₦airaland Forum

sgtponzihater1:
The very beginning:

This is one question I probably know the answer to. I could afford a flat, My cable subscription was on point, I hardly ran out of data, except my smile plug was temporary offline, and I could very well feed myself with all the sort of meals I wanted. I also was far above average for a cook.

I really was not thinking of a wife at all. Ladies came and went. I knew while women can be pleasurable, living with them forever could probably cause a strain. So I avoided them for nearly 30years of my life if not more. I obviously was not a Saint, yet I tried my best to do no harm.

Then the scammers came. I can remember all of them. They saw my good life and wished me suffering. They painted the wrong narrative. "PonziHater, you shouldn't be cooking all this soup yourself and doing the dishes everything. "You need a woman to soften things up", when they found me in the restaurant eating "ogufe", they blurted out loudly that I was just a wasting money when I could have a wife to easen things up. They made vague references men who were supposedly living happier lives because of the women in their life. All these men were disgruntled, but kept a fake smile to sell a false narrative

The truth it was it was all brainwash. I felt good, happy and free. I couldn't afford the best designers, but my shirt were "red tag", and my pants were decent. I could fuel my car, and "afford" any lady on the daily. I truly then did not understand the softening of life that they claimed Marriage will bring, but with their emphasis, I thought of a near heaven, where lovely meals, a lot of sex, children calling me daddy and a wife to walk to in the park. What I found going forward was just like being at the peak of orgasm in a brothel, just at the point when the police were breaking in. It was some pleasure subsequently followed by gross imprisonment. It was going to hell on a 24hours drive, and then returning only to be stopped in the middle of nowhere by robbers. It was the most distasteful experience a man could see.

To be continued

ChiefSgtPonziHater

is she short?

killmods:
This thread came at the right time for me.. I can't die unhappy pls

never sacrifice your comfort for another human, at least not a female

ukaface:
A quick question though
And I hope I get answered.
Why is it that most males are the ones that keep complaining and regretting marriage?

Generally speaking, I think the world is not fair to men.
U can't walk in a place without the hearing the phrase ' ladies first'. When there's an emergency ladies will be evacuated first alongside children. FGS!!! what happens to Gender equality? I feel they just want to eat their cake and still have it

Not all women are like this...how long did you date before getting married?

Your wife either lacks home training or respect, or she doesn't respect or love you.

Nyascobar1414:
society keep telling men, if you dont marry you will be lonely at your old age.. But they wont tell you that If you marry you will not be old, stress in keeping a family kills faster like a snakes poison..

BTW, not everyone will be old.

yinmu, Old age is inevitable whether single or married but what with immediate family around you, you LL enjoy your old age. When those old age sickness comes, you have spouse and children to support you mentally, financially etc

How can I like this your comment a thousand times. We allowed western films to deceive us a lot. Guess why those old men had a stable marriage, they practice what is called tough love. Hardly will u see the men simp around their wives. It was strictly business for them. You even doubt if they have sex at all because the men were not romantic.

LordIsaac:
It will shock you that I went through all this and more with a live-in girlfriend, till I wept to God one day, and He personally delivered me. I'm married now. Trust me, I set the rules before the marriage. I was challenged severally by the term, " you are not romantic," but, I reiterate my rules always. I think it is just how you begin and some measure of luck. Some of them are not entirely bad. The men are the problem because they "fell" in love. It is a contract, don't spoil it with "love."

ExcelDBM:
You should be ashamed of yourself after making these statements. But as usual, the fallen house has no shame. Only the owner.

Envy kill u there...

U should be more ashamed for not having any good story in your life to tell.
Well,I don't usually reply frustrated people before I will add to your problem.

Princeton92:
It's all filled with scandalous acts and sounds very tiring these days, no one wants to venture into such annoying piece of scamming shit

It is only here I see people not interested in marriage but in life, everybody wants to marry and societal pressure is heavy.

Nyascobar1414:
You will have another story to tell..

I reject it for her in Jesus name... different folks on nairaland ABI kinni wi?

Tranquility2345:
This….but what if you don’t have any rapport with the wife? You might as well be a single old man with a housemaid. Also, nothing says you can’t have a girlfriend at old age

That's why you should marry right. When you marry right, you LL know that there are gains there in

Iamzik:
I think it is because of the religion and African culture.

A culture that puts all the stress and responsibilities on the man. A culture that forbids the man from complaining or sees him as weak.

A religion that calls the woman a helper (which practically makes it legal for her to contribute little or nothing to the union and get societal approval) whereas the man is the actual helper.

A man pays your rent, feeds you, cloth you, pay school fees and every other bill yet the woman is supposed to be the help? Pray tell what is she helping with?

My advice to men...don't kill yourself. If your wife works and earn a descent wage, she is not doing you any favour whatsoever by taking up responsibility in the house. Infact marriage should be easier for both because you two, combining your resources and intellect, should be able to easily achieve more than you alone (man/woman) can achieve working alone and faster too ..... Else that Is the value of the marriage?

