₦airaland Forum

A wise man once said "lf you want to kill a man ask his friends, they know were to strike."

Sometime last year a so called friend of mine went about defaming me before others and she tried so hard to tarnish my image.

People believed everything she said to them and they made mockery of me at every spot.

It was mentally traumatic for me as I was ridiculed everywhere I went because of the malicious lies she was spreading roundabout.

To say I was shocked, is to say the least because I never wronged her in anyway.

But God turned everything around, and the narrative changed.

In the end she became very ashamed of herself.

I have since learnt to keep my relationship with people at arms length. And to keep no friend.

In the end you only have yourself.

Ever heard the parable of the goat and yam if at all this your story is true?

O n gbe ina si ori orule sun

Bi a gun ata l'odo, bi a lo ni olo, iwa ata ko ni fi ata sile.

Emmydarsy:
I met this friend of mine, Ayo during our school days in one of the schools in ondo state, that was in 2005. Infact, we got along with eachother immediately we met when doing our course registration, since we were admitted into same Accounting dept. Afterwards, we got so closed to a point where we had to share the same room till our final year. So, while in 200l, I was dating a 100l girl, which happened to be the only babe I was dating in school, even though I had one other I was dating in Lagos before I got admission. There was much love between us that almost everyone on campus knew about our relationship. It was just like we were married. I dated this babe till our first semester, 400l before I began to observe some changes about her which I never knew and understood the cause till we finished from school, went for service and all go out different ways. Ay, on the other hand used to be those serious type that would read and study on their own after lectures, spend most times in the library, which made his social life bored, that he only managed to have only one particular girl and their relationship never seems to last. But that never changed the fact that we were good friends who helped eachother in all manners of ways, financially, spiritually, educationally all through our stay in school, and even till present. Now, here is the point....After school, I lost contact with this said girl and she became the past but Ay has been there as my usual friend, even though we base in a different state. We are used to travelling to attend any special occasion of ours. I'm married with kids and he is married too with kids, and life has been fair to us, atleast.
But last month, this my ex sent me a request on FB and we got each other's contact, so after so much conversation thereafter, there was a confession and revelation from her about my friend. In a nutshell, Ay told her about the girl I was dating in Lagos, that each time, I say I want to travel to Lagos to go see my parent and fetch some money, it's a lie, that it's my Lagos gf I was missing and going to check upon. Well, which was truely part of the reason I do travel then, as I will always tell my friend about my Lagos gf. That he further told her I never loved her and was playing on her. And this my babe was always comfortable staying and sleeping in our room then even when am away as she is just so fond of our side. Laslas Sha, that my Friend took advantage of her n they bleeped. That it was because of that she gave me and "us" distance, as she couldn't look both of us in the face, that she was ashamed of herself. Lol, A scene of over 15years got fresh in my memory and got me wondered. She asked abt him, that do we still talk? I told her Yes! And she begged me not to tell him, that I should just forget it, since we all are happily married now. Cos she is married too with her own kids. I had to call Ay and ask because, he was and still a good friend to the best of my knowledge. To my surprise, even before I asked him, he already had a hint of what I wanted to ask him, because I first asked him if he remember her(mentioned her name) and he said yes, that did I come across her somewhere, I said yes, that she reveal some things to me, lol. He immediately start begging that it's been long he had wanted to tell me himself and apologized. I told him it's okay....that I genuinely forgive him, just that i was surprise and never believe. Even, If he had deny that she lied against him, I might probably be forced to believe him. So I told him it's cool, that have forgiven him. But the question is, till date, if he has any business in Lagos, he still come to my house to pass the night, even when am on night shift. Is it advisable to still trust him 100%? Note: Aside this stain, Ay is a nice guy and would do anything within his capacity for me as a friend!!!

neonly:
They envy u secretly and planning for yur downfall to be like them
U can't trust anyone except yourself
90% are looking for how to exploit you etc

True Story.

pansophist:
If you're the only one going higher in your friend's circle, you may learn the hard way that your friends can become sworn enemies. Your success is a reminder of their failure, and a mirror to their incompetence. The relationship will progressively becomes a burden to you, since they will expect that you pay the bills of each outings afterall, you're doing better than all. If you refuse to always comply and even worse, started avoiding them, you've planted the seed of hatred, which may lead to something sinister. With the thought of these, you may just decide to keep no friends at all.

