celestine2015:
OP, from your response from people's comments, u seem to be rude. You want advice, but u don't want to disclose her tribe. Its understandable that you're in pains, having lost her...but u need to do the needful. It may not cost u much..it's just a matter of dialogue and understanding between her family and yours. I already know the tribe of the girl.

I don't know you religious inclinations, but one thing is sure, dis life is mysterious. Pls, don't be stubborn..approach this with maturity.
In the tribe of this girl, if u don't have any consensus or agreement with her family, the boy is not yours. Secondly, after u bury her in your way...THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES. Take it or leave it.pp

You people shouldn't counsel him again. He will die untimely and won't live long

DryMouth:

What nonsense are you pple typing?
So you are telling him to go marry a corpse?

Omo! Omo!! Omo!!!

What nonsense are u writing man.

What they are saying is that,since u didn't marry her by paying her dowry when she was alive,then now that she is dead,u will pay her dowry and perform her marriage rites as the tradition entails.
Them no say,make u come sleep with her corpse oh.

celestine2015:
OP, from your response from people's comments, u seem to be rude. You want advice, but u don't want to disclose her tribe. Its understandable that you're in pains, having lost her...but u need to do the needful. It may not cost u much..it's just a matter of dialogue and understanding between her family and yours. I already know the tribe of the girl.

I don't know you religious inclinations, but one thing is sure, dis life is mysterious. Pls, don't be stubborn..approach this with maturity.
In the tribe of this girl, if u don't have any consensus or agreement with her family, the boy is not yours. Secondly, after u bury her in your way...THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES. Take it or leave it.pp

No need to disclose tribe because there are many myopic people that will turn it to tribal discussion or water down an intelligent contribution. Irrespective of the tribe, he should refuse to marry the corpse. It is unfortunate his partner died, but the girl was an adult. Old enough to decide what she wanted.

Somewhere in the south.

And OP is kind of afraid of the dirty tribal lords, don't mind them. They will always display their crass inadequacy.

Meanwhile, alternatives/solution is what you shouid be obsessed with right now and I pray you find one soon

Cpossibility:
Which tribe is that?

The Ikale’s in Ondo state engage in this practice

ImaIma1:


He took someone's daughter and kept her in his house and made her his wife without doing the proper rites. She even had a child in that union. Who else was supposed to take care of her in his house? You? If she were to be in her parents' house, they would have been taking care of her there.

You are talking from the standpoint of a man and a "Nigerian girl". If you were looking at it from the point of view that she's your daughter, your response would be different.

It's not my mindset that is the topic here. The people whose daughter/sister he camped in her house are the ones you should direct your anger to. One thing is for sure...he's playing with his son's relationship with him.

If it was my Daughter, I would mourn her and try to console the man who is in a lot of debt past a million. this will only be the case if the man is well known among us, and we have a good relationship with him.

if we don't have a good relationship, I will ignore both the man. and feel extremely sad and bitter that my daughter never followed morals and ethics. I may never talk to the man for life and really not think much about his child.

Now if the guy ignored my daughter and let her die without putting any effort, if he had the means, I will hurt him bad. really bad. It doesn't matter the type of relationship we have with him

It is just me sha. Maybe it is because I am a guy and know what it means to have debts on my neck.

ibechris:



What nonsense are u writing man.

What they are saying is that,since u didn't marry her by paying her dowry when she was alive,then now that she is dead,u will pay her dowry and perform her marriage rites as the tradition entails.
Them no say,make u come sleep with her corpse oh.

Is it a must to marry your lover?

honeyball:
IF YOU PAY HER DIARY NOW, YOU HAVE MADE COVENANT WITH THE DEAD.

DON'T TRY IT.

Africa with their devilish tradition.

I am telling you. So many dark traditions set this continent back. It is even more shocking that the enforcers of these disturbing traditions are front row congregants in established Christian denominations.

