₦airaland Forum

This post is for mature, married folks.

Married folks, you have all had experiences in your various marriages for however long you have stayed married. Most importantly, you have gained knowledge from them. That being said, wisdom is what you can do today but couldn't do before. It's what you would do before but never would now.

So, the question is, If you could travel back through time to advise your younger self about marriage, what advice would you give?

Relax,chill,and love!!!....Be truthful!!!

I have been married for six years now with two beautiful Childre.My advice would be that,1:Don,t be disperate to go into marriage,2: Don,t pretend to be what you are not in order to win a man's heart.3:When your guy friends are around him do not join their conversation when you are not invited even when they are talking about your village people joining a conversation you are not invited will devalue your guy,4:Try to knw when your guy is needt of food don,t always wait 4 him to ask b4 you serve him food.5:If you don't love a man,don't go into marriage with him.6:always be truthful don't ever belive a lie can gurantee you marriage.7:don't hide what you hate and don't hate what he love most just show litle advice if u don't like it.8: don't go into marriage with man who don't love you.9:When a man tells you things that he hates and asked you to stop doing those things he detest don't dare him.10: Be humble.11:don,t always feel without you he can't sx so there4 you will give him sx when you feel like.

My Christian formula:
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves you. Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord.

Durabest:
I have been married for six years now with two beautiful Childre.My advice would be that,1:Don,t be disperate to go into marriage,2: Don,t pretend to be what you are not in order to win a man's heart.3:When your guy friends are around him do not join their conversation when you are not invited even when they are talking about your village people joining a conversation you are not invited will devalue your guy,4:Try to knw when your guy is needt of food don,t always wait 4 him to ask b4 you serve him food.5:If you don't love a man,don't go into marriage with him.6:always be truthful don't ever belive a lie can gurantee you marriage.7:don't hide what you hate and don't hate what he love most just show litle advice if u don't like it.8: don't go into marriage with man who don't love you.9:When a man tells you things that he hates and asked you to stop doing those things he detest don't dare him.10: Be humble.11:don,t always feel without you he can't sx so there4 you will give him sx when you feel like.

Great advice here.

Thanks for your contribution.

Nebes:
My Christian formula:
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves you. Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord.

Noted.

Nebes:
My Christian formula:
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves you. Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord.

Submission is born of God's curse on marriage which rendered marriage of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Genesis 3 vs 16 & Luke 20 vs 34 -36. Therefore, there is nothing "Christian" about marriage, or your formula.

Don't marry Nigerian girls

Don't marry Nigerian boys

I am married for about a decade now, and I am enjoying my marriage. Honestly, if the worse happens and I became a widow, I will not marry any other man, I will train my kids alone. That is how much I love my husband and cherish my marriage. Since childhood, I have always been close to my grandmother, I grew up with her since my mum died when I was a child. I learned a lot from her. I can still remember the advice she gave to me when I wanted to marry my husband, and I will tell you exactly that.

1. Look at the qualities and characters of the man you want to marry. Most ''shine shine'' men, as my grandma will put it are not the real men. `Just as sugar is sweet but unhealthy, lots of men are like that. That bricklayer that sends his mum money in the village every month, that doesn't go to a club, doesn't smoke and buy expensive designers, he might not even give you butterflies, those are the real men. Ten years from now when you are pregnant with your third child, his masculinity will be like an umbrella to protect, provide and be the best father for your kids.

But you see those ones that are doing fine boys only, care more about the phone they use and the girl they sleep with this weekend than their future, those you must avoid. They may be attractive now, but when the difficulties of marriage come especially financially, then you realize that truly, internal beauty (characters and virtues) is what keeps marriage. So do not sacrifice the future due to your youthful exuberance.

2. Look at his patterns, those are the secrets to his future and of course, your future. Does he wakes up and go to work every day? What is the relationship he has with his family? How does he handle stress? is he hardworking? Do people around him respect him? Where does he go after work? What is your assessment of his friends? `What are his goals? etc. You might be clouded with feelings with this assessment especially when you are in love, so you might ask people you trust for advice. I saw this thread some few years ago by pansophist, where he wrote about qualities you should look for in a man for marriage, I implore you to check it out. The guy is on point. As I read through it, I kept nodding my head in affirmation because my husband easily covered all these qualities.

https://www.nairaland.com/6257463/part-two-traits-woman-should

Also when I first met my husband, I wasn't that interested. He appears so ordinary (if you know what I mean), but as I scratch further, the depth of his manliness opens up. I was not attracted at first, but everything fell into place, and I was glad I didn't just brush him away. But I couldn't see his qualities quickly, it was my grandma that pointed it all out. So you should really have someone older, that have walked the talk of marriage, to advise and guide you.