True Story.

Trust no one.
The envy is worst if they're less successful than you.
Trust no one.

virginprincess:
Really!,Then maybe you should go look for him so he will tell you his own side of the story ,mtcheeeeeew.

u are a bloody liar u just like painting men has been bad well remember u also have a father Sha I rest my case

Emmydarsy:
I met this friend of mine, Ayo during our school days in one of the schools in ondo state, that was in 2005. Infact, we got along with eachother immediately we met when doing our course registration, since we were admitted into same Accounting dept. Afterwards, we got so closed to a point where we had to share the same room till our final year. So, while in 200l, I was dating a 100l girl, which happened to be the only babe I was dating in school, even though I had one other I was dating in Lagos before I got admission. There was much love between us that almost everyone on campus knew about our relationship. It was just like we were married. I dated this babe till our first semester, 400l before I began to observe some changes about her which I never knew and understood the cause till we finished from school, went for service and all go out different ways. Ay, on the other hand used to be those serious type that would read and study on their own after lectures, spend most times in the library, which made his social life bored, that he only managed to have only one particular girl and their relationship never seems to last. But that never changed the fact that we were good friends who helped eachother in all manners of ways, financially, spiritually, educationally all through our stay in school, and even till present. Now, here is the point....After school, I lost contact with this said girl and she became the past but Ay has been there as my usual friend, even though we base in a different state. We are used to travelling to attend any special occasion of ours. I'm married with kids and he is married too with kids, and life has been fair to us, atleast.
But last month, this my ex sent me a request on FB and we got each other's contact, so after so much conversation thereafter, there was a confession and revelation from her about my friend. In a nutshell, Ay told her about the girl I was dating in Lagos, that each time, I say I want to travel to Lagos to go see my parent and fetch some money, it's a lie, that it's my Lagos gf I was missing and going to check upon. Well, which was truely part of the reason I do travel then, as I will always tell my friend about my Lagos gf. That he further told her I never loved her and was playing on her. And this my babe was always comfortable staying and sleeping in our room then even when am away as she is just so fond of our side. Laslas Sha, that my Friend took advantage of her n they bleeped. That it was because of that she gave me and "us" distance, as she couldn't look both of us in the face, that she was ashamed of herself. Lol, A scene of over 15years got fresh in my memory and got me wondered. She asked abt him, that do we still talk? I told her Yes! And she begged me not to tell him, that I should just forget it, since we all are happily married now. Cos she is married too with her own kids. I had to call Ay and ask because, he was and still a good friend to the best of my knowledge. To my surprise, even before I asked him, he already had a hint of what I wanted to ask him, because I first asked him if he remember her(mentioned her name) and he said yes, that did I come across her somewhere, I said yes, that she reveal some things to me, lol. He immediately start begging that it's been long he had wanted to tell me himself and apologized. I told him it's okay....that I genuinely forgive him, just that i was surprise and never believe. Even, If he had deny that she lied against him, I might probably be forced to believe him. So I told him it's cool, that have forgiven him. But the question is, till date, if he has any business in Lagos, he still come to my house to pass the night, even when am on night shift. Is it advisable to still trust him 100%? Note: Aside this stain, Ay is a nice guy and would do anything within his capacity for me as a friend!!!

This story is scary.

Flamees:
Never trust anybody

But you have to trust someone..

