₦airaland Forum

mariahAngel:
And not adultery itself?
So, when does it become adultery?

Tor, me i dont know ooo. Thats the only option for me now. i cant keep begging for sex or be disturbing someone not ready yet. when she is fully ready again, i will face her squarely, so help me God.
As i dey type like this we dey together on a normal level, if only she know what i'm typing, lol.

Ladies, pleas stop pushing your man out and it is also vice versa.

mdntiri:
Women are very selfish illogical people. It's very frustrating negotiating with them, even if it's common sense mutually beneficial arrangements. It's their nature

Now that our women are becoming very educated, exposed, independent, rich, copying Western lifestyles etc, there'd be lots of stories such as yours all over the place. God help us

Gbam, nothing more, nothing less. Thats why we are seeing lots of crazy number of divorce cases today aside abusive marriages.

Imagine me of all people considering going out to get BJ, life!

May God help us, Amen

nicerod:
I know bro but na pesin wey don chop bellefu dey love na


I need job job and accomodation

I pray that God will come true for you. How i wish i can help.

where are you based bro?

mariahAngel:
And not adultery itself?
So, when does it become adultery?

Eya . I even missed this point self without realising

Make we wait for am to answer your question . Apparently, there're levels to this adultery.

"So when you fully understand how Dread works and when to use it, you’re going to do you and her both a favor and enjoy a more sexual relationship."

When you’re dating someone who has no fear of losing you, that no matter what she does you’re going to stay just because you’ve promised, then she’s not going to genuinely respect you.

And when there’s no respect, there’s no attraction.

When there’s no attraction, there’s no loyalty.

Therefore, when there’s no fear of loss, there is no value in staying with you.

If she doesn’t value you and instead takes you for granted, she won’t look up to you, listen to you, desire you, and help you with your mission and goals in life.

At that point, it’s going to be a matter of time before she grows to be unhappy and sexually frustrated enough to wonder why she into a relationship with you in the first place.

https://www.bunchofwisdom.com/dread-game/

fakum:
Sorry my people this might be a bit long.

Yeah, be careful, just like every other addiction. Anything your partner do while dating will most likely continue in marriage, be warned.
I had sex an explosive sex life with my wife when we were dating and few years after marriage. We makeout everywhere with any little opportunity. Now we are almost 5 years in marriage and things have changed, though it has been coming gradually.

The last time we had sex was like 3 weeks ago, make I suck, NO, make I use hand, NO, and na she give me signal to come do ooo, I vex run my thing, cum and told her sex with her is now more of work. she got angry, I no send. Later in the morning, she brought the matter and I told her yes, she is making sex look like work, that she probably don’t enjoy sex with me anymore. She started saying its pressure, stress,….but I know it’s all lie, I had my suspicion (she doesn’t cook nor wash, virtually does nothing at home now aside her work which closes early and baby who we all look after).
3 days ago, I had a dream abut her, I prayed about it, she asked me about it and I refused t tell. Guys, throughout yesterday, conji wan kill me ooo, I just busy myself with phone. Later in the night, I came in and saw her sleeping, I surf net small , come sleep. I had another dream about her, woke up and time check, past 1 am. I saw her pressing her phone, probably doing her facebook as usual, that her fav app. Na so my suspicion start to play ooo, she started masturbating right there again, I vex but keep calm (this is not the first time ooo, normal level).

Now, this is why I’m angry, I LUV ORAL too much, its my favourite part of love making, for sometimes now, anytime I start my movement going downward on her, she will stop me, make I use hand na, NO, but see Aunty put her hand for THERE now. I’m not surprise, why? Because she confessed to me when dating that she is addicted to masturbation but working on it, that she will stop. Out of love I didn’t judge her, no one is a saint, I also saw it as maybe we can work things from there, bringing it in to our love making to spice things up in our sex life but now, I see my wife prefer masturbation to my oral and sex in its entirety. Guys forget, I’m not hyping myself but I dey try for oral. I can be there, 30min, 1 hr doing my thing (magic), and the result Is always awesome, as I gain more satisfaction in seeing my partner having orgasm than anything else.

Prior to now, because of excuses and stuffs, I have stopped asking for sex but anytime she gives signal, I go deliver. Now, I have made up my mind kind of, make she continue her masturbation, anytime conji hook me, I will find someone to give me mouth action till I’m relieved and movee. Worst case, 3k or 5k. You cant be starving me giving excuses while doing your thing. After all, this is one of the sins of marriage we were told during our class and she know.
I’m not a fan of f*cking outside, I neva enter another woman since we got married though I had enough changes and the pressure and I still don’t want to, not because of her though because she probably doesn’t deserve it but I’m going to get my BJ and have myself relieved issa decision I don’t think I will stop unless God says otherwise.

