₦airaland Forum

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

If I'm your brother or father, I'll freely give you my blessings.

An unstable person shouldn't assume such responsibilities as tasking as birthing and caring for a child or children.

Please, focus on healing yourself, and start harnessing your maternal prowess, in case you want to adopt, it'd be easier.

Good luck.

Emma2Seconds:
U sounds like you're rice why not adopt at least 3 children now and find nanny that will help you in taking care of them.

A Nanny that will help her beans the kids right.

Read twice whatever you type before posting please.
All this people looking for First Comment

My own is If you decide to get married, let your husband be aware of your mental health issues . Dont go and ruin another persons life cos of your issues

judedwriter:
Yes married life is the sweetest. But if you missed your God ordained life partner, I think it's better to be single than to marry the wrong person.

However, no matter who you marry, with patience and tolerance it can succeed. But many people lack patience, tolerance and forgiveness, hence the high divorce rate.

You have said it all.

Seek help for your mental health first.

Na dj cuppy fake account dey ask this question abi?

Poswahala:
Please am not suffering from mood swings..this is something that is affecting my life and not some mood swings

You have been successfully brainwashed and bewitched.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Marriage isn't for everyone but at list mothering a child will be a good option.. Giving birth to your own
Child will be Awesome I bet you is gonna make you feel alive and loved.

There's nothing wrong with you. Your mental health is important and I salute you for your courage. It's ok to want kids and also fine to not want them. Take care of yourself, surround yourself with good people and enjoy life.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

You seem to make made your decision and you also said you might adopt a child of you change your mind. There isn't any right nor wrong approach. So I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. The

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Good decision. At least you know yourself. You will be lonely sometimes but be happy majority of the time.

Just look for some other hobby that Will keep you busy.
Marriage is overrated

Emma2Seconds:
Take care of your mental health first . Remember children are important at old age , if not marriage and so called Love and relationship are just scam .

Marriage is a scam towards guys.... Think about a woman getting married to a rich man...what does it mean for the woman? It means a lifetime of no stress....she relaxes as a woman doing nothing while the man takes care of everything....marriage is good for women but a nightmare for guys.....

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

I think you have not been with a guy that would make you wonno spend the rest of your life with him, and yearns for a biological child as well.

judedwriter:
Yes married life is the sweetest. But if you missed your God ordained life partner, I think it's better to be single than to marry the wrong person.

However, no matter who you marry, with patience and tolerance it can succeed. But many people lack patience, tolerance and forgiveness, hence the high divorce rate.

Married life is not the sweetest. In my own analysis the basic premise of marriage is a scam; men put themselves under financial stress all their life for a woman whose feeling of entitlement comes from the Bible and hence scares most guys into compliance....

BigBashiru:
Married life is not the sweetest. In own experience the basic premise of marriage is a scam; men put themselves under financial stress all their life for an ungrateful entitled woman whose feeling of entitlement comes from the Bible and hence scares most guys into compliance....

Marriage is the sweetest because of sex God only permits sex in marriage.

But seriously, a lot of marriages fail today because people marry wrongly.

Another reason is the lack of love, forgiveness and tolerance.

When you are approaching 40 ur mental health will be looking for companionship

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Relocate and have children abroad, your fears will be reduced to a degree

they have been chopping her free. Omo those guys no laugh the guy wey go marry her

JOACHINpedro:
Which guy will reject this term and condition?

judedwriter:
Marriage is the sweetest because of sex God only permits sex in marriage.

But seriously, a lot of marriages fail today because people marry wrongly.

Another reason is the lack of love, forgiveness and tolerance.

"God only permits sex in marriage".... this belief is one of my biggest regrets..... these days only old cargoes get married which means Christians never get the products young and fresh.... Christian men will ever only marry girls that are used up by various other guys before marriage hahahaha.... I deserve better than that so I will hv sex with my young and fresh girlfriend so long as I hv good intentions I think I'm fine....

motivational quotes people. Hian I fear una

Olubee22:
There's nothing wrong with you. Your mental health is important and I salute you for your courage. It's ok to want kids and also fine to not want them. Take care of yourself, surround yourself with good people and enjoy life.

nenyewrites:
Lol, and it's children that won't be busy? If you're no longer living with your parents, how long have you stayed with them when you visited? That's if you've ever visited, because I know so many people that haven't seen their parents for more than 5 years because of economic issues.

