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Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyShould I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? (52408 Views)

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Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Nyamuri: 8:49pm On Sep 21, 2022
Lol I'm using Eva soap, what's wrong with it pls?
HRHQueenPhil:
U did nothing wrong, someone needs to tell her the truth...I use to smell like a rotten fish too till d day I was insulted inside bus.. pls if u are still using Eva soap, stop it immediately..buy her gifts of good soap, perfume and anti persperant
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by culf: 8:50pm On Sep 21, 2022
Ginaz:
i don't know how i should have gone about it. i wasn't shouting, didn't use demeaning tone, there was privacy, she sat down while i was talking to her and her body language was comfortable. of all things i said to her, it was "you don't smell nice" she choose to pick up.

I'm confused ! what's another word to use in replaced of "you don't smell nice".? i felt embarrassed she took offense when i had good intentions about her wellbeing.

People are even saying buy gifts, buy that!

ha! saying the truth is very expensive these days!
to me, they is nothing bad in your choice of words, its just her insecurity and please don't feel bad, you did the right thing.
My issues is you would have held her and give her a piece of your mind for giving you attitude instead of being grateful to you, that is if her action is not based on the fact that she is shy and can't face you because of what happened
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Nobody: 8:50pm On Sep 21, 2022
Ginaz:
A teen in my compound has a problem with body odor. several times she come to my house left the air smelling so stale and rotten, i noticed her younger sister had same issue too.

i couldn't take it anymore, it was so bad and i was afraid she might be mocked in the future if nothing is done to combat it.

i asked her if she ever heard about roll-on or antiperspirant, she replied NO! shocked and this is someone using an iphone and changes clothing periodically. shocked

i gave her my antiperspirant and taught her the need to use it daily as most of the odor comes from her armpit. i told her point blank she doesn't smell nice, her face changed somehow as if i insulted her and she left.

i saw her today and she walked passed me while i was trying to talk to her.

did i do wrong ? children of these days.
Most people are like that, honestly. It's very hard to correct people even when you're obviously trying to save them from problems...

At least you've done your bit. Leave her to her folly, it she likes, let her keep stinking up and down. IF POSSIBLE, DON'T ALLOW HER VISIT YOU ANYMORE.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Iamthoney(m): 8:50pm On Sep 21, 2022
Thumbs up
goodamerican:
Telling her she didn't smell nice, acting shocked when she said she had never heard of antiperspirant, giving her an antiperspirant you've used ― all make your approach seem offensive and like you were mocking her. You probably presented your message in these manner, so you can't blame her for not greeting you. This is a sensitive something, meaning your words AND your body language have to be kind, otherwise the individual will take offense.

Imo, If I'm going to do something like this, I'll probably buy a gift set of some sort beforehand: consisting of some yummy-smelling soap, body wash, sponge, shaving stuff, antiperspirant, etc. Then, when next I see her, I would sit her down, start by saying I care (telling her this first will let her know I'm not trying to offend), then tell her I often perceive an odor from her. At this point, she would likely ask what kind of odor, then I would tell her in a gentle way, then bring out the gift set and tell her how to use them.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Zonefree(m): 8:52pm On Sep 21, 2022
goodamerican:
Lmao. And you think I like you? Bwahahaha. *Laughs in Spanish*

You don't need to project your insecurities onto me, wretched one. It's you and your entire family that dark energy surrounds. You're obviously a lost cause to have turned what should be an easy-going thread into an angry one, exuding anger at a teenager and at an unknown person over the internet. Have a thousand seats and calm down, then go for deliverance to free yourself from the spirit of anger and the host of other spirits that's undoubtedly dealing with your lame ass.

Me and mines are protected and covered by the blood of Jesus.

Typical olodo, when you can't argue intelligently, you attack the other's intelligence. You're obviously a narcissist in female form and have deep-rooted issues you need to sort out. Whether you think I'm intelligent or not isn't my cup of tea, as in what's my business with that? My American and Canadian citizenship speak for themselves. My work and money speak for themselves, boo. As I've kindly suggested above, please go for deliverance; you're in dire need of it.
What's your problem? Are you the teen girl?


@Ginaz. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing the right thing. A secondary school girl using iPhone should at least know how to keep her body clean.

Are these people expecting you to make a cup of coffee for the girl before letting her know she stinks?

