[quote author=BRATISLAVA post=118708199]Aren't Nigerian men angels anymore?

You don't know they're always abducting children whenever family disputes arise, because they believe they own the children more than the children's mothers do?
Many don't look before leaping.

Please which country are you from ?

Indisputably Nigerian men are the best . Just call your country.

I don't believe this story in full. Many things were added to build emotions around it. I'm not carried away.

You left a baby 9 months in Nigeria and went back to SA. What a mother?

Please say your country.

BRATISLAVA:


It mostly is. "My children" rather than "our children". Same mentality his family are displaying. They believe men own the children.

In Nigeria..men own d children.....no debating about it...even if d woman should train d child, it is still men that own the child. Except if d child is a bastard. Woman can own d bastard

Call brekete family

sphinixs2:


She needs to put the law in motion in South Africa. Let there be a judgment stating the boy is hers, attach the birth certificate. She would bring the South African judgment to Nigeria which would be registered as a foreign judgment here to be adopted by a Nigerian Court as its own judgment- this registration should be done in the state where the child is being held by the Inlaws. The Nigerian Court having adopted the foreign judgment can commence enforcement which would involve the court baliff and the police. I see the in laws holding the child as a means of extortion... They can't keep a child away from his mother most especially as he is still a minor. I hope this helps.

Stop advising rubbish. Which South Africa shoild she start. She comes down....do a DNA test and thats it.

You go just dey make comments on matters you dont know. A beg....dont give any suggestions when you are ignorant of it. Lef peoppe who can help talk. Imagine..he is tslking of birth certificate. Lol.

She comes, do a DNA test...and enforce it here. First, take the child out of their custody, find him a good school. If they allow her take her out immediately...fine...if not...the child sgargs a good school here. And the next is to deal with the people. Yes, so they can not come out again. They will pay for every dollar they have recieved. Yes, i will make them sell their properties to pay and the balance...they will pay by going to jail. I wont mind spending to destroy them. Who dem be?

A beg, no dey advise what you know nothing about.

Tobilols:
Please send me a message tobiasipa@gmail.com, I need to talk to you. Very important. Your Aunty will get her son back. What God cannot do does not exist.

Another 419. What do you want to say via email you cannot say here? Barawo.

Kobonaire234:


It is very common, and happens worldwide. Infact, I won't be surprised if there are Nigerians who have not seen their children born in other countries.

There is even an international convention on the matter...a lot of countries have signed up to the thing.

And what is the international convention law Mr Law. Una go just dey write rubbish. If you dont know about it, shut the crap up. Dont confuse the victim asking for help.

kansoboy:


In Nigeria..men own d children.....no debating about it...even if d woman should train d child, it is still men that own the child. Except if d child is a bastard. Woman can own d bastard

Men do not "own" the children, children bear the names of their fathers, men identified by their mothers as their fathers because a woman ultimately decides who the father is.

You can't go to any Nigerian court, to claim custody of a child on the basis that you "own" the child rather the court would make you pay for the upkeep of the child while under the physical care and custody of the mother

Nairaland and mad*men. This one is toxic and mad. You will move naked* on the streets, cuz that's where you belong. Your brain cells died* long ago, that's why you think you can read and understand better than me. Do you know the number of people who saw themselves in the OP's situation yet fought to get their child? I can't understand how a mother can be sleeping peacefully daily, while her child is suffering.

Midastorch:


You are a fool, it's either you're plainly stupid or you lack the ability to read and comprehend

PeaceJoyLove:

You no well. You are not ok with this your useless and disgusting advice. I am sure you are the kind of people who kidnap children cos they are first sons. I like this case cos I like jailing people like you. Yes...you will say the meaning of witholding a child who is not yours cos of first born.

Mind you...you will refund all the money you have collected. Very useless thing. You need to be beaten.

You can rant for all I care, that is not my biz...I assure one thing, as far as this boy is in Nigeria , you can. And will never take that boy out of Nigeria. That is what I will assure u... First u lied when u said d grandfather basis he will do Tobi what he did to the husband.

But be rest assured u are fooling Urself, if u think u can take d boy away. If u are a Nigerian, go and ask Ur father who owns d child

Lummoni:
I hop someone will be able to assist.
So my Aunt is a South African woman who was married to a Nigerian man she met in South Africa.

