₦airaland Forum

Lummoni:
I hop someone will be able to assist.
So my Aunt is a South African woman who was married to a Nigerian man she met in South Africa.

They had a child & when he turned 9 months her husband suggested they visit his family in Nigeria.

A few hours before leaving for the airport back to South Africa, his parents sat her down and told her the baby would have to stay.

After many words & tears her father in law and husband assured her that he would be back in a 6 months to fetch the baby.

True to his word, 6 months later my Uncle in law returned to Nigeria to fetch his children, but 2 days after he arrived he got seriously sick & passed on a few days later.

My Aunt traveled to Nigeria to lay him to rest & had to extend her stay because her in laws kept giving her the run around about why she couldn't take her child (apparently some rituals had to be done for the child since his father had just passed).

She eventually left after her father in law warned her that if she keeps pushing, they (his wife a daughter) would do to her what was done to her husband.

Fast forward 11 years later, her father in law, & mother in law are both late, she sends money to Nigeria every month for her sons upkeep but her sister in law is withholding the child, does not allow him to communicate with her.

When a neighbor tries to let him speak with his mother, they beat him up, sometimes he doesn't go to school and has to go sell water at the market.

My Aunt has tried going with the Nigerian police but failed, has involved the Nigerian embassy but they are dragging their feet. We really do not know what else to do.

Why would they withholding someone's child (a mother who desperately wants her child back) when they can't even take care of his needs.

Maybe someone has been through a similar experience and may be able to help with suggestions of how to get the child back to his mother.

Classic nollywood movie...
But this has rite of passage written all over it...
Husband might have been an occultist or juju worship who has now consecrated his son to his juju thus the deaths

mrblessed:
Nothing is more brainless and even pathetic than your poor and impotent grasp of the English language. First, only a dunce uses "tribe" when she means "ethnic group." Even if one closes his eyes to your illiterate advertisement of a disesteem term, what of your calamitous misuse of concord/agreement? Aunt, "tribe" as used in your poorly written post is a singular word and not a plural word.

Easy ooo....Lol

Daniel058:
if the Man paid Lobola , then the child belong to the man and his family, that's Igbo tradition (assuming the late husband was from Igbo tribe)

The man is late, the man's parents are both late now too, what greater right has the late man's sister to the child (using him to sell pure water) when the biological mother is alive and ready to take better care of her child is the issue at hand?

Odward:
Forget about the child and conceive a new one na

Pls don't make any baby(ies) for now...
You don't have the heart of a good parent yet o.

Odward:
Forget about the child and conceive a new one na

You're senseless, heartless and full of shit.

E2000:
All this one sided stories anyway if I were the one you are not getting that child or children. It is what it is I can't explain why. Blood is thicker than water. You can come visit but that's it. If you want to take them come and rent a house in Nigeria and pretend like you really love the country and want to settle there. Then request for your children to come and visit you or stay with you then run away with them back to your country.

Blood is thicker than water kee you there.

So whose blood should be more thicker? Those who did not give birth to the child or the mom who have birth to the child?

Why would anyone do this to anyone, depriving the mother from seeing her child after the demise of his father.

Your sis ought to have contacted the likes of Berekete, FIDA, write letters to Nigerian and South African Embassy, get a lawyer, and contact the FORCE HQ in FCT. When the commissioner of Police gets a call from FCT, he would be forced to act immediately, even the family people would release the child immediately to the mother.

Lummoni:
I hop someone will be able to assist.
So my Aunt is a South African woman who was married to a Nigerian man she met in South Africa.

They had a child & when he turned 9 months her husband suggested they visit his family in Nigeria.

A few hours before leaving for the airport back to South Africa, his parents sat her down and told her the baby would have to stay.

After many words & tears her father in law and husband assured her that he would be back in a 6 months to fetch the baby.

True to his word, 6 months later my Uncle in law returned to Nigeria to fetch his children, but 2 days after he arrived he got seriously sick & passed on a few days later.

My Aunt traveled to Nigeria to lay him to rest & had to extend her stay because her in laws kept giving her the run around about why she couldn't take her child (apparently some rituals had to be done for the child since his father had just passed).

She eventually left after her father in law warned her that if she keeps pushing, they (his wife a daughter) would do to her what was done to her husband.

Fast forward 11 years later, her father in law, & mother in law are both late, she sends money to Nigeria every month for her sons upkeep but her sister in law is withholding the child, does not allow him to communicate with her.

When a neighbor tries to let him speak with his mother, they beat him up, sometimes he doesn't go to school and has to go sell water at the market.

My Aunt has tried going with the Nigerian police but failed, has involved the Nigerian embassy but they are dragging their feet. We really do not know what else to do.