No one here but you has so far questioned the brightness of a custom of this kind. See everyone pressuring him to go marry a corpse. I pray Africa embraces true, untainted light sometime in the future.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I don't believe in curses, A man can not define my fate in life..I was more concerned about my son that's why I brought it here.
I fear no man

Bro you have to or there are chance you will loose sanity and custody to the kid..legally or forcefully

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Why would I carry it to the village..?
It's already in the morgue, for her people arrival, it's their daughter.
Have done my most vital parts borrowing money to save her now am in debts, if you want me to marry her corpse because am scared. My brother your wrong.

From the way this guy has been responding to suggestions and advices from the people he seeks advice from is very rude and unrespectful. from his actions I don't believe his story to be true but if it eventually true then pray your God that you messed with good set of people. my man from your narrations, your mom warned you never to but you took her for a fool, you also said that after taking loans for her treatment that you look sick yourself, my brother be ready to amend your clothes because you are going to be more skinny than your already look. my brother e get some tribe wey no have time to exchange words with you, by the time you will picked up to explain what you used their daughter for by then you go dey beg to go with first option (to marry the corpse) than the later. yes you might chose to go against them in legal way but after you go know say tradition be senior brother to judiciary. You never see something.

Ilaje1:


Is it a must to marry your lover?

Then it is not a must for him to talk about a child out of wedlock.

Akwa-ibom written all over this. But what do i now? ��‍♂️

JRichards:




You people shouldn't counsel him again. He will die untimely and won't live long

you go first me enter ground

T0T0fucker:

Simp assz licking niggas.

Op, nor mind this fool!

Nothing him and his family fit do you...nor go borrow money marry death body o.
Infact leave his sister for the mortuary, make you travel out live your life.

When them ready they go carry the dead body

Oga, be really sincere here cos what you say nature will be waiting for you... If a man took your daughter or abscond with your daughter without formal knowledge of you or even marrying her. Got her pregnant and then she died due to any reason. You have never set eyes on your daughter for years. But all of a sudden after many years, you saw her in her dead body. And the man who took her away from you without marrying her or your concernt came to do burial ceremony. Would you be happy and be celebrating the man for at least bringing your daughter corpse for burial? what would you have done? be really sincere in your response bc words are spirit and live

JRichards:



This guy has a short life span and is almost already dead. He won't do it. But he doesn't know he's already dead even as we speak !

that death when dey sweet you call so, you go use your tongue lick ground

I just kept wondering why people are still giving you advice.
You already said you won't marry her and that's your final decision.
Please go and do what ever is in your mind.
And for your information, you have no right to put her in the mortuary without the presence of a relative, she's not your wife remember.

@OP StilmaVsBorn2w

I gleaned so much from reading your post and your replies. They are as follows:

1. You were not in love with the lady. That's clear by the absence of any pain for your loss in your write up. Rather you blame the girls tribe for their tradition that existed before your grandfather was born.

2. You do not have a deep bond with your son. That's why you are so ready to give him up so that you can move on as someone else will take up your responsibility.

3. Your only reason for resisting their demand is because you are already in debt. Nothing more. If you were rich you would have done transfer by now if you don't want to go for her burial

4. You are rather proud of your stubbornness even though it hasn't yielded good dividends in your life.

5. You are comfortable shirking responsibilities although you tried by fighting to keep her alive.

6. You have an aversion for wise counsel. There is no way the woman did not mention this tradition to you even though you are pretending now that it's sounding strange to you.

So let me share my advice:

Finally paying the Bride Price for a dead woman who has a child for you and "marrying a corpse" are the same thing but one sounds revolting while the other just sounds strange. You have overblown things by continually referring to the latter meanwhile it is just another way of saying you should pay your old debt that you have been running away from.

Let me share an analogy to explain your present predicament.

In countries where Tax is a way of life, there is a repercussion if you spend that money that should have been paid to the govt.

You might get away with it for a year or two but eventually the law will catch up with you and you will be asked to pay your "arrears".

You earned the money and spent it all now the govt comes for you.

They will demand you pay the arrears at once.

Something that you could have done conveniently before they raised their head in your direction, you will now do by force or go to jail.

The girls family is asking that you do immediately what you should have done much earlier at your own convenience.

You have eaten a big meal. Now it's time to pay up.

Since you are already in debt you better just go a bit deeper and fulfil your obligations.