Emmydarsy:
I met this friend of mine, Ayo during our school days in one of the schools in ondo state, that was in 2005. Infact, we got along with eachother immediately we met when doing our course registration, since we were admitted into same Accounting dept. Afterwards, we got so closed to a point where we had to share the same room till our final year. So, while in 200l, I was dating a 100l girl, which happened to be the only babe I was dating in school, even though I had one other I was dating in Lagos before I got admission. There was much love between us that almost everyone on campus knew about our relationship. It was just like we were married. I dated this babe till our first semester, 400l before I began to observe some changes about her which I never knew and understood the cause till we finished from school, went for service and all go out different ways. Ay, on the other hand used to be those serious type that would read and study on their own after lectures, spend most times in the library, which made his social life bored, that he only managed to have only one particular girl and their relationship never seems to last. But that never changed the fact that we were good friends who helped eachother in all manners of ways, financially, spiritually, educationally all through our stay in school, and even till present. Now, here is the point....After school, I lost contact with this said girl and she became the past but Ay has been there as my usual friend, even though we base in a different state. We are used to travelling to attend any special occasion of ours. I'm married with kids and he is married too with kids, and life has been fair to us, atleast.
But last month, this my ex sent me a request on FB and we got each other's contact, so after so much conversation thereafter, there was a confession and revelation from her about my friend. In a nutshell, Ay told her about the girl I was dating in Lagos, that each time, I say I want to travel to Lagos to go see my parent and fetch some money, it's a lie, that it's my Lagos gf I was missing and going to check upon. Well, which was truely part of the reason I do travel then, as I will always tell my friend about my Lagos gf. That he further told her I never loved her and was playing on her. And this my babe was always comfortable staying and sleeping in our room then even when am away as she is just so fond of our side. Laslas Sha, that my Friend took advantage of her n they bleeped. That it was because of that she gave me and "us" distance, as she couldn't look both of us in the face, that she was ashamed of herself. Lol, A scene of over 15years got fresh in my memory and got me wondered. She asked abt him, that do we still talk? I told her Yes! And she begged me not to tell him, that I should just forget it, since we all are happily married now. Cos she is married too with her own kids. I had to call Ay and ask because, he was and still a good friend to the best of my knowledge. To my surprise, even before I asked him, he already had a hint of what I wanted to ask him, because I first asked him if he remember her(mentioned her name) and he said yes, that did I come across her somewhere, I said yes, that she reveal some things to me, lol. He immediately start begging that it's been long he had wanted to tell me himself and apologized. I told him it's okay....that I genuinely forgive him, just that i was surprise and never believe. Even, If he had deny that she lied against him, I might probably be forced to believe him. So I told him it's cool, that have forgiven him. But the question is, till date, if he has any business in Lagos, he still come to my house to pass the night, even when am on night shift. Is it advisable to still trust him 100%? Note: Aside this stain, Ay is a nice guy and would do anything within his capacity for me as a friend!!!

Even if you trust your wife 100%, please don't keep yam near goat...It is a parable.

Women are Emotionally wired, smart men take advantage of that.

If he can bleep your gf, he can do a wife..

Trust betrayed cannever get back to original for me.

Munzy14:
But you have to trust someone..

We have Levels of trust tho.
Like my Friends don't know much about me

It's not good to have new friends, I'm talking from experience,m

SalafRider:
Friends that want the best for you, the ones that want to see you fail. The real and the fake. What have been your experience so far keeping friends?

Make I sit down learn...

What can you say and what can you say? Don't forget, most married people becomes enemy when they are divorced or when they are seperated. Remember actress Nkechi Blessing?

LadyTara:
Let's normalize words like neighbor, colleague, acquittance. People call just anyone friend,just because you have a conversation every now and then with someone doesn't make them your friend.

remember compound wey you park go, the first person wey be your friend as a neighbor. Na him be your enemies las las

Flamees:
We have Levels of trust tho.
Like my Friends don't know much about me

Don't think so bro. Nothing is hidden under the sun..

We wake up everyday to trust somebody knowingly or unknowingly..

My advise to people is limit your circle..So you can figure out who is biting and blowing you air same time.

