₦airaland Forum

bokondogi:
Hello Nairalanders, I will appreciate your comments and advice on this post

I have been married with 2 grown up kids for more than 2 and half decades, 2 months ago my wife got in contact with one of her secondary school classmate, someone she has lost contact with since they left school 3 decades ago.

So they started calling each other, though my wife told me about him and sometimes they talked on phone in my presence but later my wife will go to her room to talk with the guy, most times in the night.

This calls always excite my wife that I could hear her laughing and I begin to get jealous and I decided to get to know what they usually talk about.

They later moved to chatting on WhatsApp and will be doing call at night. I noticed my wife started making sure her phone isn't within my reach, making sure she didn't leave her phone carelessly. We both know each others phone password, One day I get access to her phone and I open her whatsapp. I noticed that my wife is flirting with the guy, the guy wil be refering to my wife as his wife but my wife usually won't respond to this,
They were exchanging pictures, and admiring each others pictures.

The guy was proffesing love to my wife but wiffy won't reciprocate to this advances.
Once a while I use to check wiffy's phone for any new development, and I find out wiffy use to send both money and airtime for data to the guy (my wife is into a lucrative business and money isn't her problem).

So one day a friend of mine send me a short porn video which I showed to my wife, she requested me to forward it to her, (I was surprised by this her request because she usually frown at porn), I sent it to her on her Facebook messenger instantly, but I was suspicious of what she wanted to do with the porn video. 2 days later she called me that she wanted to send the video to a female friend of her on WhatsApp but she didn't know how to forward the video from messenger platform to whatsapp.

I now forwarded the porn video to her on WhatsApp because I was curious what she wanted to do with the porn video, lol and behold my wife forwarded the video to this guy with a vulgar comment. I can't imagine my wife using the word 'toto', I have never heard this word from her
I now find out that this guy has earlier sent to my wife a porn video which she later deleted. I was shocked by these discoveries. My wife that frowns at obscene words is now using one in a chat with a man and even exchanging porn with him.

Even some gift items I kept in the house, I discovered my wife gifted them to this guy.
After these discoveries, I confront my wife with the evidence but she find it hard to deny and she said that she didn't know what she was doing with the guy was wrong that she didn't know the implications,
She told me she did not have any sexual contact with the guy and she swear about this, but I find it hard to believe, though I didn't find any evidence of this in their chats,
I am heart broken, this is a woman I trust so much,
Though she begged me and told me she won't have contact with the guy again, but I find it hard to believe.

I plan to throw her out. Is this the best decision?

advanceDNA:
Old flame ...
They never die....
20 - 50 years later....they can become an inferno

...this your wife wey don dey send money, dey send pórn....Las las e be like say she go off pant ooo


Just Brace your self.... U can't force an adult from fvcking up if their heart is there ...and it's clear ur wife wants to fvck up with this nigga cos she don fvck the nigga b4..... in addition to all her lies that she doesn't think she was doing any wrong or the implications of her action...

chachanga:
Quarrel openly...

Get family, Church etc involved...

Make sure you have witnesses.

Don't accept her apologies privately. Cheating spouses and manipulative partners are most happy when they're able to take you through cycles of "private-hurt/private-apology" when caught because it hides their guilt, shame and lays foundation for them to continue. It makes them believe they can easily manage or handle you. You don't want to be handled by a manipulative narcissistic cheat.

Get marital counseling where necessary.... You'll be shocked what you'll hear. But committing to the process will yield great results for you.

Do what you can to re-spice your marriage after all your making up. Re-ignite your love, up your dicck game.

It's 2 and half decades of beautiful memories you've made together... Don't let teenagers here tell you to throw her away.

dhoncesar:
She will surely off pant. I'm sure she's been crushing on d guy for yrs... This was what broke my younger sisters home

sniperr007:
Your wife needs adventure... She is search for something you are not giving.

Talk to her her... Else na family meeting go happen

bokondogi:
Hello Nairalanders, I will appreciate your comments and advice on this post

I have been married with 2 grown up kids for more than 2 and half decades, 2 months ago my wife got in contact with one of her secondary school classmate, someone she has lost contact with since they left school 3 decades ago.

So they started calling each other, though my wife told me about him and sometimes they talked on phone in my presence but later my wife will go to her room to talk with the guy, most times in the night.

