₦airaland Forum

JASONjnr:
I don't know how you go about it... But I've never started a conversation with a lady I like and have interest for, without asking her if she's in any relationship....

If she says yes....I stop the communication



If she says, the guy isn't serious and she's holding on to break up... I will equally stop communication.

But if she says No...I will write out my intentions, I mean, I will speak it out. She will have to accept me or reject me...

I will not give room to, "Let's be friends first"....

I just want to be serious and if you can't be serious, then we have to move on.

OP, you devout so much time and attention to get a woman.And you consider so many rules. If she asked you, if you have money to spend on her head...That wasn't supposed to be a turn off....Ask her how much and check your pockets...

If you're not financially strong, why going to look for ladies that's as pretty as Rita Dominic....Abi you no see girls weh resemble James Brown?

I think I am going to adopt this method. I was chatting with a very pretty girl I met on Facebook and somehow got attracted to her. We moved from Facebook to Whatsapp, then she told me of her birthday coming up and complained earlier that her phone was very bad and she might take it to the repairer and might not pick my calls incase she was not with the phone. I was planning on how to surprise her with a brand new samsung phone on her birthday (she uses Techno and it hangs alot).
Then few days to the birthday, I saw her upload a handsome guy on her status and wished him happy birthday with kisses and love emoji (something she never used for me), I jokinly asked her if the guy is her boyfriend and she said YES.
I started withdrawing myself and the communication died off. That was how I wasted my time for 6 months.
I need to start being direct and more straightforward about my intentions.
Honestly, I fell in love with this girl and even planning of marrying her not knowing that she has a boyfriend.

From experience..most pretty Naija ladies want you to worship them.They are no even good communicator and expect you to always bring topic,they want a man with good sense of humor but they are sadists.ive met ladies from Zambia,Botswana and some Afrincan countries and it was really fun talking and dating them.Their Beauty and level of intelligence is top notch.If I japa..I will not touch A Naija lady with a 20feet pole.The want to feel in charge always.Am too stubborn for them.lol

Kobojunkie:
All this writeup here is give us a glimpse into your ability to reason the world around you and the kind of relationships you get yourself into.

Those girls are not your problem at all. You are and you should look into yourself to realize why these are the kind of people you continue to attract even at your age.

It's like you have issues with comprehension cos his narrative is quite clear

wirinet:
There is a saying that if every one you meet seems mad, it's time to start examining your sanity. You might be the one making poor judgement.

Kindness does not necessarily give you the girl of your requirements. What can get you any girl of your dreams I to find the needs of the woman and fill them or at least promise or attempt to fill them.


If you don't ask them out then, what do you actually want from them. After a certain age girls don't like guys who just come to waste their time.

you are a pathological simp

bestdudes:
Lady 1: I had been chatting with this lady on Twitter without asking for her number. It has been on and off for more than one year. So about 3 months ago, I decided to ask for her number, which she delayed but later gave it on the same day.

Lady 2: This one is from Twitter as well. We started talking from a thread and I decided to DM her. I liked her energy. She was light and responsive, very open and communicative.



Lady 3: Met this one after church and we were going in the same direction. I spoke to her and we exchange numbers. We chatted, and I called. We arranged to meet up. On the day of our meeting, which was the first after that Sunday, she asked me whether I have knowledge of digital marketing or social media marketing. I said I do but it is not something that can be discussed on WhatsApp, except we meet so that I can explain it to her.



Others may believe that thread but definitely not me. I do not believe that a girl, especially the pretty ones, will live from age 1 to 30 and never come across a man with good intentions. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE!

Contact iLegendd. LOL.

Thattallgirl:
I wasn't talking about them. If you meet someone new whether online or in person, and you guys begin chatting and flowing and all that, what's usually the next thing that comes to your mind to ask her?

It depends on my motive for getting close to them... I have those whom I just want to be friends with and I have those whom I would want to date. It is not all I want to date.

But if she is good on rapport levels and I feel she is a good communicator, very direct and open, I might try. I am someone who loves good communication and maintaining a good energy balance.

I do not like unnecessary "forming" like the lady who chose to lie over a simple thing that she does not have airtime to reply. And if she says NO, I walk away.

So why did you ask this specifically? Is there something you are trying to find out?

Parizz:
you are a pathological simp

He is married oo.. Na my big bros. he does not yet know the person behind this handle.

