₦airaland Forum

udomma1005:
This dude is not a rich fella, just a wannabe. Any person who's actually rich doesn't rub it on people's faces just like that. What's your definition of riches and what level have you attained that makes you so confident to throw tantrums of being rich. Most commentators on Nairaland ferry privates or business class on a daily or two but none sews agbada with the inscription "Richie" to make a point here. The topic you brought up wasn't to seek advice but to advertise your "Richie" brand. If ur fable isn't a fable, the poor girl will suffer with a dictator like you've portrayed yourself.
No hard feelings, just my two kobo

Poor, broke bastard.
Go and make your own money and worry less about how anyone chooses to display their affluence.
No be you or your stupid papa make the money for them.
Animal.

placeofallure:
I pity you if that's exactly your thoughts. You'll let some trolls who had no control over their own life mislead you in life.

First and foremost, women do lower their standards for men if they're in love. Get that belief off of your head that they don't.

Secondly, to ba ri se, ma pe paddy e l'ole. What standard are you talking about? You sound like some pompous, overbearing slave master. Do you know where she's coming from? It's either you like her enough to share or you don't. You already even anticipate her family will be leeches and needy. Some people are poor but they keep their dignity intact.

I won't tell you to marry her, Lord of Standards, if she doesn't merit your aggrandized benchmark or calibre. Just let her know on time so she doesn't invest her priceless emotions where it'll never yield returns.

Good luck to you.

Rantings of a frustrated prostitute.
The man has every right to set and stick to his standards.
If e pain you, go hug transformer.

kacglobal:
Never lower your standards for any lady. Remember she will not lower hers for you. If tables were turned. She would rather trash you.

Ladies are always loyal to their true emotions. And they will never do anything not beneficial to them. Hence the selfish attitude.

You yourself knows exactly why she's interested in you. Remove all those benefits that comes with you. She won't want to be around any longer.

Exactly.

Owen247:
U said shes a good lady right, and here u are emotionally abusing her because of what? nce cert and co.

if she was the one telling you dat ur not her standard what would u say or do? Dont be emotionless and be doin to people what u cant endure.

maybe she presented herself wit ful innocens to u dats why u dnt value her. Pls leave her so dat sm one dat wil value her wil meet her.

last last since u cant compromise, f your standards.

We know you are a lonely, sex starved, desperate motherfucker.

But not everybody is.

He has his standards and is right to stick to it.

F you nigga. Its not anybody's fault that you do not have standards.
Hug transformer.

jeromestarks:
Disvirgin her sharp sharp and see how you will come to like her standard.
Oga, go and marry that girl and take good care of her. She deserves it.

No matter the attitude she put up later in your marriage, never let her go. I repeat, NEVER LET HER GO!
Love her, teach her with love, care for her, defend her and cherish her.


As for the siblings, you didn't marry them so don't kill yourself over their matter. Do what you can do for them and leave what you can't do.


Best of luck son.

ode

NEVER LOWER YOUR STANDARD FOR ANY WOMAN
But you can keep dating her till you meet the real LOYL and then dump her because this woman will do the same thing to you if they found a better option than you without any form of regret. Never date or marry someone that will become a liability to you. It is that simple.

For the part where you said she is a virgin. All I have to say is LOL!!!!! Don't fall for that scam

BABANGBALI:
both of them are correct. One is British English, while the other one is American English, I chose to use the American English.

You wrote "post rumours"

The sum of all marriage is compromise. From the beginning of it to the end of it, you must compromise, withdraw or let go of some of your standards. The issue is if what you are forgoing is fundamental to the existence of the marriage itself - like genotype, religion, upbringing or temperament. There are other fundamental issues tho.

In your case,
1. That she comes from a poor home may not be an issue. Almost every person who is rich today wasn't born with a silver spoon. What can compensate for it is whether the girl thinks profitably, not being poor and comfortable with poverty. Is she good with making money? Can she survive with you? Has she suffered poverty enough to hate it with all she's got? If she is a hustler, go fo her, the rich kids may even discourage your enterprise because she has a backup.