This calls always excite my wife that I could hear her laughing and I begin to get jealous and I decided to get to know what they usually talk about.

They later moved to chatting on WhatsApp and will be doing call at night. I noticed my wife started making sure her phone isn't within my reach, making sure she didn't leave her phone carelessly. We both know each others phone password, One day I get access to her phone and I open her whatsapp. I noticed that my wife is flirting with the guy, the guy wil be refering to my wife as his wife but my wife usually won't respond to this,
They were exchanging pictures, and admiring each others pictures.

The guy was proffesing love to my wife but wiffy won't reciprocate to this advances.
Once a while I use to check wiffy's phone for any new development, and I find out wiffy use to send both money and airtime for data to the guy (my wife is into a lucrative business and money isn't her problem).

So one day a friend of mine send me a short porn video which I showed to my wife, she requested me to forward it to her, (I was surprised by this her request because she usually frown at porn), I sent it to her on her Facebook messenger instantly, but I was suspicious of what she wanted to do with the porn video. 2 days later she called me that she wanted to send the video to a female friend of her on WhatsApp but she didn't know how to forward the video from messenger platform to whatsapp.

I now forwarded the porn video to her on WhatsApp because I was curious what she wanted to do with the porn video, lol and behold my wife forwarded the video to this guy with a vulgar comment. I can't imagine my wife using the word 'toto', I have never heard this word from her
I now find out that this guy has earlier sent to my wife a porn video which she later deleted. I was shocked by these discoveries. My wife that frowns at obscene words is now using one in a chat with a man and even exchanging porn with him.

Even some gift items I kept in the house, I discovered my wife gifted them to this guy.
After these discoveries, I confront my wife with the evidence but she find it hard to deny and she said that she didn't know what she was doing with the guy was wrong that she didn't know the implications,
She told me she did not have any sexual contact with the guy and she swear about this, but I find it hard to believe, though I didn't find any evidence of this in their chats,
I am heart broken, this is a woman I trust so much,
Though she begged me and told me she won't have contact with the guy again, but I find it hard to believe.

I plan to throw her out. Is this the best decision?

BoboKush:
Unfortunately she won't stop
Rather smarter this tym

ukaface:
So women wey Dey in their 40’s and late 30’s too Dey
Cheat? Them never tire?
Tor! Maybe you no Dey give your wife attention again

Ddworld:
Will you shut up there? You think they are all babies here? Can you dare to throw her out? From your explanation, it is so clear for anyone with brain that she is the bread winner here. The gift she was dsahinh out, who bought them? Mr. Man your last words spoilt everything. Send her packing if you hav the power and stop ranting

Eteka1:
From what i have read, your wife has discipline. The guy almost influenced here totally but your discovery has nipped it in the bud. Don't throw her out. Start tactically reminding her of her principles,Monitor her and you will find out she won't do it again.

bokondogi:
Hello Nairalanders, I will appreciate your comments and advice on this post

I have been married with 2 grown up kids for more than 2 and half decades, 2 months ago my wife got in contact with one of her secondary school classmate, someone she has lost contact with since they left school 3 decades ago.

So they started calling each other, though my wife told me about him and sometimes they talked on phone in my presence but later my wife will go to her room to talk with the guy, most times in the night.

This calls always excite my wife that I could hear her laughing and I begin to get jealous and I decided to get to know what they usually talk about.

They later moved to chatting on WhatsApp and will be doing call at night. I noticed my wife started making sure her phone isn't within my reach, making sure she didn't leave her phone carelessly. We both know each others phone password, One day I get access to her phone and I open her whatsapp. I noticed that my wife is flirting with the guy, the guy wil be refering to my wife as his wife but my wife usually won't respond to this,
They were exchanging pictures, and admiring each others pictures.

The guy was proffesing love to my wife but wiffy won't reciprocate to this advances.
Once a while I use to check wiffy's phone for any new development, and I find out wiffy use to send both money and airtime for data to the guy (my wife is into a lucrative business and money isn't her problem).

So one day a friend of mine send me a short porn video which I showed to my wife, she requested me to forward it to her, (I was surprised by this her request because she usually frown at porn), I sent it to her on her Facebook messenger instantly, but I was suspicious of what she wanted to do with the porn video. 2 days later she called me that she wanted to send the video to a female friend of her on WhatsApp but she didn't know how to forward the video from messenger platform to whatsapp.