Circle of friends on same mission with dreams and aspirations is a goal.

Friends work in categories neither male or female..

People I call friends from the male side, are all people with similar goals in life..People I can say I need 100k now, and next will be which of your account.

They are not upto 8.

That is my circle.

I am giving you a clue as a bro...

As for friends from female gender, I have my criteria...You must be intelligent and smart first before I look at her beauty and feminine features.
They have loads of experience and educating conversations to offer.

So brother, know what you want in a friendship from any gender, so you don't betrayed by anyone..

And lastly, never expect anything from anyone..Except your wife..Who is actually your better half..Her submission and loyalty (Love).

tunjilee003:
I remember vividly,last year,a friend told me my going to school is waste of time that when I graduate I'll work under him (he is a secondary School leaver)ever since he said that, I've detached myself from him..I no want wahala...

Na yahoo boy abi? I get one like that. Na secondary drop out. Dude hates school and discourages anyone that wants to go

majority are southward wisher

Munzy14:
Don't think so bro. Nothing is hidden under the sun..

We wake up everyday to trust somebody knowingly or unknowingly..

My advise to people is limit your circle..So you can figure out who is biting and blowing you air same time.

Circle of friends on same mission with dreams and aspirations is a goal.

Friends work in categories neither male or female..

People I call friends from the male side, are all people with similar goals in life..People I can say I need 100k now, and next will be which of your account.

They are not upto 8.

That is my circle.

I am giving you a clue as a bro...

As for friends from female gender, I have my criteria...You must be intelligent and smart first before I look at her beauty and feminine features.
They have loads of experience and educating conversations to offer.

So brother, know what you want in a friendship from any gender, so you don't betrayed by anyone..

And lastly, never expect anything from anyone..Except your wife..Who is actually your better half..Her submission and loyalty (Love).

Same with me i limit my friends
Some think I'm Introvert But That's how my life is
i don't like having many friends

Flamees:
Same with me i limit my friends
Some think I'm Introvert But That's how my life is
i don't like having many friends

It is good to be an introvert and achieving glaring results, than extrovert without nothing...

Moreover, Introverts are big achievers and usually sweep people off their feet..You can't even see them coming.

NewSoul:
Na yahoo boy abi? I get one like that. Na secondary drop out. Dude hates school and discourages anyone that wants to go

exactly!

My GOD. No words. Avoid male human beings. Useless smelly creation.

I pick friends that we have things in common and this has helped me to maintain good relationship with some of them, like I have a friend who is a programmer who just finished serving and currently working from home for two companies with good pay both, he also likes reading which I do as well. What he did is to take me as an intern student to teach me how to programme online and he is paying me every month. He has two jobs so it is stressing to manage both so whenever he has little jobs I can handle he'll forward it to me and in turn I am growing my skills and making little cash out of it.
I know one day I will be working my own job through this help he has given me, whenever he reads a good book he'll recommend it to me to read which I will do and it is helping me a lot. This is a person that I can ask money any time and he will give to me pending when I can pay back.
He has given me money to upgrade my PC to meet up with the job demands. So I believe when picking friends, pick friends that you have things in common and you'll see that there will be no parasitic relationship in your friendship.

I don't keep much friends as I am busy with my work, soccer & PES, even though I have couple of them but I can only say I have two bros from other mothers (friends) and like 6 other friends.

Friends teach you that it's all man for himself. I no longer keep Friends or allow anyone get too close to me again.

