Nuelzi:
What exactly does this gender want?

Sorry to say this but if what you wrote up there is true then permit me to say that you don't really know what you want

- you pointed out these qualities that most men lack yet you don't want to hold onto him.

E be like say e get niqqa wey you dey eye somewhere na why you wan dropout

Nobody should quote me....na my mind I talk,I no stone person

It's fake story for sure.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

I'm also a Winner but I'll be the first to tell you that talk is bullshít and misleading. Psychologists will as a matter of fact tell you that there's always a high probability of conflict when two or more people occupy the same space/house. Successful marriages aren't about lack of arguments, they are about successfully overcoming such scenarios in unity. I remember the late F.R.A Williams kids saying they never heard their parents arguing, that doesn't mean it never happened, it means they did all arguments in private away from their kids ears. I suggest therapy like someone said and also, you'll need a heart to heart talk with oga telling him what you don't like when you have issues. I also strongly suggest important talks should be held in privacy. We've known what he did to piss you off but we don't know what you do to make him blow his top, it's a two way thing in arguments. After the therapy, take a two week vacation with oga even if it's Ghana or Dubai, drop the kids with your parents

[s]

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

[/s]

Do well to Leave as Soon as Possible. Go out and get and apartment .
Set of Confuse Gender...
Just tell Us ,his,business isn't moving as b4 instead of all this crap.
You will toil your life out for this gender and the kids they bore for you. When the choice to be funny you just can't imagine to what,extent they can go. She even said the flaring up is 2-3 times a year out of 365 days...
Fake story I will say.

janejjjjj5000:
I am tired. I have a better view of marriage. He is not meeting up. My children are saying that the way he talks when upsets affects them. The children cry and he apologizes to all of us. I know I sound confused but I am just tired. I feel that my children will not be seeing this when we divorce. That is why I don't want the marriage anymore. I just want all round peace. I am tired.

what are you waiting for? Pack and get out of that house, 50 virgins are waiting for you to pack out.

janejjjjj5000:
I am tired. I have a better view of marriage. He is not meeting up. My children are saying that the way he talks when upsets affects them. The children cry and he apologizes to all of us. I know I sound confused but I am just tired. I feel that my children will not be seeing this when we divorce. That is why I don't want the marriage anymore. I just want all round peace. I am tired.

But of course they will be seeing dicks hovering around their mama.. you think that's a better life for them?

SA25:
Alagbere. Olosho. Alainitelorun, immediately u leave d marriage. Next day is ur obituary. Idiot

Perfectly said!!! She is just foolish

DoctorOlasDesk:




When do you remain under the ministry of a man you consider a liar?

I am just there for now thinking of which church to change to...
I have not been to church for the past 8 months.
For now I worship the Almighty God in my house.

DoctorOlasDesk:



Misunderstanding, yes, arguments, none. Infact my closest friend and I had to separate cause the mum was suspecting us to be gay when she noticed in months staying together, we never ever argued or quarreled. Yes, he was leaving in the apartment cut out from the min building, so she could always eavesdrop/intrude on us. Such relationships do exist. I have many of such friendships.


Anyway, this lady here has seen it all in the relationship and the marriage now feels like a prison for her, they both need counselling and heraphy sessions

Lol what is the difference between misunderstanding and arguements if we should really look at it, cos there isn't much difference

The fact is you can't be in agreement with them all the time so there will definitely be exchange of words, that's why we are humans, cos it is bound to happen.

JovialJune:



Lol what is the difference between misunderstanding and arguements? The fact is you can't be in agreement with them all the time so there will definitely be exchange of words, that's why we are humans, cos it is bound to happen?

There is. Wow.

janejjjjj5000:
No, sir. We have not.

This is a good idea.

I just feel so tired and unmotivated to work on the marriage.

All u keep saying is u are tired!!!
Tired of what exactly??
Is there someone in the picture??
Your reasons are too lame to start considering opting out of the marriage. A marriage of 14 years & u wake up one morning to say u are tired for no just reason? My dad also scolded my mom in our presence while growing up. The kids already know the father is the head of the home, so it is not out of place if both of u don't agree in their presence at times. You both are humans.

