Bloommax:

Wonderful evening to y'all.

I just discovered Nairaland few weeks ago and I've read so many informative things and people's story. Some get advised and some get bashed when they drop their stories here, I hope I wouldn't.

Let me cut to the chase.

I'm 19, I'm a virgin and I'm a 300lvl student. I have a boyfriend that is 15years older than I am and he's sexually active. We met on online. We've known each other for seven months. We both love each other really well, even with the ups and downs that we've had in our relationship. This relationship is a long distance relationship. Now the thing is my boyfriend who is sexually active hasn't had sex for almost a year and lately he's been craving for sex. Sometimes I'll tell him I'm ready to have sex and other times I change my mind because of fear. I've been undecided about having sex. I thought about having sex with him maybe it'll make our bond stronger. He isn't married, he has no kids but he says he wish to marry me as soon as I graduate from the university. To be a virgin in a university isn't easy, there are temptations everywhere. Sometimes I get so tired of being a virgin and just want to have sex but other times I just want to keep it. One of my friends who is also my age had sex in 2019 and she has been sexually active ever since, she told me sex with males aren't really worth it, that if I'm ready I should try having sex with my gender because it's freaky.

I need advice please, should I have sex with this guy and hope that he'll marry me. Or I shouldn't and just be patient. He coming to meet me in two weeks time.

Bloommax:
It isn't. All I need is the right advice.

Bloommax:

Wonderful evening to y'all.

I just discovered Nairaland few weeks ago and I've read so many informative things and people's story. Some get advised and some get bashed when they drop their stories here, I hope I wouldn't.

Let me cut to the chase.

I'm 19, I'm a virgin and I'm a 300lvl student. I have a boyfriend that is 15years older than I am and he's sexually active. We met on online. We've known each other for seven months. We both love each other really well, even with the ups and downs that we've had in our relationship. This relationship is a long distance relationship. Now the thing is my boyfriend who is sexually active hasn't had sex for almost a year and lately he's been craving for sex. Sometimes I'll tell him I'm ready to have sex and other times I change my mind because of fear. I've been undecided about having sex. I thought about having sex with him maybe it'll make our bond stronger. He isn't married, he has no kids but he says he wish to marry me as soon as I graduate from the university. To be a virgin in a university isn't easy, there are temptations everywhere. Sometimes I get so tired of being a virgin and just want to have sex but other times I just want to keep it. One of my friends who is also my age had sex in 2019 and she has been sexually active ever since, she told me sex with males aren't really worth it, that if I'm ready I should try having sex with my gender because it's freaky.

I need advice please, should I have sex with this guy and hope that he'll marry me. Or I shouldn't and just be patient. He coming to meet me in two weeks time.

NoToPile:



you must have been very active with campus fellowship,

The ones I hate most are the canopy/umbrella ministry gang, hangers association they will not allow better brother see sister, crowding around her, talk them no go talk wetin dey their mind , people will be assuming he has something with sister and nothing oo but they will not leave sister alone. God forbid evil umbrella.

I was not very active on campus fellowship back then.... But I lived with spiritual brothers in the same premises back then..
The way u described hanger association is funny... Those campus things do bring fun memories back honestly

FromOuterSpace:
Girl, listen to me and listen very well.


4. A man who loves you will wait until after marriage. He will marry you first, especially if you're a virgin. Point. Blank. Period. One thing I liked about my ex, even though he was a cheater (because I didn't want to sleep with him and why I eventually broke up with him and have no regrets about it) is that he never pressured me for sex and always said he would wait until after marriage. If a man has any ounce of love for you, that's what he will tell you and he most definitely will not pressure you for sex. No man who has ever truly loved a woman has asked her to sleep with him without/before marriage. That is not love, but lust.

5. The fact that he's having sexual discussions with you and telling you these things when your discussions should revolve around you finishing your studies or anything uplifting are enough to know this your relationship is lust-based and he's only pleasure-seeking.

Bloommax:

Wonderful evening to y'all.

I just discovered Nairaland few weeks ago and I've read so many informative things and people's story. Some get advised and some get bashed when they drop their stories here, I hope I wouldn't.

Let me cut to the chase.

I'm 19, I'm a virgin and I'm a 300lvl student. I have a boyfriend that is 15years older than I am and he's sexually active. We met on online. We've known each other for seven months. We both love each other really well, even with the ups and downs that we've had in our relationship. This relationship is a long distance relationship. Now the thing is my boyfriend who is sexually active hasn't had sex for almost a year and lately he's been craving for sex. Sometimes I'll tell him I'm ready to have sex and other times I change my mind because of fear. I've been undecided about having sex. I thought about having sex with him maybe it'll make our bond stronger. He isn't married, he has no kids but he says he wish to marry me as soon as I graduate from the university. To be a virgin in a university isn't easy, there are temptations everywhere. Sometimes I get so tired of being a virgin and just want to have sex but other times I just want to keep it. One of my friends who is also my age had sex in 2019 and she has been sexually active ever since, she told me sex with males aren't really worth it, that if I'm ready I should try having sex with my gender because it's freaky.

I need advice please, should I have sex with this guy and hope that he'll marry me. Or I shouldn't and just be patient. He coming to meet me in two weeks time.

Bloommax:
Thank you so much for this ma.

MethPedo:
I blame your parents and older sibs for not keeping tabs on you
Because why TF would you be dating at 19?

Bloommax:
Thank you so much for this ma.