2. Education. My brother, these days I don't rate education that much because it sometimes make people dull and regimented especially those who carry certificate on their head like it's the sum of their being. Most uneducated women are doing well in other ventures. Does she look like someone who can make money unofficially? Salary isn't also the glory now like it used to be. Infact when you start giving birth with her, you will appreciate an unofficial business woman to a corporate wife.

3. Poor background. Read again what I said earlier. You fear her siblings will depend on you. It's a normal apprehension. But you can draw lines starting from now on how you want your marriage to be. Mind you, your in-laws are family and you can't run away from them. But you can draw boundaries they won't cross, as long as you carry your wife along on this. To even shock you, the rich homes have the most burdensome inlaws. They will camp at your home providing food for your but controlling your affairs. The poor ones will thank you for removing one extra load and will leave you so as not to be an extra burden. I am speaking from personal experience here

Beauty. This may be a fundamental issue depending on how you see it. What I mean is if you put a high price on beauty that on intellect and "bedroom beauty". Yes, there is bedroom beauty and their is social beauty. You see a man glorify his wife so much but the woman is not attractive to you outside. When she undresses, is she beautiful? Some people get beautiful as they age. Height can be compensated with yours, in your kids. But if her beauty will be a problem to you in future, in thinking you made a mistake, that is a serious issue.

if she doesn't meet your standard boot her out. she would do the same to you without hesitation

You never know where dey pain you Sha.... U want graduate and your English no dey polished..... Na werin dey wrong with most men be this.... You want something from someone that you don't have..... A real man goes for a lady he loves... As u dey create standards, e be like e go reach 50 before you marry one mgbeke at the end of the day wen you don dey reach womanopause

generalwo:
You never know where dey pain you Sha.... U want graduate and your English no dey polished..... Na werin dey wrong with most men be this.... You want something from someone that you don't have..... A real man goes for a lady he loves... As u dey create standards, e be like e go reach 50 before you marry one mgbeke at the end of the day wen you don dey reach womanopause

yehn yehn yehn yehn. A real man goes for the one he loves. -did you read love in anything op wrote?? You are what is wrong with men. With women believing they can do whatever they want to us ,if the guy wasn't well off the lady would not even give a hoot about him but oh just cause she showed interest (despite his warning) you in your infinite stupidity thinks he should drop all his standards and settle for her. SIMP!

Ebenman:
I meant a lady 3 months ago. After we talked, she began to show interest in me, but she wasn't my standard, so I wasn't feeling the same way.

My standards are:
1. At least she must be a graduate
2. She should be self-sufficient (earning something reasonable)
3. At most 5-6 age difference between us
4. Looking calm and understandable
5. She must be an average-height lady

This lady, in particular, is an NCE holder, working as a teacher, earning little because of her level of education. She is just in her early 20s, and I am almost 8 yrs older than her. She is from a poor background and has 2 other younger siblings. She is also not tall and looks like an average girl.

She is very decent (a virgin) and loyal to me. I have told her severally that she is not my standard and I wasn't interested in her, but she refused to listen and began to feel very insecure. Maybe because I earn well and she knows I will soon get married.

She now comes to my house almost every weekend because I am very accommodating. Recently she has been telling me to delete the pictures of other females friends, in which I asked her on what grounds I should do that.

Note: I don't want to invest in a lady that is not my wife, and I am afraid her family will see me as a rich guy from which her other siblings can benefit if I proceed with her.

Should I block every contact with her, or should I forget about standards and risk and look at the good side?

Please advice

Block her, If the table is the other way round, she won't think twice to dump your sorry as.s.

NEVER marry out of pity cos if you do, you will not be faithful, caring and appreciative in the marriage

Wealthyonos:
Even your English shows you're not educated. My advice is, 'go back to school'.���

Wealthyonos:
Even your English shows you're not educated. My advice is, 'go back to school'.���

Booda Agbaya ���

Ebenman:
I meant a lady 3 months ago. After we talked, she began to show interest in me, but she wasn't my standard, so I wasn't feeling the same way.