You did the right thing and don't feel offended by her silly actions. Don't even talk to her again as she's planning to insult you. Girls her age will never take correction no matter how you present it.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by backnbeta(f): 8:52pm On Sep 21, 2022
Ginaz:
i don't know how i should have gone about it. i wasn't shouting, didn't use demeaning tone, there was privacy, she sat down while i was talking to her and her body language was comfortable. of all things i said to her, it was "you don't smell nice" she choose to pick up.

I'm confused ! what's another word to use in replaced of "you don't smell nice".? i felt embarrassed she took offense when i had good intentions about her wellbeing.

People are even saying buy gifts, buy that!

ha! saying the truth is very expensive these days!
You did your best. Believe me, there's no subtle way to tell an outsider -especially a lady- that she has body odor because it's a very sensitive topic. If you buy the suggested gift set, she may still feel insulted. However, I think you should still be the bigger person by asking her why she's ignoring you and use that opportunity to apologize if she felt offended; let her know you meant well for her... you live in the same area and you will run into each other often.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by yemi1504: 8:53pm On Sep 21, 2022
HRHQueenPhil:
U did nothing wrong, someone needs to tell her the truth...I use to smell like a rotten fish too till d day I was insulted inside bus.. pls if u are still using Eva soap, stop it immediately..buy her gifts of good soap, perfume and anti persperant
What is wrong with Eva soap?
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by OKOATA(m): 8:53pm On Sep 21, 2022
Reminded me of the day I told my ex her pussy stunk, that marked the end of the relationship. I have no regrets.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Kajaard: 8:54pm On Sep 21, 2022
You did absolutely nothing wrong. I can't stand people with bad smells like body odour or mouth odour. I get migraines when I stay too close to such people.

You did the right thing joor.

cc: Ginaz
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Bashdt: 8:55pm On Sep 21, 2022
What you did is not wrong but how you did it is inappropriate. That you told her point blank and in the presence of another person (it doesn't matter who the person is to her) that she doesn't smell nice is a strong indication of wrong approach. She might be younger than your younger sister, she has her self worth. So, she didn't reacted to what you said. She reacted to how you said it. Every other person whose ego is punctured would do the same or even act worst.

Not talking to her again is not the right to do. You need to apologise to her and make her realise you mean no offense. Trust, me she will like and respect you forever.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Iamthoney(m): 8:55pm On Sep 21, 2022
She will come for your head grin
Richy4:
i told her point blank she doesn't smell nice..

If you have heard the word euphemism and the wonders that it does, u won't be confused or asking if you have done something wrong...

If everyone in the world should open their mouth w-a-a-a-a-a and say certain things, don't you think that there will be chaos around the globe? smiley
She feels her approach wasn’t wrong yet she opened a thread to that effect cheesy
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by endsarrrs(f): 8:56pm On Sep 21, 2022
goodamerican:
Lmao. And you think I like you? Bwahahaha. *Laughs in Spanish*

You don't need to project your insecurities onto me, wretched one. It's you and your entire family that dark energy surrounds. You're obviously a lost cause to have turned what should be an easy-going thread into an angry one, exuding anger at a teenager and at an unknown person over the internet. Have a thousand seats and calm down, then go for deliverance to free yourself from the spirit of anger and the host of other spirits that's undoubtedly dealing with your lame ass.

Me and mines are protected and covered by the blood of Jesus.

Typical olodo, when you can't argue intelligently, you attack the other's intelligence. You're obviously a narcissist in female form and have deep-rooted issues you need to sort out. Whether you think I'm intelligent or not isn't my cup of tea, as in what's my business with that? My American and Canadian citizenship speak for themselves. My work and money speak for themselves, boo. As I've kindly suggested above, please go for deliverance; you're in dire need of it.
You turned her into the way she reacted with your vain words. You can not expect her not to defend her intentions

You suck!!

cc: Ride on Ginaz
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Zonefree(m): 8:56pm On Sep 21, 2022
backnbeta:
You did your best. Believe me, there's no subtle way to tell an outsider -especially a lady- that she has body odor because it's a very sensitive topic. If you buy the suggested gift set, she may still feel insulted. However, I think you should still be the bigger person by asking her why she's ignoring you and use that opportunity to apologize if she felt offended; let her know you meant well for her... you live in the same area and you will run into each other often.
There's no need to talk to that girl again as she's planning to insult her. The best is to avoid her and her stinking body.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Ginaz(op): 8:57pm On Sep 21, 2022
I'm shocked people are saying "buy gifts and get her roll-on".