The alternative means many things.

1. You dishonour your woman's memory.

2. You initiate spiritual battles that you cannot say for sure that you will win in the end. If you lose then they will come and take your boy as next of kin.

Let me stop here

If you have the money pay the bride price. You can also seek for a concession based on your financial strength. You also have to be very prayerful.

God almighty will make your son grow to be very great.


Check my signature for Tokunbo Cars

Dorwadora:
Such happened to my uncle around 25 years ago... They met at Benin, she's from Delta, died during childbirth. It was hell for the whole family. I was young then.

My grandfather ( May God rest his soul) had to borrow money from Yoruba association at Benin them to finance the whole thing. They did normal wedding ceremony, bought clothes for the father and mother, all rites were completed. Then the family carried the cropse to Delta and asked my Uncle to come and bury his wife. Lol... My uncle was in his early 20s then. It was traumatizing for him.

The family had to hire 2 soldiers because there was rumor that they can harm him. They went and buried her and the child that died with her. Said he must sleep with her, that's when our family declined and he'll broke loose.

They sha concluded and came back to Benin in one piece. The experience left a scar in my uncle's heart. Didn't marry on time. He's older than my mom and his first child is just 4.

Well, when we advise people to marry from people of the same tongue, people think it's being a tribal bigot. It's actually for ease, and to avoid certain nonsense.

Ẹni tó ba fẹ ìyàwó ni íjù, kó sétán àti di àna ẹbọra.

SocialJustice:
Do not give them that boy, they are very wicked people and will either maltreat the boy or use him to extort you.

Get the police involved. If police can't handle the matter to your taste then go to court. This is the only way because I can see your primitive in laws are out to kill you.

Please no need to get angry or quarrel, maintain your stand without unnecessary emotions.

Stupid people are not exclusive to a certain tribe, they are everywhere so no need making this tribal.

you are ? Let me hold my peace

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Let them bring it on.
I said I won't, I can't marry a corpse

Did you ever love this woman at all?

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Since you followed me to nairaland, I still stand on my ground. I can't marry your sister corpse joseph.

The money I spent for hospital bills loans I took, what assistance did you provide? Nothing.
But I took it uphon myself to save her, you think threatening me on the phone and commenting here will break me .
Come and do your worst.

I guess they're Urhobo/Isoko people. You're like me too. The warned me about her and I thought my people were being tribalists.

If you know what I'm going through in thier hands, you'll feel sorry for me. I've spent over 2m+ so far and we're still dragging issues in court. And this is even though DNA had proven the kid isn't mine.

Those people behave like robots. They won't listen to you unless you take decisive action against them.

All your talk of borrowing money to treat her is all talk. They don't care unless you do what they want. In my case, her mom even collected my receipts from her and claiming she paid. This is even though her elder bro knows I paid.

Your only solution is to seek legal advise and drag them to court. You own the kid.

And if the court gives you the kid, cut all access to them. He must not know their language or even bear their name.

Like you, they warned me too and I didnt listen. Those Urhobo/Isoko people should only marry themselves.

Despite two DNA, they're still trying to insist the kid is mine.

Alexgeneration:

You're speaking English.


Let him,his family and lawyer take the corpse to the girl's village and speak this English and watch their lives evaporate like boiling water


If he is really a fearless man that knows the law, let him take the corpse to the girl's village and see things for himself.


Dem no dey tell person

He's done his best by notifying them of her demise to rule out culpability. Hearsay is not admissible in court. She doesn't need to take the corpse to the village. Her people should come for that. It is his own decision if he will take the body to the village or attend the funeral. What they're toiling with is a criminal case in the embryo if op decides to make a move on that.

