I Am Tired Of My Marriage - Family (16)

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Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by space9880: 7:30pm On Apr 22, 2022

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

so what about you, do you say hurtful words to your husband too?

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by space9880: 7:35pm On Apr 22, 2022

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

Your papa is lying

1 Like

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by AjiBussu(m): 7:35pm On Apr 22, 2022

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

No offense intended, you may be an adult but you're still a confused child. Get a lawyer and file for a divorce so that you don't kill someone's son. Go and be with that small boy deceiving you now After 5 years of divorce, you will look and see how stewpid you must have been. Papa and Mama my a*s.

Marriage is indeed overated. Guys we need to wise up, this gender entities are very cold and ruthless.

1 Like

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by ss1930(m): 7:59pm On Apr 22, 2022

If you are tired, pls end the marriage. That if he is not even planning same

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by smiliyB(f): 8:14pm On Apr 22, 2022

Nuelzi:
What exactly does this gender want?

Sorry to say this but if what you wrote up there is true then permit me to say that you don't really know what you want

- you pointed out these qualities that most men lack yet you don't want to hold onto him.

E be like say e get niqqa wey you dey eye somewhere na why you wan dropout

Nobody should quote me....na my mind I talk,I no stone person

What I get from her is that she married early and didn't enjoy life as a single person, I mean adult. Maybe that's why she's a bit tired but op you'll be fine last last

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Emanodimo(m): 8:16pm On Apr 22, 2022

nedekid:
I think you both got married early, you at 19 if calculations is right. Possibly you long for things you missed as a young lady before entering marriage, eg, exploring different blokos , going clubbing etc.
Anyway, I think your issue is still salvageable.
When last did you go on a vacation, just you and hubby. When couples stay together for such long time tension and pressure builds up.
If you can afford it, leave your children and take a 2 weeks holiday, go to buy emirates ticket to UK. Stop in Dubai for a week and then the following week in UK. Or use Turkish airline and do 1 week in turkey, 1 week in UK.
Stay in a nice hotels, if possible don't stress yourself with cooking. Just have good time with hubby, I assure you the love will be rekindled!

Okay, who's paying for the cost?....

Is it the wife or the man?

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Ishilove: 8:16pm On Apr 22, 2022

Story is as fake as Tontoh Dikeh's new waist

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Omam4life: 8:16pm On Apr 22, 2022

Stop provoking him in front of the kids then.
If u know what makes him angry stop doing it

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by nwamarcel: 8:21pm On Apr 22, 2022

bukatyne:
And she sheepishly believe it
@bold:

Permit me to laugh

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by BigBashiru: 8:23pm On Apr 22, 2022

Hassanmaye:
You say 35 is expiry? Some women in 40 still get boyfriends

Even women in their 50s hv boyfriends too.... there will always be demand for sex.....

But they are not preferred....only guys without younger options go for such....

But I won't argue with u.... if u want 40s and 50s u free....

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by SanctifiedSista(f): 8:24pm On Apr 22, 2022

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

Be careful wat u wish for dear grin

Sure anoda man no dey the picture?
Argument is simple tto deal with
Warn the children to leave their presence wen he flares up..simple**

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by SanctifiedSista(f): 8:24pm On Apr 22, 2022

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

Be careful wat u wish for dear grin

Sure anoda man no dey the picture?
Argument is simple tto deal with
Warn the children to leave their presence wen he flares up..simple**listen to koinonia messages on YouTube to mature as a believer

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Titaniumental: 8:27pm On Apr 22, 2022

cayorday89:
In her case "o ni ori, o tun ni fila" she just want to do away with either of the Fila or Ori.

Ayo ju tii baa ję...

Exactly comrade

1 Like

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Kobojunkie: 8:33pm On Apr 22, 2022

reddingtonblack:
1. My friends standards are fixed, God created marriage and gave the manual not oyinbo, people are bound to evolve buh deviating from the marriage conventions is why there is so much problem.