They had a child & when he turned 9 months her husband suggested they visit his family in Nigeria.

A few hours before leaving for the airport back to South Africa, his parents sat her down and told her the baby would have to stay.

After many words & tears her father in law and husband assured her that he would be back in a 6 months to fetch the baby.

True to his word, 6 months later my Uncle in law returned to Nigeria to fetch his children, but 2 days after he arrived he got seriously sick & passed on a few days later.

My Aunt traveled to Nigeria to lay him to rest & had to extend her stay because her in laws kept giving her the run around about why she couldn't take her child (apparently some rituals had to be done for the child since his father had just passed).

She eventually left after her father in law warned her that if she keeps pushing, they (his wife a daughter) would do to her what was done to her husband.

Fast forward 11 years later, her father in law, & mother in law are both late, she sends money to Nigeria every month for her sons upkeep but her sister in law is withholding the child, does not allow him to communicate with her.

When a neighbor tries to let him speak with his mother, they beat him up, sometimes he doesn't go to school and has to go sell water at the market.

My Aunt has tried going with the Nigerian police but failed, has involved the Nigerian embassy but they are dragging their feet. We really do not know what else to do.

Why would they withholding someone's child (a mother who desperately wants her child back) when they can't even take care of his needs.

Maybe someone has been through a similar experience and may be able to help with suggestions of how to get the child back to his mother.

People don't know social welfare departments in State are working due to non-challant attitude of civil servants coupled with a lack of proper communication between the general public and the government.

Visit any social welfare office nearest to you, insist you want to see the Director. Explain your predicament. A joint session will be called between parties where an amicable solution will be raised with more emphasis on the child. Afterwards, parties will sign a memorandum of understanding and if parties don't agree on terms, they will be referred to the family court for adjudication. The case comes to a close.

Police rarely involve themselves in social welfare issues.

kansoboy:
I want to be factual with you, and not emotional or sentimental.
This is Nigeria and worst eastern Nigeria where they do not play with their male child.if u push hard to take that boy away as the mother out of this country and knowing well that once you take that boy away, they will never see him again. Madam no family will let that happen, forget many ppl that will tell you bla bla bla.

My sincere advice to your aunt is this.....leave the boy ,but established a strong communication with him and let him know you are the mother, provide the financial aid you can give ...... When d boy come of age believe me he will come for you, the hardship in this country will give him estral zeal to come looking for you in South Africa when he is old enough.

Dont follow this advice. Villagers think they havd an upper hand in a case like this until you get law enforcement and lawyers involved.
They dread police and lawyers like Covid19. They’ll run.

meetme01:


People don't know social welfare departments in State are working due to non-challant attitude of civil servants coupled with a lack of proper communication between the general public and the government.

Visit any social welfare office nearest to you, insist you want to see the Director. Explain your predicament. A joint session will be called between parties where an amicable solution will be raised with more emphasis on the child. Afterwards, parties will sign a memorandum of understanding and if parties don't agree on terms, they will be referred to the family court for adjudication. The case comes to a close.

Police rarely involve themselves in social welfare issues.

This is not a social welfare case, but child kidnap and endangerment. It’s better you’re empowered by a legal authority. Nigerians dont respect agreement without biting teeth

Jovialjune1:
I don't want to go tribal, but we know the tribe that do this nonsense, a backward tribe consisting of brainless people.

has your nude pictures finally released on media space?
cc drfernadez

BigIyanga:

This is not a social welfare case, but child kidnap and endangerment. It’s better you’re empowered by a legal authority. Nigerians dont respect agreement with biting teeth

It is a social welfare issue. If you read to the end, the legal authority on welfare matters is the family court. Before going to court, all other resolution means must have been tried. If it fails, the court will do the needful.

yetty247:



Locally only or they work internationally??

World wide as far as it concerns a human being.

Chinny024:

...On night duty!...

OK, hope you were not overstressed? enjoy you rest but I'm angry with you.

BigIyanga:

Dont follow this advice. Villagers think they the an upper hand in a case like this until you get law enforcement and lawyers involved.
They dread police and lawyers like Covid19. They’ll run.

I understand if your father is d old drunk in the village...I also understand if Ur family do not have any exposed or educated person to get a lawyer too the defend their own point......u open Urouth waawwwwwwwww to vomit rubbish.