Most men complain because they look at the stress and what they have achieved in marriage and realise they could have achieved far more without the problems of marriage. A man or woman will complain if the partner clearly is a minus

I can't relate with your write up though.
My mum did help my dad with bills, they were both working and both made use of their finances to hold up the family.
Now I don't see why a man would marry a woman to just sit at home and do nothing while he pays all the bills. It boils down to the kinda woman he is getting married to, I can't be in a marriage and allow my husband pay all of the bills even though I'm earning my pay, it's absurd. Whoever introduced y'all to that mindset did y'all an evil thing.

Men complain bitterly nowadays because y'all don't discuss this marriage thing before getting married. Why will you get married to a lady who finds it difficult to help you financially during courtship and then all of a sudden you want her to miraculously help out in marriage. Hiaaaaa.
Y'all men and women should do well to talk marriage matters, parenting matters, get to know your spouse( even though you can't possibly know all about them, but you can still try) not everytime ' when are you coming to my house?' and then all of a sudden, you get down on one kneel to propose marriage.

I laugh Una, Una go complain tire

CorrectBizWoman:
I don't understand

don't mind him jare ..I wish you the very best in your marriage..

omotola90:
so,you want him to disclose his wife's virginity in public?I don't really get

So what is wrong in that?

If na virgin she be, him for don boldly talk am!

ExcelDBM:
Because it is a scam to men as there is nothing beneficial exclusively to them while for women it is like a partnership where she is a nominal partner yet enjoys most if not all benefits without any actual stake in the partnership and takes all upon dissolution of the partnership.

what are the benefits?

Cutehector:
a well manipulated man.

Yes,l was manipulated like your father at home.

U are a text book example of a fool.

phemmyfour:
yinmu, Old age is inevitable whether single or married but what with immediate family around you, you LL enjoy your old age. When those old age sickness comes, you have spouse and children to support you mentally, financially etc

Havent you seen people still forsaken at their old age?

Take it as you take bitter medicine with your eyes closed.you can only hope for the best

Sureplug123:
No offence but I find this funny, coming from a woman.

It's funny o.You know some wives can be too demanding,even when we clearly know they are from poor background.


I think if God upgrades a woman through her husband,she should be giving him peace of mind especially when the man is someone that is a peacemaker.

She think say she agaba,she know ask well.She for change mind, because when she fully enter family na him she see say we self dey use shaving sticks o.WE STUBBORN DIE!

ibechris:
I have benefited immensely from Marriage like it or not.

Marriage benefits far outweighs its disadvantage. When it comes to investments,my wife is my partner and my advisor and in fact,someone I rely on to offer her cherished ideas.

I have never been depressed as a married man but many of u singles are already depressed with baby mama's.

Financially,married people like me reach their financial goals faster than singles out there...who are looking for a baby mama to impregnate.

Married people have shown commitment to appointments and responsibilities than singles.

Marriage is a driving force that helps u to take ethical responsibility and that is why u will see more unserious singles caught as yahoo plus men.

Twale for you!

Ahmed0336:
Was that a curse?

Not a curse,Its just reality..

Victerica:
So what is wrong in that?

If na virgin she be, him for don boldly talk am!

on a public forum...well it differs though...

ibechris:
Yes,we'll manipulated like your father at home.

U are a text book example of an fool.

lmao...why is this hurting you so bad? You are such a kid.

Trust me that marriage will you change you to the best of you when you finally come out of it

Great pity! Abuse goes both ways. Men should learn to speak up early enough to see if the marriage can be salvaged or there's need to walk away.

ibechris:
U cant buy property in your baby mama's name now...but I have purchased property on two occasions with my wife's name without any need to regret it. But u dare not with your baby mama or girl friend
I have kept all my life savings in my wife's personal accounts which many of u dare not do with your baby mama's out there.

On the day of my wedding I got a jeep from my brother but u can't get it from impregnating a baby mama.

Guy,I still maintain my stand,that marriage is good. I and my wife have made 6.6million naira in three months just for working together as partners in our side hustle. But u can never achieve that with your baby mama's.

Did you realized you were arguing with one who believe strongly in what he believe..

Some men have been groomed to be a daddy in the making, while some never had that privilege.

It will be difficult to project your points on him, he isn't experiencing it from the angle you may have thought of.

Everyone one will always have their mindset which determines the life setting, but, the end justifies the means.

You value family and I am of the same school of thought..The truth is, Some other men will not and cannever uphold it..And no amount of point or preaching, can change them.

Hathor5:
Edited

Now that I have read the entire story, I have this to say. You blame that other people tricked you into marriage by saying that marriage life was sweet. Your experience was bitter though.

Did you ask those people how they made their marriages sweet? Or did you believe it takes a wedding ceremony for a marriage to be sweet?