Bahamas95:
I just hope this isn't another super story.

jamesharryson:

You see these two points, they are out of place. But other points are very well okay. Adults think of sex more often than ever. But our ability to control the urge make us more mature (talking base on number 5). If at hisbgae he didn't discuss sex with her, then he is discussing it with another. Which was the more reason your ex cheated on you without your knowledge. They need to understand their sexual histories.
As for this number 4, a man who loves you, can wait till internity to have sex with you, only when: 1. He has never tasted sex for the first time and
2. He has someone somewhere satisfying his sexual urge and also
3. He is not man enough to have sex with you.

But other points you raised are in place

Bahamas95:
I just hope this isn't another super story.

Bloommax:
The only thing on my mind right now is a way I'll find an excuse to leave the relationship. I'm grateful that everyone here took their time to advice me. I'm not the type that throws wise words away. I just hope God strengths me and make me avoid all temptations. Thank you.

Bloommax:

Wonderful evening to y'all.

I just discovered Nairaland few weeks ago and I've read so many informative things and people's story. Some get advised and some get bashed when they drop their stories here, I hope I wouldn't.

Let me cut to the chase.

I'm 19, I'm a virgin and I'm a 300lvl student. I have a boyfriend that is 15years older than I am and he's sexually active. We met on online. We've known each other for seven months. We both love each other really well, even with the ups and downs that we've had in our relationship. This relationship is a long distance relationship. Now the thing is my boyfriend who is sexually active hasn't had sex for almost a year and lately he's been craving for sex. Sometimes I'll tell him I'm ready to have sex and other times I change my mind because of fear. I've been undecided about having sex. I thought about having sex with him maybe it'll make our bond stronger. He isn't married, he has no kids but he says he wish to marry me as soon as I graduate from the university. To be a virgin in a university isn't easy, there are temptations everywhere. Sometimes I get so tired of being a virgin and just want to have sex but other times I just want to keep it. One of my friends who is also my age had sex in 2019 and she has been sexually active ever since, she told me sex with males aren't really worth it, that if I'm ready I should try having sex with my gender because it's freaky.

I need advice please, should I have sex with this guy and hope that he'll marry me. Or I shouldn't and just be patient. He coming to meet me in two weeks time.

mildteddy:


Glad so many people gave you a sound advice.

I have a friend who was in your shoes (I met her when she was 24 years). She started sleeping with the very much older guy she was dating at 19 years. She got pregnant for him and had to drop out of school and go incommunicado with her parents.

Her life has been ups and downs since then. The guy asked her and her baby to pack out of his house 2 years ago. She has been unable to finish school, and had to move to her hometown from the city to live with her parents, so she can take care of the baby.

Till date it's not been easy for her (some mistakes alter your trajectory for life).

The advice that poster gave you is the best advice. You have more to gain if you listen to her. Keep your virginity for someone who is worth waiting for. Keep it till after university and NYSC (I did it, it's possible.). Keep it till you marry.

budaatum:

No, don't have sex with this guy and hope he'll marry you. He might not marry you, so have sex with this guy only because you want to have sex with this guy.

Really though. Don't have sex with anyone until you've graduated, because you'd be much smarter in your choices.

HardMirror:
see it is a lie! I am a man and yes we want sex with people we love. The challenge now is does he truly want u? He is most likely lying to u about not having sex for a year. As for me no sex no relationship and it does not mean i dont love a girl or only want her for sex. But sex must be part of the relationship.

But be very careful, he could just want your punny and dump you. Not all men are men, some are dogs and some women are useless butches.

As for you, you are a naive fool

FromOuterSpace:
Girl, listen to me and listen very well.

1. You're 19. Not only should you still be a virgin at 19, but you should keep your virginity for as long as you can. You've only been dating this man for 7-months, and the fact that you're going back and forth about it means you're not ready, so don't do it. Even if you're sure about it, don't do it now or anytime soon.

2. You have no business dating a 34-year old. You're 19. Find a guy in his 20s to date, not someone 15-years older than you. Quite frankly, it's sickening of him to be preying after someone 15-years his junior. It's giving perversion and pedophilia.

3. You're asking if you should have sex with him and hope he'll marry you thereafter. Sweetheart, that is foolishness. A smart lady doesn't move like that. Why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free? Nigeria has enough single mothers already and many are in their 20s. Please don't become a statistic.

4. A man who loves you will wait until after marriage. He will marry you first, especially if you're a virgin. Point. Blank. Period. One thing I liked about my ex, even though he was a cheater (because I didn't want to sleep with him and why I eventually broke up with him and have no regrets about it) is that he never pressured me for sex and always said he would wait until after marriage. If a man has any ounce of love for you, that's what he will tell you and he most definitely will not pressure you for sex. No man who has ever truly loved a woman has asked her to sleep with him without/before marriage. That is not love, but lust.

5. The fact that he's having sexual discussions with you and telling you these things when your discussions should revolve around you finishing your studies or anything uplifting are enough to know this your relationship is lust-based and he's only pleasure-seeking.

IkeAbuja:
Ihe emebiwo women of nowadays got no shame again you're asking whether you should have sex or not that is the 1st class degree your parents sent you to school to acquire and make them proud EWU GAMBIA

Bloommax:
It isn't. All I need is the right advice.

Safyqueen:
The beauty of Islam is that this type of case doesn't exist talk less of seeking advice on how to go about it.

You think sex is just anything you engage in anyhow? Haba.

Become a Muslim, perhaps your virginity will be a valuable asset for you that you will not trade anyhow with gold diggers.