I now forwarded the porn video to her on WhatsApp because I was curious what she wanted to do with the porn video, lol and behold my wife forwarded the video to this guy with a vulgar comment. I can't imagine my wife using the word 'toto', I have never heard this word from her
I now find out that this guy has earlier sent to my wife a porn video which she later deleted. I was shocked by these discoveries. My wife that frowns at obscene words is now using one in a chat with a man and even exchanging porn with him.

Even some gift items I kept in the house, I discovered my wife gifted them to this guy.
After these discoveries, I confront my wife with the evidence but she find it hard to deny and she said that she didn't know what she was doing with the guy was wrong that she didn't know the implications,
She told me she did not have any sexual contact with the guy and she swear about this, but I find it hard to believe, though I didn't find any evidence of this in their chats,
I am heart broken, this is a woman I trust so much,
Though she begged me and told me she won't have contact with the guy again, but I find it hard to believe.

I plan to throw her out. Is this the best decision?

immortalcrown:
More than two and half decades and your marriage is still like this?

This story is not complete. Show your wife this post and let her tell her side of the story. Then, I can say something. I say this because I wonder what led to your friend sending you porn, you that have spent more than 2 decades in marriage. This seems to be a case of a pot calling a kettle black.

He that comes to equity should come with clean hands.

bokondogi:
Hello Nairalanders, I will appreciate your comments and advice on this post

I have been married with 2 grown up kids for more than 2 and half decades, 2 months ago my wife got in contact with one of her secondary school classmate, someone she has lost contact with since they left school 3 decades ago.

So they started calling each other, though my wife told me about him and sometimes they talked on phone in my presence but later my wife will go to her room to talk with the guy, most times in the night.

This calls always excite my wife that I could hear her laughing and I begin to get jealous and I decided to get to know what they usually talk about.

They later moved to chatting on WhatsApp and will be doing call at night. I noticed my wife started making sure her phone isn't within my reach, making sure she didn't leave her phone carelessly. We both know each others phone password, One day I get access to her phone and I open her whatsapp. I noticed that my wife is flirting with the guy, the guy wil be refering to my wife as his wife but my wife usually won't respond to this,
They were exchanging pictures, and admiring each others pictures.

The guy was proffesing love to my wife but wiffy won't reciprocate to this advances.
Once a while I use to check wiffy's phone for any new development, and I find out wiffy use to send both money and airtime for data to the guy (my wife is into a lucrative business and money isn't her problem).

So one day a friend of mine send me a short porn video which I showed to my wife, she requested me to forward it to her, (I was surprised by this her request because she usually frown at porn), I sent it to her on her Facebook messenger instantly, but I was suspicious of what she wanted to do with the porn video. 2 days later she called me that she wanted to send the video to a female friend of her on WhatsApp but she didn't know how to forward the video from messenger platform to whatsapp.

I now forwarded the porn video to her on WhatsApp because I was curious what she wanted to do with the porn video, lol and behold my wife forwarded the video to this guy with a vulgar comment. I can't imagine my wife using the word 'toto', I have never heard this word from her
I now find out that this guy has earlier sent to my wife a porn video which she later deleted. I was shocked by these discoveries. My wife that frowns at obscene words is now using one in a chat with a man and even exchanging porn with him.

Even some gift items I kept in the house, I discovered my wife gifted them to this guy.
After these discoveries, I confront my wife with the evidence but she find it hard to deny and she said that she didn't know what she was doing with the guy was wrong that she didn't know the implications,
She told me she did not have any sexual contact with the guy and she swear about this, but I find it hard to believe, though I didn't find any evidence of this in their chats,
I am heart broken, this is a woman I trust so much,
Though she begged me and told me she won't have contact with the guy again, but I find it hard to believe.

I plan to throw her out. Is this the best decision?

nnamdiosu:
Sir, you can dm me for counselling.
Kindly disregard the immature posts here.

I see you are very hurt on as much as you love her very much. Your marriage, nevertheless, is still a wonderful one , that should/will still be an inspiration to other young couples coming up. Just breath, it's gonna be fine.

Dm me let's talk

bokondogi:
Hello Nairalanders, I will appreciate your comments and advice on this post

I have been married with 2 grown up kids for more than 2 and half decades, 2 months ago my wife got in contact with one of her secondary school classmate, someone she has lost contact with since they left school 3 decades ago.

