₦airaland Forum

Arkhanmu:
I married my wife in Kaduna two years ago. During those period we were dating, we were very much apart due to distance. She stayed in Kaduna while I worked in Lagos.

During few times of my personal meeting before our wedding, I noticed huge communication between her and this man. I called her attention to it but she just waived it aside saying they are just friends as Ex (stuff). She joined me up in Lagos after the marriage but the communication between them still continued.

This is a woman I have sacrificed so much for in my life by providing her basics need with the children even though not huge like that. She told me the Ex is a Doctor and they have nice experience together while dating back then. I have adviced even begged her to stop this communication as it it very hurtful and insulting to my personality but she won't stop. Instead she secretly calls and requests money from this guy in almost different occasions.

At a point in time in the past when she went to Kaduna to get her transfer from work place to Lagos, she still visit the guy even as she is heavily pregnant that time. I was able to get the idea through her bank account statement when the same guy send her money for what business I don't understand. It is almost 2 years of our marriage now, I am starting to regret why I marry her initially even as I noticed much difference between us; she is from Southern Kaduna while am from Ibadan.

I wish I have married my tribe whom I can easily understand. Just yesterday night I see another 4k alert from the same guy to my wife. I am really pained though I have not confront her. See guys, I have 2 boys, twin, I take care of them, buy food and all.

Though my work is not going fine but I try my best to make her happy but it seems she is not built for me. I don't really know what is going on again in my life as I am heartbroken.

Maybe the man is even in Lagos most times self. Many things are just running through my mind.

wow, I’m also going through this. I have confronted her severally to stop communicating and asking for money from her ex’s but she always get angry about it. I have tried all means to get her to change her phone number but she won’t, even her mom was in support of her daughter. Hmm women can’t change o.

Arkhanmu:
I married my wife in Kaduna two years ago. During those period we were dating, we were very much apart due to distance. She stayed in Kaduna while I worked in Lagos.

During few times of my personal meeting before our wedding, I noticed huge communication between her and this man. I called her attention to it but she just waived it aside saying they are just friends as Ex (stuff). She joined me up in Lagos after the marriage but the communication between them still continued.

This is a woman I have sacrificed so much for in my life by providing her basics need with the children even though not huge like that. She told me the Ex is a Doctor and they have nice experience together while dating back then. I have adviced even begged her to stop this communication as it it very hurtful and insulting to my personality but she won't stop. Instead she secretly calls and requests money from this guy in almost different occasions.

At a point in time in the past when she went to Kaduna to get her transfer from work place to Lagos, she still visit the guy even as she is heavily pregnant that time. I was able to get the idea through her bank account statement when the same guy send her money for what business I don't understand. It is almost 2 years of our marriage now, I am starting to regret why I marry her initially even as I noticed much difference between us; she is from Southern Kaduna while am from Ibadan.

I wish I have married my tribe whom I can easily understand. Just yesterday night I see another 4k alert from the same guy to my wife. I am really pained though I have not confront her. See guys, I have 2 boys, twin, I take care of them, buy food and all.

Though my work is not going fine but I try my best to make her happy but it seems she is not built for me. I don't really know what is going on again in my life as I am heartbroken.

Maybe the man is even in Lagos most times self. Many things are just running through my mind.

na 4k them dey use decieve your wife, na wa, some women sef

God bless you for this. Cheating not perculiar to a tribe. I dated a girl from my tribe for four months. Unknown to me she was meeting another guy in Ajegunle. Perhaps she thought as I live in Lekki, I won't know her movement from her base Alausa to Ajegunle. This is a girl from same village.
Some girls of nowadays are terrible.

Richy4:
I just want to correct an impression buddy...
cheating has nothing to do with tribe.... It doesn't matter if you were married from your own tribe or from another tribe...
Any individual, be it male or female who wants to cheat, will always do so...
Besides most of us including me still have the impression that Hausa people (Females) are extremely faithful...more than any other tribes in Nigeria...
Let her know how that was making you feel... If she desires the ex a lot, I wonder why she did not get married to him instead of putting u through all these nonsense...

