₦airaland Forum

JovialJune:
We are talking of people that live together, see each other everyday, not once in a blue moon calling or reaching out like yours.

We stayed together in some years before marriage. Saw ourselves daily. How about my blood relations who stayed together two decades plus before marriage?

You dont love him, you're just looking for excuse to leave him so you can explore. He is probably the first man you dated and maybe feel you did not explore enough before settling down.

Since you dont love him, you'd be finding fault.
Anyways, do what pleases you but know that the grass is always greener on the other sude

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

Ah! And you just believe Papa and Mama like that? Kwantinue

Ruwize1:
You are not serious at all. Seems someone some where is giving you green light abi?
Or do you think he doesn't have stuffs he is enduring from you?
You better get stuck there, because if you go in the direction your head is telling you, you will loose and later regret it. Endure it while you find the best way to work on him in that regards. We are all work in progress. You have such a man what else are you looking for? This life ehh people with good men pushing them away and those with bad ones no go let us hear.

Women and their wahala, carry them like this dem go say na like that dem want. God help us.

Anyways, are you interested and ready to study in the UK, Canada, Australia and travel with your family?
Need an SOP for that admission or visa or need visa processing?

Kindly send a DM details in my signature.

I like the bolded..

DoctorOlasDesk:
We stayed together in some years before marriage. Saw ourselves daily. How about my blood relations who stayed together two decades plus before marriage?

And not once was there misunderstandings and arguements?

Ok.

Klass99:
The title of your thread and subsequent comments is a narrative I have encountered, with women who married really early and didn't get a chance to live their lives, independently and on their own terms.

They moved straight from daddy's house to hubby's house, which is not a terrible thing. But from conversations, more and more women seem to feel tired, dissatisfied and unfulfilled in their lives at some point and they just want out.

It may be a temporary feeling for some, which passes, for others it becomes an all consuming fire within, leading to something. A former colleague is on this table, married with 3 kids, her speech can be alarming and behaviour sometimes unsettling.

Can young women just be allowed to live a little, broaden their horizons, explore possibilities after school/graduation, to discover themselves and what they can do for work and a career, without being unduly pressured to marry so early? It is not always about wanting to sleep around or explore different diicks, the things I mentioned helps in building well grounded adjusted adults, who have life skills to cope with life's challenges.

or explore different diicks

You are a very stupid woman. Honestly, i don't know why most men marry anything kind thing as a wife

OlawaleBammie:
U re very selfish and insensitive, u disgust me. Once again u re very selfish to the core.

Sebi u have gained wat u want, ur retirement plan(the kids) that is how most of ur mates are doing na. Congratulations ma.

Now u can divorce him after u have used him to gain wat u want.

Am pretty sure u had nothing wen u guys married, at 19, u were practically a burden to him, what a poor man he is...

Now after carrying ur burden all these years this is what u have to pay him in return abi.

The young man laboured to put u in, take care of u and am sure ur family would have bn beneficiaries of his benevolence but wen its tym for u to build the great future u guys needed, wen its tym for u to join hands with him to build the empire for your children u suddenly want to back out just for the freedom of receiving random dicks.

Madam u can go, just tell the poor man ur plan and stop maltreating him emotionally before they acuse him of domestic violence (as a result of ur maltreatment towards him)

How i wished he had turned u to baby mama from the onset, how i wished, wen he met u den in his mind he has found a future partner , future partner my foot.

Madam please file for divorce before u implicate the young ma, but am sure the universe has its way of locating everyone with his or her reward.









To be sincere, men shouldn't be marrying again, just give one or two random girls belle and drop out, if this is what they called marriage ooh, den men has no business with it, i just pity those who are kneeling down to propose

Am sure the man would have knelt down wen he wanted to propose to this deeperlife bible church goer ooh

Exactly. All african women are only affer their kids. Once they get those kids, even their husband becomes secondary. She might be a yoruba lady cos its their nature. But why bring the man into the agreement when you knew you were gonna opt out later? Dont worry, na your type dem dey swear for wey u go come move on and life starts to become unbearable for you, especially when your husband has been good.

See the little thing you counted that made you got tired of him...
Most women out there are praying to have a good husbsnd.
Yet you got one,and here you are
Complaining.
Every 80 out of 100 men nagged.this is not an excuse.
You nailed this man with your silly excuses.
You are the reason some men hate married..
If you could leave this man due to your lies well.
What if the man has stroke,you will kill him.
If you want a perfect marriage,go and marry jesus
You are a disgrace madam.

You just want to be free to have a taste of other dicks.. Just be plain.

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

This one Na mad woman. Pay no heed to her

advanceDNA:
what you describe doesn't sound bad..its as if you are saying he doesn't have right to be angry or upset..

u even said he hardly gets angry, like maybe three times a year... u sound like u don't love or respect him anymore becos he's too nice....

yes....a man that gets angry only 3 times a year is obviously very quiet and too nice ....and from my experience you women don't like nice guys because nice guys don't take you on a roller coaster type of marriage


... I think you are just bored...u married too early, so midlife crisis hit you too early as well...whats worse you married a guy that's not keeping you on the edge of your seat...

U want some excitement in your life...
The mistake you are making is that instead of rekindling that excitement with your man, you are already looking outside...

this is witchcraft..


it will not end well......

She doesn't know she's old..... which kinda men will be interested?? It may also be that she never wanted to get married in the first place but are being forced by their parents.....