3. Support him. Men are at their best when their wive are supportive. For example, my husband never asks me about my income, but every of my penny goes to my household. The idea that a man has to carry all the financial responsibilities is a self-defeating adventure. Such a woman punishes herself due to her short-sightedness and selfishness by reducing her worth in his eyes, making her easily replaceable.

SavageBoy:
Don't marry Nigerian girls

Okay. White girls then?

Angela62:
I am married for about a decade now, and I am enjoying my marriage. Honestly, if the worse happens and I became a widow, I will not marry any other man, I will train my kids alone. That is how much I love my husband and cherish my marriage. Since childhood, I have always been close to my grandmother, I grew up with her since my mum died when I was a child. I learned a lot from her. I can still remember the advice she gave to me when I wanted to marry my husband, and I will tell you exactly that.

1. Look at the qualities and characters of the man you want to marry. Most ''shine shine'' men, as my grandma will put it are not the real men. `Just as sugar is sweet but unhealthy, lots of men are like that. That bricklayer that sends his mum money in the village every month, that doesn't go to a club, doesn't smoke and buy expensive designers, he might not even give you butterflies, those are the real men. Ten years from now when you are pregnant with your third child, his masculinity will be like an umbrella to protect, provide and be the best father for your kids.

But you see those ones that are doing fine boys only, care more about the phone they use and the girl they sleep with this weekend than their future, those you must avoid. They may be attractive now, but when the difficulties of marriage come especially financially, then you realize that truly, internal beauty (characters and virtues) is what keeps marriage. So do not sacrifice the future due to your youthful exuberance.

2. Look at his patterns, those are the secrets to his future and of course, your future. Does he wakes up and go to work every day? What is the relationship he has with his family? How does he handle stress? is he hardworking? Do people around him respect him? Where does he go after work? What is your assessment of his friends? `What are his goals? etc. You might be clouded with feelings with this assessment especially when you are in love, so you might ask people you trust for advice. I saw this thread some few years ago by a pansophist, where he wrote about qualities you should look for in a man for marriage, I implore you to check it out. The guy is on point. As I read through it, I kept nodding my head in affirmation because my husband easily covered all these qualities.

https://www.nairaland.com/6257463/part-two-traits-woman-should

Also when I first met my husband, I wasn't that interested. He appears so ordinary (if you know what I mean), but as I scratch further, the depth of his manliness opens up. I was not attracted at first, but everything fell into place, and I was glad I didn't just brush him away. But I couldn't see his qualities quickly, it was my grandma that pointed it all out. So you should have someone older, that have walked the talk of marriage, to advise and guide you.

3. Support him. Men are at their best when their wive are supportive. For example, my husband never asks me about my income, but every of my penny goes to my household. The idea that a man has to carry all the financial responsibilities is a self-defeating adventure. Such a woman punishes herself due to her short-sightedness and selfishness by reducing her worth in his eyes, making her easily replaceable.

A worthy read. Very inspiring. I have this pinned. Thanks for this.

Durabest:
I have been married for six years now with two beautiful Childre.My advice would be that,1:Don,t be disperate to go into marriage,2: Don,t pretend to be what you are not in order to win a man's heart.3:When your guy friends are around him do not join their conversation when you are not invited even when they are talking about your village people joining a conversation you are not invited will devalue your guy,4:Try to knw when your guy is needt of food don,t always wait 4 him to ask b4 you serve him food.5:If you don't love a man,don't go into marriage with him.6:always be truthful don't ever belive a lie can gurantee you marriage.7:don't hide what you hate and don't hate what he love most just show litle advice if u don't like it.8: don't go into marriage with man who don't love you.9:When a man tells you things that he hates and asked you to stop doing those things he detest don't dare him.10: Be humble.11:don,t always feel without you he can't sx so there4 you will give him sx when you feel like.

Are you male or female?

I clocked 11 years in matrimony 2022.
Don't be carried away with the glitz and glamourof wedding, prepare for the marriage ahead.
As a woman, be financially inclined. Have a source of income, do not put all the financial responsibilities on the man.
Respect is key for men.
Avoid discussing your issues with every tom, dick and harry.
Never marry a man or woman who is not accountable to anyone.
Be prepared and know that there will be challenges in marriage but you can overcome if others have overcome.
Be prayerful.
Seek a man or woman whom you share similar ideologies. Even on minutest of issues, you will be surprised how inconsequential issues have become big issues in marriages.
Be prepared to compromise because you are different people raised in different backgrounds.
Communication is key. Talk, talk and talk about everything and anything. Never assume.

