₦airaland Forum

FromOuterSpace:
Girl, listen to me and listen very well.

1. You're 19. Not only should you still be a virgin at 19, but you should keep your virginity for as long as you can. You've only been dating this man for 7-months, and the fact that you're going back and forth about it means you're not ready, so don't do it. Even if you're sure about it, don't do it now or anytime soon.

2. You have no business dating a 34-year old. You're 19. Find a guy in his 20s to date, not someone 15-years older than you. Quite frankly, it's sickening of him to be preying after someone 15-years his junior. It's giving perversion and pedophilia.

3. You're asking if you should have sex with him and hope he'll marry you thereafter. Sweetheart, that is foolishness. A smart lady doesn't move like that. Why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free? Nigeria has enough single mothers already and many are in their 20s. Please don't become a statistic.

4. A man who loves you will wait until after marriage. He will marry you first, especially if you're a virgin. Point. Blank. Period. One thing I liked about my ex, even though he was a cheater (because I didn't want to sleep with him and why I eventually broke up with him and have no regrets about it) is that he never pressured me for sex and always said he would wait until after marriage. If a man has any ounce of love for you, that's what he will tell you and he most definitely will not pressure you for sex. No man who has ever truly loved a woman has asked her to sleep with him without/before marriage. That is not love, but lust.

5. The fact that he's having sexual discussions with you and telling you these things when your discussions should revolve around you finishing your studies or anything uplifting are enough to know this your relationship is lust-based and he's only pleasure-seeking.

Sad thing is even after reading this lovely piece. She will still do it...

Why do I feel this is a scam?

You want men to DM you, then hang them on a long thing, while you milk them of cash because they think they have found the right one. Feel free to dm him (her), but don't send cash. You have been warned.

Say no to sex before marriage

Hey! Honest opinion is that you shouldn't give this dude your coochieee. padlock it and throw the key into lagoon.

Being older than you with 15years isn't the issue but the red flags can even be seen by steve wonder. Long distance relationship (probaly he's married w/ kids): do you findings thoroughly.

& if you believe he hasn't had sex in like a year as you've said -your case is O.Y.O

My 2 cents!

FromOuterSpace:
Girl, listen to me and listen very well.

1. You're 19. Not only should you still be a virgin at 19, but you should keep your virginity for as long as you can. You've only been dating this man for 7-months, and the fact that you're going back and forth about it means you're not ready, so don't do it. Even if you're sure about it, don't do it now or anytime soon.

2. You have no business dating a 34-year old. You're 19. Find a guy in his 20s to date, not someone 15-years older than you. Quite frankly, it's sickening of him to be preying after someone 15-years his junior. It's giving perversion and pedophilia.

3. You're asking if you should have sex with him and hope he'll marry you thereafter. Sweetheart, that is foolishness. A smart lady doesn't move like that. Why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free? Nigeria has enough single mothers already and many are in their 20s. Please don't become a statistic.

4. A man who loves you will wait until after marriage. He will marry you first, especially if you're a virgin. Point. Blank. Period. One thing I liked about my ex, even though he was a cheater (because I didn't want to sleep with him and why I eventually broke up with him and have no regrets about it) is that he never pressured me for sex and always said he would wait until after marriage. If a man has any ounce of love for you, that's what he will tell you and he most definitely will not pressure you for sex. No man who has ever truly loved a woman has asked her to sleep with him without/before marriage. That is not love, but lust.

5. The fact that he's having sexual discussions with you and telling you these things when your discussions should revolve around you finishing your studies or anything uplifting are enough to know this your relationship is lust-based and he's only pleasure-seeking.

Please take the advice given herein. It is a rare gift and precious too

kernniejay:
The only reason he is dating you is to get to your pant and have a feel of what it's like to deflower a virgin. Believe me he is really taking his time to gradually make you surrender it to him willingly without giving you any suspicion or guilty feeling.

Exactly. A 19 years old and all he talks about with her is sex. What happens to questions that will help develop her mentally and financially.

Bloommax:
The only thing on my mind right now is a way I'll find an excuse to leave the relationship. I'm grateful that everyone here took their time to advice me. I'm not the type that throws wise words away. I just hope God strengths me and make me avoid all temptations. Thank you.