Why would they withholding someone's child (a mother who desperately wants her child back) when they can't even take care of his needs.

Maybe someone has been through a similar experience and may be able to help with suggestions of how to get the child back to his mother.

Your aunty should contact recognised human rights defenders.

careidon:
The man is late, the man's parents are both late now too, what greater right has the late man's sister to the child ([b]using him to sell pure water) [/b]when the biological mother is alive and ready to take better care of her child is the issue at hand?

Not Fair

meetme01:
It is a social welfare issue. If you read to the end, the legal authority on welfare matters is the family court. Before going to court, all other resolution means must have been tried. If it fails, the court will do the needful.

Not necessarily true.. the mom is the primary custodian.. so the extended family is keeping the baby without his mother’s consent. We’re talking about legal custody here not welfare. Dont get it mixed up

BigIyanga:
Not necessarily true.. the mom is the primary custodian.. so the extended family is keeping the baby without his mother’s consent. We’re talking about legal custody here not welfare. Dont get it mixed up

Legal custody is handled by the family court. Probation officers (welfare officers) are like lawyers in this court. Registered lawyers rarely hold briefs for clients in this court.

To get custody of a child, the welfare officer will take charge. Not lawyers, nor police or anyone but social workers in the Welfare Agency.

Lummoni:
I hop someone will be able to assist.
So my Aunt is a South African woman who was married to a Nigerian man she met in South Africa.

They had a child & when he turned 9 months her husband suggested they visit his family in Nigeria.

A few hours before leaving for the airport back to South Africa, his parents sat her down and told her the baby would have to stay.

After many words & tears her father in law and husband assured her that he would be back in a 6 months to fetch the baby.

True to his word, 6 months later my Uncle in law returned to Nigeria to fetch his children, but 2 days after he arrived he got seriously sick & passed on a few days later.

My Aunt traveled to Nigeria to lay him to rest & had to extend her stay because her in laws kept giving her the run around about why she couldn't take her child (apparently some rituals had to be done for the child since his father had just passed).

She eventually left after her father in law warned her that if she keeps pushing, they (his wife a daughter) would do to her what was done to her husband.

Fast forward 11 years later, her father in law, & mother in law are both late, she sends money to Nigeria every month for her sons upkeep but her sister in law is withholding the child, does not allow him to communicate with her.

When a neighbor tries to let him speak with his mother, they beat him up, sometimes he doesn't go to school and has to go sell water at the market.

My Aunt has tried going with the Nigerian police but failed, has involved the Nigerian embassy but they are dragging their feet. We really do not know what else to do.

Why would they withholding someone's child (a mother who desperately wants her child back) when they can't even take care of his needs.

Maybe someone has been through a similar experience and may be able to help with suggestions of how to get the child back to his mother.

This is a child custody matter which can be resolved in court... Which state is the child in question.

Kindly reach out (08060672567) for advise

Lummoni:
I hop someone will be able to assist.
So my Aunt is a South African woman who was married to a Nigerian man she met in South Africa.

They had a child & when he turned 9 months her husband suggested they visit his family in Nigeria.

A few hours before leaving for the airport back to South Africa, his parents sat her down and told her the baby would have to stay.

After many words & tears her father in law and husband assured her that he would be back in a 6 months to fetch the baby.

True to his word, 6 months later my Uncle in law returned to Nigeria to fetch his children, but 2 days after he arrived he got seriously sick & passed on a few days later.

My Aunt traveled to Nigeria to lay him to rest & had to extend her stay because her in laws kept giving her the run around about why she couldn't take her child (apparently some rituals had to be done for the child since his father had just passed).

She eventually left after her father in law warned her that if she keeps pushing, they (his wife a daughter) would do to her what was done to her husband.

Fast forward 11 years later, her father in law, & mother in law are both late, she sends money to Nigeria every month for her sons upkeep but her sister in law is withholding the child, does not allow him to communicate with her.

When a neighbor tries to let him speak with his mother, they beat him up, sometimes he doesn't go to school and has to go sell water at the market.

My Aunt has tried going with the Nigerian police but failed, has involved the Nigerian embassy but they are dragging their feet. We really do not know what else to do.

Why would they withholding someone's child (a mother who desperately wants her child back) when they can't even take care of his needs.

Maybe someone has been through a similar experience and may be able to help with suggestions of how to get the child back to his mother.

She should sue them through Justice court"online court" They will summon them to appear in the court,she should apply online and search for Justice Court

meetme01:
There is still no way you deal with custody issues if you don't involve social welfare services. As I said, the general public needs proper sensitization on social welfare services. If custody will be awarded to any party, there must be an agreement which is the memorandum of understanding and if it cannot be resolved, social welfare will refer them to the family court. After adjudication, the social welfare services will still write to the South African Embassy on the outcome to proof the mother has been awarded full/partial custody. SA will use this to process the subject's travelling document to leave Nigeria.