My standards are:
1. At least she must be a graduate
2. She should be self-sufficient (earning something reasonable)
3. At most 5-6 age difference between us
4. Looking calm and understandable
5. She must be an average-height lady

This lady, in particular, is an NCE holder, working as a teacher, earning little because of her level of education. She is just in her early 20s, and I am almost 8 yrs older than her. She is from a poor background and has 2 other younger siblings. She is also not tall and looks like an average girl.

She is very decent (a virgin) and loyal to me. I have told her severally that she is not my standard and I wasn't interested in her, but she refused to listen and began to feel very insecure. Maybe because I earn well and she knows I will soon get married.

She now comes to my house almost every weekend because I am very accommodating. Recently she has been telling me to delete the pictures of other females friends, in which I asked her on what grounds I should do that.

Note: I don't want to invest in a lady that is not my wife, and I am afraid her family will see me as a rich guy from which her other siblings can benefit if I proceed with her.

Should I block every contact with her, or should I forget about standards and risk and look at the good side?

Please advice

My own is that it not always the men that do lower their standards for females , I have also seen a situation where women do lower their standards for men , but all the same nobody should force you into something that you will regret later . When you talk about love , love is not just for mere I love I love blablabla, it comes with growth ...Is your partner willing to grow in all aspects , because some people feel relaxed at their present situation wether a male or a female it could be either of the partner , and when you advise some people to level up they will see it as an insult , I have a friend she's a graduate she has this guy , the guy was telling her that she should register for ICAN & he's going to fund it , she told me that she's not interested , I was like is anything wrong with you , you see someone that wants to sponsor you & you are not happy about it , something that many people are looking for including my self , that's what I told her , love comes with growth , I love seeing people growing in every aspect of their lives and I also wish that for myself , I wish to level up from my present situation. I know that God will see me through someday .

kacglobal:
Baba stop this nonsense talk. Go n check well. Why did the fruit seller marry the man at first?
I'm sure she wasn't a fruit seller to begin with.
And am very certain that the jobless man wasn't jobless when they married.

N the only reason she doesn't leave is the kids.

N if u analyse deeply you would find out what the man has gone through in the hands of the woman for losing his source of living.

Then for him to now give up totally means the woman has over done something for him to just throw everything away n give up.

No respect anymore and more things. That follow suit after losing his source of lively hood.

So no lady ever in this world lower their standards for a man. Unless they are evening newspaper..

Go to the FP and stop your nonsense permutations.

He suddenly lost his livelihood, because it's impossible for men to never have had a livelihood. One-sided narrative always. There are many young women marrying jobless, useless men everyday. There are many men with useless standards, and many others who are gigolos and kpokogris of the world who leech on women.

It's only on this forum that there is the delusion that women are lazy and men do so much. After all, your sisters and mothers are all jobless and should have no standards.

Maybe we should talk about what women are going through in the hands of men, because men aren't the only ones going through anything.

cedricksly:
if I was a lady u will be the very last person I would date... Imagine the nonsense talk, I have also told her severally that she is not my standard blah blah blah... Nonsense talk... Na this ur rude nature and standard go make u finally get married to "regrets"

A lot of ladies really have low self esteem. They take all manner of nonsense and gibberish talk from men because they wanna get married.

Ebenman:
I meant a lady 3 months ago. After we talked, she began to show interest in me, but she wasn't my standard, so I wasn't feeling the same way.

My standards are:
1. At least she must be a graduate
2. She should be self-sufficient (earning something reasonable)
3. At most 5-6 age difference between us
4. Looking calm and understandable
5. She must be an average-height lady

This lady, in particular, is an NCE holder, working as a teacher, earning little because of her level of education. She is just in her early 20s, and I am almost 8 yrs older than her. She is from a poor background and has 2 other younger siblings. She is also not tall and looks like an average girl.

She is very decent (a virgin) and loyal to me. I have told her severally that she is not my standard and I wasn't interested in her, but she refused to listen and began to feel very insecure. Maybe because I earn well and she knows I will soon get married.

