ozo13:
u should have stop at just teaching her how to make use of the roll-on without telling her she smells bad.when I have visitors that smells bad.i usually dash them perfume if I have one at that moment.the smart ones among them will know the meaning.people dont like to be body shame.
Some use expensive iphone but the pant they use u will want to vomit.

lolz. i get your point, things like these ain't easy to say most times. you just gat to use indirect ways to make a point least you are accused of breaking self esteem which wasn't your intention.

Ginaz:


nope! i won't. whatever help she would get won't be from me. i would stick to minding my business, I'm afriad I'm not much of a public speaker.

You know yourself better and you understand the situation more than us.

I agree that doing what is right and best for you is a wise choice as long as it does not harm anyone or against the law.

Ginaz:


lolz. i get your point, things like these ain't easy to say most times. you just gat to use indirect ways to make a point least you are accused of breaking self esteem which wasn't your intention.

there is someone I need to advise abt the type of pant but for like 4/5months now .I don't know how to say it for her not to be angry with me.is there anyway u can advise please

dettolgel:


You know yourself better and you understand the situation more than us.

I agree that doing what is right and best for you is a wise choice as long as it does not harm anyone or against the law.

why would i want to continue the discussion with her when it's obvious i may have over stepped my boundary.

I'm a very expressive individual. one who wanna make people understand deeply whatever I'm saying. how would she understand the severity of her odor if i shy away from telling her point black she smells?

when a person is severally sick , would the doctor shy away from telling the patient the severity of the sickness all cos the patient esteem is in danger? won't it be for the good of the patient to know how deep the sickness so he could tackle it and stop it from getting worst?

but what do i know though! no wonder people rather mind their business.

HRHQueenPhil:


U did nothing wrong, someone needs to tell her the truth...I use to smell like a rotten fish too till d day I was insulted inside bus.. pls if u are still using Eva soap, stop it immediately..buy her gifts of good soap, perfume and anti persperant

Eva soap makes someone smell like rotten fish?

ozo13:
there is someone I need to advise abt the type of pant but for like 4/5months now .I don't know how to say it for her not to be angry with me.is there anyway u can advise please

my dear I'm at loss. maybe you should buy her flowers and new pants, play cool music and write poetry to save her "self esteem".

or you tell her point blank with all sincerity and goodwill only to be called a demon, arrogant and wicked being.

I noticed you’re a lady too. Anyway you’ve done her a pending favor . She will thank you when the time comes . Kuddos to you babe

HRHQueenPhil:


U did nothing wrong, someone needs to tell her the truth...I use to smell like a rotten fish too till d day I was insulted inside bus.. pls if u are still using Eva soap, stop it immediately..buy her gifts of good soap, perfume and anti persperant

Watin do Eva soap

You did nothing wrong, there is no reason way you would have said it to make her feel good.. it's now hers to do what she wants with such info.She might just be shy to face you that's why she is acting that way.hope u adviced her to also try to wash her clothes properly and undies too. Some ladies can actually wear 1 bra a year without washing.

Itzurboi:
Hahaha, Why this ur talk dey sound like african proverb.

Because it is indeed African proverb

Roll on would suppress the smell to an extent, when u see her just tell her to get a lemon or lime, and apply it for 3-5days on her armpit for 15mins; then she takes her bath, the foul smell would varnish even without her using roll-on. Since u have started the process don't give up on her. Thanks

Ginaz:


aunty.. let's forget the issue. hopefully someone would help her more than I've done. they will buy her roses , sing celine Dion and buy her all the gifts in the world. cheers!

Please stop bothering yourself explaining so much cos I didn't see anything wrong in your actions, someone somewhere would still have told her the bitter truth maybe in a more insulting way so the earlier she learn to deal with it however it's said the better for her. You may seem like her enemy now just because you told the truth that even her friends may have been discussing behind her, but soon she will realize what it means for someone to walk up to you and tell you that bitter truth that others have been avoiding to say to your face yet make jest of you at the back.

You are brave. I don’t know how to tell someone they have body odour.

One babe I liked had serious mouth odour. Omo, that was the main reason I stopped chyking her. She hates me now.

Nice shape, nice skin, fine babe but mouth odour. I couldn’t continue kissing her. E choke.

ozo13:
u should have stop at just teaching her how to make use of the roll-on without telling her she smells bad.when I have visitors that smells bad.i usually dash them perfume if I have one at that moment.the smart ones among them will know the meaning.people dont like to be body shame.
Some use expensive iphone but the pant they use u will want to vomit.

Honestly there's no point romancing the truth, fact is one who is wise is wise and the foolish will still display their stupidity no matter how you handle that truth. Even at just dashing them roll ons and perfumes without saying why, the foolish ones will decode your intentions and take offense in it or feel insulted. So to me she handled this the best way anyone can, sure we can't always please everyone

I've seen a number of girls that smell so bad. And some of them are married oo. Is it natural or due to uncleaniness?