You say that your single life was awesome. Did the things you were enjoying before you got married fall from heaven? Or had you worked for them?

Why do you people put so much effort into their careers but believe that a good relationship/marriage must fall from heaven? Why are people willing and ready to go the extra mile for their career goals but not for their marriages/relationships/families?

The truth is: if you want your marriage/relationship to be sweet, be ready to work for it.

I wish those other people would have told you that too.

Why don’t we also realise that if we want our country/communities to be sweet/safe/good etc, we should be ready to work for it?
What is stopping us from this realisation

Nyascobar1414:
Havent you seen people still forsaken at their old age?

Stat shows that those without family are more likely to experience such than those that with a family

LadyRosa:
You married a very self entitled,lazy woman who is badly nutured.Her mom is also not well trained.Very nasty upbringing!No brother of mine will ever make this mistake, except he didn't tell me.Them trust me na,I get the mind them no get.If I have an in law like yours,She won't even get pregnant before she is kicked out of the house alongside her mother.Yes!I go EXTRA length when I want something done.

What nonsense!

My elder brother's wife played that game at the beginning of their marriage.I heard rumors of her bullshit,I ignored.Came home during one of my office breaks Alas!I met him too in the family house looking all slim and weary A once vibrant young energetic man.I asked him why he was looking like that ,he laughed and downplay the reasons.Lied,but I Know the rumors already.

Kept quiet....

Till she messed up right in a family reunion.

First I reminded her she is a pauper,her father is a carpenter and her mom is not in the country to protect her as she is remarried.Nobody will clearly fight for you,you don't have the money nor the connection,nor the leverage.I open openly told my brother there that his ex gf is still available,and willing to return whenever he changes his mind.I will single handedly pay a new woman's dowry and bring her home.Her mother had to call me to apologize on her daughters behalf after the fool told me she'd leave with her child.I told her mother point black her daughter will not be alive to take even a single baby socks out of any house belonging to my father's house.Not even a diaper.I will personally bundle you out!

Now,my elder brother is a very quiet, conservative guy who never stay out late.I love him so much, very much and the man he choose to be.Them no born any woman well to run am down AS LONG AS I'M ALIVE.I will bury that woman and order for an expensive black shade for her burial.

The wife is very calm now.Like she went herself to buy humility she lacked from the local market.I don't even call her,no member of the family behaves like she exists when she is around.

Hathor5:
Edited

Now that I have read the entire story, I have this to say. You blame that other people tricked you into marriage by saying that marriage life was sweet. Your experience was bitter though.

Did you ask those people how they made their marriages sweet? Or did you believe it takes a wedding ceremony for a marriage to be sweet?

You say that your single life was awesome. Did the things you were enjoying before you got married fall from heaven? Or had you worked for them?

Why do you people put so much effort into their careers but believe that a good relationship/marriage must fall from heaven? Why are people willing and ready to go the extra mile for their career goals but not for their marriages/relationships/families?

The truth is: if you want your marriage/relationship to be sweet, be ready to work for it.

I wish those other people would have told you that too.

God bless you, I wish I could like this post a million times

phemmyfour:
yinmu, Old age is inevitable whether single or married but what with immediate family around you, you LL enjoy your old age. When those old age sickness comes, you have spouse and children to support you mentally, financially etc

Fallacy...

Spouses die..Children grow up and leave to live their lives...sometimes, that bearly have enough to feed themselves...dont you are old people working and even begging

Make money and get ready to take care of yourself at your old age..whethwr you have a family or not...

Hathor5:
Edited

Now that I have read the entire story, I have this to say. You blame that other people tricked you into marriage by saying that marriage life was sweet. Your experience was bitter though.

Did you ask those people how they made their marriages sweet? Or did you believe it takes a wedding ceremony for a marriage to be sweet?

You say that your single life was awesome. Did the things you were enjoying before you got married fall from heaven? Or had you worked for them?

Why do you people put so much effort into their careers but believe that a good relationship/marriage must fall from heaven? Why are people willing and ready to go the extra mile for their career goals but not for their marriages/relationships/families?

The truth is: if you want your marriage/relationship to be sweet, be ready to work for it.

I wish those other people would have told you that too.

Brilliant

Hathor5:
Edited

Now that I have read the entire story, I have this to say. You blame that other people tricked you into marriage by saying that marriage life was sweet. Your experience was bitter though.

Did you ask those people how they made their marriages sweet? Or did you believe it takes a wedding ceremony for a marriage to be sweet?

You say that your single life was awesome. Did the things you were enjoying before you got married fall from heaven? Or had you worked for them?

Why do you people put so much effort into their careers but believe that a good relationship/marriage must fall from heaven? Why are people willing and ready to go the extra mile for their career goals but not for their marriages/relationships/families?

The truth is: if you want your marriage/relationship to be sweet, be ready to work for it.

I wish those other people would have told you that too.

you are a bastard. Get out of here