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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. (4494 Views)
Marry A 32 Year Old Good Girl Or Look For A Younger Good Girl? / I Was A Good Girl But Why Did God Allow This To Happen To Me? / Baba De Baba: "I Can't Marry A Woman I Can't Beat" (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Saintinoo(m): 10:17am On Oct 22, 2022 |
phemmyfour: Talking about respect, i dont want to sound all good, but this lady will yell at me, belittle me, make it look asif she is doing me a favour. Imagine the lady you want to marry saying that she wish she can turn the hands of time. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Saintinoo(m): 10:19am On Oct 22, 2022 |
N3wman: Which state are you serving bro. |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Saintinoo(m): 10:25am On Oct 22, 2022 |
[quote author=Owopariola001 post=117774147] Is she attractive to you sexually? I mean, when you're at work, or away from home, do you fantasize about going back home quickly and having your woman in your arms? If YES, you can work on her negatives. Imagine she's your daughter, how will you work on her? If you can find the answer to this, then your problem is solved.[/quote ] Bro, how do i do this, this is a lady that believes she is always right, doesn't do any wrong and any problem in the relationship is the fault of the other person. |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Chnbanc: 10:34am On Oct 22, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:you said it all. Op needs some validations psychologically. |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by N3wman: 10:38am On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo:Kwara |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Richy4(m): 10:41am On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo: My brother, couples in a relationship fights every now and then. But the ability to make up is what counts.. As a bro, I have to tell you that when you are in a relationship, please throw the I'm not your mate talk through the window... It doesn't work for anyone... Mutual respect is what matters the most between couples... You shouldn't stop telling her on the need to apologize when you have checked and reasoned beyond reasonable doubt that she is at fault... If you don't see any improvements within 7months, and u can't stand it, bro end it... Both of you deserves to be happy... 5 Likes |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Connected1: 10:46am On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo:Talk to her about it. Make her understand that she should respect as you respect her, unless she wants you to change. I should also say that there's nothing good about a girl that doesn't respect you, forget all those qualities you mentioned, after the see finish stage of a relationship, if she doesn't respect you, dump her. I wonder what she even offers you, virginity blood can be gotten anywhere, same way as a caring girlfriend but respect mbannu, the only thing a woman can accord me for all I do for her is respect and appreciation. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Saintinoo(m): 10:59am On Oct 22, 2022 |
Richy4: Bro, i do not normally talk about age, but i had to considering that this lady doesnt talk to her 18 years old kid sister the way she yells at me. She completely disregard me, especially when she is angry, anytime she becomes angry, i receive the eorworst word and insult of my life, belitting, telling me that she regrets dating me, she wish she could turn the hands of time. This lady trys to control me, i dare not see her post online without saying a nice word, else she will tell me terrible things. If we are to do something, it has to favour her, not minding wht they other person feel. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Octopusssy(f): 11:04am On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo:You see this and you want to continue. When she says such terrible things let her know that if she ever tries such with you again, you are walking away. When people are angry, they say things that they keep hidden in their hearts. You better wake up and be sharp because she will not change. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Richy4(m): 11:14am On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo:That red ink is just too childish.. do not indulge her on that... Put your foot down... I guess it's because she is a virgin that is why u are still sticking around... If my instincts is correct, my brother free her.. There are non virgins that are still good girls..if you are looking for quality wife material, 80yards, e dey, 90yards, e dey... Even 96yards non virgin quality wife material... virginity got nothing to do with character.. it's a thing of choice... Also verbal abuse leads to domestic violence.. end it if u must so that she can be free from all her regrets.. 2 Likes |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by phemmyfour: 11:16am On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo:That's a red flag More like "she regretted chosen you", the probability that she LL dump you in the nearest future is high if a better man approach her 2 Likes |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Truvelisback(m): 11:19am On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo:U gave her the room for all these because u were hiding ur feelings abt her behaviour. U should have scolded her. 3 Likes |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Sammy07: 11:19am On Oct 22, 2022 |
Justkatty: True |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Sammy07: 11:20am On Oct 22, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: You most times type rubbish. 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by nnamdiosu(m): 12:24pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
[sup][/sup] Saintinoo: Regardless of all the good things you wrote about her, no 1 alone and no 2 (bad sides) has cancelled, countered, neutralized the good sides. All Don't get me wrong, no one is perfect. However there is a certain bad someone has, that can outweight all the good the person has. If she was the kind of person that can take to corrections, even with the bad sides, there would have been hope. BUT THE MOST TOXIC PERSON TO BE WITH IS THE PERSON THAT WON'T ACCEPT CORRECTIONS BUT RATHER BLAME OTHERS. Marriage is not always sweet. Is stressful especially when children comes in or finances are not as it used to be. That's when the very patience of one is tested. Imagine you two in the above situation, can you bear and cope? Your answer is the answer to the question you are asking on this thread. