₦airaland Forum

NamelessOGBENI:
Now this a balanced thread devoid of emotions. I know some would want to turn it to gender wars but then, men suffer, women suffer and there's no point painting one the angel and the other the devil.

WHITELIGHTER:
Absolutely. I still think about some hurtful shit my ex-wife said to me over 4yrs ago

IamAsiri:
It is true but this goes both ways. I know of some couple that the husbands don't touch the wives (at least not to one's face) but can make their wives feel like ants.

Idaytesj29:
Yes, I couldn't believe this was coming from her.

She said the plain truth.

efficiencie:
If your wife is turning you into a beast with her mouth jejely leave her before you morph into a full blown beast and kill her. Marriage vows should be updated to include what the man or woman expects as a precondition to stay in the marriage. If your wife cannot control her mouth leave and if your husband cannot control his temper leave. Men should confirm from women about what their mouth can do before marriage and women should confirm their men's anger issues before marriage.

Double0h7:
You're absolutely right but I'm just staying on topic. This thread is focused on the pain of husbands and it is insensitive to drag the focus away from that and discuss the pain of wives. That is another thread. Verbal abuse damages anyone on the receiving end whether it's a husband, wife, child, brother, sister... all humans are impacted by verbal abuse. So let's acknowledge the pain of husbands and condemn wives who verbally abuse their husbands.

placeofallure:
Family nuances.

Every marriage with its peculiarities. All kinds of abuses physical, emotional, verbal and the rest of them boils down to our inability to properly communicate in the house. Communication isn't just opening and closing your mouth.

There'll always be misgivings committed by either of the partners. Now if your spouse does something bad, address that issue, ONLY that issue, proffer solution if you can. It ends there. Don't bring the history of how his uncle was like that, or reminding her about how all her sisters are divorced ....how he did the same thing last century and blablabla... Women are more guilty here. That is what annoys the man and if he lacks self control, your guess is as good as mine.

Many men in my opinion are immature. You need to nurture them the way you would your 5-year old. If women understand this, there'll be peace.

That's not an excuse to misbehave notwithstanding. If you are not up to it as a man, don't marry. A man should be able to make informed choices that is best for his family. These failings or shortcomings are the things that infuriate a woman. And if she has an unbridled tongue, reeling begins. Plus men have this ego problem. It's not a taboo to see a wife more sensible than the husband. Men, know this and know wisdom. As a man, you could borrow sense if yours is inadequate. It doesn't make you less of a man. You're to complement each other. Marriage is not a competing ground.

God save our marriages.

Moneyboyz:
I almost sent my wife packing yesterday because of this verbal abuse issue.
What happened?
I went out to buy bread and kept my phony at the top of the shoe rack cause I know she will want to go through it.

Immediately I came back she started nagging and shouting calling me names saying I'm hiding something by hiding my phone cause she can hear it ringing when she called it.

It went on and on before she sparked a plug in my brain. I was this close to taking my kid to my mom and sending her away.
If you hit her now story will change.

Imbecilicsamuel:
Then don't talk about others taking corrections when you can't yourself. Who are you?

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one.

donleo92:
Yes, opinion shifted on the scandal but the damage had been done. The Ambassador was recalled and nobody heard from him again.

MadamVanessa:




Inasmuch as I kick strongly against domestic violence on women. But if we want to be objective and look critically into most of domestic violence carried out by men on women, we'll see that about 68% of it are caused by women.

The way and Manner wives talk at their husbands is always sad, and it's enough to make a sane man go insane immediately and unleashed his anger on the wife through beating.

Men should learn how to control their anger, because when you lay your hands on a woman, the society don't want to know the level of insults the woman gave you, all the blame will be on you and almost everybody including your fellow men would see you as a very irresponsible person.

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one.

MadamVanessa:



Men should learn how to control their anger, because when you lay your hands on a woman, the society don't want to know the level of insults the woman gave you, all the blame will be on you and almost everybody including your fellow men would see you as a very irresponsible person.

Moneyboyz:
I almost sent my wife packing yesterday because of this verbal abuse issue.
What happened?
I went out to buy bread and kept my phone at the top of the shoe rack cause I know she will want to go through it.

Immediately I came back she started nagging and shouting calling me names saying I'm hiding something by hiding my phone cause she can hear it ringing when she called it.

It went on and on before she sparked a plug in my brain. I was this close to taking my kid to my mom and sending her away.
If you hit her now story will change.

Kooldame:
May our children not come across some boy-men,immature billy goats that can make marriage frustrating, no matter how you value them and make them feel secured they will prove they don't deserved to be loved by displaying their animalistic behaviour to their hardworking career wives,only divine intervention can change them from cheating,keeping malice,stinginess,and all sort of negative attitude that can turn their women to fierce looking wolves who are ready to devour and rainstorm their heads with words that pierce more than swords.

Demigod22:
I am very impressed to see a very healthy and resourceful thread on this forum without throwing tantrums or making it gender war. It shows we still have intelligent people here.

Over to the bone of contention. Verbal abuse have the same degree of effect with physical abuse. The African society believes that men are suppose to be strong, so most men hide their pains and misery.

Women should be properly cautioned to refrain from verbally abusing their partner as men are being discouraged from physically abusing women.

Personally, I can't tolerate women that doesn't have control over their mouth. If my wife think the best way to register her displeasure is by abusing me verbally, I will have no option than to halt the marriage.

Anything that cost you your peace of mind is too expensive. I will rather choose my peace of mind over everything. Mental health is very important to me.

placeofallure:
Family nuances.

Every marriage with its peculiarities. All kinds of abuses physical, emotional, verbal and the rest of them boils down to our inability to properly communicate in the house. Communication isn't just opening and closing your mouth.

There'll always be misgivings committed by either of the partners. Now if your spouse does something bad, address that issue, ONLY that issue, proffer solution if you can. It ends there. Don't bring the history of how his uncle was like that, or reminding her about how all her sisters are divorced ....how he did the same thing last century and blablabla... Women are more guilty here. That is what annoys the man and if he lacks self control, your guess is as good as mine.

Many men in my opinion are immature. You need to nurture them the way you would your 5-year old. If women understand this, there'll be peace.

That's not an excuse to misbehave notwithstanding. If you are not up to it as a man, don't marry. A man should be able to make informed choices that is best for his family. These failings or shortcomings are the things that infuriate a woman. And if she has an unbridled tongue, reeling begins. Plus men have this ego problem. It's not a taboo to see a wife more sensible than the husband. Men, know this and know wisdom. As a man, you could borrow sense if yours is inadequate. It doesn't make you less of a man. You're to complement each other. Marriage is not a competing ground.

God save our marriages.

relaxandsmile:
Since men have decided to leave reality for illusion, they will continue to be at the receiving end. FOLLOW THE LINE OF A HAUSA MAN WHEN DEALING WITH AN ABUSIVE WOMAN and be happy with your life oh men.
Incase you don't know the way of a Hausa man, it is SEKI (Divorce) straight away.
If a woman knows you can tow that path anytime in your relationship, she will think twice.
How can you toil so hard to build a home and someone is making it a nightmare for you?!

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one.

Pastorsmile:
Women are good and well behaved only when they haven't got into your home. Once you get married to them,you will begin to see their real colour. My advice to young men is that they should be very careful not to rush into a fruitless journey in the name of marriage.
Women respect you when you haven't committed that much. Once you do, forget about it.

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one.

ChoCho54:
Verbal abuse is as bad as physical abuse.
Yes, women say a lot of things they don't mean, but the recipient is forever broken.

At the beginning, I noticed my husband took everything I said to heart, no be person tell me before watching my mouth and choosing my words carefully.