Good decision girl

So happy sane people responded to your post f

Do not sleep with him he's deceiving you we know their type, nothing wrong with being a virgin, leave the relationship and he's lying. Break up with him asap.

Chill till you are 21.

FromOuterSpace:
Girl, listen to me and listen very well.

1. You're 19. Not only should you still be a virgin at 19, but you should keep your virginity for as long as you can. You've only been dating this man for 7-months, and the fact that you're going back and forth about it means you're not ready, so don't do it. Even if you're sure about it, don't do it now or anytime soon.

2. You have no business dating a 34-year old. You're 19. Find a guy in his 20s to date, not someone 15-years older than you. Quite frankly, it's sickening of him to be preying after someone 15-years his junior. It's giving perversion and pedophilia.

3. You're asking if you should have sex with him and hope he'll marry you thereafter. Sweetheart, that is foolishness. A smart lady doesn't move like that. Why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free? Nigeria has enough single mothers already and many are in their 20s. Please don't become a statistic.

4. A man who loves you will wait until after marriage. He will marry you first, especially if you're a virgin. Point. Blank. Period. One thing I liked about my ex, even though he was a cheater (because I didn't want to sleep with him and why I eventually broke up with him and have no regrets about it) is that he never pressured me for sex and always said he would wait until after marriage. If a man has any ounce of love for you, that's what he will tell you and he most definitely will not pressure you for sex. No man who has ever truly loved a woman has asked her to sleep with him without/before marriage. That is not love, but lust.

5. The fact that he's having sexual discussions with you and telling you these things when your discussions should revolve around you finishing your studies or anything uplifting are enough to know this your relationship is lust-based and he's only pleasure-seeking.

I just feel like giving you a bottle of cold drink. I hope she listens to all you've said.

Count yourself lucky for being able to receive advice before making mistakes. So many ladies didn't have that opportunity. It's now on you to follow the advice. There's nothing special about sex ,please take your mind off it till you are married. God bless you

Bloommax:
Wonderful evening to y'all.

I just discovered Nairaland few weeks ago and I've read so many informative things and people's story. Some get advised and some get bashed when they drop their stories here, I hope I wouldn't.

Let me cut to the chase.

I'm 19, I'm a virgin and I'm a 300lvl student. I have a boyfriend that is 15years older than I am and he's sexually active. We met on online. We've known each other for seven months. We both love each other really well, even with the ups and downs that we've had in our relationship. This relationship is a long distance relationship. Now the thing is my boyfriend who is sexually active hasn't had sex for almost a year and lately he's been craving for sex. Sometimes I'll tell him I'm ready to have sex and other times I change my mind because of fear. I've been undecided about having sex. I thought about having sex with him maybe it'll make our bond stronger. He isn't married, he has no kids but he says he wish to marry me as soon as I graduate from the university. To be a virgin in a university isn't easy, there are temptations everywhere. Sometimes I get so tired of being a virgin and just want to have sex but other times I just want to keep it. One of my friends who is also my age had sex in 2019 and she has been sexually active ever since, she told me sex with males aren't really worth it, that if I'm ready I should try having sex with my gender because it's freaky.

I need advice please, should I have sex with this guy and hope that he'll marry me. Or I shouldn't and just be patient. He coming to meet me in two weeks time.

You had better keep your virginity before you lose your complete value overnight.
Don't be like dollar wey dey lose value sharply now ooo.

I said what I said

FromOuterSpace:
Girl, listen to me and listen very well.

1. You're 19. Not only should you still be a virgin at 19, but you should keep your virginity for as long as you can. You've only been dating this man for 7-months, and the fact that you're going back and forth about it means you're not ready, so don't do it. Even if you're sure about it, don't do it now or anytime soon.

2. You have no business dating a 34-year old. You're 19. Find a guy in his 20s to date, not someone 15-years older than you. Quite frankly, it's sickening of him to be preying after someone 15-years his junior. It's giving perversion and pedophilia.

3. You're asking if you should have sex with him and hope he'll marry you thereafter. Sweetheart, that is foolishness. A smart lady doesn't move like that. Why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free? Nigeria has enough single mothers already and many are in their 20s. Please don't become a statistic.

