Nuelzi:
What exactly does this gender want?

Sorry to say this but if what you wrote up there is true then permit me to say that you don't really know what you want

- you pointed out these qualities that most men lack yet you don't want to hold onto him.

E be like say e get niqqa wey you dey eye somewhere na why you wan dropout

Nobody should quote me....na my mind I talk,I no stone person

janejjjjj5000:
Thank you so much, sir.

Do you think the kids might be needing therapy too?

They cry when this happens. Especially the two oldest ones. The last two are twins and less than 2 so they don't know anything.

I am just so confused. I don't discuss my home with third parties so I just felt like coming here to vent because I feel I cannot cope alone any longer.

janejjjjj5000:
Thank you, sir.

I think I will go for counseling. He has told me he is willing to go for counseling. He is begging me not to end the marriage.

OlawaleBammie:


U re very selfish and insensitive, u disgust me. Once again u re very selfish to the core.

Sebi u have gained wat u want, ur retirement plan(the kids) that is how most of ur mates are doing na. Congratulations ma.

Now u can divorce him after u have used him to gain wat u want.

Am pretty sure u had nothing wen u guys married, at 19, u were practically a burden to him, what a poor man he is...

Now after carrying ur burden all these years this is what u have to pay him in return abi.

The young man laboured to put u in, take care of u and am sure ur family would have bn beneficiaries of his benevolence but wen its tym for u to build the great future u guys needed, wen its tym for u to join hands with him to build the empire for your children u suddenly want to back out just for the freedom of receiving random dicks.

Madam u can go, just tell the poor man ur plan and stop maltreating him emotionally before they acuse him of domestic violence (as a result of ur maltreatment towards him)

How i wished he had turned u to baby mama from the onset, how i wished, wen he met u den in his mind he has found a future partner , future partner my foot.

Madam please file for divorce before u implicate the young ma, but am sure the universe has its way of locating everyone with his or her reward.









To be sincere, men shouldn't be marrying again, just give one or two random girls belle and drop out, if this is what they called marriage ooh, den men has no business with it, i just pity those who are kneeling down to propose

Am sure the man would have knelt down wen he wanted to propose to this deeperlife bible church goer ooh

JovialJune:



Did you really say the bolded? Fighting off husband's two girlfriends will give the man peace? How old are you

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

Fiscus105:



If you have married, you would have understood my point, though not applicable for all o.

Juliearth:
Okay, you want her to leave because her husband seem to have anger issues which he displays twice a year? If children were not involved, I would have prescribed divorce, unfortunately, that is not the case. Do you know what divorce does to children? This situation can be managed.

Topmaike007:
attend RCCG and listen to daddy G.O and let him tell you about Mummy and her wahala before they became born again and yet the marriage did not crash.

Aunty this is the second time I am begging you for the sake of those children please don't live your husband

Klass99:


I agree, but men are not pressured or emotionally blackmailed into early marriages, the same way women are, with the biological clock narrative.

Additionally, when these early marriages happen a man is mostly established already, with a good income source via business or salaried employment, he has a career of his own, a more exposed life and mind (again, not from sex but having experienced life on his terms) it feels like women are more short changed in this regard.

In the event of early marriages, it is also women who give up more for the sake of their marriages and children. You can find couples who are 6 or 10 years in marriage and in that time a man would have completed his Masters, possibly changed jobs for a better one or received a promotion at work, because he self developed.

While a woman may have remained the same way she entered that marriage, because the responsibilities of marriage/children, would have taken over her hopes and dreams to be more, besides a wife and mother. It takes really strong and determined women to still forge ahead and achieve their personal goals beyond marriage.

Kobojunkie:
This woman alone knows the extent of what her mental can handle and what she cannot. Her children are already struggling under the weight of what seems emotional abuse and going back to my own childhood, I understand exactly what they may be going through.

Emotional abuse lives with children well into even their old age. It does not end when the abuse ends and it may live with them for their entire lives if something isn't properly done about it.

Divorce, on the other hand, does not cause even a 100th of the damage that abuse does. And it does not breed a cycle in the way emotional damage can. A child raised in a divorced home is likely to snap back through some therapy and introduction to an abuse free environment. But a child who had to endure abuse will need several years of therapy and may not snap completely out of the damage until much much later in life.

My parents got divorced and I am a happier healthier being for it.

nsesam:
You haven't told us what you do to provoke him

Juliearth:
Lucky you! I still maintained that this situation can be salvaged. Please do not try any further to impose your view on me.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

janejjjjj5000:
I am tired. I have a better view of marriage. He is not meeting up. My children are saying that the way he talks when upsets affects them. The children cry and he apologizes to all of us. I know I sound confused but I am just tired. I feel that my children will not be seeing this when we divorce. That is why I don't want the marriage anymore. I just want all round peace. I am tired.

janejjjjj5000:
I am tired. I have a better view of marriage. He is not meeting up. My children are saying that the way he talks when upsets affects them. The children cry and he apologizes to all of us. I know I sound confused but I am just tired. I feel that my children will not be seeing this when we divorce. That is why I don't want the marriage anymore. I just want all round peace. I am tired.

janejjjjj5000:


He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this.I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

BigBashiru:


At your last sentence, I agree....

The concept of exploring has no basis in biology and instead is based on greed.... most "explorers" eventually regret it.... all ppl get from Exploration is sex but not compatibility....

Even if she didn't explore, she will still be a victim of "choice paradox"....(Google it) which will still lead to her getting married at 30....

Kobojunkie:
Love is not a requirement for a "good" marriage and we are talking of "good" by man's standard here. Has never been.

Oh, I know what love is.

Sanchez01:

Exploration is not in any way tied to greed. It is a human thing and depending on our personality, it is loud or reserved. Most explorers often understand life better as they have experienced different perspectives.

In human relations, exploring means learning, experiencing and becoming a better judge of character. However, like every human decision, exploring might come with regrets which we definitely tuck away as "pasts". Exploration is not just about sex and I don't agree that it is sex an no compatibility. Demisexuals like myself will always disagree about this.

I disagree with the choice paradox assertion. It is not tied to age and is not responsible for people marrying late. One is likely the consequences of choice if one suffers from indecision.

I personally wouldn't consider anyone under the age bracket of 26 downwards as ripe for marriage. The might have aged but sometimes, the consciousness and epiphany of marriage hasn't hit home. Some would speak "marriagy", sound smart and seem ready but their subconscious, more often than not is still very much open to roaming, adventuring and living life. If you take those things away in marriage as a man. Ten years or so is all they have to wake up and realise that they want more and want away.

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

jaxxy:
Don't know what y'all think bt I can marry sm1 that don't love me in a genuine sense. it won't happen. I will rather have baby mamas like king Solomon than marry for the wrong reason.

it's my philosophy.

Kobojunkie:
1. What are you rambling about merit for? What has merit to do with marriage?.

2. Stop lying! There are lots of people out there, some unmarried, who know peace enough for this world. The world does not resolve around the delusions in your head abeg!

If you are alive and without peace it means you are still searching in the wrong places. Continue searching for it.

3.