Nigerians should start building retirement homes because what people need is companionship not children checking up on them.

You won't get, even if I explain.

BigBashiru:
"God only permits sex in marriage".... this belief is one of my biggest regrets..... these days only old cargoes get married which means Christians never get the products young and fresh.... Christian men will ever only marry girls that are used up by various other guys before marriage hahahaha.... I deserve better than that so I will hv sex with my young and fresh girlfriend so long as I hv good intentions I think I'm fine....

My fellow nairalander, if only you know what you lose spiritually when you have sex outside marriage, you go run o

I have lost so much precious blessings in my former ignorance

judedwriter:
My fellow nairalander, if only you know what you lose spiritually when you have sex outside marriage, you go run o

I have lost so much precious blessings in my former ignorance

That's all bullshit I will hv sex with my young girls and will not dump them afterwards....they become part of my concubine. Gideon did it Solomon did. In this era polygamy is most important....girls even respect polygamists more than monogamists.... na animal kingdom we dey last last

Gentlerespect76:
This decision is self destructive.

you're ill-informed.

haggai247:
This type of your advice dey kill person and millions of people would follow it.

If you want to succeed in life business relationship and find happiness look at what everyone else is doing AND DO THE OPPOSITE.

HERE IS WHY.

1% SUPER RICH
7% AFFLUENCE
20% GETTING BY
75% POOR AND BROKE.
This is the pyramid of life.
Take any population all the pastors, politician, business men nairalanders class mates medical school marriage relationship any population sort itself into a pyramid.

You have to ask yourself some questions if it's pertaining marriage money family or relationship. Here's it.

What are the 1% doing that make them get there and what are the 79% doing that get them there.

If you're sincere with yourself and answer that question every thing will change for you garantee.

As for loneliness if you are not happy with yourself now and get things going for you expecting a child a husband a friend people around to make you happy is a big GAMBLE.

and one can't live his life on gambling.
You have to take responsibility for your own happiness this is a sad reality and I so much resent it but it's the truth.

If you want control over situation in your life you must accept responsibility 100%.

You are Very Perceptive and Intelligent.
I agree 100% with what you said.

Damaged goods, accept our condolence, but know this .......Isolation is insanity, you re built for connection, staying alone will only worsen your condition. Seek spiritual deliverance from genuine pastors (if there are any left).

BigBashiru:
That's all bullshit I will hv sex with my young girls and will not dump them afterwards....they become part of my concubine. Gideon did it Solomon did. In this era polygamy is most important....girls even respect polygamists more than monogamists.... na animal kingdom we dey last last

Anyways... Life remains the best teacher.

Take care of your mental health 1st before anything else

Klass99:
Mwah

People are always pushing the narrative of having children for old age and as a retirement plan, on these streets. But how many of them actively do good, do right and do well by their own parents in real life?

Like you rightly said the Naija economy makes it hard, for folks to regularly visit parents and spend quality time with them, or even support them financially from afar without fail. Life gets busy, people are bugged down with life challenges of unemployment, underemployment, long job searches, fruitless business start ups etcetera and parents are either intentionally or unintentionally neglected by these same children they are told to have for when they are old.

Exactly. Most people are not realistic. And they're also boring, scared and unadventurous. That's why they need children to fill up their lives.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Contact me.
I have an arrangement that might work for u

Poswahala:
Please am not suffering from mood swings..this is something that is affecting my life and not some mood swings

If you live outside Nigeria you are not alone on this.

Marriage is overrated. It is better to be single and happy.

You can adopt a child and be happy... Whatever gives you peace is welcomed.

[quote author=Poswahala post=112893578]Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.[/q
a man somewhere has the same dream like you. two of you can make good companion.