4. A man who loves you will wait until after marriage. He will marry you first, especially if you're a virgin. Point. Blank. Period. One thing I liked about my ex, even though he was a cheater (because I didn't want to sleep with him and why I eventually broke up with him and have no regrets about it) is that he never pressured me for sex and always said he would wait until after marriage. If a man has any ounce of love for you, that's what he will tell you and he most definitely will not pressure you for sex. No man who has ever truly loved a woman has asked her to sleep with him without/before marriage. That is not love, but lust.

5. The fact that he's having sexual discussions with you and telling you these things when your discussions should revolve around you finishing your studies or anything uplifting are enough to know this your relationship is lust-based and he's only pleasure-seeking.

What ever you decide OP don't listen to this guy, just because he wants to have sex with you doesn't mean he is a bad person, he only wants to know how committed you are in the relationship.

Also the age difference shouldn't be an issue as long as he genuinely wants to marry you, matter of fact you are just the perfect age for a 35yrs old man, since you've passed the threshold of 18.


Do not wait after marriage before you engage in sex with him, know what you are getting in right now before you make such a huge decision.


Enjoy your life and dont let anyone dictate for you,wrong or right.

Have you been collecting his money,if Yes, please reciprocate .....if No....atlas..! some other person will still do it .. give it to him cos you're not doing anything with your vagina.you are either using it to pee or menstruate

But on a serious note, na better people dey nairaland this nite. Interesting advice so far

Paracetamol01:
Have you been collecting his money,if Yes, please reciprocate .....if No....atlas..! some other person will still do it .. give it to him cos you're not doing anything with your vagina.you are either using it to pee or menstruate

Them don finally show, Op ignore this post ooo, na them

19yrs and 15Yrs this children don spoil their body...oooo is like you no study biology before

This one that you're friend is telling you to look for lesbians or you should be one, two pussies can't Bleep each other , our God is a great artist , the way He has designed it you can never cheat nature , is either you use cucumber or dildos, if not you guys are wasting your time ..

Abeg if the thing no be original, e no fit be ..

toobusy:
Let me be honest with you,sex is excessively over-hyped,there isn't anything special about it outside from reproduction,I have had a good number of real bad experiences in life,but I haven't regretted any of them as much as I regret losing my virginity on the eve of my 24th birthday.religion apart,every reasonable human should stay away from pre-marital sex, consider anyone who wants to lure you into that as an enemy and stay far away from them.

pastor u don talk finished?

Bloommax:
Wonderful evening to y'all.

I just discovered Nairaland few weeks ago and I've read so many informative things and people's story. Some get advised and some get bashed when they drop their stories here, I hope I wouldn't.

Let me cut to the chase.

I'm 19, I'm a virgin and I'm a 300lvl student. I have a boyfriend that is 15years older than I am and he's sexually active. We met on online. We've known each other for seven months. We both love each other really well, even with the ups and downs that we've had in our relationship. This relationship is a long distance relationship. Now the thing is my boyfriend who is sexually active hasn't had sex for almost a year and lately he's been craving for sex. Sometimes I'll tell him I'm ready to have sex and other times I change my mind because of fear. I've been undecided about having sex. I thought about having sex with him maybe it'll make our bond stronger. He isn't married, he has no kids but he says he wish to marry me as soon as I graduate from the university. To be a virgin in a university isn't easy, there are temptations everywhere. Sometimes I get so tired of being a virgin and just want to have sex but other times I just want to keep it. One of my friends who is also my age had sex in 2019 and she has been sexually active ever since, she told me sex with males aren't really worth it, that if I'm ready I should try having sex with my gender because it's freaky.

I need advice please, should I have sex with this guy and hope that he'll marry me. Or I shouldn't and just be patient. He coming to meet me in two weeks time.

Your problem is that you have kept your virginity to date without any cogent reason. Your mind is empty and vague. Build your life around sound principles, seek knowledge, pursue understanding and you wont need to have to come to Nairaland for advice on whether or not to keep your virginity.

Bloommax:
Wonderful evening to y'all.

I just discovered Nairaland few weeks ago and I've read so many informative things and people's story. Some get advised and some get bashed when they drop their stories here, I hope I wouldn't.

Let me cut to the chase.