Arkhanmu:
I married my wife in Kaduna two years ago. During those period we were dating, we were very much apart due to distance. She stayed in Kaduna while I worked in Lagos.

During few times of my personal meeting before our wedding, I noticed huge communication between her and this man. I called her attention to it but she just waived it aside saying they are just friends as Ex (stuff). She joined me up in Lagos after the marriage but the communication between them still continued.

This is a woman I have sacrificed so much for in my life by providing her basics need with the children even though not huge like that. She told me the Ex is a Doctor and they have nice experience together while dating back then. I have adviced even begged her to stop this communication as it it very hurtful and insulting to my personality but she won't stop. Instead she secretly calls and requests money from this guy in almost different occasions.

At a point in time in the past when she went to Kaduna to get her transfer from work place to Lagos, she still visit the guy even as she is heavily pregnant that time. I was able to get the idea through her bank account statement when the same guy send her money for what business I don't understand. It is almost 2 years of our marriage now, I am starting to regret why I marry her initially even as I noticed much difference between us; she is from Southern Kaduna while am from Ibadan.

I wish I have married my tribe whom I can easily understand. Just yesterday night I see another 4k alert from the same guy to my wife. I am really pained though I have not confront her. See guys, I have 2 boys, twin, I take care of them, buy food and all.

Though my work is not going fine but I try my best to make her happy but it seems she is not built for me. I don't really know what is going on again in my life as I am heartbroken.

Maybe the man is even in Lagos most times self. Many things are just running through my mind.

. She doesn't love you. You are just married to yourself.
Are you truely the father of those kids?

medropoly:
Blood of Manasseh,
Of all the tribes in Nigeria you choose to marry an OTEPU WOMAN (Kaduna state girl,) from Kaduna south self....
Damn nigga, no disregards but with my years, encounters and stay with Kaduna state girls, I can boldly say they are all low levelOlosho

To date or marry an Otepu girl is the 2nd most risky thing on earth...

Are you sure they give free puna

Cyphar:
Sorry to say this... ARE YOU SURE THE KIDS ARE YOURS? Those money could be money to take care of the doctor's kids....


She even visited when she was heavily pregnant so that the owner go top am

Bro try go do DNA first. e get why.

You made a lot of sense. I was thinking the same thing concerning the kids father and her visit while pregnant.

That means you are stingy towards her. There is no way you will give her money regularly for her upkeep and she will still beg outside.

Brother this your write up typically explains what happened to me past years same from southern kaduna and I also is from ibadan working in Lagos and I travel to kaduna 5 times a year and we communicate 7 hours a day, you can imagine what I spent on airtime, but our own issues is that, she still communicate with her ex and the which I call him as third-party involved in our relationship any of our issues. Basically she explain every dam things to him, any I ended up the relationship last year.

Toktee:
That gender is very useless.... take out that unsafe borehole in between their legs and see how useless they are.


I pity who prioritise that hole.

True

Arkhanmu:
I married my wife in Kaduna two years ago. During those period we were dating, we were very much apart due to distance. She stayed in Kaduna while I worked in Lagos.

During few times of my personal meeting before our wedding, I noticed huge communication between her and this man. I called her attention to it but she just waived it aside saying they are just friends as Ex (stuff). She joined me up in Lagos after the marriage but the communication between them still continued.

This is a woman I have sacrificed so much for in my life by providing her basics need with the children even though not huge like that. She told me the Ex is a Doctor and they have nice experience together while dating back then. I have adviced even begged her to stop this communication as it it very hurtful and insulting to my personality but she won't stop. Instead she secretly calls and requests money from this guy in almost different occasions.