You did nothing wrong. Never be afraid to cut off idiots who detest hearing the truth.
You did not only tell her what the problem is, you offered help by giving her your roll on.
Unfortunately, she has a bigger problem than body odor, and that is pride and a bad attitude.

Well, you have done nothing wrong! She will understand it better by and by. I think my wife has a similar issue, she got an apprentice: anytime she comes everybody in the shop feels very uncomfortable due to the odours (body and mouth). My wife started complaining bitterly, she came to me for a piece of advise. I told her you have to be diplomatic about it and make sure you don't discuss it while every other apprentice is around. She waited for a good time, but there was none. Fortunately; the girl(apprentice) was having her birthday very close. Wifey told me about one of her apprentices' birthday and she mentioned her; I quickly advised her to get some gifts-Roll-on and body spray and also make sure she gifts her these gifts while no others were there. As a matter of fact, all things went to plan-for about one and a half month the atm was encouraging. But the unfortunate thing is that after the one and a half month-guess the stuff's finished, the odour resumed work. Wifey came to me to complain again. I told her point blank, "call her and tell her she smells and she needs to take care of herself," period!!

Ginaz:
A teen in my compound has a problem with body odor. several times she come to my house left the air smelling so stale and rotten, i noticed her younger sister had same issue too.

i couldn't take it anymore, it was so bad and i was afraid she might be mocked in the future if nothing is done to combat it.

i asked her if she ever heard about roll-on or antiperspirant, she replied NO! and this is someone using an iphone and changes clothing periodically.

i gave her my antiperspirant and taught her the need to use it daily as most of the odor comes from her armpit. i told her point blank she doesn't smell nice, her face changed somehow as if i insulted her and she left.

i saw her today and she walked passed me while i was trying to talk to her.

did i do wrong ? children of these days.

Most teens have body odor...a combination of new hormones and poor hygiene.
You did the right thing telling her and she did the right thing to not greet you again...
After court case no more friendship.

Let her be pls!

You did nothing wrong Haba, don't they know when they stink?

Too many unladylike ladies around

During my puberty age ,I didn't know how to take care of my armpit , I didn't smell nice at all, I knew I was smelling bad but had no idea what to do, my parents were too busy and all they tell us is wash your armpit, that doesn't solve the smell, as a matter of fact I spend all the soap and water in the bathroom washing just the armpit . Sometimes I would sit down and cry. I gradually withdrew from people and became so timid . Each time I remember my childhood it makes me hate my parents, parents should do more to care for their children abeg. This ungrateful lass doesn't even know what you are doing for her . In my case on faithful day we had a female visitor and I noticed she was always rubbing and spraying something in her under arm, that was how I wrote the name and used all my saving to buy my first deodorant . And the journey of smelly puberty ended

NemoDatQuod:
You may not have done something wrong. But there are ways of communicating that will be welcoming especially with such challenging themes such as cleanliness. If your younger self were told the same thing you told that teen and in the same way you told her, your younger self will also be upset.

Truth is never bitter. It is how it is told that may lead to it being bitter or it being very sweet and welcoming.

I hope your conversation with her was one on one and in private. If you had told her that the conversation you were about to have is delicate and may result in her being upset, but that you prefer that she be upset with you than you not ell her, it may have led to a different outcome. If you had also assured her that everyone who does not take care of their armpit will smell and that you used to smell until you learned to take care of your armpit, she would have been more receptive. If you had assured her that the conversation is also private and between you two, she would have been more receptive.

I work in an environment where I have to give feedback regularly to those who work with me and some of the conversations involve some of the most difficult topics/themes one can ever discuss with anyone. I have to spend time thinking through the theme and I usually start by putting myself in the recipient's shoes and review different scenario's of how the individual may feel or react based on his or her background.

My aim is to make them better workers, not to antagonise them and make them leave the firm, because it is cheaper to maintain the employee you have than to go through the process of hiring new ones and training them.

If I were in your position, I will call her to a meeting and humbly explain where you were coming from and apologise for any slight she may feel. You seem to be a good person. Don't let her be on her own as it appears she will need the help and guidance of kind others to navigate through teenage life.

GREAT COMMENT. TWO THUMBS UP.

Cutehector:
The female gender will always have issues in taking corrections. Their stubbornness will lead them to error.


These days i am even tired in dealing with ladies. You can hardly meet just one woman who would accept corrections. Hardly.


Even that op that is making noise up there, if someone corrects her, i am sure she will still carry face for the person.

lol! So true.