Aaaaarghmed:
From experience..most pretty Naija ladies want you to worship them. They are no even good communicator and expect you to always bring topic, they want a man with good sense of humor but they are sadists. ive met ladies from Zambia,Botswana and some Afrincan countries and it was really fun talking and dating them. Their Beauty and level of intelligence is top notch. If I japa..I will not touch A Naija lady with a 20feet pole. The want to feel in charge always.Am too stubborn for them.lol

most pretty Naija ladies want you to worship them -- very correct. That is because Nigerian men have spoilt them so much. It is also why when they leave for US, UK or Canada, they get shocked that they can't find men to talk to them cos men in those place no send women much.

They are no even good communicator and expect you to always bring topic -- very correct

ive met ladies from Zambia,Botswana and some Afrincan countries and it was really fun talking -- very correct. I once met a South African here and damn, she was so lively. Nigerian girls will be clumsily replying you.

bestdudes:
Some weeks ago, this thread titled: "Not All 30yrs Old Ladies Were Approached By Serious Men In Their 20's" graced the Nairaland front page.

Here is a link to the thread: https://www.nairaland.com/7368480/not-all-30yrs-old-ladies

It is highly impossible that averagely pretty and above-average pretty ladies didn't meet serious men in their 20s. It is not possible. The problem with many ladies is that they have a very poor selection and also have a very bad attitude that chases good men away.

I am going to share my recent experience with 3 ladies and why I decided to walk away.

Lady 1: I had been chatting with this lady on Twitter without asking for her number. It has been on and off for more than one year. So about 3 months ago, I decided to ask for her number, which she delayed but later gave it on the same day.

For the records, this lady is pretty, she looks very much like Rita Dominic, very striking resemblance. Just to give you an idea that she is pretty.

We chatted a few times and then I decided to call. The first two were brief but the 3rd was much longer and somewhat boring because I was doing most of the topic or angle infusion, more like I was the one bringing up topics to sustain the interactions.

Before that 3rd call, I sent an SMS to ask if she was still at work and she replied to the SMS and said she was still at work. So I had to wait for about 1 hour before I called.

After the call, I texted her to say she has a good voice. I asked whether she sings or loves singing. It was just an innocent question borne out of curiosity because I could imagine she is a good singer with such a voice

She didn't reply to the SMS. Of course, I expected that, knowing how ladies behave over something as simple as that. While on Twitter, I asked whether she got the SMS, and she said that she saw it but didn't have airtime to reply lol...

That was a lie of course. I wonder why she would lie, perhaps she wanted to "form" or what? Ma'am, it was just a simple curious question.

I decided to take a stroll to her profile that same day and there I saw what completely turned me off. On her profile, she said people think she enjoys calls but she does not want calls and that they will think chatting her up on WhatsApp is better but she does not enjoy that either.

If that is the case, why give your number out? Why not isolate yourself from people entirely so that no one interacts with you? Are you better than those who took out time to spend it with you via calls?

I interpreted her mentality and worldview as someone who feels too important and does appreciate the effort of people who try to reach out to her or interact.

On seeing that, It was disappointing to note what she thought of others who called or chatted her up, I mean these are people's time that can't be gotten back lol.

Lady 2: This one is from Twitter as well. We started talking from a thread and I decided to DM her. I liked her energy. She was light and responsive, very open and communicative.

She started asking for my picture because I do not display my picture on Twitter. I was reluctant initially but sent it cos she persisted... after much chat, we exchanged numbers and I chatted her up on WhatsApp 2 days later. We talked about hanging out in December but she said she would be traveling to her state for the festive season.

While we were chatting, I had called before then, I simply asked whether she has entered another relationship after the last one she mentioned on Twitter.

Guess her response? she said "Do you have money to spend on my head"? For a less than 1 week interaction?

Oh, God... I knew I wouldn't want to have anything to do with this one beyond WhatsApp or Twitter. I reduced my interactions with her and it died.

For the two ladies above, I do not often remember they are on my contact anymore except when I see their status lol.

Let's move on

Lady 3: Met this one after church and we were going in the same direction. I spoke to her and we exchange numbers. We chatted, and I called. We arranged to meet up. On the day of our meeting, which was the first after that Sunday, she asked me whether I have knowledge of digital marketing or social media marketing. I said I do but it is not something that can be discussed on WhatsApp, except we meet so that I can explain it to her.

Though chatting her up was very slow as she is rarely online. She takes a few hours to reply lol.