So they started calling each other, though my wife told me about him and sometimes they talked on phone in my presence but later my wife will go to her room to talk with the guy, most times in the night.

This calls always excite my wife that I could hear her laughing and I begin to get jealous and I decided to get to know what they usually talk about.

They later moved to chatting on WhatsApp and will be doing call at night. I noticed my wife started making sure her phone isn't within my reach, making sure she didn't leave her phone carelessly. We both know each others phone password, One day I get access to her phone and I open her whatsapp. I noticed that my wife is flirting with the guy, the guy wil be refering to my wife as his wife but my wife usually won't respond to this,
They were exchanging pictures, and admiring each others pictures.

The guy was proffesing love to my wife but wiffy won't reciprocate to this advances.
Once a while I use to check wiffy's phone for any new development, and I find out wiffy use to send both money and airtime for data to the guy (my wife is into a lucrative business and money isn't her problem).

So one day a friend of mine send me a short porn video which I showed to my wife, she requested me to forward it to her, (I was surprised by this her request because she usually frown at porn), I sent it to her on her Facebook messenger instantly, but I was suspicious of what she wanted to do with the porn video. 2 days later she called me that she wanted to send the video to a female friend of her on WhatsApp but she didn't know how to forward the video from messenger platform to whatsapp.

I now forwarded the porn video to her on WhatsApp because I was curious what she wanted to do with the porn video, lol and behold my wife forwarded the video to this guy with a vulgar comment. I can't imagine my wife using the word 'toto', I have never heard this word from her
I now find out that this guy has earlier sent to my wife a porn video which she later deleted. I was shocked by these discoveries. My wife that frowns at obscene words is now using one in a chat with a man and even exchanging porn with him.

Even some gift items I kept in the house, I discovered my wife gifted them to this guy.
After these discoveries, I confront my wife with the evidence but she find it hard to deny and she said that she didn't know what she was doing with the guy was wrong that she didn't know the implications,
She told me she did not have any sexual contact with the guy and she swear about this, but I find it hard to believe, though I didn't find any evidence of this in their chats,
I am heart broken, this is a woman I trust so much,
Though she begged me and told me she won't have contact with the guy again, but I find it hard to believe.

I plan to throw her out. Is this the best decision?

siofra:
Everytime Germany this, Germany that. Are you the only Nigerian in Germany

Ybaby:


O ya so pe o ti lo.... shes gone!!!

Ok sorry! on a serious note, your wife is walking in the shadow of iniquity.

She is trying to find her youth again with this her golddigger class mate and it is very foolish of her.

She should delete the guy's phone no and both of you head to therapy.

dontrulee:
For you to type this at 3:44am shows how pained you're.

If you read ubanja's post about how good girls fall for bad boys, you'll understand better.

Every girl has both a good side and a bad side.
This knowledge unfortunately has made me explore the bad sides of most females both physically and online.

Many ladies that appear good are very bad inside, they're just waiting for a bad guy to touch them and make them express themselves.

I know this from experience, many ladies have told me that I am a bad guy but they can't leave me because their boyfriends is very boring and I am very exciting.

After a while, marriage will get boring with time. The bad boys will exploit this if you're not watchful and vigilant especially over your wife.

It's a very crazy cycle and I pray you don't experience it, only few ladies, very few ladies are chaste up to 70%. You see the remaining, they're either just pretending or they don't have the opportunity to express themselves yet!!

Haaaa, my Mom's friend a good and virtuous woman, one who taught many the way of God and married a virgin even almost fell into the trap, from that moment I knew that no one can be 100% tested and trusted.

Many ladies message me about how bad some of their boyfriends treat them and yet they can't still leave them! And the simple reason is because their bad side is resonating with the bad side of the bad guy.

Most ladies just want to catch fun and vibe, they follow their feelings more than their logic.

It's very funny how once, I was chatting with my ex and she was requesting for a breakup or a space and within five minutes, she was requesting I updated my Facebook profile to show that I am in a relationship with her, this was someone requesting for a breakup few minutes ago. To test my theory, I updated my profile to show that I'm in a relationship with her only for her to tell me that she can't confirm the relationship because she's scared and that she didn't want some of her friends to mock her that the relationship wouldn't work bla bla bla. This makes me to understand to an extent that most ladies don't know what they want!