Emmydarsy:
I met this friend of mine, Ayo during our school days in one of the schools in ondo state, that was in 2005. Infact, we got along with eachother immediately we met when doing our course registration, since we were admitted into same Accounting dept. Afterwards, we got so closed to a point where we had to share the same room till our final year. So, while in 200l, I was dating a 100l girl, which happened to be the only babe I was dating in school, even though I had one other I was dating in Lagos before I got admission. There was much love between us that almost everyone on campus knew about our relationship. It was just like we were married. I dated this babe till our first semester, 400l before I began to observe some changes about her which I never knew and understood the cause till we finished from school, went for service and all go out different ways. Ay, on the other hand used to be those serious type that would read and study on their own after lectures, spend most times in the library, which made his social life bored, that he only managed to have only one particular girl and their relationship never seems to last. But that never changed the fact that we were good friends who helped eachother in all manners of ways, financially, spiritually, educationally all through our stay in school, and even till present. Now, here is the point....After school, I lost contact with this said girl and she became the past but Ay has been there as my usual friend, even though we base in a different state. We are used to travelling to attend any special occasion of ours. I'm married with kids and he is married too with kids, and life has been fair to us, atleast.
But last month, this my ex sent me a request on FB and we got each other's contact, so after so much conversation thereafter, there was a confession and revelation from her about my friend. In a nutshell, Ay told her about the girl I was dating in Lagos, that each time, I say I want to travel to Lagos to go see my parent and fetch some money, it's a lie, that it's my Lagos gf I was missing and going to check upon. Well, which was truely part of the reason I do travel then, as I will always tell my friend about my Lagos gf. That he further told her I never loved her and was playing on her. And this my babe was always comfortable staying and sleeping in our room then even when am away as she is just so fond of our side. Laslas Sha, that my Friend took advantage of her n they bleeped. That it was because of that she gave me and "us" distance, as she couldn't look both of us in the face, that she was ashamed of herself. Lol, A scene of over 15years got fresh in my memory and got me wondered. She asked abt him, that do we still talk? I told her Yes! And she begged me not to tell him, that I should just forget it, since we all are happily married now. Cos she is married too with her own kids. I had to call Ay and ask because, he was and still a good friend to the best of my knowledge. To my surprise, even before I asked him, he already had a hint of what I wanted to ask him, because I first asked him if he remember her(mentioned her name) and he said yes, that did I come across her somewhere, I said yes, that she reveal some things to me, lol. He immediately start begging that it's been long he had wanted to tell me himself and apologized. I told him it's okay....that I genuinely forgive him, just that i was surprise and never believe. Even, If he had deny that she lied against him, I might probably be forced to believe him. So I told him it's cool, that have forgiven him. But the question is, till date, if he has any business in Lagos, he still come to my house to pass the night, even when am on night shift. Is it advisable to still trust him 100%? Note: Aside this stain, Ay is a nice guy and would do anything within his capacity for me as a friend!!!

Good afternoon Sir.
I know I'm not in a position to give someone like you advise cos I'm not married and I have zero knowledge concerning relationships but I have a few things I'd like to say.
Sincerely, I see no reason why you should get cautious around your friend now cos of the few things you heard he did in the past, you said he begged you about it and pleaded that you forgive him, everyone needs a second chance, don't you think?
Moreover, I see no reason why your Ex should have brought up the issue in the first place, you said it yourself, she's married and even with kids so why now? Why did she have to ask if you're still in touch with Mr AY before revealing what happened in the past to you?
Sir, it takes two to tango. Inasmuch as what Mr AY did was wrong, she could have said "no" if she wanted to but still she went ahead with it and started feeling guilty afterwards - “the post-coital dysphoria.”
Notwithstanding, you also have a fault of your own. I'm guessing you wanted to eat your cake and have it. Having two ladies home and away. Lol!
You know whom you married, just outrightly tell your wife about it. There's a better chance at avoiding some particular stories that touch when there's a perfect level of understanding between both partners. And if you still feel like you're not comfortable with his presence, always trust your guts Sir. Then he should find alternative accommodation whenever he's in Lagos.
But according to what I've read, Mr AY is now like a friend turned brother, "a nice guy who would do anything within his capacity for you as a friend" these are your words, not mine. So please don't lose a good guy cos of his misdeeds 15years ago.
Have a lovely day ahead Boss!