I will continue to be the loving husband she know, I wont change, I will even get better just as she continue to be the loving wife that she is, but we all have urge to be quenched.
So guys, don’t overlook anything you cant overlook in marriage, e get why! Once most people get what they want, they tend to change or show their real self and marriage isn’t an exception. Some just want the name “married” and have kids (like my wife, after all, she don marry, don get pikin) and once they achieve this, anything can follow though it ought not to be so. Its all my fault sha, I overlook everything ( probably because I know non is perfect and I saw some good traits in her) I wanted companionship as my main reason for marriage but hers were different(though see like attention die), I should have known better. Please marry who have same marriage goals as you.

Finally, this is not to discourage anyone from marriage , marriage is a beautiful thing and I’m happy I’m married and I love my baby (make una no think am oooo). Just pray and marry a good wife like me (even better).

#Peace!

fakum:
you are right about preferring masturbation but about touching her clit, she doesnt do that, its even war when i try to touch her there during love making, strangely. It is well sha.
I'm not regrecting marrying her, aside this, she is perfect for me, she is a good woman ooo just that non is 100%.

From all what you've said, you've painted your wife to be a mostly reasonable person, which is always a good thing.

Why don't you try more talking? This time, lay down the full picture and connect all the dots during your discussions. It seems she prefers masturbating, and that's reducing are desire to want to have traditional sex with you. And you, you CAN'T do without sex with your wife.

Seems all your diplomatic approaches have failed, time to be pragmatic. Let her understand you're now very unhappy with the situation, especially when it appears she's not THINKING DEEPLY about how her preferences is affecting you.

You've tried your best by being open-minded and and not judging. Now is HER time to come up with some PRACTICAL solutions. The point is to get her to start seeing things from a pragmatic angle where every actions or inactions might trigger unwanted chain of events. Especially when one partner in the union has already expressed dissatisfaction like you have.

You don't have to raise voice, quarrel or argue with her. But be firm and maintain focus. No go let her "honey" and "sugar" talk make you loseguard during such discussions oh . Otherwise, na only that one night you go enjoy the fruit of ya labour .

As for looking outside and paying 3K or whatever to get BJs, abeg die that matter. Na you talk if only say this matter no dey, your wife and marriage go be 100%. You may get your BJs, but you'll lose the trust in your marriage if your wife finds out. Even if she never finds out, you'll wake up every morning to the fact you're now a dishonest man.

I no see my involvement cuz I b priest

Talking won't work. Logic cannot trigger desire.

@OP,

You're not the first man in a Long-term relationship to experience this.

Get knowledge, and educate yourself on what other men did that worked.

Your wife will thank you.

https://medium.com/@RationalMale/the-desire-dynamic-a037b275b505

jelel6:
From all what you've said, you've painted your wife to be a mostly reasonable person, which is always a good thing.

Why don't you try more talking? This time, lay down the full picture and connect all the dots during your discussions. It seems she prefers masturbating, and that's reducing are desire to want to have traditional sex with you. And you, you CAN'T do without sex with your wife.

Seems all your diplomatic approaches have failed, time to be pragmatic. Let her understand you're now very unhappy with the situation, especially when it appears she's not THINKING DEEPLY about how her preferences is affecting you.

You've tried your best by being open-minded and and not judging. Now is HER time to come up with some PRACTICAL solutions. The point is to get her to start seeing things from a pragmatic angle where every actions or inactions might trigger unwanted chain of events. Especially when one partner in the union has already expressed dissatisfaction like you have.

You don't have to raise voice, quarrel or argue with her. But be firm and maintain focus. No go let her "honey" and "sugar" talk make you loseguard during such discussions oh . Otherwise, na only that one night you go enjoy the fruit of ya labour .

As for looking outside and paying 3K or whatever to get BJs, abeg die that matter. Na you talk if only say this matter no dey, your wife and marriage go be 100%. You may get your BJs, but you'll lose the trust in your marriage if your wife finds out. Even if she never finds out, you'll wake up every morning to the fact you're now a dishonest man.

GodHimself:
"So when you fully understand how Dread works and when to use it, you’re going to do you and her both a favor and enjoy a more sexual relationship."