Ginaz, don't forget this, I hope this suggestion helps....

williaam:
Roll on would suppress the smell to an extent, when u see her just tell her to get a lemon or lime, and apply it for 3-5days on her armpit for 15mins; then she takes her bath, the foul smell would varnish even without her using roll-on. Since u have started the process don't give up on her. Thanks

Instead of her to be thanking you. Anyways, she still has childish mindset. Just look past her and move on. Someone would use it to insult her one day.

Ginaz:
A teen in my compound has a problem with body odor. several times she come to my house left the air smelling so stale and rotten, i noticed her younger sister had same issue too.

i couldn't take it anymore, it was so bad and i was afraid she might be mocked in the future if nothing is done to combat it.

i asked her if she ever heard about roll-on or antiperspirant, she replied NO! and this is someone using an iphone and changes clothing periodically.

i gave her my antiperspirant and taught her the need to use it daily as most of the odor comes from her armpit. i told her point blank she doesn't smell nice, her face changed somehow as if i insulted her and she left.

i saw her today and she walked passed me while i was trying to talk to her.

did i do wrong ? children of these days.

Mind your biz next time Aunty. You bruised her ego

HRHQueenPhil:


U did nothing wrong, someone needs to tell her the truth...I use to smell like a rotten fish too till d day I was insulted inside bus.. pls if u are still using Eva soap, stop it immediately..buy her gifts of good soap, perfume and anti persperant

I love the foreign purple Eva soap, what's your issue with the brand?

Ginaz:


whatever i say would feel as if I'm defending myself and i don't want to repeat same narrative.

hopefully someone else would tell her in the polite way you felt i didn't in the future.

I live abroad and I know how they have learnt to be polite and mild in the way they say even very unpleasant news. This is one reason why many Nigerians enter into trouble abroad. Because they have not learnt to be polite and mild in speech.

Ginaz:
A teen in my compound has a problem with body odor. several times she come to my house left the air smelling so stale and rotten, i noticed her younger sister had same issue too.

i couldn't take it anymore, it was so bad and i was afraid she might be mocked in the future if nothing is done to combat it.

i asked her if she ever heard about roll-on or antiperspirant, she replied NO! and this is someone using an iphone and changes clothing periodically.

i gave her my antiperspirant and taught her the need to use it daily as most of the odor comes from her armpit. i told her point blank she doesn't smell nice, her face changed somehow as if i insulted her and she left.

i saw her today and she walked passed me while i was trying to talk to her.

did i do wrong ? children of these days.

And that's just the armpit oo
Imagine how the puna will smell ��

Ginaz:
I'm shocked people are saying "buy gifts and get her roll-on".

shouldn't a conversation be the first thing to do? are we expected to buy "gifts" to people before we could tell them the truth?

i used to stand very badly with bent legs. my cousin told me yrs ago i had bad posture and since then I've corrected it. whenever i stand, i make sure to stand straight. (nobody got me gifts)

and i was so shy to tell her ehnn.. it took me courage to do so since i didn't want her to feel bad. she had been coming to my house 4months now. it is very difficult to approach someone to tell them they have bad hygiene.

it's not something i enjoyed doing. i won't next time. mehnnn.

You did great darling, don't mind her present attitude she will definitely follow your kind advice, just watch her.

Ginaz:
with the attitude she gave me just now. I dont want her to be closed to me. i don't need insults from a girl my younger sister is older than.

@Op you did well.
Those teenagers could be forming sometimes, just ignore her attitude and behave normal towards her she'll come around. She might just not appreciate the way you put it, thinking you embarrassed her.

It's very good you called her attention to the armpit smell. We ought to be doing that especially if we notice such, could be very disgusting. Quite a lot of them don't know about roll-on.

Could remember one as well.
I didn't go straight......first asked her which type of perf or body spray she uses, she said none.....
Again asked which type of roll-on she's using, said none.
So I came in from there and she was happy.

Think the way we pass the message across matters too.

Ginaz:
A teen in my compound has a problem with body odor. several times she come to my house left the air smelling so stale and rotten, i noticed her younger sister had same issue too.

i couldn't take it anymore, it was so bad and i was afraid she might be mocked in the future if nothing is done to combat it.

i asked her if she ever heard about roll-on or antiperspirant, she replied NO! and this is someone using an iphone and changes clothing periodically.

i gave her my antiperspirant and taught her the need to use it daily as most of the odor comes from her armpit. i told her point blank she doesn't smell nice, her face changed somehow as if i insulted her and she left.

i saw her today and she walked passed me while i was trying to talk to her.

did i do wrong ? children of these days.

Thank you for saving her from herself

This gender are the most difficult people to deal with, you become too friendly with them, with time they will start disrespecting u, u are so strict, they call u a bad person, u correct them and they tag it as insult. I wonder how men who live with them for so many years cope. Already correction on poor hygiene that is affecting her and glaring to the eye, she is angry for being corrected.