She now comes to my house almost every weekend because I am very accommodating. Recently she has been telling me to delete the pictures of other females friends, in which I asked her on what grounds I should do that.

Note: I don't want to invest in a lady that is not my wife, and I am afraid her family will see me as a rich guy from which her other siblings can benefit if I proceed with her.

Should I block every contact with her, or should I forget about standards and risk and look at the good side?

Please advice

Baba, don't lower your standards. Most women won't lower their standard for men, especially when it comes to financial standards. Never settle for less. You're the prize.

In everything you do with her, try not to shag her. If you've already done that, free her with immediate alacrity

Ebenman:
I meant a lady 3 months ago. After we talked, she began to show interest in me, but she wasn't my standard, so I wasn't feeling the same way.

My standards are:
1. At least she must be a graduate
2. She should be self-sufficient (earning something reasonable)
3. At most 5-6 age difference between us
4. Looking calm and understandable
5. She must be an average-height lady

This lady, in particular, is an NCE holder, working as a teacher, earning little because of her level of education. She is just in her early 20s, and I am almost 8 yrs older than her. She is from a poor background and has 2 other younger siblings. She is also not tall and looks like an average girl.

She is very decent (a virgin) and loyal to me. I have told her severally that she is not my standard and I wasn't interested in her, but she refused to listen and began to feel very insecure. Maybe because I earn well and she knows I will soon get married.

She now comes to my house almost every weekend because I am very accommodating. Recently she has been telling me to delete the pictures of other females friends, in which I asked her on what grounds I should do that.

Note: I don't want to invest in a lady that is not my wife, and I am afraid her family will see me as a rich guy from which her other siblings can benefit if I proceed with her.

Should I block every contact with her, or should I forget about standards and risk and look at the good side?

Please advice

since you have sent standard of yourself and you have meet you own, please don't change that for your woman, you can marry from your from class,your working place or class that bigger than your level, don't marry woman out of pity because when the marriage reality comes up you will regret it of Carry all your family and her family bundens alone,if you want to help her you can help her in other means either by setting business for her or help her to find better job with her qualifications but not with marriage, there are many good woman outside that meet your standards just look for one.

Oga! Take it easy, at least understood the write up.

Wealthyonos:
Even your English shows you're not educated. My advice is, 'go back to school'.���

Is she someone you can take out and be proud of her?

Ebenman:
We are both AA


Updated: I have received a lot of bashing.

I guess I didn't really explain the situation well, so a lot of people didn't really get my points.

This lady in particular mum is late. Her dad is battling with stroke.

I stay in a 3-bedroom flat as a bachelor in a high-income area while she, her dad, and 3 other siblings stay in a room and parlor in a low-income area. I fear that one day her family will tell her sis and bro to come and start staying with us if we end up together since they will feel we live in a 3-bedroom flat.

More so, her yearly income is always not up to my monthly income.

She is not the First Lady to show interest in me. I asked her why is she interested in me, and she said that I don't drink, smoke, gamble, or womanize. I am always focused.

In essence, I am also a standard.

She'll come and drag you down with her, it's obvious to you but you think you're earning enough, get someone who'll make your life easier not someone who'll toughen it up.
You're earning little incase you think you're earning big abi no be naija you dey. She'll measure your salary and match the expenses for you to level up.

obinna58:
She'll come and drag you down with her, it's obvious to you but you think you're earning enough, get someone who'll make your life easier not someone who'll toughen it up.
You're earning little incase you think you're earning big abi no be naija you dey. She'll measure your salary and match the expenses for you to level up.

This is precisely why I was talking about standard.

BRATISLAVA:
Go to the FP and stop your nonsense permutations.

He suddenly lost his livelihood, because it's impossible for men to never have had a livelihood. One-sided narrative always. There are many young women marrying jobless, useless men everyday. There are many men with useless standards, and many others who are gigolos and kpokogris of the world who leech on women.