Haaa, ladies don't know what they want most times, as a man, you're the driver! When I was still a top notch bad boy, I can video a very "SU" sister, we will have fellowship or devotion together, study the word of God and even pray together for like two/three hours only for me to turn the conversation sexual and the lady will be moaning for me on phone. Is this not the lady that was fired up praying few moments ago?? I have done this with more than 100 ladies who claim to be sexual Puritans many of them are virgins but with the right tools, any lady can become vulnerable to you! I have done some really crazy things in the past but thank God I am repented now.

Good ladies find it exciting to fix bad guys, it turns them on. Ladies will claim they don't fight over men, they want to be the only one but all ladies I have dated have always asked me, "how are your concubines, my rivals doing"? Some have even confessed to me that I like it as you're baba for the girls, they'll say, I hate a guy that has multiple girlfriends but I like you that have many girls around you! Does that not show that ladies are confused?

Marrying is tough job. Fortunately for me, my parents are very opened, they've passed through many stages in their marriage and it makes me wow at how opened such people are towards each other! Anyone in the house can access their phones at any time, they talk about sex freely and liberally, they'll tell you the right path and still tell you that you can choose the wrong path but can you bear the consequences? They're marriage counsellors and they paint and give scenarios of marriage situations they face everytime. They're open about their strength and weaknesses. They make marriage so sweet and interesting!

The solution for you Op is to be a bad boy to your wife! Women love to hear bad things especially if it's coming from a man they Love.

I hope this my long write up helps someone. Thank you.

bokondogi:
Hello Nairalanders, I will appreciate your comments and advice on this post

I have been married with 2 grown up kids for more than 2 and half decades, 2 months ago my wife got in contact with one of her secondary school classmate, someone she has lost contact with since they left school 3 decades ago.

So they started calling each other, though my wife told me about him and sometimes they talked on phone in my presence but later my wife will go to her room to talk with the guy, most times in the night.

This calls always excite my wife that I could hear her laughing and I begin to get jealous and I decided to get to know what they usually talk about.

They later moved to chatting on WhatsApp and will be doing call at night. I noticed my wife started making sure her phone isn't within my reach, making sure she didn't leave her phone carelessly. We both know each others phone password, One day I get access to her phone and I open her whatsapp. I noticed that my wife is flirting with the guy, the guy wil be refering to my wife as his wife but my wife usually won't respond to this,
They were exchanging pictures, and admiring each others pictures.

The guy was proffesing love to my wife but wiffy won't reciprocate to this advances.
Once a while I use to check wiffy's phone for any new development, and I find out wiffy use to send both money and airtime for data to the guy (my wife is into a lucrative business and money isn't her problem).

So one day a friend of mine send me a short porn video which I showed to my wife, she requested me to forward it to her, (I was surprised by this her request because she usually frown at porn), I sent it to her on her Facebook messenger instantly, but I was suspicious of what she wanted to do with the porn video. 2 days later she called me that she wanted to send the video to a female friend of her on WhatsApp but she didn't know how to forward the video from messenger platform to whatsapp.

I now forwarded the porn video to her on WhatsApp because I was curious what she wanted to do with the porn video, lol and behold my wife forwarded the video to this guy with a vulgar comment. I can't imagine my wife using the word 'toto', I have never heard this word from her
I now find out that this guy has earlier sent to my wife a porn video which she later deleted. I was shocked by these discoveries. My wife that frowns at obscene words is now using one in a chat with a man and even exchanging porn with him.

Even some gift items I kept in the house, I discovered my wife gifted them to this guy.
After these discoveries, I confront my wife with the evidence but she find it hard to deny and she said that she didn't know what she was doing with the guy was wrong that she didn't know the implications,
She told me she did not have any sexual contact with the guy and she swear about this, but I find it hard to believe, though I didn't find any evidence of this in their chats,
I am heart broken, this is a woman I trust so much,
Though she begged me and told me she won't have contact with the guy again, but I find it hard to believe.

I plan to throw her out. Is this the best decision?

dalass:
How did the OP get porn and from which friend? That he knows the wife detests...

He probably doesn't fancy her anymore and she's got a new admirer/ old acquaintance who makes her feel wanted.

Because he sees she has someone wanting what he had lost interest in, he's green with envy

TheRareGem1:
Two and half decades is such a long time. Try and manage the situation for the sake of your children. It hurts really but your wife is your wife.