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I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Ndidi2: 9:13am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:


If he had told me from the beginning I would have advised him to go back to her so they can raise their chikd together because he left her because of the child condition which is not fair. Yes my parents are happy to have me back. I am from a family where they are happy to have me back alive than in a coffin.
Nne God be with you..

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Riversstate: 9:14am On Jul 31, 2022
JONNYSPUTE:
..,.. Lol. What if after given birth she finds out that her own child has the same issue? Wetin she go do?

Maybe drop her child with the husband and jepa her own

This is why ultrasound scan is important
Early scan and at 20 weeks should reveal any fetal anomaly.

The man lied so she can leave

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nobody: 9:14am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.
Don't leave just yet...

Give him these conditions:
1. Let him employ a lady specifically for the child.
2. The child should have her own room...for her comfort, privacy and for the person employed to take care of her.

On your own part, try check on the child regularly to ensure the employee is doing her job well
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Bishop093(m): 9:14am On Jul 31, 2022
Truly, it is not an easy thing to cater to someone's child that requires special attention.
Secondly, your husband never told you about having a child before marriage may be due to fear of losing you.
Then, it is also true that you don't love your husband. The way you sound about him being poor, makes me say so.
You feel you did him a favour by marrying him and that is why you feel that the suffering is much for you which makes you say that another woman should come and marry him and take care of the child.
I will not tell you to stay or to live because your mind is made up rather I will tell you to talk to your subconscious mind and see if you are about doing the right thing.

Thank you as you reflect on your actions.
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by TheFacelessMan: 9:14am On Jul 31, 2022
delishpot:


Take the child off their hands for 4 months to help them settle on their feet. To avoid her poisoning the child. Afterall you are a better person so do tbe sacrigice for the childs and God's sake.

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Sterope(f): 9:14am On Jul 31, 2022
That is a very different scenario. His child isn't hers and vice versa.
JONNYSPUTE:
..,.. Lol. What if after given birth she finds out that her own child has the same issue? Wetin she go do?

Maybe drop her child with the husband and jepa her own

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by generalwo(m): 9:16am On Jul 31, 2022
If she was your child will you abandon her? Advise her dad to employ a maid to assist with taking care of the child.... Marriage is for better for worse..... You leaving him because of this defies everything a good marriage stands for.... He messed up not telling you about the child in the first place but i advise you forgive him..... Children are blessings.... No matter the disability or conditions they are in..... I didn't say it's easy but think twice before you leave..... Don't love for the good times only..... Unless you already have someone you're seeing and then you're using this as an excuse to japa.... Let me ask... What if it's your husband that had an accident and finds himself in such a condition... That's how u will leave him and go abi..... If na man dey do this one now... Them go begin shout men are scum follow everywhere... It is well Sha..... I have always said it that this generation knows nothing about true love... They love only for the good times... When the going gets tough..... They change without thinking twice
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by kollinz1234(m): 9:16am On Jul 31, 2022
Ndidi2:
Nkita rachaa gi Anya..

Na u karma go deal with

Nonsense
I understand your frustrations. Nigeria is not easy on anyone. I didn't tell her what to do, I only stated the obvious.

If this situation was vise versa now, you simple men would have called the man names if he leaves the marriage.
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nobody: 9:16am On Jul 31, 2022
It breaks my heart when I see people being fooled into believing they are loved unconditionally. People will conviniently walk away from you when the going gets tough.

I see everyone encouraging her to leave but no one is asking her the very important question; what would you have done if the child was yours? Why is nobody interested in the answer to that question? I have an idea, she will walk away. Stop excusing certain things in life.

Now my advice to men and women alike. Stop marrying people you don't know. A lot of people have a very low tolerance for stress and trials of life. Stop being stupid. Date people for as long as possible. Let life test you and your partner. Your relationship have to be proven beyond reasonable doubt to be able to stand the test of time.