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

u Dey crase for head.go meet ekueme singer husband for Abuja make she kill u.he’s single now I have his number to give u

Give a dog a bad name, if you want to hang it...

Jesus șef dey vex pass 3 times per year.

Just say you want some drama in your life. Freedom to LovePeddler around for a while.

It's your bed, so all up to you...

[quote author=janejjjjj5000 post=112173193]I am tired. I have a better view of marriage. He is not meeting up. My children are saying that the way he talks when upsets affects them. The children cry and he apologizes to all of us. I know I sound confused but I am just tired. I feel that my children will not be seeing this when we divorce. That is why I don't want the marriage anymore. I just want all round peace. I am tired. [/quote

Please take everything to God in prayers

janejjjjj5000:
I am tired. I have a better view of marriage. He is not meeting up. My children are saying that the way he talks when upsets affects them. The children cry and he apologizes to all of us. I know I sound confused but I am just tired. I feel that my children will not be seeing this when we divorce. That is why I don't want the marriage anymore. I just want all round peace. I am tired.

You entered marriage too early. This is a non issues. What you're looking for outside will destroy you forever.

Sanchez01:
She married too early. That's the problem here. This is often a thing with those who get married early. She is bored, wants independence and suddenly wants to be alone to explore. I'd say it's pretty normal.

I know someone who got married at 21, has three kids and now wants to live just because she wants to live life and never had the chance to while she was younger.

I dnt biliv in that, this is my opinion thou.

Wen wife not having external rivalry in her husband house (girlfriend or in-laws), she tends to fight husband and be her own rival.

If the man has one of two gfs now, she would be fighting those one off and give her husband peace.

anyicash:
You just want to be free to have a taste of other dicks.. Just be plain.

Not at 33...she doesn't hv time..... 35 is expiry....

DoctorOlasDesk:
I have friends and family members that we've all never argued. over 20-25 years of relationship

Oh come on! I too have acquaintances who I have never really argued with before, and that is because we are not close. We walk on shells around each other and that is why I refer to them as simply acquaintances because they don't know the real me except for the me I project when I am around them.

When humans are in relationship, one aspect of achieving closeness has to do with ironing out of differences between the individuals in the relationship. If you have never had to argue with someone you claim to be in relationship with, it means your relationship isn't even an intimate one to begin with.

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

Yes do not take rubbish. Freedom is good . Rubbish is bad Get divorced and move on

Say no to rubbish

JovialJune:
And not once was there misunderstandings and arguements?

Ok.

Misunderstanding, yes, arguments, none. Infact my closest friend and I had to separate cause the mum was suspecting us to be gay when she noticed in months staying together, we never ever argued or quarreled. Yes, he was leaving in the apartment cut out from the min building, so she could always eavesdrop/intrude on us. Such relationships do exist. I have many of such friendships.


Anyway, this lady here has seen it all in the relationship and the marriage now feels like a prison for her, they both need counselling and heraphy sessions

LyfeJennings:
Eni ti weyrey wa Lori e

Oga mi, inu kan n biyin anyhow ni. E ma binu si woman yen ejo

janejjjjj5000:
No, sir. We have not.

This is a good idea.

I just feel so tired and unmotivated to work on the marriage.

I can swear on my late father's grave that you're knacking another man

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

Obviously, you're seeing another man that's forming like an angel, richer and more caring than your husband,that's the main reason you want to opt out.

Not all that's glitter is gold

BigBashiru:
I like the bolded..

na so my brother

Kobojunkie:
Stop deceiving yourself!

When humans are in relationship, one aspect of achieving closeness has to do with ironing out of differences between the individuals in the relationship. If you have never had to argue with someone you claim to be in relationship with, it means your relationship isn't even an intimate one to begin with.

You that have nothing to do with your life besides endless arguements. I won't indulge you

Good day

I think you both got married early, you at 19 if calculations is right. Possibly you long for things you missed as a young lady before entering marriage, eg, exploring different blokos , going clubbing etc.
Anyway, I think your issue is still salvageable.
When last did you go on a vacation, just you and hubby. When couples stay together for such long time tension and pressure builds up.
If you can afford it, leave your children and take a 2 weeks holiday, go to buy emirates ticket to UK. Stop in Dubai for a week and then the following week in UK. Or use Turkish airline and do 1 week in turkey, 1 week in UK.
Stay in a nice hotels, if possible don't stress yourself with cooking. Just have good time with hubby, I assure you the love will be rekindled!

In case you guys have not noticed, the young woman got married about age 19. Clearly she is shortage of the fun that comes within 19year to 24 years of young ladies, now she is done giving birth and want to utilize her thirties to revisit what she missed during her twenties.

advanceDNA:
what you describe doesn't sound bad..its as if you are saying he doesn't have right to be angry or upset..

u even said he hardly gets angry, like maybe three times a year... u sound like u don't love or respect him anymore becos he's too nice....

yes....a man that gets angry only 3 times a year is obviously very quiet and too nice ....and from my experience you women don't like nice guys because nice guys don't take you on a roller coaster type of marriage


... I think you are just bored...u married too early, so midlife crisis hit you too early as well...whats worse you married a guy that's not keeping you on the edge of your seat...

U want some excitement in your life...
The mistake you are making is that instead of rekindling that excitement with your man, you are already looking outside...

this is witchcraft..


it will not end well......

Ladies are very complicated, fact when you are too nice to them, it becomes a problem.

...and from my experience you women don't like nice guys because nice guys don't take you on a roller coaster type of marriage[b][/b]