story hook, line and sinker no questions asked else you resort to emotional blackmail.

The mother in law you tagged a marine spirit, is she not a woman and victim of yours? You are moving from church to shrine to declare her a winch instead of rolling up your sleeves and making a comprehensive plan for your life.

What exactly do you want?

Names of churches and shrines to go and fight them or the truth of your situation.

If you like stay here and hold on to the victimhood, you will waste all your money from church to shrine and still be back to the same issue.

See how easy it is for you to shame and curse out those who don't agree with you, one can only wonder what vile things you have said to your spouse.

ellaV:
I decided to be a good girl, love one man and marry that man and stick with him till the end , I don't think am doing wrong for someone to want me not to be happy not like I married him for money I met him when he didn't have a dine, I build with him , bore him kids all I want is to be set up financially or allow me set myself that's where the problems comes and you say it's normal eye..its not..Nigeria society is part of the reason osinachi did not leave her marriage and is also part of the reason why am not leaving mine...its a spiritual matter , I have decided to follow it spiritually...meanwhile I have registered to learn software development so I can work remotely independently,cos I can't continue suffering and smilling..thank you

Eketem:


More emotional blackmail, there is no medical report or autopsy to confirm what killed Osinachi till then I won't comment on that , I wonder how that is relevant to your issue.


You have blamed your husband
Blamed his mother
Blamed unmarried people on this post
Now Blamed society, all because you do not want to do a proper self reflection.

Good for you to decide it is spiritual and follow it spiritually, good luck with that.


You decided to be a good girl and for whose benefit is that? Is it not for your own benefit? Do you want an award for that?

You want him to set you up in business, have you considered that what you assume he has he may not have? If he doesn't set you up, you wont grow?

The problem with this victim mentality growing on social media is that people believe they can make bad choices and blame it on others especially society.

Who is society?

Again his mom who you have declared a witch is she not a victim? Are you not also society ?

ellaV:
I will deal with it spiritually thank you

Eketem:
So in summary:

1. You claim your husband has millions in savings
2. He doesn't want to open a business for you or pay for your masters
3. He sends email when you apply for jobs to sabotage your efforts.
4. His mother is infected by a marine spirit
5. He pays all current bills and buys even your phones
6. You suspect he is gay
7. You don't want to leave the marriage
8. You marriage shame those who have tried to advise you
9. You want to go to a Church and also a Juju place for solutions.


So this is my own summary even without hearing from your husband.

You have a victim complex and listen to So many tales from the many people you have gone to wail about your situation so you will never sit a reflect on your own actions and inactions that have led to your failures, somebody else must always be blamed. If he opens a business for you and it fails you will probably accuse him of using ritual money to do so.

If I reading without bias can be so tired of the several spins you have come up with I wonder what your husband goes through.

Even if the man works himself to death for you it will never be enough there will be always something to blame him for .

I blame him for marrying a child who has not fully developed to understand actions, consequences and personal responsibility.

Keep running from pillar to post, I am sure the reason for all this drama is you are comparing your life and status to other friends and want to be in the positions they are and as you are not it is easy to blame your husband who married you out of school for that.

I will take a wild guess you have bought and used kayanmata from those online vendors on him and it hasnt worked yet. Gen Z things.


If all you said is true then walk away, for the sale of that man walk away before you nag and frustrate him to death.

The truth is nobody can help you till you help yourself, sit down and tell yourself the truth, what are your expectations and what is reality? How do you work to meet your expectations? How can you start a zero capital business and stay focused on it?

Use this time you use gossiping and looking for church and juju to research, read and have a sober reflection on your choices. Learn and research before starting any business, you are not in competition with anybody.