The first step remains to involve the social welfare department in the state.


Bolded..says who? Don't be judgemental. Because you read the case here does not mean that is the fact. Experience has revealed that everyone is a saint in every issue until proven otherwise. Let her come forward with facts, she will be heard without bias.

Judgmental;? Okay, share on what basis can an extended family member have custody of a child that has at least one birth parent alive?

Mindlog:
Judgmental;? Okay, share on what basis can an extended family member have custody of a child that has at least one birth parent alive?

In many scenarios, the extended family can take custody of the subject. I would not want to divulge because, I'd be intruding on OP's privacy.

However, for learning purpose, there is a principle in social work called [/b]-self individualization-[b] every case can never be the same no matter how closely related hence, they should be treated differently. Every case has its own intervention and resolution. That's why I said, until you bring both parties together, you can never be too sure why the extended family have the custody of the subject.

Yes, it is wrong especially when the subject is a minor but due to some reasons known to both parties, the custody is with the extended family. I can assure you, if this case gets to the social welfare agency, it will be resolved in less than 24rs after the joint sessionn

meetme01:
In many scenarios, the extended family can take custody of the subject. I would not want to divulge because, I'd be intruding on OP's privacy.

However, for learning purpose, there is a principle in social work called [/b]-self individualization-[b] every case can never be the same no matter how closely related hence, they should be treated differently. Every case has its own intervention and resolution. That's why I said, until you bring both parties together, you can never be too sure why the extended family have the custody of the subject.

Yes, it is wrong especially when the subject is a minor but due to some reasons known to both parties, the custody is with the extended family. I can assure you, if this case gets to the social welfare agency, it will be resolved in less than 24rs after the joint sessionn

List some of these scenarios where the birth mother is still alive without reference to OP's case.

Mindlog:
List some of these scenarios where the birth mother is still alive without reference to OP's case.

When the mother is deemed to be unfit (medically or non-medical)

Verbal agreement by either parties due to reasons best know to them.

Coercion

Circumstances beyond the mother ( for example -want to get married and the new husband says, he cannot train another person's child, change of environment and the child c an hindrance at the beginning with the hope of coming back to pick up etc)

Etc

it's very sad one, this is the problem of inter-tribal and international marriages the family believes that if they don't take the child from the mother since their son is dead they might end up not seeing the child forever and I know it must be a male child.

the only problem is that they aren't taking care of him, and the child might be the only male in the family.

your sister should make an agreement with the family through court, it will be a hard one.

if she has custody of the child, she will make the child forget about his history and identity, which might be the family's stand point.

Lummoni:
I hop someone will be able to assist.
So my Aunt is a South African woman who was married to a Nigerian man she met in South Africa.

They had a child & when he turned 9 months her husband suggested they visit his family in Nigeria.

A few hours before leaving for the airport back to South Africa, his parents sat her down and told her the baby would have to stay.

After many words & tears her father in law and husband assured her that he would be back in a 6 months to fetch the baby.

True to his word, 6 months later my Uncle in law returned to Nigeria to fetch his children, but 2 days after he arrived he got seriously sick & passed on a few days later.

My Aunt traveled to Nigeria to lay him to rest & had to extend her stay because her in laws kept giving her the run around about why she couldn't take her child (apparently some rituals had to be done for the child since his father had just passed).

She eventually left after her father in law warned her that if she keeps pushing, they (his wife a daughter) would do to her what was done to her husband.

Fast forward 11 years later, her father in law, & mother in law are both late, she sends money to Nigeria every month for her sons upkeep but her sister in law is withholding the child, does not allow him to communicate with her.

When a neighbor tries to let him speak with his mother, they beat him up, sometimes he doesn't go to school and has to go sell water at the market.

My Aunt has tried going with the Nigerian police but failed, has involved the Nigerian embassy but they are dragging their feet. We really do not know what else to do.

Why would they withholding someone's child (a mother who desperately wants her child back) when they can't even take care of his needs.

Maybe someone has been through a similar experience and may be able to help with suggestions of how to get the child back to his mother.

Your english no too let me understand this story. But from the little i understand she needs to go get her child by fire or force.

sisisioge:
Another way I would do it is.....I would come to Nigeria unannounced with some company. Stalk the family until they send the boy to go and sell pure water, then take him straight to the airport and straight to SA. I hope he has a passport. They stole him, I steal him back. Infact, I steal him back shortly after his father's demise a long time ago.