It's only on this forum that there is the delusion that women are lazy and men do so much. After all, your sisters and mothers are all jobless and should have no standards.

Maybe we should talk about what women are going through in the hands of men, because men aren't the only ones going through anything.

At this point I leave u to yourself. Cus am still wondering why you had to put my sisters and mothers into this discussion.

Me I no dey follow ppl like you talk. Ppl that can't keep things clean without insults.

Ebenman:
I meant a lady 3 months ago. After we talked, she began to show interest in me, but she wasn't my standard, so I wasn't feeling the same way.

My standards are:
1. At least she must be a graduate
2. She should be self-sufficient (earning something reasonable)
3. At most 5-6 age difference between us
4. Looking calm and understandable
5. She must be an average-height lady

This lady, in particular, is an NCE holder, working as a teacher, earning little because of her level of education. She is just in her early 20s, and I am almost 8 yrs older than her. She is from a poor background and has 2 other younger siblings. She is also not tall and looks like an average girl.

She is very decent (a virgin) and loyal to me. I have told her severally that she is not my standard and I wasn't interested in her, but she refused to listen and began to feel very insecure. Maybe because I earn well and she knows I will soon get married.

She now comes to my house almost every weekend because I am very accommodating. Recently she has been telling me to delete the pictures of other females friends, in which I asked her on what grounds I should do that.

Note: I don't want to invest in a lady that is not my wife, and I am afraid her family will see me as a rich guy from which her other siblings can benefit if I proceed with her.

Should I block every contact with her, or should I forget about standards and risk and look at the good side?

Please advice

She will give you peace of mind, marry her.
No go marry olosho slay queen.

Kenmatt:
Yet you're typing trash

English itself is trash

waititi:
yehn yehn yehn yehn. A real man goes for the one he loves. -did you read love in anything op wrote?? You are what is wrong with men. With women believing they can do whatever they want to us ,if the guy wasn't well off the lady would not even give a hoot about him but oh just cause she showed interest (despite his warning) you in your infinite stupidity thinks he should drop all his standards and settle for her. SIMP!

.... Ogun kee your pa.... Fool..... If he feels his class is too high for the girl, then he should leave her for someone who appreciates her the way she is and will build her to a point where he wants her to be... Not coming here to seek validation from people as if na we wan join marry or date the girl... Na all these kind men go marry such women finish, dey taunt them for house because she no be Graduate....... Mugu...... If you feel your standard is too much for a particular person, you have 2 choices.... Build her to the standard you want or go for someone that's your standard..... It's as simple as that..... Sorry to say this again but ogun kee u and the op too

Ebenman:
I meant a lady 3 months ago. After we talked, she began to show interest in me, but she wasn't my standard, so I wasn't feeling the same way.

My standards are:
1. At least she must be a graduate
2. She should be self-sufficient (earning something reasonable)
3. At most 5-6 age difference between us
4. Looking calm and understandable
5. She must be an average-height lady

This lady, in particular, is an NCE holder, working as a teacher, earning little because of her level of education. She is just in her early 20s, and I am almost 8 yrs older than her. She is from a poor background and has 2 other younger siblings. She is also not tall and looks like an average girl.

She is very decent (a virgin) and loyal to me. I have told her severally that she is not my standard and I wasn't interested in her, but she refused to listen and began to feel very insecure. Maybe because I earn well and she knows I will soon get married.

She now comes to my house almost every weekend because I am very accommodating. Recently she has been telling me to delete the pictures of other females friends, in which I asked her on what grounds I should do that.

Note: I don't want to invest in a lady that is not my wife, and I am afraid her family will see me as a rich guy from which her other siblings can benefit if I proceed with her.

Should I block every contact with her, or should I forget about standards and risk and look at the good side?