Do you know their is what is recognised in this country as customary laws and jurisdiction?
No dey fool Urself, no be only Ur family be d whole lawyers or judges in this country

PeaceJoyLove:


Stop advising rubbish. Which South Africa shoild she start. She comes down....do a DNA test and thats it.

You go just dey make comments on matters you dont know. A beg....dont give any suggestions when you are ignorant of it. Lef peoppe who can help talk. Imagine..he is tslking of birth certificate. Lol.

She comes, do a DNA test...and enforce it here. First, take the child out of their custody, find him a good school. If they allow her take her out immediately...fine...if not...the child sgargs a good school here. And the next is to deal with the people. Yes, so they can not come out again. They will pay for every dollar they have recieved. Yes, i will make them sell their properties to pay and the balance...they will pay by going to jail. I wont mind spending to destroy them. Who dem be?

A beg, no dey advise what you know nothing about.

We learn everyday... I can be enlightened by you... Please tell how a DNA test can be enforced... Your knowledge can erase my legal knowledge of more than 10 years... Please teach me.

PeaceJoyLove:


And what is the international convention law Mr Law. Una go just dey write rubbish. If you dont know about it, shut the crap up. Dont confuse the victim asking for help.

Google Hague convention on child adoption and abductions for more information

As to enforcement, enforcing the convention is a difficult thing in developed countries, talkless developing countries.

Take it easy by the way. No need to get unnecessarily upset

alizma:

Your approach is good but you can't take him directly to South Africa, you need passport for him. But you can arrange the movement with someone in passport official in Ghana or Benin republic, hang around till the boy is sent on an errand, pick him straight to the nearest airport, then to Lagos, from their, enter Benin or Ghana by road. From their you can arrange your movement to South Africa, eliminate anything, such as processing passport for him that will delay the movement in Nigeria. So you need to move out of Nigeria within the first two days you have physical contact with the boy.

Don't follow this advice. All else you will end up jeopardizing d good chance of getting d kid legally. Kidnapping is a serious crime

Kobonaire234:


Google Hague convention on child adoption and abductions for more information

As to enforcement, enforcing the convention is a difficult thing in developed countries, talkless developing countries.

Take it easy by the way. No need to get unnecessarily upset

I like how you replied me...yeah...i was so upset...i will read what you recommended and put my honest reply here. Thanks!

Too bad.

kansoboy:


You can rant for all I care, that is not my biz...I assure one thing, as far as this boy is in Nigeria , you can. And will never take that boy out of Nigeria. That is what I will assure u... First u lied when u said d grandfather basis he will do Tobi what he did to the husband.

But be rest assured u are fooling Urself, if u think u can take d boy away. If u are a Nigerian, go and ask Ur father who owns d child

Response to the bolded part...
Return to my post and read well. I wrote that the first step is to take the child out of the custody of the evil people....and DNA test will do it. Is that not what is paramount at the earliest?

And I wrote that the child can start a very good school in Nigeria Nigeria immediately. Go read again.

You know the Nigerian system is corrupt, and you know how evil people manipulate the system, but can you manipulate DNA report? A mother has been established...so, she has a say. Yes, the child will be removed from the evil people. The next is for her to set herself well if she can take care of the child and this where experts will tell her qhat to do to show the law shw can take care of the child. So, what crap are you saying? See, im telling you...if you are one of those evil people, i will jail you. It's a promise.

Then, the next step is to jail the evil ones like i said i will jail you if you are one of them.

And then, road will clear. The child can get Nigerian passport first...recognised as Nigerian. Infact the child needs the process to establish the fact that he is Nigerian cos he needs to show the town he is from. The South African mother cannot establish it that the child is Nigerian solely by just saying he married a Nigerian...it must be proven well...so the process can easily establish it and the child will get his passport. After the child has got Nigerian citizenship, and a DNA is estabished that the mama is the the real person...tell me who will stop her from moving the child to South Africa. Na you? You wan stop am?

Please quote the law which will stop her from moving the child after she has done everything right to appeal the Nigerian governent that their son has got the Nigerian citizenship? A dey read...go on...

As for the underlined part... you dey sing? Cos i dont understand that part. Who sang the song? Better check if you are responding well..

sphinixs2
Kobonaire234
Lummoni

kansoboy:


In Nigeria..men own d children.....no debating about it...even if d woman should train d child, it is still men that own the child. Except if d child is a bastard. Woman can own d bastard

@Kobonaire234

Can you see what the problem always will be?