There is no excuse for walking away from someone you love. A lot of Nigerians are just marrying and dating to survive. They don't know what love is. Only the luckiest of people ever experience true love. What if this man was in an accident or had a stroke? Is this how she will wake away too? This woman is lazy and obviously don't even know this man.

Nigerians forget about fine face, small waist, big bumbum and Big breast. These things don't matter in marriage. People only realize this when it's already too late.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by advanceDNA: 9:17am On Jul 31, 2022
JONNYSPUTE:
..,.. Lol. What if after given birth she finds out that her own child has the same issue? Wetin she go do?

Maybe drop her child with the husband and jepa her own


Dont be unfortunate....did she say she will not care for her own??
Let each mother care for her own....why will the mother think its okay to come and dump a child with special needs for another woman...

If that's not witchcraft then I dont know what is
.

9 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by iammarvellux(m): 9:17am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:


I am 7 months pregnant it is my first pregnancy I should be resting a lot but ever since the girl came I have been up and down , lifting her , feeding and changing nappies it is not easy. Well I can't answer your question about remarriying because it is only God that knows what the future will bring for me.
I always tell people no matter how you sugar coat a lie, one day the coat will fall away thereby leaving the truth bare.

Truth can't be hidden.. now you seen the truth and your option is to share the grace and leave the marriage with another unborn child belonging to both of you..
Don't you think the neglect you have shown to this child with special needs will hunt you later in life..of cos the unborn child now has a step sister.

No man can run away from his shadows.

But op if I may ask you, how old is this Child with special need?

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by H0711(f): 9:18am On Jul 31, 2022
Cutehector:
if God leave you, can you stand in life?

You should ask that question to her parents my hubby and her mother . He abandoned her for the child condition and she also abandoned her because he wasn't providing for her. Why are you making me feel guilty as if I am the one who birth her. I don't owe her anything but I have done my best for the past one week taking care of her 24/7 in this my condition and do you think is easy? If it is easy come and join us so we can take care of her together

14 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by kollinz1234(m): 9:18am On Jul 31, 2022
delishpot:


Is that a threat? You go and take the child na at least God has brought you in the know so save it since you too dont know what you or your child will give birth to in the future. If tables were turned would you say tbese to the man if he ran to this forum to rant how his new wifes ex brought a disabbled child she never told him about to abandon for him? Makr una dey fear God. Cursing her i a pregnant state for no sin of hers is quite demonic. You are a child of satan disguising as if you are from God..
child of Satan? Hahhahahaha. So you asking her to leave her marriage is "Godly" and a "child of God?. :DFrom your discuss, I can tell that you are a frustrated man and life generally is not fair to you. Why should I share same opinion with you
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by ajerimitan: 9:18am On Jul 31, 2022
In life we make choices and take decisions everyday. A life without regrets is a life that has never been truly lived to the fullest. Taking easy route and quick fix more often than not do not end well. If he was in your shoes he might bail out as well. But prove to be different. Loving a soul in a higher dimension such as that brings special grace and blessing from God. If you take care of that child and show her unconditional love to the pointvyhat if you expire today the child will almost likely expire tomorrow did you know what that means. If you are marked to die with that pregnancy of yours you will not die. Because it is not yet time for that special child with challenges to die yet. What ever will add to your sorrow and make that child sad will never happen which means and includes that your unborn child will never have cerebral palsy. The benefits are endless. Just imagined that David made the easy choice and murdered Saul in that cave Goday not judge David but what goes around comes around. He might have definitely been assassinated by his own men on the long run after all he laid the precepts.
You may take that child to a care giver or school for special needs. Of you do not have much money on you you can call this woman and negotiate the price, explain your situation to her she might understand. 0--8--0--3--3--7--8--1--9--9--1--.: she has a care home. When you sow a seed of love you reap an oak. Love is a easier route to answered prayers and divine protection than offerings sacrifices fasting prayers and all. There is a reason God brought that child your way. Please follow God's compass and lean not on your own understanding. Pray for strength and Love.

