Jeon:
I KNOW SAY NAH DELTA, ESAN OR IGBO...
THEM NO DY TAKE THEIR DAUGHTERS PLAY, ESPECIALLY IF YOU NO PAY THE NECESSARY PAYMENTS FOR HER [DAUGHTERS ] HEAD.

na for everywhere oh, same thing happened to my bro who married a Yoruba woman

Alexgeneration:

Google the meaning of bastard.

In Igboland, if you didn't marry the girl, the children don't belong to you.

What if the woman didn't marry the man

The child doesn't belong to the woman

Op one simple prayer I ve for u is simple, may such happen to ur sister, n may d guy dump her n just bury her as u want to do to ur girlfriend, if ur answer is amen may it be so ,but if it is d opposite , u just go n do d marriage rites, n burial rights, even if u had married from ur place u would still do these things, cus it is everywhere o! Nobody go loose him daughter to a boyfriend who has not married her n il keep quiet.

OP, from your response from people's comments, u seem to be rude. You want advice, but u don't want to disclose her tribe. Its understandable that you're in pains, having lost her...but u need to do the needful. It may not cost u much..it's just a matter of dialogue and understanding between her family and yours. I already know the tribe of the girl.

I don't know you religious inclinations, but one thing is sure, dis life is mysterious. Pls, don't be stubborn..approach this with maturity.
In the tribe of this girl, if u don't have any consensus or agreement with her family, the boy is not yours. Secondly, after u bury her in your way...THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES. Take it or leave it.pp

StilmaVsBorn2w:

No I won't

you've made up your mind on what to do, why did you then come here for advice? You might have to give up the custody of the boy

Then why seeking for an advice.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

No I won't

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Initial gra gra bah? Come and force me

Guy you're a Boody b*stard how I wish I know you and that young girl personally I for torture you KILLER!!

Marry her corpse does nt mean they want u to keep the dead body as a wife,they only want u to pay her traditional bride price....
i knw tyms are hard and u going thru alot dis period,bt u jst have to abide by their will unless u got another way to sort tinz out....

Veke90:
Ahsh

Scam scam scam
This guy is a chronic scammer.
Always changing username after the mods blocks his account.

Makanaki127:
Sorry to ask why are they demanding you marry her,is it because she bore you a son,or what ?
Okay what about if you 2 were just living together as boyfriend and girlfriend with no child,before this incident happen,will they still force you to come and do the necessary thing ?[color=#006600][/color]

You are presumed a kidnapper and murderer.
You guys do not know the risks you are taking in keeping someone's daughter under your roof. When push goes to shoves matter changes.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

Guy u see what short cut to matraige dey do.U dey Cohabit and u think is matraige.Guy is a normal culture in many tribes as u marry the corpse,if u truly love her,is a way of honouring the lady in death.
Guy if u truly love her u do it.Yes that boy won't be urs till u do it

The culture is common in many tribes witnessed it in AkwaIbom so same in other tribes.Forget my mama say my papa say,if u love her honour her,honour your son,U can beg family u are broke,and the custom be reduced as par expenses,but doing it u must,don't allow Stange dreams besiege u at night.
Wish u all the best but in Culture no Lawyer can save u ohhh.
Cheers bro.when sex dey sweet Na better prick and experience dey cause am,so as yakata don come,bear it.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

The lady you’re talking about where is she from akwa ibom

Felimax:


Some men just lack sense. Hear yourself. So if that is your sister that is how you will walk to the morgue to go and carry her? Nor worry, dey there dey smart. Your head go soon correct by the time we finish with you.

I have one simple advise for you. Hurry now to the family with either your dad or the eldest man in your family or anybody that can stand in that regard, go with some cash and schnapps.

Take this time now as a matter of urgency to go inform the family officially of the latest about their daughter most especially if this is happening around Delta State.

If you like do, you like refuse.

shut up

MARKone:


Lawyer won't save you here. You can't claim the child, and also be talking about burial rites when you have not paid the bride price of the mother. This is tradition and no one is forcing you. It's not as if you are marrying the corpse. They won't allow you take the child.

Don't mind him. Even the lawyers herein know what is at stake and must be laughing at his stupidity. That's why none have volunteered any legal advise for him.

He knows what do. Let him do the needful.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

Sometimes we 4get we are Africans, we have laws and customs which has stood the test of time no point trying to apply a western law to solve a local problem, do the needful and live a happy life. You got to follow tradition and buy the few things needed to give the woman's family rest and yours rest too. If your boy got taken from you and you go to the police they will tell you go and settle its a family issue which rightful it is.This happened to a good friend of mine and he has to deal with it.GO AND PAY THE MONEY. You probably buy few drinks and Kola and prayers offered game over.No one is happy to take that money at death but the deed is done.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I informed them for the burial arrangements not for marriage ceremony

suddenly!
So you now have money for burial?? Wallahi no escape route, it might cost you upto 1m to do her traditional right,no lawyer will involve himself into this, prepare your face that you will also receive serious panel beating including the people that will follow...