As simple as ABC.

Abeg, she should just kidnap her children. I fear that if she tries legally, she might end up with dead kids on her hand. its an odd world in Nigeria, where you see a sister cannot even carry her younger brother from her relatives, for whatever reason - like they looked after the child so the lady has to pay them back. So many funny things. Or a woman can't carry her kids from her in laws because the husband who is far away did not give permission. The part I have not understood in most of these stories is how the relatives would turn the child to a street hawker?! Child of their own relative?

The story is still sketchy, though it is bad to forcefully take a child. But I have an experience with someone I know who had a child with a South African woman, His attempt to get the custody of the child have proved abortive only because the child is like a cash cow for the SA Lady aided by her mother too, mind you the lady also has 2 different kids with other SA men, but the 9ja guy dey do well pass dem, the child support the guy pays is supposedly used to train other kids.

I pray the South African Lady finds justice. Since the hubby is no more it is easy to take the sole custody.

LilMissFavvy:
I cannot understand how a mother would be alive and healthy, yet allow her son to be held captive by her late husband's relatives.

The Aunty and husband been they ment or they use juju hold them, why you go leave your 9month old in another's custody no be crase be that.

My name is Alfred Olufemi, a journalist with Punch Newspaper. I'll really like to help. You can send your phone number to Aolufemi@punchng.com or call 08144249797.

Lummoni:
I hop someone will be able to assist.
So my Aunt is a South African woman who was married to a Nigerian man she met in South Africa.

They had a child & when he turned 9 months her husband suggested they visit his family in Nigeria.

A few hours before leaving for the airport back to South Africa, his parents sat her down and told her the baby would have to stay.

After many words & tears her father in law and husband assured her that he would be back in a 6 months to fetch the baby.

True to his word, 6 months later my Uncle in law returned to Nigeria to fetch his children, but 2 days after he arrived he got seriously sick & passed on a few days later.

My Aunt traveled to Nigeria to lay him to rest & had to extend her stay because her in laws kept giving her the run around about why she couldn't take her child (apparently some rituals had to be done for the child since his father had just passed).

She eventually left after her father in law warned her that if she keeps pushing, they (his wife a daughter) would do to her what was done to her husband.

Fast forward 11 years later, her father in law, & mother in law are both late, she sends money to Nigeria every month for her sons upkeep but her sister in law is withholding the child, does not allow him to communicate with her.

When a neighbor tries to let him speak with his mother, they beat him up, sometimes he doesn't go to school and has to go sell water at the market.

My Aunt has tried going with the Nigerian police but failed, has involved the Nigerian embassy but they are dragging their feet. We really do not know what else to do.

Why would they withholding someone's child (a mother who desperately wants her child back) when they can't even take care of his needs.

Maybe someone has been through a similar experience and may be able to help with suggestions of how to get the child back to his mother.

True

caesymore:
The Aunty and husband been they ment or they use juju hold them, why you go leave your 9month old in another's custody no be crase be that.

This is not acceptable in the court of law. These traditions are primitive and were made by misogynists or men who may not have been mentally stable, okay? As long as the mother is alive, she will have custody of the child.

Daniel058:
if the Man paid Lobola , then the child belong to the man and his family, that's Igbo tradition (assuming the late husband was from Igbo tribe)

culf:
OK, hope you were not overstressed? enjoy you rest but I'm angry with you.

Chinny024:

who are you winking for, you're not my friend again ooo, I told you I'm angry with you.

#Hope you're good though?

kansoboy:
I understand if your father is d old drunk in the village...I also understand if Ur family do not have any exposed or educated person to get a lawyer too the defend their own point......u open Urouth waawwwwwwwww to vomit rubbish.

Do you know their is what is recognised in this country as customary laws and jurisdiction?
No dey fool Urself, no be only Ur family be d whole lawyers or judges in this country

Always folks like u who are bereft of how things work legally that want to expose their ignorance. Kidnapping and child endangerment laws are what we’re talking.
I’d love to see folks like you in court because of sophisticated ignorance.
What a product of calcified konji

LilMissFavvy:
This is not acceptable in the court of law. These traditions are primitive and were made by misogynists or men who may not have been mentally stable, okay? As long as the mother is alive, she will have custody of the child.

okay

Hello lummoni, kindly send me a mail with your contact via olufemidamilola36@gmail.com

You will be contacted and it will be taken up by the media.

I look forward to you mail. Thank you.

Thank you, I'll send an email shortly. Just responding to comments here first.

Oluwadamilola36:
Hello lummoni, kindly send me a mail with your contact via olufemidamilola36@gmail.com

You will be contacted and it will be taken up by the media.

I look forward to you mail. Thank you.