Ebubu:
She wants to be single and flirting
Singlehood dey hungry am. Otherwise I don’t see why she’s ending her marriage for the flimsiest of excuse.

Contrary to what you may believe. Marriage isn't meant for everyone and not all single people flirt or bounce from one relationship to another. There are single folks out there who are single and free and happy at that.

candidbabe:


I am just there for now thinking of which church to change to...
I have not been to church for the past 8 months.
For now I worship the Almighty God in my house.

You're a case babe

Beremx:
Comparing his wrongs to rights which is in the ratio of 1:10, Madam you have a very good husband. If you are tired of the marriage, another woman will gladly enjoy your loving husband.

She said that she just want to be "free," single and train her children; she is not saying the truth. She already compared her husband with another man and she is now interested in that man. MOST SINGLE MOTHERS STILL HAVE MEN IN THEIR LIVES!

Sorry madam. i think you are the one that have a problem here. Go and see a counsellor or psychiatrist ASAP

Omo!

As life no really balance, this lady could leave the man and still get someone better.

CSNg:

Kuku tell us that you have gotten a síde-cóck

Contrary to what you may believe. Marriage isn't meant for everyone and not all single people flirt or bounce from one relationship to another. There are single folks out there who are single and free and happy at that.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

This woman Wan change penis shikena. She already probably has a man whom she's been giving the cookie to or about to, but she wants to do so without guilt.

You attend winners and papa said he's never argued with mama for 40 years of marriage and you believe it? Say it's even true sef, are you mama? Is your husband papa? Are you without fault? Because it's something that definitely gets him angry... Something you do or the kids do but you don't want to take charge of.

Lastly you said your kids cry, when he flares but he apologizes afterwards to them. However the kids are saying it's affecting them? Let me guess... You've been putting ideas in their heads about how their dad isn't a perfect man abi? Making them not to see the good sides of the man but comparing him to the imaginable man you want them to see.

You're a very selfish and wicked woman and that poor man should avoid a person like you. In your words " you just want to be single and free and take care of YOUR children".

If I were that man, you will leave that marriage and I'll take those kids from you, so you can go be "single and happy" alone, in peace! Nonsense!!

Viltron:
Marriage is tough and I don't believe that we're all supposed to be married.

If you're tired, leave and be aware that, you'll face the consequences of any decision you take.

You are actually right about that.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

At 33 u are still this gullible!
The bold is not possible!
Two adults must disagree to agree, it is only natural.

CountVersailles:

And you still go to the church? Dem use chain hold you there?

.
I have not been to church for 8 months now
I worship the Almighty in my house

As you no get sense, you always argue when you and your husband are with the kids. why don't you call your husband to the bedroom and both of you talk like normal adults.
Make your marriage work; spice it, be happy and love yourself, your husband and children.
Stop complaining.

TenQ:

Aren't you making a basic mistake about "your" children!?

The children are not "yours" but BOTH of you. You both have responsibilities over the children. If you have concerns about "your" children, does he also have any concerns?

Have you considered the damage divorce will do to your children? Do you think they hate their father?

Repair your marriage as EVERY marriage in the world have their own different challenge!

When she said her children,she might be right,the children might not be for the man, they might be another product of DNA gone wrong.

Fir the first time in my life... I fear marriage

Your a proud person,you don't want him to shout at you, the reason you attach here about your children is not the real reason,, your the bad egg in the marriage, work on yourself, check your single girls friends you keep, there re some friends you need to cut off, if the man shout atu in front of your kids. Take the kids to their room and come out,.. Haba your the problem in the marriage that boy your eyeing outside, your eye will clear soon uote author=janejjjjj5000 post=112173007]Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.[/quote]

Angelfrost:
Sue for divorce, forfeit your kids (no court will ever give you custody on such flimsy grounds), and go live the Perfect single life free of drama!

Normally, I would break down the way to work around your husband's weakness, but why should I?!!! Your eyes are clearly outside your home!