At a point in time in the past when she went to Kaduna to get her transfer from work place to Lagos, she still visit the guy even as she is heavily pregnant that time. I was able to get the idea through her bank account statement when the same guy send her money for what business I don't understand. It is almost 2 years of our marriage now, I am starting to regret why I marry her initially even as I noticed much difference between us; she is from Southern Kaduna while am from Ibadan.

I wish I have married my tribe whom I can easily understand. Just yesterday night I see another 4k alert from the same guy to my wife. I am really pained though I have not confront her. See guys, I have 2 boys, twin, I take care of them, buy food and all.

Though my work is not going fine but I try my best to make her happy but it seems she is not built for me. I don't really know what is going on again in my life as I am heartbroken.

Maybe the man is even in Lagos most times self. Many things are just running through my mind.

Though my work is not going fine but I try my best to make her happy but it seems she is not built for me. I don't really know what is going on again in my life as I am heartbroken.

My man, I’m very sorry for what you are going through.
I have highlighted the key to your issues…Once things are not going well with your work or business, most naija women will immediately return to their old flame…I hate to let you know that you are no longer in control of your wife or marriage, her ex who gives her money is fully in control. He even gives her permission when to make love to you…that is just the way it is, and it is very sad.
Also keep in mind that your issue has absolutely nothing to do with tribe…this is what happens once you connect with a wrong wife, regardless of her tribe (bloodf00ls come from all tribe).


My advise for you is to fix whatever is going on with your job, first get yourself back on track and then figure out what you want to do. But for now, just try your best to take it easy, be strong and focus on yourself. Give yourself a chance to make the right decision at the right time. I can assure you that once your job situation is sorted out all things will fall in place....And that is when you can reassess things and then make the right decision.
A busybody wife will remain busy, especially when the family is faced with a challenge...I will suggest to free her when the time is right, let her go and live with the fellow that gives her money.

Good luck bro!

Arkhanmu:
Our relationship is long distance one.We rarely see most times.Maybe 4 times in a year,but when we do see,I check all these messages and signs and she promise to stop.But I wish I can turn back the hand of time.Well we do communicate everyday when we are dating back then.

Long distance relationship! The worst relationship you can be in if you have a busy body girl or a busy body guy..

I won't even advise an enemy to put head...

She just played you...sorry man!

Carry your cross..or don't you have ex? Or ladies jn your work place..

Since you begged her you are hurting, and she continued, dude keep your games up...Two can play better..

Rubbish!

Arkhanmu:
I am starting to regret why I marry her initially even as I noticed much difference between us; she is from Southern Kaduna while am from Ibadan.

How did u meet this lady?
U approached her or someone introduced her to u?

Arkhanmu:
I married my wife in Kaduna two years ago. During those period we were dating, we were very much apart due to distance. She stayed in Kaduna while I worked in Lagos.

During few times of my personal meeting before our wedding, I noticed huge communication between her and this man. I called her attention to it but she just waived it aside saying they are just friends as Ex (stuff). She joined me up in Lagos after the marriage but the communication between them still continued.

This is a woman I have sacrificed so much for in my life by providing her basics need with the children even though not huge like that. She told me the Ex is a Doctor and they have nice experience together while dating back then. I have adviced even begged her to stop this communication as it it very hurtful and insulting to my personality but she won't stop. Instead she secretly calls and requests money from this guy in almost different occasions.

At a point in time in the past when she went to Kaduna to get her transfer from work place to Lagos, she still visit the guy even as she is heavily pregnant that time. I was able to get the idea through her bank account statement when the same guy send her money for what business I don't understand. It is almost 2 years of our marriage now, I am starting to regret why I marry her initially even as I noticed much difference between us; she is from Southern Kaduna while am from Ibadan.

I wish I have married my tribe whom I can easily understand. Just yesterday night I see another 4k alert from the same guy to my wife. I am really pained though I have not confront her. See guys, I have 2 boys, twin, I take care of them, buy food and all.

Though my work is not going fine but I try my best to make her happy but it seems she is not built for me. I don't really know what is going on again in my life as I am heartbroken.