shouldn't a conversation be the first thing to do? are we expected to buy "gifts" to people before we could tell them the truth?

i used to stand very badly with bent legs. my cousin told me yrs ago i had bad posture and since then I've corrected it. whenever i stand, i make sure to stand straight. (nobody got me gifts)

and i was so shy to tell her ehnn.. it took me courage to do so since i didn't want her to feel bad. she had been coming to my house 4months now. it is very difficult to approach someone to tell them they have bad hygiene.

it's not something i enjoyed doing. grin i won't next time. mehnnn.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Monaboo(m):
This issue is a sensitive issue so it depends on how you tell them.

And personally myself, I HATE SMELL right from when I was a child. I started taking care of my looks right from my primary school sef that my mum used to get tired of me.

I won NEATEST PUPIL OF THE WEEK FROM PRY 2 TO PRY 6. I was 7yrs old in Pry 2. And my body care has continued till date.

Now to handle such issue is a delicate one especially if it's an adult.

I have also talked to people who have body odour but there is a way I say it and they never feel bad.

I start with talking about random stuff, then when I see how comfortable they are, I bring up HYGIENE TALK.

I start talking about how to bath. I talk about scrubbing parts of the body. You would be surprised that alot of people especially MEN dont know how to bath. Then you talk about shaving hairs in delicate areas which absorbs sweat.

This is the foundation of body care.

Before u think about using roll on, body spray or perfume.

If u don't fulfill the foundation, u will just be covering up bad body odour with perfume or body spray. Imagine body odour mixed with perfume.

Also, if your body odour is chronic, I always recommend LIME. Buy Lime and use it to wash your delicate parts. You will NEVER Smell.

Body Care is essential and can not be over emphasized.

What are the Steps:
1) Shave all hairs in delicate areas. They harbour sweat carrying bacteria which sticks to your hairs and causes you to Smell
2) Buy a strong sponge and scrub your body when bathing. Morning and Night. Don't use towel to clean your body and say you are scrubbing. You are not a baby.
I tried to talk to a guy cause he smells which I noticed and he later confessed to me that he doesn't scrub his body.
3) Apply your body spray or perfume. Personally, I rob my perfumes on my skin not my clothes. They stay longer on skin.
That's all.

If you have chronic body odour, after step 1 and before you begin step 2, get LIME and use it before sponge bathing. It should be part of your bathing kit.

4) Your Underwears too. Look into it. Very important. Some of you can wear your underwears for a week or two. Remove that underwear and smell it.

I have tried for you.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by MrBrownJay1(m): 8:58pm On Sep 21, 2022
Ginaz:
A teen in my compound has a problem with body odor. several times she come to my house left the air smelling so stale and rotten, i noticed her younger sister had same issue too.

i couldn't take it anymore, it was so bad and i was afraid she might be mocked in the future if nothing is done to combat it.

i asked her if she ever heard about roll-on or antiperspirant, she replied NO! shocked and this is someone using an iphone and changes clothing periodically. shocked

i gave her my antiperspirant and taught her the need to use it daily as most of the odor comes from her armpit. i told her point blank she doesn't smell nice, her face changed somehow as if i insulted her and she left.

i saw her today and she walked passed me while i was trying to talk to her.

did i do wrong ? children of these days.
there is a way to address such issue of body/mouth odour, and you cant just say it like that, as most would be offended and feel insulted.
also remember there is a big different between anti perspirant and deodorants. some people dont sweat and still have body odour and vice versa.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by obynokoko: 8:58pm On Sep 21, 2022
Ginaz:
with the attitude she gave me just now. I dont want her to be closed to me. i don't need insults from a girl my younger sister is older than.
Better stay away from her to avoid insult
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by kingxsamz(m): 8:59pm On Sep 21, 2022
Ginaz:
A teen in my compound has a problem with body odor. several times she come to my house left the air smelling so stale and rotten, i noticed her younger sister had same issue too.

i couldn't take it anymore, it was so bad and i was afraid she might be mocked in the future if nothing is done to combat it.

i asked her if she ever heard about roll-on or antiperspirant, she replied NO! shocked and this is someone using an iphone and changes clothing periodically. shocked

i gave her my antiperspirant and taught her the need to use it daily as most of the odor comes from her armpit. i told her point blank she doesn't smell nice, her face changed somehow as if i insulted her and she left.