So, quit the pretence and go enjoy yourself out there!

Marriage is not for everyone! Don't die a prisoner or slave in a loveless marriage!

Why should she have to forfeit the kids in divorce?

Why does the picture or a perfect single life exclude her kids? Are you suggesting that single individuals out there who adopted kids aren't living a perfect single life or what?

the man no get dickson abi?

Fiscus105:



I dnt biliv in that, this is my opinion thou.

Wen wife not having external rivalry in her husband house (girlfriend or in-laws), she tends to fight husband and be her own rival.

If the man has one of two gfs now, she would be fighting those one off and give her husband peace.

like you said it is your opinion and I don't have to disagree or agree with you.

Women who marry early enough mostly get bored in their mid 30s. The husband of the person I cited sleeps around and she told me one time that she would sleep around as revenge. Truth is, you can't take this away from them. That's just nature's way of reminding them that they can't skip the process. The ones who don't have the nerve to leave will most likely cheat.

So, if as a man you marry a younger woman, say at 19, 20 - 25. Note that that 33-35 which is about 14-10 years in marriage would be the height. The thirst for exploring (men, women or ideas), independence all over like it's their first, wanting to be alone and getting bored of marriage kicks in. I have a lot of women in this bracket around the same age and almost in the same "predicament". I don't want to think it is coincidence.

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

Pele. I think you need a vacation and some time away from all your people at home. At 33 you have been married for 14yrs! Phew! I feel stressed thinking about that alone. My dear since he knows he’s wrong and apologizes for it, I think he needs counseling on his anger. Don’t throw this guy away, he’s a good one. To be so good and responsible after being married at 25 is impressive. Not too many of such men out there. Take time off, relax and suggest he get help with his anger. You both can find someone you are comfortable with and please be there for him through this. . See a professional counselor. He obviously was never taught how to manage his frustration.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

Woman leave papa and mama alone. And I bet to tell you that, you are not being told the truth. You can not be in a marriage and not argue. Its impossible. Your mama and papa may tell you that as they grow arguing stopped. Yes, I can agree to that. But that they never "argued" in 40 years of marriage?

My sister this is far from the truth.

Now, let face your marriage. There is no marriage that is same in the world, so stop comparing your home to others. Live your own marriage and life and enjoy it. Comparison brings sadness.

Also, learn to crack jokes with your husband. Especially when you see he is tensed up. Men pass through a lot of pressure, just like women too. We are not all that strong, we breakdown too. So, when you suspect that try to make a little joke, smile and do what you do, he is your husband, you know how you do it. When the tension is over, and he is calm. You can talk about whatever.

Lastly, you marriage is very very healthy. Don't send your self into the crazy wild world. You will regret it.

You have a responsible, faithful, loving, caring and dutiful man who only gets angry 3 times a year. And you want out? Who does not get angry? This Nigeria alone is enough to give a responsible man temporary madness.

Leave that Papa and Mama alone. Live your own unique life. And bless God cos you are very lucky.

Grass isn't always green on the other side. Don't make yourselves vulnerable. Its a very crazy world right now. And that man does not deserve that kind of wicked treatment. Roll up your sleeves and work on your home. Its a beautiful home. Many women out there wandering the streets or in abusive homes will kill to have your kind of home.

Still young in marriage but eyes don see plenty.

Wish you the best.

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

MADAM,
WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?
LETS KNOW YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
STOP WATCHING THESE BOLLYWOOD AND NOLLYWOOD FILMS
IF YOU GO EXPERIMENT WITH YOUR LIFE,THAT GUY WOULD NOT TAKE YPU BACK AND I WILL NOT BLAME HIM.
YOUR EYES DEY OUTSIDE

janejjjjj5000:
Thank you, sir.

I think I will go for counseling. He has told me he is willing to go for counseling. He is begging me not to end the marriage.

you don't need counseling,what you need is total rehabilitation. They should take you yaba left where chronic mad people are.
I don't blame you, I blame the simp you marry as a husband.
Just gerrout of that house,go and meet the animal that is promising you heaven on earth.
Olosho.