Maybe the man is even in Lagos most times self. Many things are just running through my mind.

oga go do DNA..u are training someones child..so painfull

Kobojunkie:
_{Then why did they bother moving out of their parents homes when they got married. Since family ought to be involved, they should have simply lived in the same house with family so their moms and dads can continue monitoring their lives that way too.}

Turd!

Na problem wey some men they face be this,dem go carry love for head.me Dey always allow gf or even the wife will marry have much love than I have for her shikena

Bros abeg no be woman wey you marry with your money dey misbehave this way . you never teach lesson try show am the hard way say na man u be. She is just taking you for granted. Guess her erst is richer than you and is not ready that's why she married you. Until you send back her mama house make she stay there for 3 weeks . Her eye go clear

I think there’s nothing wrong in asssiting someone you used to date as long as there’s no attachment

You assist folks you don’t know but especially those you know. Sometimes some folks don’t marry for things like genotype but there’s no bad blood. If s/he’s in need and you can afford it there’s no big deal as long as you don’t try to sleep with her or relive old memories

Kobojunkie:
I personally don't agree with getting her family involved as I believe marriage is instead an affair between a man and his wife. Telling her sister of what she has been up to amounts to reporting her affairs to family as if a child, shaming if you would. She is an adult and shouldn't have to be subjected to such treatment regardless of what she has done.

I would instead recommend professional marriage counseling where an unbiased professional gets to help you properly reach a resolution that best fits you both.

What kind confusing advice is this? Na by force to advise people?

Yankee101:
I think there’s nothing wrong in asssiting someone you used to date as long as there’s no attachment

And you think there is no attachment and secret visits in this case?

Bmaster:
To those ladies who always pretend to be totally asleep but when you start removing their pants, they will raise waist a bit to help you remove it nicely.... May God bless you financially

bros come enter heaven ma dey see you.

DBestDoc:
I still haven’t wrapped my head around the reason people keep touch with their ex partners. It just makes zero sense to me.

The moment you’re done, you should be done forever, there are millions of people, both male and female to be friends with na. Except of Course you have kids you’re coparenting.


Op, she’s a grown woman and there isn’t much you can do to change her, unfortunately.

Didn't know someone with your type of sense especially a lady is in here

Munzy14:
<sup>Long distance relationship! The worst relationship you can be in if you have a busy body girl or a busy body guy..

I won't even advise an enemy to put head...

She just played you...sorry man!

Carry your cross..or don't you have ex? Or ladies jn your work place..

Since you begged her you are hurting, and she continued, dude keep your games up...Two can play better..

Rubbish!</sup>

Baba don enter one chance. You see girls/women nowadays. If them no carry belle enter man house; once you pay bride price for overused kpekus, them will do all .. to get pregnant - its called anchor baby. No be for yankee only them do am.

Bad women, who want to make it harder for the man to walk away get pregnant .. fast. I don warn men, 2 years before pregnancy .. but no to pay pampers money dey scratch them. ...

Such amount like 4k
Such a cheap woman you got there

Op's best bet might just be to call the Doctor, warn him to stop calling or entertaining any call from your wife or else, you'll inform his wife, and also come to his Church during Sunday service to raise the matter. I understand most Southern Kadunas are Christians.

I tell you, even the most crooked cheat would fear disgrace inside Church. Of course, you're not going to do it, but trust me the threat of doing it will work. He will panick. She'll block your wife's number sharp sharp.

Nobody wants their fake holier-than-thou life to be bursted in full view of those who respect them in Church.

Then sit back and wait for your wife's reaction. Don't tell her you did anything.

That's so unfortunate bro.most married men have that headache now. It's not gonna be easy but try and focus on something that will get ur mind occupied and move on,the more u get worried about it the money u are dying slowly and the game will still be going on.juzt pick urself up and hustle harder.life is too short for u to be unfortunate. Nobody is worth dying for.the only woman that truly loves u is ur mum.goodluck.