i saw her today and she walked passed me while i was trying to talk to her.

did i do wrong ? children of these days.
The gesture was right as it shows you really care, but how on earth did you think she'd feel after telling her she smells? Make she dey follow you shine teeth?
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Mike008(m): 9:00pm On Sep 21, 2022
You did well. But from a professional point of views there are more subtle ways to not have rocked her confidence.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by jojothaiv(m): 9:00pm On Sep 21, 2022
robinso01:
Truth no dey bitter, na person wey dem tell dey feel bitter.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by diggindeep: 9:01pm On Sep 21, 2022
Ginaz:
A teen in my compound has a problem with body odor. several times she come to my house left the air smelling so stale and rotten, i noticed her younger sister had same issue too.

i couldn't take it anymore, it was so bad and i was afraid she might be mocked in the future if nothing is done to combat it.

i asked her if she ever heard about roll-on or antiperspirant, she replied NO! shocked and this is someone using an iphone and changes clothing periodically. shocked

i gave her my antiperspirant and taught her the need to use it daily as most of the odor comes from her armpit. i told her point blank she doesn't smell nice, her face changed somehow as if i insulted her and she left.

i saw her today and she walked passed me while i was trying to talk to her.

did i do wrong ? children of these days.
You have done well
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by lookingfly: 9:01pm On Sep 21, 2022
Ginaz:
A teen in my compound has a problem with body odor. several times she come to my house left the air smelling so stale and rotten, i noticed her younger sister had same issue too.

i couldn't take it anymore, it was so bad and i was afraid she might be mocked in the future if nothing is done to combat it.

i asked her if she ever heard about roll-on or antiperspirant, she replied NO! shocked and this is someone using an iphone and changes clothing periodically. shocked

i gave her my antiperspirant and taught her the need to use it daily as most of the odor comes from her armpit. i told her point blank she doesn't smell nice, her face changed somehow as if i insulted her and she left.

i saw her today and she walked passed me while i was trying to talk to her.

did i do wrong ? children of these days.
oga, you should have just simply bought her roll-on as a gift and tell her you like to always perceive the saint on her.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by ukaface(f): 9:02pm On Sep 21, 2022
Ginaz:
A teen in my compound has a problem with body odor. several times she come to my house left the air smelling so stale and rotten, i noticed her younger sister had same issue too.

i couldn't take it anymore, it was so bad and i was afraid she might be mocked in the future if nothing is done to combat it.

i asked her if she ever heard about roll-on or antiperspirant, she replied NO! shocked and this is someone using an iphone and changes clothing periodically. shocked

i gave her my antiperspirant and taught her the need to use it daily as most of the odor comes from her armpit. i told her point blank she doesn't smell nice, her face changed somehow as if i insulted her and she left.

i saw her today and she walked passed me while i was trying to talk to her.

did i do wrong ? children of these days.
leave am
You don do your own
Na outside people go teach her lesson
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by dettolgel: 9:02pm On Sep 21, 2022
Ginaz:
with the attitude she gave me just now. I dont want her to be closed to me. i don't need insults from a girl my younger sister is older than.
Nigerians always feeling insulted and superior to people younger than them.

She is clearly a young person whose reasoning hasnt been fully formed. You should be more compassionate towards her.

If you can afford it buy her nice soap and roll on. Call her and show her maturity. Apologies to her that you didn't tell her that to embarrass her but you felt she needed to know and that you are sorry if it cuts across like you were insulting her. Yes, adult apologized to someone younger is teaching the person that it is okay for them to also apologise to people younger than them if need be.

The way you approach and resolve this issue with this young girl might be a pivot point in her life.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Str8talk21: 9:04pm On Sep 21, 2022
Young lady, be careful on what type of advice you are seeking for here, because I can see that there are lots of retards on dis platform who have little or nothing in their pea-sized brain.

First of all, I want to believe you have parents close by, and if yes, you could have seek for advice first from them. If not, did you try to do research on your own before telling her she needs to be using deodorant?

On method of delivery of the advice, for me it's rather inappropriate,too blunt and rash. A subtle and kind method would have been better so that you don't hurt her spirit. Just, like you said, she's far junior to you, but unfortunately you didn't take her as your little sister. The way you drop those words to her is what killed her spirit.