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Ugmama(m): 9:19am On Jul 31, 2022
Nawao the woman that gave birth to such child and the man no try o.

My dear daughter, please do what you feel is best for you.

Marriage built in deceit or lies is null and void

Cerebral palsy is usually caused by a problem that affects the development of a baby's brain while it's growing in the womb. These include: damage to part of the brain called white matter, possibly as a result of a reduced blood or oxygen supply. It could also result due to maternal infection during pregnancy.

Modified*
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by generalwo(m): 9:19am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:




Thank you . Right now he can't afford that 200k monthly , his younger sister has refused to come and help taking care of the child. Me too I can't kill myself in my condition and I will leave next month.
.... U always wanted to leave.... No use the pikin as excuse.... Which kind nanny dey take 200k?? How much dem dey pay graduate wen nanny dey take 200k?? With as small as 40k....u will get someone to cater for that kid every month..... If u Wan commot, commot... But don't use the innocent child as an excuse.... If na your husband get accident come dey that kind condition.... Na so u go Waka leave am abi?? I have always said it..... After the devil, fear women... If he was as rich as Dangote, I am sure u won't consider leaving him.... Otedola pikin, women are dying to take care of him because of his father's money..... Na so una dey do... No be today....
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by AfroKnight: 9:19am On Jul 31, 2022
I think you should report the stoopid mother who dumped her own child with you. Then leave the marriage. A man who can hide a whole child from you until after marriage is hiding other things. This is a dishonest man. Run.

This is a man who ran away from raising his child with special needs. You should come to terms with the fact that you will be a single mother. Life is not always fair.

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Daughterboard(m): 9:20am On Jul 31, 2022
The most difficult decision is the only decision to make.
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Drfernandez(m): 9:20am On Jul 31, 2022
Jovialjune1:



Pls leave.

Since he can keep something as huge as a child, who knows what else he's keeping from you

You are justified to leave abeg.

Just imagine if your husband had left you after finding out that the street boys you got intimate with have released your nude photos online. I guess you are counting yourself among the godly people ever since Abbey instructed Abiodun to remove your nude photos from Twitter.

I am not in support of what the husband of the thread owner did.
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Kingpin1000: 9:20am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:


Thank you . I am leaving next month
Hope you won't remarry, because you'll be giving responsibility to another man.
You'll be paid in your own coin.
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by wowcatty: 9:20am On Jul 31, 2022
This is how some people here want to turn this woman into a single mother, smh!

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by miyagi01(m): 9:20am On Jul 31, 2022
A lot of single idiots be giving you stupid comment. The worse mistake you can do is to leave your marriage and go and become a babymama in the village. My advice; give your husband probably 3weeks ultimatum to get a home for disabled for her, you can also search for affordable ones online. Best wishes
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nobody: 9:21am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

Please gladly leave the marriage as it has a very faulty foundation. The responsibility he wants to leave on you is just too much and it will weigh you down. I had a neighbor who’s child had this same condition, the child always fell sick! Always crying in pain and at the end still died after 3 years.

I advise you make your husband understand that you love him but sacrificing your life comfort for him and his disabled baby is not something you can do in the long run.

Those saying you should stay are insensitive! If the coin flips am sure they won’t hesitate to advise your husband to throw you out.

5 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nobody: 9:21am On Jul 31, 2022
For now the life inside of you is most important... Because both you and the baby are sharing same life...please take care of yourself give birth first away from anything that could be a problems, stress...emotionally or physically

What we don't understand in Africa is that a mother's stress emotionally or physically is passed down to the child in her womb.

The baby can be born feeling exactly the way you're feeling in some days without knowing why. Those includes FEAR, ANXIETY, HEART BREAKS etc...

We have a long way to go in Africa forget about church and what your pastor or rev will advice leave now be in sound mind till you give birth...

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by H0711(f): 9:21am On Jul 31, 2022
iammarvellux:

I always tell people no matter how you sugar coat a lie, one day the coat will fall away thereby leaving the truth bare.