Nadoson1:
From the way this guy has been responding to suggestions and advices from the people he seeks advice from is very rude and unrespectful. from his actions I don't believe his story to be true but if it eventually true then pray your God that you messed with good set of people. my man from your narrations, your mom warned you never to but you took her for a fool, you also said that after taking loans for her treatment that you look sick yourself, my brother be ready to amend your clothes because you are going to be more skinny than your already look. my brother e get some tribe wey no have time to exchange words with you, by the time you will picked up to explain what you used their daughter for by then you go dey beg to go with first option (to marry the corpse) than the later. yes you might chose to go against them in legal way but after you go know say tradition be senior brother to judiciary. You never see something.

if you are a ritualist, me am not.
you need to be investigated for having such mindset
buffoon

lekoni2:
Akwa-ibom written all over this. But what do i now? ��‍♂️

l concur. I left my Akwa Ibom girlfriend from Anan clan before l will pregnant her and they will kill her when l have not pay bride price. Advice from my neighbour and l heed to the advice

ImaIma1:


He took someone's daughter and kept her in his house and made her his wife without doing the proper rites. She even had a child in that union. Who else was supposed to take care of her in his house? You? If she were to be in her parents' house, they would have been taking care of her there.

You are talking from the standpoint of a man and a "Nigerian girl". If you were looking at it from the point of view that she's your daughter, your response would be different.

It's not my mindset that is the topic here. The people whose daughter/sister he camped in her house are the ones you should direct your anger to. One thing is for sure...he's playing with his son's relationship with him.

"He took someone's daughter...". Was she kidnapped? Was she forced to move in with him? Was she rapped? And she didn't take someone's son abi? The family should even be happy she left a son behind, a consolation.

honeyball:
IF YOU PAY HER DIARY NOW, YOU HAVE MADE COVENANT WITH THE DEAD.

DON'T TRY IT.

Africa with their devilish tradition.

You are quick to blame Africa but no white man go about taking people's daughters without the knowledge of the parent or even marrying her. The white people are more discipline bin their deeds and actions and as a result don't need all this African cultures.

But here in Nigeria, some fools will just take someone daughter, got her pregnant without even paying her bride price and when she die will just go and dump the dead body for her parents. Is this not witchcraft?

People like you will even go any length to kill the man for disrespecting your daughter, you and your family. And that's total disrespect to the entire family anyway

This one na community matter. Nairalanders live in villages.

Shoodboi:


I guess they're Urhobo/Isoko people. You're like me too. The warned me about her and I thought my people were being tribalists.

If you know what I'm going through in thier hands, you'll feel sorry for me. I've spent over 2m+ so far and we're still dragging issues in court. And this is even though DNA had proven the kid isn't mine.

Those people behave like robots. They won't listen to you unless you take decisive action against them.

All your talk of borrowing money to treat her is all talk. They don't care unless you do what they want. In my case, her mom even collected my receipts from her and claiming she paid. This is even though her elder bro knows I paid.

Your only solution is to seek legal advise and drag them to court. You own the kid.

And if the court gives you the kid, cut all access to them. He must not know their language or even bear their name.

Like you, they warned me too and I didnt listen. Those Urhobo/Isoko people should only marry themselves.

Despite two DNA, they're still trying to insist the kid is mine.

Na you dey give them attention. Just ignore and move on with your life.

wunmi590:


This same stubbornness is what your mum adviced you about before delving into the relationship....

Bros, you will pay it, the only things is just that it might not be much like how it should have been when she was alive.....

Do you even consider the spiritual implications for the young man? Admitted, he's done wrong. But encouraging the girl's people to force him to marry the corpse is wrong. Please, don't say he should pay it. This isn't going to be the normal marriage thing but a ritual performance; a sacrilege! And if he does it, he's gone for it. But as long as this life is concerned, it's only God that can safe him. If care is not taken, I see him also dying too because most likely, the girl's family killed the girl just because she birthed a child for him. For what I know, this matter is big and pregnant. It'll keep unfolding.

Oga, in this modern age and time you are talking of someone taking your son even if you are not married to their daughter? Na wah for you.
Even though Precious Chikwendu is alive FFK collect him 4 boys from her the mother. How much more you weh your son mama don die.
Man, don't marry no corpse, keep your son. If they wount allow you pay respect to the late lady (God bless her soul), then you walka and move on!

ibechris:



I am igbo brother...

Ok...
I have heard of this from when I was a child.
I thought those things were mere talk. I didn't hold it with importance....
I tot it only occur in movies