Now, causes of any human being having an unusual body odor varies.
It could be after birth, not being well cleaned immediately after birth.
It could be as a result of low level hygiene, high metabolism rate, sweaty skin glands, not having bath immediately after sweating profusely, etc

As remedy, meet her and try to talk to her and apologize to her on the way your advice/message/observation was conveyed to her.

Then in the actual remedy, advice her to start bathing with this black soap, they called "DUDU OSUN" it is green/sky blue in packaging, but soap is black, though expensive, but hey... nothing is too much for a remedy here.
Let her try it for 3months with proper hygiene and let's see the result.
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Raezzy: 9:04pm On Sep 21, 2022
Me ah wee tell dem to stop coming to my house oo.... period grin
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Shokoloko(f): 9:04pm On Sep 21, 2022
Ginaz:
A teen in my compound has a problem with body odor. several times she come to my house left the air smelling so stale and rotten, i noticed her younger sister had same issue too.

i couldn't take it anymore, it was so bad and i was afraid she might be mocked in the future if nothing is done to combat it.

i asked her if she ever heard about roll-on or antiperspirant, she replied NO! shocked and this is someone using an iphone and changes clothing periodically. shocked

i gave her my antiperspirant and taught her the need to use it daily as most of the odor comes from her armpit. i told her point blank she doesn't smell nice, her face changed somehow as if i insulted her and she left.

i saw her today and she walked passed me while i was trying to talk to her.

did i do wrong ? children of these days.
She is not angry. She is embarrassed. Embarrassed people like to stay away from others. Give her time.

Do not be in a hurry to tell people things POINT BLANK. Bend the curve a little. Point blank hurts
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by TheNiceGuy(m): 9:04pm On Sep 21, 2022
Using Eva soap has nothing to do with body odour please.

Some of us use it and we smell nice
HRHQueenPhil:
U did nothing wrong, someone needs to tell her the truth...I use to smell like a rotten fish too till d day I was insulted inside bus.. pls if u are still using Eva soap, stop it immediately..buy her gifts of good soap, perfume and anti persperant
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Enimin:
Ginaz:
A teen in my compound has a problem with body odor. several times she come to my house left the air smelling so stale and rotten, i noticed her younger sister had same issue too.

i couldn't take it anymore, it was so bad and i was afraid she might be mocked in the future if nothing is done to combat it.

i asked her if she ever heard about roll-on or antiperspirant, she replied NO! shocked and this is someone using an iphone and changes clothing periodically. shocked

i gave her my antiperspirant and taught her the need to use it daily as most of the odor comes from her armpit. i told her point blank she doesn't smell nice, her face changed somehow as if i insulted her and she left.

i saw her today and she walked passed me while i was trying to talk to her.

did i do wrong ? children of these days.
She's just being a typical Nigerian, repaying good with evil since 1960

Now you know you shouldn't have told her you should have let her strut around stinking like a truckful of pigs...so at least you learned something...
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Idoko619(m): 9:05pm On Sep 21, 2022
HRHQueenPhil:
U did nothing wrong, someone needs to tell her the truth...I use to smell like a rotten fish too till d day I was insulted inside bus.. pls if u are still using Eva soap, stop it immediately..buy her gifts of good soap, perfume and anti persperant
Elaborate on the Eva soap abeg.
That's my favorite soap o...
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by NwaIgboBoy(m): 9:05pm On Sep 21, 2022
Nigeria as a nation has body odour, not to talk of people wey leave inside .
Re: Should I Have Minded My Business? Did I Do Wrong? by Ginaz(op): 9:06pm On Sep 21, 2022
dettolgel:
Nigerians always feeling insulted and superior to people younger than them.

She is clearly a young person whose reasoning hasnt been fully formed. You should be more compassionate towards her.

If you can afford it buy her nice soap and roll on. Call her and show her maturity. Apologies to her that you didn't tell her that to embarrass her but you felt she needed to know and that you are sorry if it cuts across like you were insulting her. Yes, adult apologized to someone younger is teaching the person that it is okay for them to also apologise to people younger than them if need be.

The way you approach and resolve this issue with this young girl might be a pivot point in her life.
honestly speaking... I'm not getting her nothing. i gifted her antiperspirant , she can buy herself. i don't want to do anything which might worsen it all. wink
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