We met and the meeting was more of a lecture with me answering all her questions. I enjoyed it anyway.

Knowing that I exchanged numbers because I was attracted to her, I had to find a way to subtly give hint. Now, here is the challenge I had. She increasingly started replying with monosyllables like "yeah", okay, no, lol, ,

On noticing that, I knew it was time to exit from her life and I did.

The above 3 ladies are pretty facially and above average... With their attitude that made me leave them alone, tomorrow, they will come online to write "Not All 30yrs Old Ladies Were Approached By Serious Men In Their 20's" lol and some persons will be saying it is true blah blah...

Girls are the architect of their own misfortune. You will see a man being a decent gentleman and develop a habit that chases them away. In the same vein, they will accept the guys who do not have any good intentions toward them.

Others may believe that thread but definitely not me. I do not believe that a girl, especially the pretty ones, will live from age 1 to 30 and never come across a man with good intentions. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE!

Op you're not at fault but from what I can deduce from this your typing is that you opened yourself to these ladies, though I don't know the depth of certain conversations you had with them on phone calls.
Remain mysterious to people, that way they will be confuse and they will try to unravel the kind of person you are.
Just be plane to them and make them to hear what they want but don't be detailed about your personality.

Nobody is ever single..... You are still naive in the ways of the dating world.

Basalt:
I think I am going to adopt this method. I was chatting with a very pretty girl I met on Facebook and somehow got attracted to her. We moved from Facebook to Whatsapp, then she told me of her birthday coming up and complained earlier that her phone was very bad and she might take it to the repairer and might not pick my calls incase she was not with the phone. I was planning on how to surprise her with a brand new samsung phone on her birthday (she uses Techno and it hangs alot).
Then few days to the birthday, I saw her upload a handsome guy on her status and wished him happy birthday with kisses and love emoji (something she never used for me), I jokinly asked her if the guy is her boyfriend and she said YES.
I started withdrawing myself and the communication died off. That was how I wasted my time for 6 months.
I need to start being direct and more straightforward about my intentions.
Honestly, I fell in love with this girl and even planning of marrying her not knowing that she has a boyfriend.

@ the OP from your writeup there, what I can detect is a man carrying out an experiment to proof a point rather than trying to understand what women really want. You judged those ladies blindly if I must say, because you never really get to meet and interact with them in person, rather from your thought and assumptions of their kind of person, you already assumed you understand them better. What if they also wanted to experiment your kind of person by acting out just to see how you response also. And from the 3rd lady correct me if am wrong, you both already had an agreement that your meet was more of a study meet than an actual date, but then you concluded on the first met. Anyways what do. Am new here guys

JASONjnr:
I don't know how you go about it... But I've never started a conversation with a lady I like and have interest for, without asking her if she's in any relationship....

If she says yes....I stop the communication



If she says, the guy isn't serious and she's holding on to break up... I will equally stop communication.

But if she says No...I will write out my intentions, I mean, I will speak it out. She will have to accept me or reject me...

I will not give room to, "Let's be friends first"....

I just want to be serious and if you can't be serious, then we have to move on.

OP, you devout so much time and attention to get a woman.And you consider so many rules. If she asked you, if you have money to spend on her head...That wasn't supposed to be a turn off....Ask her how much and check your pockets...

If you're not financially strong, why going to look for ladies that's as pretty as Rita Dominic....Abi you no see girls weh resemble James Brown?

So your motive in a relationship is to spend on a lady. . Men dey oh.

brandsoncharlie:
Op you're not at fault but from what I can deduce from this your typing is that you opened yourself to these ladies, though I don't know the depth of certain conversations you had with them on phone calls.
Remain mysterious to people, that way they will be confuse and they will try to unravel the kind of person you are.
Just be plane to them and make them to hear what they want but don't be detailed about your personality.

This is true. I am too free but I am learning to change that.

Dailyparrot:
Whether you want sex from a woman or not, she will definitely play some hard to get tricks immediately you start showing interest in her which is normal. So, backing out from a lady simply because of the flimsy attitudes you described above is extreme.

I guess you are not a player. Real players don't back out easily. Have you wondered why those street urchins tend to get the most beautiful girls? They are patient!

You need some level of patience and tolerance to deal with women. It's those that will differentiate you from the other guys.

In whatever you do with a woman, always define what you want in your mind. That will determine your approach, tolerance level, and quit time.

I have used this approach to deal with so many ladies and dump them after using them.