How can men 100% own the children they didn't even birth ?

These are troublesome and useless cultures. Any foreigner who gets tangled in this sort of culture is in for it should something happen to their Nigerian man partner.

get a God fearing contact in Nigeria who would link you up with a lawyer.you must use legal means to get your children free and relocate them.may God's grace, goodness and mercy be with you.Amen

BigIyanga:

Dont follow this advice. Villagers think they the an upper hand in a case like this until you get law enforcement and lawyers involved.
They dread police and lawyers like Covid19. They’ll run.

They believe in culture, but the law supercedes these heartless customs.

It's obvious the woman has not legally looked for redress. Unless the people she's meeting at the Nigerian embassy are cultural stooges. Likely men from his tribe.

meetme01:


People don't know social welfare departments in State are working due to non-challant attitude of civil servants coupled with a lack of proper communication between the general public and the government.

Visit any social welfare office nearest to you, insist you want to see the Director. Explain your predicament. A joint session will be called between parties where an amicable solution will be raised with more emphasis on the child. Afterwards, parties will sign a memorandum of understanding and if parties don't agree on terms, they will be referred to the family court for adjudication. The case comes to a close.

Police rarely involve themselves in social welfare issues.

This is more of a custody issue. The South African High Commission in Nigeria would be involved as the child is also South African by birth through his mother with a South African issued birth certificate.

The birth father of the child is now late, his relatives have no legal basis to have custody of the child when his birth mother is still alive and involved to an extent in the child's life.

kansoboy:
I want to be factual with you, and not emotional or sentimental.
This is Nigeria and worst eastern Nigeria where they do not play with their male child.if u push hard to take that boy away as the mother out of this country and knowing well that once you take that boy away, they will never see him again. Madam no family will let that happen, forget many ppl that will tell you bla bla bla.

My sincere advice to your aunt is this.....leave the boy ,but established a strong communication with him and let him know you are the mother, provide the financial aid you can give ...... When d boy come of age believe me he will come for you, the hardship in this country will give him estral zeal to come looking for you in South Africa when he is old enough.

There is nothing sentimental or emotional about going legal with getting the birth mother having full custody of the child she had with the late husband.

The law will take the boy away from the father's relatives who have no custodial rights over the child, irrespective of their culture.

The law supersedes cultural practices.

Kenyan High Commission has succeeded in facilitating in getting custody of a child in such similar situation from Enugu, what makes you think South African High Commission can't?

Mindlog:


This is more of a custody issue. The South African High Commission in Nigeria would be involved as the child is also South African by birth through his mother with a South African issued birth certificate.

The birth father of the child is now late, his relatives have no legal basis to have custody of the child when his birth mother is still alive and involved to an extent in the child's life.

There is still no way you deal with custody issues if you don't involve social welfare services. As I said, the general public needs proper sensitization on social welfare services. If custody will be awarded to any party, there must be an agreement which is the memorandum of understanding and if it cannot be resolved, social welfare will refer them to the family court. After adjudication, the social welfare services will still write to the South African Embassy on the outcome to proof the mother has been awarded full/partial custody. SA will use this to process the subject's travelling document to leave Nigeria.

The first step remains to involve the social welfare department in the state.


Bolded..says who? Don't be judgemental. Because you read the case here does not mean that is the fact. Experience has revealed that everyone is a saint in every issue until proven otherwise. Let her come forward with facts, she will be heard without bias.

Odward:
Forget about the child and conceive a new one na

Which State? Report your matter to National human rights Commission in that state. Google their phone no or let me know the State so that you call them.

NOTE THEIR SERVICE IS FREE

.

Bambita:

I was heavy before the job came seriously.. that's my main challenge now walahi

More reason for you to go with someone and ur kid while waiting to out to bed..Abi,if labour starts at night nko?....Everyone should consider you are heavy and needs someone around you....Spare some percentage of ur salary and get good house help..Don't Wait for oga to pay ooo.If the job pays well,move with someone provided oga will be visiting As and when due....Secure ur future tight.....Take her along with ur child for a start there.....She can go after one yr or so...Oga,might join you guys later and that would warrant a need for big apartment...Family is planning and understanding especially at this initial stage. It's not skyrocketed....