Arkhanmu:
I married my wife in Kaduna two years ago. During those period we were dating, we were very much apart due to distance. She stayed in Kaduna while I worked in Lagos.

During few times of my personal meeting before our wedding, I noticed huge communication between her and this man. I called her attention to it but she just waived it aside saying they are just friends as Ex (stuff). She joined me up in Lagos after the marriage but the communication between them still continued.

This is a woman I have sacrificed so much for in my life by providing her basics need with the children even though not huge like that. She told me the Ex is a Doctor and they have nice experience together while dating back then. I have adviced even begged her to stop this communication as it it very hurtful and insulting to my personality but she won't stop. Instead she secretly calls and requests money from this guy in almost different occasions.

At a point in time in the past when she went to Kaduna to get her transfer from work place to Lagos, she still visit the guy even as she is heavily pregnant that time. I was able to get the idea through her bank account statement when the same guy send her money for what business I don't understand. It is almost 2 years of our marriage now, I am starting to regret why I marry her initially even as I noticed much difference between us; she is from Southern Kaduna while am from Ibadan.

I wish I have married my tribe whom I can easily understand. Just yesterday night I see another 4k alert from the same guy to my wife. I am really pained though I have not confront her. See guys, I have 2 boys, twin, I take care of them, buy food and all.

Though my work is not going fine but I try my best to make her happy but it seems she is not built for me. I don't really know what is going on again in my life as I am heartbroken.

Maybe the man is even in Lagos most times self. Many things are just running through my mind.

Bro, it is a simple case for me. What you need to do is monitor her, notice the times she call him, chat him, text him. Don't show like you're worried. Then, mimic that pattern and chat the stupid Ex. From there you will find out all the secret you need. After that, call the Ex in your Wife's presence and blast the hell out of him. And then give her a stern warning that. Her Ex or her marriage. (But mind you. Any secret you discovered. I'm not responsible for your pains.) If you can do that, that will put an end to your problem.

maasoap:
And you think there is no attachment and secret visits in this case?

I would doubt
I can send gifts without any attachment
He can make sure of that for his self assurance

Faber:
One of my ex girlfriends told me clearly that any man that marries her will be in soup because she will continue to cheat on him with me and she means it.

She is with a new guy now and still wants to be visiting me in Benin City. She stays in Lagos...she keep sending her nudes. We broke up since 2018. Some girls are just hooked up to their ex. They only married their husbands for marriage sake.

Op there's nothing you can do other than a) kill her ex, track him down and kill him. b) Divorce . The choice is yours.

Then why didn't she come back to you, and two of you date again and marry if she can't be without you ?

UjuJoan2:
People celebrate birthdays for their ex’s? Jeeeez, that is just not true. If they have kids together, yes. But not when they are broken up and married to other people with their own families, with no children to keep them together.

Occasionally communication is fine, but constantly communicating and exchanging gifts is a huge RED flag . It send the wrong signal, period!

If you have ever told your ex happy birthday,Happy wedding anniversary on DM then what's the difference between having them pick up a cake for their day and wishing happy birthday.
Let's not create enemy and scenarios that should not be...
Can do things and things for my ex if I have...10k,20,30,100k....1m if God gives me...

People should not reason backwards...
There was a time I need to pay up for something which I wasn't with my card...Just chatted him up and said abeg,help me pay up for this which he did and it was delivered to my house....
Later sent back the money to him...In tight corner he calls me for assistance and I do to my best capability.. So,he rescues me too in tight corner too if need be...
Have paid for cakes, and he picked up for his children's bday...He have done for mine too..

An ex should not be about sex sex sex bikonu my people...
The only thing here is to draw curtain and limits. Don't call ex when not necessary...Be friends not enemies.
Maturity is the key...
African people mentality dey tire me sometimes.

Ebubu:
Then why didn't she come back to you ?

Na me pursue her. On top her super beauty, her hot temper no be here. She don beg tire, say she don change, me no need hot tempered people around me...