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by GboyegaD(m): 12:25pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo: If there's anything I can assure you is needed in the home for it to prosper, it is peace. That can only be gotten if you both can be truthful to yourself. The situation you describe isn't peaceful and if you both wouldn't work on the current situation, I wouldn't advice marriage. Therefore, take the bull by the horn, say it the way it is but from a place of love and respect and also suggest your solution to the situation which is counseling. |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by voidUpdate(m): 1:25pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Richy4: I didn't fully understand her, till I saw this. Saintinoo: This right here is a red flag (a counselor would have spotted this too). In every relationship, with everyone, there's a scale balance of power and respect. In successful marriages, the tilt of power is to the man (biblical example, Sarah called Abraham "Lord" ), and respect is tilted to the woman. Her bad character no 1, shows she's trying to shift that balance. Women are naturally hypergamous. It starts early in a relationship, they exhibit certain behaviors to watch your response. If you "always and constantly" give into their own ideas and demands, there the power balance begins to shifts towards her. In the end, she will "belittle" you, then move on the next man who she can't do that with. How to stop this? 1. Break up and date a woman who doesn't make it her sole aim to make all the decisions and manipulate the man to feel he's the cause of her failed decisions. 2. Understand the philosophy of power and respect in every relationship. The fact is many average Nigerian women's goal is to settle down and form a family with a man, eventually (you are actually doing her a favour). If she could turn back time? Stories, time is ticking and in her thirties, no man will seek for her again. Understand that you are the one doing her a favor. Try not to react in a way she will want you to (shouting angrily). Try not to constantly give into every single insignificant demand of hers. If all these don't work in 2-4months time. Then bro, your peace of mind is what's most important. Cause in the end, she will "belittle" you and move onto another man. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by descarado: 1:34pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo:If you know all these , can you tell us what you are doing here or is this one of those numerous threads created to bash women This place is boring these days 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by spiralwedge(m): 1:49pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
phemmyfour: Saintinoo, Best advice here. Take it. Your situation or relationship is a matter of time. She might be claiming she loves you, but has no iota of respect for you. No relationship will survive that no matter how long you endure. The good sides will keep you trapped, but will make you lose your peace of mind and stability. I just learnt this lesson recently. there are other good advice in this thread. Someone said the most toxic relationship is when one won't take correction and rather blame the other with manipulation. That will affect your mental health and make both of you look childish. You have to close your eyes and end the relationship once and for all. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by voidUpdate(m): 2:32pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Truvelisback: 100% true. I believe women are like mirrors, they show you all shades of "you". Whatever behaviors you tolerate are the ones she'll amplify. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by constance500: 2:44pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo: U will still come back here for advice.. No use your head.. I don tire to dey motivate people 2 Likes |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Nobody: 2:51pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
https://www.nairaland.com/7315731/dating-female-narcissist It seems you call every female you date a narcissist. The above thread is about someone else you dated whom you also labeled a narcissist. Either you're misusing the word or you're the problem. 4 Likes |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Helpout12345: 2:59pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
You are lucky to see these red flags before marriage. Though you omitted lots of information about the lady, those red flags should not be over looked. The red flags will multiply when you marry her. You cannot know a partner fully until you marry them and they have enough money to take care of themselves. Those red flags you have seen will take away your peace in your marriage if you marry her. Lastly, don't tell her these are red flags to you even if you want to advise her to change. If you tell her they are red flags, she will perfect her pretence game for you and you will not see any red flag again until you marry her. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by starpower(m): 3:18pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo:Sir nobody is complete, my dad married 3, all left including my late mum, na gentleman he be too, it never going to be perfect. Just know what you can't stand at all, because we rarely change as people. |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Saintinoo(m): 4:00pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
TooMuchJuice: Same girl bro, same girl. 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Saintinoo(m): 4:11pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
voidUpdate: Bro, of a truth i won't lie, i gave her so much liberty, i showed her so much love, care and respect, infact i gave her career and life more importance than mine. 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Saintinoo(m): 4:20pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
nnamdiosu: Talking about no 1 and 2. on control, she was complaining why i saw her pic on social media and didn't react, i told her that i didn't have data, so any comment i will give will sound odd. She picked offense, and asked me to comment right away. I saw that as commanding, and the way she said it. we had serious problem because of that. on using wrong words when she is angry, haha i dont want to go there, '' You make me regret saying yes to you, i wish i can turn the hands of time, you brought yourself and adjed me out, other demeaning words she use, and yet she accuses me of using demeaning words. Just that i dont like posting private chats on public forum, i would have shown you all these. |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Nobody: 4:36pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo: You said you "once dated" in that thread. If she's the same person you're talking about in this thread, that means you two broke up, then got back together. As you can see, the relationship is still not working. I mean, you're still complaining. Why not let it go and find someone else, or is it by force? You two aren't compatible or the issues are unresolvable between you two but somehow you're now heading into marriage with her. After marriage, you'll still be complaining that she's this and that. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Ebubu: 4:38pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo: if you marry her, just be ready to live with those flaws. but her good part are impressive though. but am also not saying you should marry her |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by nnamdiosu(m): 4:40pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo: It's well Bro..... R U N 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by N3wman: 4:41pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Nlfpmod comman hep this man life |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Gentlechika(m): 4:42pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
If you can't live with all these red flags now, what makes you think you can cope with it In the future. Bros, the red flags are overwhelming, and you've gat no balls to kick her out. Accept my sympathy in the future. |
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