Kobojunkie:
All this writeup here is give us a glimpse into your ability to reason the world around you and the kind of relationships you get yourself into.

Those girls are not your problem at all. You are and you should look into yourself to realize why these are the kind of people you continue to attract even at your age.

Simp

brandsoncharlie:
So your motive in a relationship is to spend on a lady. . Men dey oh.

It is why I laugh at Nigerian men when they use that line.

You cant use money to win any woman. I know this because I saw someone burn through millions and the babe still cheated on him with poorer dude.

If you use money to start a relationship with a Nigerian girl, she will see you as weak and as someone that she can take advantage of.

bestdudes:
Lmao.. you are funny. So point out where I made a mistake and the girls are not at fault?

Did I ask them for sex or ask them for anything? What will it cost a grown-up adult to be decent in their engagement? At my age? At my age, I would leave any girl alone as soon as I see any indecent attitude or red flag.

Maybe you are the kind that tries to convince yourself that "it is not a problem, continue to try your luck and gets disrespected even further"

Gerrraheree mien

Every girl you meet on the street has one Man or the other.
Any girl that says I got no guy for now is a joker

TheVictorious:
I do not mind at all bro

how do we do it? if you don't mind, can you drop your aza here or your phone number let me text you? I almost missed the mention.

The first two I could understand, but the third, I don't get, in the first engagement you said the girl was boring, you did most of the talking, now on the third, you have someone that was eager to discuss a very voluminous and broad topic that you could use to actively engage her non stop for the next six months, but all you are after is letting her know you are attracted to her, that was too sudden no wonder she came up with one liners. Cultivate friendship bro, you had better chance with the last unless it's kpekus you wanted.

WantsandMore:
I observe you didn't bother to confirm their age, rookie mistake and ought to up game fam. The reason most women go out with men who do not have their interests is because those men have got game & it has nothing to do with with wether or not dey got Ego as in kudi. You have to be ruthless sarcastic when it comes to speaking with women, cos women are always in their imagination & you have to find a way to stimulate that imagination to suite your agenda, call it manipulation or whatever, everyone consciously and unconsciously do it. You have to find balance between humor, been serious and sarcasm with women. That way, you flow to whatever tide you want. Personally, I have turned down proposals from women who aren't virgins and have a body count beyond 5,cos in my experience dey turn out to be emotionally and psychologically unstable in the long run.

Wow, your quotes really boost me, you're real Comrade,you will know how to play woman like Mad, you're twister

jeromestarks:
Mumu Op. Instead of you to all go straight to your point.
Hi girl, you look beautiful.
*Thank you.

Where do u live?
* (She says location or blah blah blah)

I really like the way you look. I will like to date u.
*Ok ( you go ahead and ask for number. Don't do unnecessary call. Call only to arrange location for meeting)

And if she's gave excuse, ask her if u can be FWB.
If she said No. leave her.
If she said Yes. Arrange with her and fvck her.

No time for long story.
You dey dey form man in suit. Ewu like you.

Op, you're bad Comrade,am very sure you should have contact HIV because you most have Bleep tired

Basalt:
I think I am going to adopt this method. I was chatting with a very pretty girl I met on Facebook and somehow got attracted to her. We moved from Facebook to Whatsapp, then she told me of her birthday coming up and complained earlier that her phone was very bad and she might take it to the repairer and might not pick my calls incase she was not with the phone. I was planning on how to surprise her with a brand new samsung phone on her birthday (she uses Techno and it hangs alot).
Then few days to the birthday, I saw her upload a handsome guy on her status and wished him happy birthday with kisses and love emoji (something she never used for me), I jokinly asked her if the guy is her boyfriend and she said YES.
I started withdrawing myself and the communication died off. That was how I wasted my time for 6 months.
I need to start being direct and more straightforward about my intentions.
Honestly, I fell in love with this girl and even planning of marrying her not knowing that she has a boyfriend.

You missed a rather important lesson but you were lucky she slipped and you found out.

All those complaints was a decoy to use you because she has seen you like her. Girls are very manipulative when they sense you are liking them so much, even if you meant well.

Let me give you an example. I used to have this girl that I was liking but didn't go as i would like it so I freed her.

after some months, I said let me just check on this babe and play along. So I did as though I am still interested... she was just being indifferent.

Her birthday came and I didn't even remember because she is no longer of interest to me as I had erased much of the excitement. She is aware that I wished her happy birthday the last time without her reminding me..