I'm 19, I'm a virgin and I'm a 300lvl student. I have a boyfriend that is 15years older than I am and he's sexually active. We met on online. We've known each other for seven months. We both love each other really well, even with the ups and downs that we've had in our relationship. This relationship is a long distance relationship. Now the thing is my boyfriend who is sexually active hasn't had sex for almost a year and lately he's been craving for sex. Sometimes I'll tell him I'm ready to have sex and other times I change my mind because of fear. I've been undecided about having sex. I thought about having sex with him maybe it'll make our bond stronger. He isn't married, he has no kids but he says he wish to marry me as soon as I graduate from the university. To be a virgin in a university isn't easy, there are temptations everywhere. Sometimes I get so tired of being a virgin and just want to have sex but other times I just want to keep it. One of my friends who is also my age had sex in 2019 and she has been sexually active ever since, she told me sex with males aren't really worth it, that if I'm ready I should try having sex with my gender because it's freaky.

I need advice please, should I have sex with this guy and hope that he'll marry me. Or I shouldn't and just be patient. He coming to meet me in two weeks time.

Many people here have made quite a lot of valid points. To add them, let me tell you, sex is sweet, but it comes with a myriads of regrets especially when done outside marriage. Do not forget that even if you forget every other thing said here. Zip up for now, the future ahead is too bright to create manmade "had i know".

Bloommax:
Wonderful evening to y'all.

I just discovered Nairaland few weeks ago and I've read so many informative things and people's story. Some get advised and some get bashed when they drop their stories here, I hope I wouldn't.

Let me cut to the chase.

I'm 19, I'm a virgin and I'm a 300lvl student. I have a boyfriend that is 15years older than I am and he's sexually active. We met on online. We've known each other for seven months. We both love each other really well, even with the ups and downs that we've had in our relationship. This relationship is a long distance relationship. Now the thing is my boyfriend who is sexually active hasn't had sex for almost a year and lately he's been craving for sex. Sometimes I'll tell him I'm ready to have sex and other times I change my mind because of fear. I've been undecided about having sex. I thought about having sex with him maybe it'll make our bond stronger. He isn't married, he has no kids but he says he wish to marry me as soon as I graduate from the university. To be a virgin in a university isn't easy, there are temptations everywhere. Sometimes I get so tired of being a virgin and just want to have sex but other times I just want to keep it. One of my friends who is also my age had sex in 2019 and she has been sexually active ever since, she told me sex with males aren't really worth it, that if I'm ready I should try having sex with my gender because it's freaky.

I need advice please, should I have sex with this guy and hope that he'll marry me. Or I shouldn't and just be patient. He coming to meet me in two weeks time.

Apart from sex, what on Earth attracts you to such an old man? Have you ever wondered why he's looking for an impressionable teenager when he's in his mid thirties? Don't think you're mature because you're in a relationship with an older man and you think you are wise for your years, especially not because he told you so. It's a lie many old men tell little girls they want to own and control.

Ups and downs in a relationship at nineteen with a 34 year old man, you have your work cut out for you at your age... He's old enough to tell you if you should have sex with him. And you're old enough to consider him for a relationship, aren't you? You don't need public validation now.

Lesbian sex even? This is a farce.

Bloommax:
The only thing on my mind right now is a way I'll find an excuse to leave the relationship. I'm grateful that everyone here took their time to advice me. I'm not the type that throws wise words away. I just hope God strengths me and make me avoid all temptations. Thank you.

There is another important issue no one is giving you advice about, your friend that adviced you to try having sex with your gender........Stay away from her too...just like your boyfriend, she is also evil

Bloommax:
It isn't. All I need is the right advice.

dating someone who is older than u tells me that u will be decieved...that man is going to take advantage of u.he knows too much and u know nothing...date someone u can play with..discuse anything with not ur dad..thks

Please keep your virginity. Too many liars in the streets. They’ll say anything and pretend to love you just to get in your pants.
Concentrate on your studies, that should be your priority.
Keeping your virginity will save you from heartbreaks, unwanted pregnancies and diseases.
Your friend said sex with your gender is more interesting. Lol. It’s disgusting and the worst kind. Do not even think about it. Live right and enjoy the benefits. Please keep your virginity till you are mature enough. Don’t fall for their lip service.