Please advice

forget the people telling you not to Lower your standards lol. this is internet!

man I'd tell you the honest truth. a woman you built would likely last longer than a woman you met already built. built I mean here Is not really financially but in mentality etc.. mentality Is everything and at her age that's an advantage for you.

secondly here is the most important which seems your biggest headache..... observe If she's the hardworking type and not the entitled type/or the type that is already seeing you as a means to an end. there are 2 types of women, the ones broke in purse and mentality and the ones only broke in purse but not mentality. find this out! for the former my brother run for your life, for the latter exercise patience with caution

lastly, if you find out she's worth the risk. you can build her to your standards and enjoy her for life. many of us have an idea of how we want our partners to be like but it only ends with looks and in the current hard times their financial power. most times we don't consider the mentality and attitude. these are the things that will keep things going and stand the test of time but if you are very particular about looks and she doesn't have it, maybe you should move on so you don't end up disliking her at some point due to lack of attraction.

YOU'RE A MAN. THINK WELL AND MAKE YOUR DECISION. you can sample the internet yeah! cos the universe always has something to say but....the decision lies with what you see/deduce logically

Ebenman:
I guess I didn't really explain the situation well, so a lot of people didn't really get my points.

This lady in particular mum is late. Her dad is battling with stroke.

I stay in a 3-bedroom flat as a bachelor in a high-income area while she, her dad, and 3 other siblings stay in a room and parlor in a low-income area. I fear that one day her family will tell her sis and bro to come and start staying with us if we end up together since they will feel we live in a 3-bedroom flat.

More so, her yearly income is always not up to my monthly income.

She is not the First Lady to show interest in me. I asked her why is she interested in me, and she said that I don't drink, smoke, gamble, or womanize. I am always focused.
In essence, I am also a standard.

Ofcourse Bro! I can't challenge you because you want to use your head and not emotions or your third leg to get what you want.
The issue of one or two of her siblings coming over to stay after a while is almost a sure thing.
If you can nurture and assist one of the sibling that is more intelligent through school, polish your wife and respect yourself.
I bet, you will have a very happy home/life.
This life is give and take.
But if you feel she's not pretty enough, too short for you or any other things which might lead to you despising within two to five years of settling down, please don't go for it.
Note: this kind of relationship must be base on true love. If you don't love her that much don't start anything serious. Be clear about it with her.

emmeyen:
A lot of ladies really have low self esteem. They take all manner of nonsense and gibberish talk from men because they wanna get married.

I'm a guy and that is total rubbish... Any later that accepts this nonsense talk is really substandard as insinuated

Ebenman:
I meant a lady 3 months ago. After we talked, she began to show interest in me, but she wasn't my standard, so I wasn't feeling the same way.

My standards are:
1. At least she must be a graduate
2. She should be self-sufficient (earning something reasonable)
3. At most 5-6 age difference between us
4. Looking calm and understandable
5. She must be an average-height lady

This lady, in particular, is an NCE holder, working as a teacher, earning little because of her level of education. She is just in her early 20s, and I am almost 8 yrs older than her. She is from a poor background and has 2 other younger siblings. She is also not tall and looks like an average girl.

She is very decent (a virgin) and loyal to me. I have told her severally that she is not my standard and I wasn't interested in her, but she refused to listen and began to feel very insecure. Maybe because I earn well and she knows I will soon get married.

She now comes to my house almost every weekend because I am very accommodating. Recently she has been telling me to delete the pictures of other females friends, in which I asked her on what grounds I should do that.

Note: I don't want to invest in a lady that is not my wife, and I am afraid her family will see me as a rich guy from which her other siblings can benefit if I proceed with her.

Should I block every contact with her, or should I forget about standards and risk and look at the good side?

Please advice

Take note of the bolded.
If a lady is the only one being pro-relationship, then something fishy is going on.... Something ain't right....
@OP, use your tongue to count your teeth.

One girl I dated last year had all these features you highlighted, yet she was a damsel in distress!

As long as she does not beg you for money, I don't see the reason why she's not a good fit.

Infact, a school of thought believes; if your woman loves you more, she would go extra mile for you
How much more a virgin!

Sad part is ; many of these contemporary ladies have many many body counts. God be with you, if you meet one who still hold on a thing with her ex, you will bear the brunt of this.