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

Omo this matter deep oo...naxo I date one fine Igbo babe during NYSC I no tell her before I japa base on something like this that I've heard...I reach my papa house she still dey cry for my neck say she no fit forget me like that...my parents also advised me concerning it I dey do strong head say I fit marry her...thank God she has finally moved on with her life now tho...nothing go make me near any babe wey no be my tribe again even oyinbo sef I no want...our Yoruba tradition don do me

Validated:

You are presumed a kidnapper and murderer.
You guys do not know the risks you are taking in keeping someone's daughter under your roof. When push goes to shoves matter changes.

� �

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

The other day I posted something about is not always suitable getting married from akwa ibom, let them get married to there selves that are very wicked people here were insulting me now una dey see abi

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Your just been rude and arrogant, I guess your still a teenager.
No More response to you

you just defined yourself

oluwaseyi0:


What if the woman didn't marry the man

The child doesn't belong to the woman

If you don't marry the woman, the children doesn't belong to you. They belong to the girl's family.

lendahand:
you've made up your mind on what to do, why did you then come here for advice? You might have to give up the custody of the boy

the guy is rude,and don't want to listen to anybody yet he came here to seek 4 advice....

Jeon:
I KNOW SAY NAH DELTA, ESAN OR IGBO...
THEM NO DY TAKE THEIR DAUGHTERS PLAY, ESPECIALLY IF YOU NO PAY THE NECESSARY PAYMENTS FOR HER [DAUGHTERS ] HEAD.

Yes u are right, almost all the tribes in Delta do this.

emonis88:
Op one simple prayer I ve for is simple, may such happen to ur sister, n may d guy dump her n just bury her as u want to do to ur girlfriend, if u answer is amen may it be so ,but if it is d opposite , u just go n do d marriage rites, n burial rights, even if u had married from ur place u would still do these things, cus it is everywhere o! Nobody go loose him daughter to a boyfriend who has not married her n il keep quiet.

wetin concern the sister for this matter? Why must she suffer this much for a useless brother........

kaymart:

Is Ur uncle Igbo himself?

I am igbo brother...

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

My deepest condolences bro. It’s really sad to hear what you’re going through. You need to fight to keep your son. I hope you can take good care of him though. You should persist on not marrying her corpse and propose some other acceptable rights be performed. My 2 cents!

It happened to a family friend of mine. The woman had three children for the man and had not paid the dowry. The eldest of the children then was like 35years. The woman's family know the man very well even the mother in-law do visit them but the man never visited the woman's village.
The narrative changed when the woman got sick and died. The man was asked to marry the corpse and given tasks to do before their daughter can be buried. It was the children that went begging their mother's family to be soft with their dad. They reduced itbut i think the father still paid the dowry of the woman....

Omo, fear catch me

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

This don't scare me, I don't believe a man can harm me this way or my family.
I can't Marry her corpse

Listen, you don't know me o. But how i wish you would listen to sound counsel and save your life.. I won't say more than that !

toyoson0:


You can't be serious, consummate which marriage with a corpse. ���

Believe me, these people do it. They know what they do, there are thousands of them on Nairaland.

Validated:

You are presumed a kidnapper and murderer.
You guys do not know the risks you are taking in keeping someone's daughter under your roof. When push goes to shoves matter changes.

This is very serious,50% of Nigeria youth especially the male prefer keeping a girl in their house,while planning to go and marry her someday,not really knowing what the consequences are If she dies,hmmmmmm

Timekeeper452:
The advises on this thread are just weird, he should go ahead to marry a corpse because the family of the corpse wants it. Bro involve a lawyer.

He is proving stronghead to them, that is why them wan put am for tight corner.... If he calm down, reason with the lady family, he will only pay her bride price and some other requirements, then they bury the lady.... he can even sort it with money, and they will collect anything he gives them, because they would also not want thier child to linger on in the mortuary.. Even the lawyer you want to involve, if the lawyer is to be in this kinda shoe, he will go and settle the family, he no go gree sue, because lawyer knows that nothing like juju in a law court..
On a normal, if a legally married wife dies, there are some requirements and obligations to be fulfilled before she is buried, not to talk of a live in lover....

Op, I feel your pains and my registered condolence for your loss, that being said the truth is the truth, you were living with another man's daughter for more than 3 years because I sure know the relationship is more than that, you should have done the needful at least doing something no matter how small on her. At this juncture please see with the elder brother of the deceased in a calm way, ask the best way to go about this, I believe you may have a soft landing from the family members.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.