Now in this case, I had forgotten and the birthday had passed 1 day. Do you know what this girl did? She decided to buzz me to remind me of her birthday. I mean, it is past. Why remind me about it?

The reason she brought it up is that I would send her something and I made it known that I was coming from an Orphanage home where I went to drop some items for them. I just gave her the "Happy Birthday" that she asked for and let it end there. I am sure she was disappointed, unlike the dude she used to know.

TheVictorious:
I do not mind at all bro

please follow back so that I can send custom message.

bestdudes:
Baba, I do this thing regularly. To you it is a big deal. A piece of information I dropped freely on Nairaland years ago has been helping lives... as hard-working Nigerians took it up and made something out of it. It is not a big deal.

But I understand your point.

I would like to know about digital marketing,can you teach me?

Odebayo4010:
I would like to know about digital marketing,can you teach me?

It is quite a large field bro. what area are you interested in?

bestdudes:
Well, I am an introvert too. And I do answer calls and chat with people. There is something called courtesy.

bro to be sincere with. This Sunday dress neat and go to any big and popular club. Trust me you will see a number of girls popping at you. Provided you are ready to dance and have fun.

Chasing a Nigerian girls doesn’t worth it. 90% of guys dating Nigerian girl’s they all come to the guy themselves. If Nigerian girl doesn’t like you naturally at first you will suffer emotional pains even if you eventually date her. Most guys you see have been dating their girl for years and they have come along way to tolerate one another.

I prefer it when a woman come to me herself you will have little stress to contend but the only problem you will not like them. And this will make you to be doing them anyhow you like.

You see those onces with big ass and high glass they have alot of mumu men that is fueling them with attention and money.

Neat time go to club you will see a woman. For now just forget decent place. They stress you.

olabrinks:
The first girl could’ve just been an introvert. Maybe she doesn’t like phone calls or texts and unnecessary small talk. It’s very draining to some people.

If he's Davido won't she talk to him, silly excuses, most of those ladies on social media rate guys by pictures, background, personality and all that, if they see you don't match they will berate you.

olabrinks:
The first girl could’ve just been an introvert. Maybe she doesn’t like phone calls or texts and unnecessary small talk. It’s very draining to some people.

If he's Davido won't she talk to him, usual excuses, most of those ladies on social media rate guys by pictures, background, personality and all that, if they see you don't match they will berate you.

Dailyparrot:
Whether you want sex from a woman or not, she will definitely play some hard to get tricks immediately you start showing interest in her which is normal. So, backing out from a lady simply because of the flimsy attitudes you described above is extreme.

I guess you are not a player. Real players don't back out easily. Have you wondered why those street urchins tend to get the most beautiful girls? They are patient!

You need some level of patience and tolerance to deal with women. It's those that will differentiate you from the other guys.

In whatever you do with a woman, always define what you want in your mind. That will determine your approach, tolerance level, and quit time.

look at this simp what he just wrote up here. Shame!

fineboynl:
bro to be sincere with. This Sunday dress neat and go to any big and popular club. Trust me you will see a number of girls popping at you. Provided you are ready to dance and have fun.

Chasing a Nigerian girls doesn’t worth it. 90% of guys dating Nigerian girl’s they all come to the guy themselves. If Nigerian girl doesn’t like you naturally at first you will suffer emotional pains even if you eventually date her. Most guys you see have been dating their girl for years and they have come along way to tolerate one another.

I prefer it when a woman come to me herself you will have little stress to contend but the only problem you will not like them. And this will make you to be doing them anyhow you like.

You see those onces with big ass and high glass they have alot of mumu men that is fueling them with attention and money.

Neat time go to club you will see a woman. For now just forget decent place. They stress you.

Hmmm... Thank you.

U meet ur perfect in d 2nd lady but u wia quick to leave. Her asking after money won't make u to run knowing to well she loves u. She wants to make a way she won't come cheap. Go for d second nd thank later

bestdudes:
Lmao.. you are funny. So point out where I made a mistake and the girls are not at fault?

Did I ask them for sex or ask them for anything? What will it cost a grown-up adult to be decent in their engagement? At my age? At my age, I would leave any girl alone as soon as I see any indecent attitude or red flag.

Maybe you are the kind that tries to convince yourself that "it is not a problem, continue to try your luck and gets disrespected even further"

Gerrraheree mien

hw old are dis lady .am sure they around 24 yrs below.