Truth can't be hidden.. now you seen the truth and your option is to share the grace and leave the marriage with another unborn child belonging to both of you..
Don't you think the neglect you have shown to this child with special needs will hunt you later in life..of cos the unborn child now has a step sister.

No man can run away from his shadows.



But op if I may ask you, how old is this Child with special need?


Why should it hunt me when her father has decided to abandoned the mother due to her condition and the mother has also abandoned her because the father wasn't providing upkeep and why do I have to carry the blame for? Nothing will hunt me that hunt should go back to her parents they should do something for their child not me. I have decided to go back with my own child and even if I birth my child no matter the challenge I will face in the village I will never drop him with him. I will take care of him
She is 7 years old

9 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by generalwo(m): 9:21am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:


Thank you. He can't afford a maid and his younger sister has refused to come and help. I am also leaving next month.
.... Everybody wan leave the man... Please give me his number... I am a guy but I will work with him to get help for the child...... U can leave... He won't die and the child won't either... Go and live the bread and butter life you want to... Even if na 10k I take dey assist the child every Month... I will do it.... U have always wanted to leave... Don't use the child as an excuse... If it was your mother or father that found themselves in that condition in their old age... Is that how u will abandon them?? Abeg dey go
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Cutehector(m): 9:21am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:


You should ask that question to her parents my hubby and her mother . He abandoned her for the child condition and she also abandoned her because he wasn't providing for her. Why are you making me feel guilty as if I am the one who birth her. I don't owe her anything but I have done my best for the past one week taking care of her 24/7 in this my condition and do you think is easy? If it is easy come and join us so we can take care of her together
its your cross, carry it.. Why are you a christian?
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nobody: 9:21am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.
Your husband is the one that is heartless here , so he left the first lady due to the condition of his child & now he wants you to help him shoulder his responsibility , something that both him & his first wife would have done . Most times is good for someone to dig deep into the family he or she wants to marry into before getting married , a lot of people are out there with lies and deceits , may God help us all.

5 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by BigDawsNet: 9:21am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

Don't leave him
He messed up not telling you about his kid...

Anyway since he can't afford the bills for the baby welfare...

Try and employ a maid, you can pay her 20k per month or less... I believe ur hubby will be able to finance that...

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel... don't leave him... all this is a test and you will overcome it
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Cutehector(m): 9:21am On Jul 31, 2022
generalwo:
.... Everybody wan leave the man... Please give me his number... I am a guy but I will work with him to get help for the child...... U can leave... He won't die and the child won't either... Go and live the bread and butter life you want to... Even if na 10k I take dey assist the child every Month... I will do it.... U have always wanted to leave... Don't use the child as an excuse... If it was your mother or father that found themselves in that condition in their old age... Is that how u will abandon them?? Abeg dey go
swears...make she get out.

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Sterope(f): 9:21am On Jul 31, 2022
It is real interesting that you guys don't stop talking about love. Lmao. Who knew Nigerians can love like this?

Cerebral palsy is no joke. That is your whole life gone. For someone else's child with no monetary support and a father that would leave her to it, let her make a decision that is best for her and the child.

14 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by 00FFT00(m): 9:22am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

Madam, your husband was wrong, is still wrong for not leveling up with you. You are definitely disappointed, and maybe angry also. You have the right to be. I am not writing to tell you what to do. Do what your spirit says to you.

However, let's be clear that this child has no fault in her situation. This child is also a sibling to the child you carry in your body. The situation is definitely overburdening, but time heals every wound. If you will, become wiser than the man you married. He acted selfish, even foolishly.

Call a meeting with his people and also invite the child's mother. Let a family conference wade in and discuss the way forward also taking your interest into consideration, specifically, your limited capacity to fully engage in your maternity situation, and the burden of caring for a disabled child and a newborn baby at the same time soon.

Whatever you do, let your humanity lead. Life has a way of talking back to us.

Feel me?.

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