Emmydarsy:
I met this friend of mine, Ayo during our school days in one of the schools in ondo state, that was in 2005. Infact, we got along with eachother immediately we met when doing our course registration, since we were admitted into same Accounting dept. Afterwards, we got so closed to a point where we had to share the same room till our final year. So, while in 200l, I was dating a 100l girl, which happened to be the only babe I was dating in school, even though I had one other I was dating in Lagos before I got admission. There was much love between us that almost everyone on campus knew about our relationship. It was just like we were married. I dated this babe till our first semester, 400l before I began to observe some changes about her which I never knew and understood the cause till we finished from school, went for service and all go out different ways. Ay, on the other hand used to be those serious type that would read and study on their own after lectures, spend most times in the library, which made his social life bored, that he only managed to have only one particular girl and their relationship never seems to last. But that never changed the fact that we were good friends who helped eachother in all manners of ways, financially, spiritually, educationally all through our stay in school, and even till present. Now, here is the point....After school, I lost contact with this said girl and she became the past but Ay has been there as my usual friend, even though we base in a different state. We are used to travelling to attend any special occasion of ours. I'm married with kids and he is married too with kids, and life has been fair to us, atleast.
But last month, this my ex sent me a request on FB and we got each other's contact, so after so much conversation thereafter, there was a confession and revelation from her about my friend. In a nutshell, Ay told her about the girl I was dating in Lagos, that each time, I say I want to travel to Lagos to go see my parent and fetch some money, it's a lie, that it's my Lagos gf I was missing and going to check upon. Well, which was truely part of the reason I do travel then, as I will always tell my friend about my Lagos gf. That he further told her I never loved her and was playing on her. And this my babe was always comfortable staying and sleeping in our room then even when am away as she is just so fond of our side. Laslas Sha, that my Friend took advantage of her n they bleeped. That it was because of that she gave me and "us" distance, as she couldn't look both of us in the face, that she was ashamed of herself. Lol, A scene of over 15years got fresh in my memory and got me wondered. She asked abt him, that do we still talk? I told her Yes! And she begged me not to tell him, that I should just forget it, since we all are happily married now. Cos she is married too with her own kids. I had to call Ay and ask because, he was and still a good friend to the best of my knowledge. To my surprise, even before I asked him, he already had a hint of what I wanted to ask him, because I first asked him if he remember her(mentioned her name) and he said yes, that did I come across her somewhere, I said yes, that she reveal some things to me, lol. He immediately start begging that it's been long he had wanted to tell me himself and apologized. I told him it's okay....that I genuinely forgive him, just that i was surprise and never believe. Even, If he had deny that she lied against him, I might probably be forced to believe him. So I told him it's cool, that have forgiven him. But the question is, till date, if he has any business in Lagos, he still come to my house to pass the night, even when am on night shift. Is it advisable to still trust him 100%? Note: Aside this stain, Ay is a nice guy and would do anything within his capacity for me as a friend!!!

AY bleep up man if you asked me, he snitch on you and still kpansh the babe join. You just gotta be careful though...

We know them.

JesuLoba �

The people you call friends are mostimes your biggest enemies within mostly the ones you live with

Coldburn:
It funny seeing people saying friends are this and that.
Your are exactly what you describe about others. Live your life and threat your friends with the same courtesy you'd want to be treated and so before you go about cutting of your friends cus of what you perceive as envy and recognize that we are all humans vulnerable to our emotions

God Bless You:

We are what we Receive from Others:

Be Reasonable with Every Human including Your Parents because Loving you too much can affect Your Life self:

That's how the issue of Wicked Mother in Law evolves: Many Parents do not have boundary in the Name of Love:

twosquare:
Ever heard the parable of the goat and yam if at all this your story is true?

O n gbe ina si ori orule sun

Bi a gun ata l'odo, bi a lo ni olo, iwa ata ko ni fi ata sile.

Nature is the best teacher!
Forgivenesses is Bae but being Cautious is Evergreen Bae!