2. In Op cases i don't see where the toxicity is, maybe you need to read her comments before rambling some more. She is just being petite, can any of us here swear we didnt grow up seein our parent argue or abuse one another so weytin hapoen to us, to the best of her knowledge leaving the marriage & kids is less traumatizing to the kids than the tantrums she loathe

3. TBH ! can two people cohabitate without quarrels, where tongue & teeth fight is hurting one another even inevitable. some of you still need to be under una parent receiving sense.

4. I pray OP leaves inside and come outside cos only then she fit no fantasy full outside, as for the husband may God compensate him with a woman deserving his love.

1. The same God that created marriage is also written to have cursed marriage in Genesis 3 vs 16 aka made it unholy, so I suggest what standard you are busy bantering about. undecided

2. From careful examination, it seems OP is hinting at presence of what she deems emotional/verbal abuse in her marriage. The fact that that even goes as far as revealing the husband apologizes to both her and the kids afterwards, should cause one to pay attention but the majority here gloss over that pretending instead that She is married to a good man since he apologizes afterwards. Also the children complaining of the abuse to her indicates there might indeed be reason behind her concern. undecided

3. I grew up seeing my parents argue but I also was on the receiving end of emotional and verbal abuse from my dad so I am able to tell the difference between an argument and emotional/verbal abuse. They are not one and the same even though to the uninformed outsider they may seem the same things. undecided

4. What you call fantasy outside, some of us know as peace of mind, and continue to live it without regret. Your marriage certificate is worth nothing in the end if your mind never experiences peace, happiness or joy by it, and not referring to the faked kind of peace, happiness, and joy that is typical of marriage folks..see Facebook and Instagram for lots of the fakee. undecided

1 Like

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Kobojunkie: 8:35pm On Apr 22, 2022

Algold:
Spiritually you are possess, physically you are sick...
Normal routine everyday makes one tired and frustrated.
Crave for new adventures and set a goal for your self.

Stop spewing nonsense abeg! lipsrsealed

1 Like

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by imustsaymymindo: 8:36pm On Apr 22, 2022

This is mature. Your husband is a great and mature man too. I am sure you learnt a lot from him. Happy married life.

janejjjjj5000:
Thank you to everyone who made out time to respond. The good, the bad, the insults... I am grateful.

We have decided to go for therapy. My husband is very sorry. Right now, he is researching good therapists we can contact to help. He wants us to work on the issue together.

I started this thread earlier today because I was feeling lost. We had the issue three days back and it's been bothering me even though he apologized immediately. Like I said, I have never discussed my marriage with anyone. This is the first time in 14 years but opening up here has really helped. It is good to hear different views. I thank all of you. All your comments (even the insults) have been helpful. Thank you all for giving me counsel.

1 Like

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Kobojunkie: 8:37pm On Apr 22, 2022

nenyewrites:
It's people that wants to get stuffed that do. Others can just enjoy praise and worship and go back to the hostel to rest and gist. Life no hard.

Enjoy praise and worship to what end kwanu? What for? undecided

Go back to the hostel to rest and gist this while she has 4 kids with her to worry about?, undecided

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by cle62000(m): 8:38pm On Apr 22, 2022

You made reference to winners chapel and Papa and Mama but you fail to understand how that happens, let me take your mind back to the Papa stuff, a preacher asked him "so you mean you haven't shout at each other for the past 25yrs, do you mean you guys doesn't step on each other's toes"? And Papa replied I am standing here and she's standing there, why would we step on each other's toes, he further explained I know what to do and I do it, she knows what to do and she does it, why should we have argument or shouting situation, now let's bring it down, your husband shouts on you, what led to it? What did you do? Don't tell us he just shouted, except he has a mental issue. So most times when things are wrong we tend to blame everyone else or someone else but self. It's good when we look at issues honestly and critically and ask what actually did I do wrong and how would I have done it better that made him to react this way, cause for every reaction there's a cause effect.
My dear you have a very good husband you may not know now until you loose it and then start wishing you didn't, do not let what you hear, read or see deceive you.
May God guild you but much more guild your self by thinking right and heed to good counsel
God bless you

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

3 Likes

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by dheolexaone(f): 8:38pm On Apr 22, 2022

Dear, calm down.