Kobojunkie:
Submission is born of God's curse on marriage which rendered marriage of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Genesis 3 vs 16 & Luke 20 vs 34 -36. Therefore, there is nothing Christian about marriage or your formula.

I m still trying hard to find out exactly what your problem is!

Kobojunkie:
Submission is born of God's curse on marriage which rendered marriage of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Genesis 3 vs 16 & Luke 20 vs 34 -36. Therefore, there is nothing Christian about marriage or your formula.

Stop misrepresenting Christianity.

bukatyne:
Are you male or female?

He should be a male going by the tone of his post.

ADUKKY:
I clocked 11 years in matrimony 2022.
Don't be carried away with the glitz and glamourof wedding, prepare for the marriage ahead.
As a woman, be financially inclined. Have a source of income, do not put all the financial responsibilities on the man.
Respect is key for men.
Avoid discussing your issues with every tom, dick and harry.
Never marry a man or woman who is not accountable to anyone.
Be prepared and know that there will be challenges in marriage but you can overcome if others have overcome.
Be prayerful.
Seek a man or woman whom you share similar ideologies. Even on minutest of issues, you will be surprised how inconsequential issues have become big issues in marriages.
Be prepared to compromise because you are different people raised in different backgrounds.
Communication is key. Talk, talk and talk about everything and anything. Never assume.

Thanks, ma'am.

Mariangeles:
Stop misrepresenting Christianity.

Just ignore him/her o

UyaiIncomparabl:
He should be a male going by the tone of his post.

I can imagine how his marriage is/how his wife really feels.

The thread says: share what advise YOU would give YOUR younger self about marriage from your experience.

Baba wrote a 10 pager advise to women.

What lesson has he learnt for himself in his marriage?

What has he learnt for himself to become a better husband?

Hmmm...

Acidosis:
Just ignore him/her o

I usually do, but for the sake of those who do not know better.

Mariangeles:
I usually do, but for the sake of those who do not know better.

Good one. E dey post like antichrist

Durabest:
I have been married for six years now with two beautiful Childre.My advice would be that:

1:Don,t be disperate to go into marriage.

2: Don,t pretend to be what you are not in order to win a man's heart.

3:When your guy friends are around him do not join their conversation when you are not invited even when they are talking about your village people joining a conversation you are not invited will devalue your guy.

4:Try to knw when your guy is needt of food don,t always wait 4 him to ask b4 you serve him food.

5:If you don't love a man,don't go into marriage with him.

6:always be truthful don't ever belive a lie can gurantee you marriage.

7:don't hide what you hate and don't hate what he love most just show litle advice if u don't like it.

8: don't go into marriage with man who don't love you.

9:When a man tells you things that he hates and asked you to stop doing those things he detest don't dare him.

10: Be humble.

11:don,t always feel without you he can't sx so there4 you will give him sx when you feel like.

Your wife go don hear nwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

I made it easier for others to read. You're welcome.

Acidosis:
Good one. E dey post like antichrist

Hehehehehehehehe

Mariangeles:
Hehehehehehehehe

How's my oga, Munzy

Acidosis:



How's my oga, Munzy

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Mariangeles:
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I need to speak with him ASAP. I don't understand you two

Kobojunkie:
Submission is born of God's curse on marriage which rendered marriage of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Genesis 3 vs 16 & Luke 20 vs 34 -36. Therefore, there is nothing Christian about marriage or your formula.

Uya, please don't mind Kobo. Completely disregard this post make you no lost

ADUKKY:
I clocked 11 years in matrimony 2022.
Don't be carried away with the glitz and glamourof wedding, prepare for the marriage ahead.
As a woman, be financially inclined. Have a source of income, do not put all the financial responsibilities on the man.
Respect is key for men.
Avoid discussing your issues with every tom, dick and harry.
Never marry a man or woman who is not accountable to anyone.
Be prepared and know that there will be challenges in marriage but you can overcome if others have overcome.
Be prayerful.
Seek a man or woman whom you share similar ideologies. Even on minutest of issues, you will be surprised how inconsequential issues have become big issues in marriages.
Be prepared to compromise because you are different people raised in different backgrounds.
Communication is key. Talk, talk and talk about everything and anything. Never assume.

I love this. These are practical nuggets.

Mariangeles:
Stop misrepresenting Christianity.

Kobo reads her bible through a haze of the finest Kwale weed.

Acidosis:
Good one. E dey post like antichrist

Hahahahaha!