Firstly unfollow any friend that you and them is not on thesame track. That my advice to you due to experience

toobusy:
Let me be honest with you,sex is excessively over-hyped,there isn't anything special about it outside from reproduction,I have had a good number of real bad experiences in life,but I haven't regretted any of them as much as I regret losing my virginity on the eve of my 24th birthday.religion apart,every reasonable human should stay away from pre-marital sex, consider anyone who wants to lure you into that as an enemy and stay far away from them.

if u had kept ur virginity maybe u would have been in a better position to talk on this matter..only men and virgins have the moral right to advise this lady...pls op keep ur virginity that old man wants to take advantage of ur teenage mind..date a friend not ur dad

The fact that people are advising you to keep your self, is amusing. Its just like advising someone to breath air.

@fromouterspace, has given you the best advise and many others too. ( God bless them)

I would only correct one thing he said, and that is DATING.
Sweety, you have no business with dating anyone. You have a life ahead of you. Many unachieved dreams. A beautiful future. More bridges to cross. You need to graduate first and foremost. you need a skill, you need self development. You need to get a good job. ETC.
So why the rush
I have written it before, WHAT PEOPLE GO INTO THE SOCALLED BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND RELATIONSHIP TO DO, IS TO GO AND HAVE SEX. Nothing else. Stay away from it.
As for that relationship, please end it, before it ends u or your dreams. ( The end of it is usually BABYMAMARISM. ( if there is any word like that))

When you are finally ready for marriage, kindly get down on your knees and seek for it, from the author, originator and giver of good marriages;GOD

NB: hope you have a relationship with him ( you should. Its worth it)

I want to also expantiate something on dating men that are TOO older than you:

The fact that ur supposed lover is almost twice your age, is unappealing. ( I will tell you why)

Marry someone whose zeal, Vigour, excitement of life, matches your own or that of your age group.( except if God is saying otherwise)
Imagine now, that your life is just beginning, why would u want to entangle with someone whose excitement and euthusiam about life is already diminishing. Where is the fun? For example, You want to go out with him and have fun with friends......he feels its childish. Yes it is TO HIM it truly is. Thats because he has done it ( exhausted the fun) during his own time and is already bored with it. So he expects u to also be bored like he is now.

You may also want to eat out sometimes, and he will feel too tired and then advises you on why home cooked food is better. ( age is telling on him) let's leave that for another day.


You see that friend wey advise you on lesbianism bah, nack am 2 by 2.

MztaIkp:
Chill till you are 21.

till she's married or till when she thinks she's balanced n stable enough to handle disappointment that will come after sex

Better face your educstion/career. When he tears your hymen your eyes go clear. Stupid girl. 19 years talking about se*x like that. Go and open ya legs. You are even dating someone 15yeaes older than you? Were!!!

Bloommax:
Wonderful evening to y'all.

I just discovered Nairaland few weeks ago and I've read so many informative things and people's story. Some get advised and some get bashed when they drop their stories here, I hope I wouldn't.

Let me cut to the chase.

I'm 19, I'm a virgin and I'm a 300lvl student. I have a boyfriend that is 15years older than I am and he's sexually active. We met on online. We've known each other for seven months. We both love each other really well, even with the ups and downs that we've had in our relationship. This relationship is a long distance relationship. Now the thing is my boyfriend who is sexually active hasn't had sex for almost a year and lately he's been craving for sex. Sometimes I'll tell him I'm ready to have sex and other times I change my mind because of fear. I've been undecided about having sex. I thought about having sex with him maybe it'll make our bond stronger. He isn't married, he has no kids but he says he wish to marry me as soon as I graduate from the university. To be a virgin in a university isn't easy, there are temptations everywhere. Sometimes I get so tired of being a virgin and just want to have sex but other times I just want to keep it. One of my friends who is also my age had sex in 2019 and she has been sexually active ever since, she told me sex with males aren't really worth it, that if I'm ready I should try having sex with my gender because it's freaky.

I need advice please, should I have sex with this guy and hope that he'll marry me. Or I shouldn't and just be patient. He coming to meet me in two weeks time.

Fair point

Paracetamol01:
Have you been collecting his money,if Yes, please reciprocate .....if No....atlas..! some other person will still do it .. give it to him cos you're not doing anything with your vagina.you are either using it to pee or menstruate

Shame on you.

tunapawizzy:
till she's married or till when she thinks she's balanced n stable enough to handle disappointment that will come after sex

Fair point