There always come to a point in a human's life that one will tend to break it at the peak point which is exactly the stage you are in right now.
You are in your 33's and want to quit at an early age without looking at your children. There is no report of domestic violence nor infidelity.

So why not lift down your chipped shoulders.
The next train out there would be worse.
Considering what children are becoming this days, please, don't let your children see you as an hiding umbrella. If ur husband discipline them, do same so they can desist from such.
Or you call them as a mother and talk to them after their father's discipline.

Life ain't what you think on the outside bae, maintain your chill and manage your home.
No marriage is perfect.

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by waseun007: 8:42pm On Apr 22, 2022

One thing tells me you are cheating on him, if not, i wonder why you dont want that marriage of yours to work, you want to just jump out for this single untenable reason, have you tried calling his rapt attention to it, have you used the power of your vagina on him yet, so as to condition him from that unruly behaviour, maybe it is more than meets the eye, i will like you to expatiate further..

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Kobojunkie: 8:42pm On Apr 22, 2022

SeunTheOwner:
Then train yourself and the children to learn prompt obedience to their fathers instructions.
It is only disobedience that could cause a man to flare at his children

Train herself and her kids to endure the what may amount to emotonal/verbal abuse without complaint? undecided

Any wonder why the vast majority of Nigerians struggle with social anxiety issues and are unable to fit in well once they leave the Nigerian shores? undecided

I blame your ancestors for teaching you that the way around abuse is to sit tight and accept it. undecided

1 Like

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by HitSong: 8:51pm On Apr 22, 2022

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

It will end in tears for you.

I hope you get the divorce and end up very miserable.

Na only your children I dey pity in advance.

Very discontented human being

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Electrochemistry(m): 8:52pm On Apr 22, 2022

There's more to this! Madam, what ain't you telling us please huh

1 Like

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by nedekid: 9:01pm On Apr 22, 2022

Emanodimo:
Okay, who's paying for the cost?....

Is it the wife or the man?

Interesting question.
Well I said if they can afford it. Naturally in our naija context, it is usually the man that pays. Besides from the ladies writeup, I suspect she might not have a career. (I might be wrong).
In my own case we generally share the cost, madam might do the visa processing fees, I do the tickets, she could do the hotel reservations on booking.com, while I do the expenses eg feeding, shopping money, car rentals etc.
It just flows naturally, it was in our earlier years as a married couple I use to foot all the bills. Now it only comes naturally she does what she can.

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by TPound(m): 9:04pm On Apr 22, 2022

Some have head,but have now cap...
Some have cap but have no head...
We have head, and we have cap...
Glory be to thee oh lord... grin

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by aminusodiq(m): 9:08pm On Apr 22, 2022

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

you married at 19. Its normal if you are tired

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by aminusodiq(m): 9:09pm On Apr 22, 2022

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

you will regret if you divorce. You will regret alot .

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by aneka785(m): 9:11pm On Apr 22, 2022

Thick twice. No do something wet you go later regret. At least he still poses other fine qualities. Work hard - though not easy - to rekindle your love for him

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by nedekid: 9:15pm On Apr 22, 2022*

Hassanmaye:
You are speaking from experience, but they most have money no sensible man will look at a woman in her 40s

Ha, some men eh, both young and old like milfs.
My paddy who is 52 and as randy as hell, cannot look at a lady below 35. He claims young ladies do not know how to take care of themselves. They give you VD, they carry belle, the desturb you for 1phone 40, they beep any how unlike older chicks.
Some yeye young boys too prefer older women especially married women, widows and devorced.
Those days I knew 2 guys that is only women that tie rapper they can nack. As in you must commot rapper from your waist before it will exite them. Lolz

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by rickyboss333: 9:16pm On Apr 22, 2022

Lol, d only thing I like about this lady is that she is truthful, apart from that, she is actually confused. No offense, but u really need to see a psychiatrist cos what u think u want is not what a normal human being should want.

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by buzorcharles(m): 9:20pm On Apr 22, 2022

Abeg stop stressing this nice man. Leave him alone let him go find some peace.

Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Dextre(m): 9:25pm On Apr 22, 2022

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

Ehn dey go na

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