When you’re dating someone who has no fear of losing you, that no matter what she does you’re going to stay just because you’ve promised, then she’s not going to genuinely respect you.

And when there’s no respect, there’s no attraction.

When there’s no attraction, there’s no loyalty.

Therefore, when there’s no fear of loss, there is no value in staying with you.

If she doesn’t value you and instead takes you for granted, she won’t look up to you, listen to you, desire you, and help you with your mission and goals in life.

At that point, it’s going to be a matter of time before she grows to be unhappy and sexually frustrated enough to wonder why she into a relationship with you in the first place.

https://www.bunchofwisdom.com/dread-game/

This is also more logic than artsy. This is more or less same sides of the same coin as what you quoted above.

The only difference here is this is meant to be unspoken, and for a (frustrated) man patient enough to play the long game. But it takes two to tango. Less hope the woman is even paying enough attention to notice something is cooking.

fakum:
I pray that God will come true for you. How i wish i can help.

where are you based bro?

Lagos surulere sir

fakum:
Tor, me i dont know ooo. Thats the only option for me now. i cant keep begging for sex or be disturbing someone not ready yet. when she is fully ready again, i will face her squarely, so help me God.
As i dey type like this we dey together on a normal level, if only she know what i'm typing, lol.

Ladies, pleas stop pushing your man out and it is also vice versa.

Get a sex therapist my brother. It's much more than you think. I can authoritatively tell you it has to do with indoctrination. You should have helped her to conquer it when she first confessed it to you. It can still be corrected my brother, especially, with the love you professed to have for her.

It may be tough and take time but you will surely conquer this together and she will forever be thankful to you.
Can I pm you?

Op I'm sorry to ask this raw question?
Does she have a big long clit? Because ladies that have it big and long are usually addicted to masturbation, it is always very difficult to quit.

fakum:
you are right about preferring masturbation but about touching her clit, she doesnt do that, its even war when i try to touch her there during love making, strangely. It is well sha.
I'm not regrecting marrying her, aside this, she is perfect for me, she is a good woman ooo just that non is 100%.

It's ok bro, try and adapt to her sex life since that is her only flaw..
.as for me I married a 100% lady. Lucky me ryt?? It's been 13yrs

mdntiri:
Women are very selfish illogical people. It's very frustrating negotiating with them, even if it's common sense mutually beneficial arrangements. It's their nature

Now that our women are becoming very educated, exposed, independent, rich, copying Western lifestyles etc, there'd be lots of stories such as yours all over the place. God help us

How? Westerners are more open about sex, so what's the correlation there? You think an uneducated woman would worship you better abi?

fakum:
Hmmm, to b honest i might not be happy with the turn out of things but giving her a free hand is a decision i'm hppy about. Marriage is not a cage or prison, it should be enjoyed freely and the worst thing from my experience is if you cage a woman or girl child, they tend to do worst with or without you knowing. Na God ooo, this thing no get any 100% sure way ooo, lets just hope and pray for the best.

Thanks

I'm not saying you shouldn't give her a free hand.
What I meant is that, is always good to make a woman feel that she can be sexually substituted. If she thinks or believes you can't cheat on her, she would be reluctant to satisfy you.
If you were the one denying her sex because you are addicted to masturbation, she may end up cheating on you.

fakum:
Gbam, nothing more, nothing less. Thats why we are seeing lots of crazy number of divorce cases today aside abusive marriages.

Imagine me of all people considering going out to get BJ, life!

May God help us, Amen

Must u ve BJ.... Bros men are observing you

Men marry yourselves!
Let the government legalize gay marriage.
No woman can satisfy a mans sexual needs.
Talk more Monogamy as etched by the borrowed Religion of the western culture.

The rue in this Dimension is that a man cannot tolerate the Bs from another man like a woman does.
Even though men are better at golddigging, they got ego and not submissive.
And that's why y'all still simp for the p.us.s.y.

Y'all Go f.vcckk yourselves and save the world.

GodHimself:
"So when you fully understand how Dread works and when to use it, you’re going to do you and her both a favor and enjoy a more sexual relationship."

When you’re dating someone who has no fear of losing you, that no matter what she does you’re going to stay just because you’ve promised, then she’s not going to genuinely respect you.

And when there’s no respect, there’s no attraction.

When there’s no attraction, there’s no loyalty.

Therefore, when there’s no fear of loss, there is no value in staying with you.

If she doesn’t value you and instead takes you for granted, she won’t look up to you, listen to you, desire you, and help you with your mission and goals in life.

At that point, it’s going to be a matter of time before she grows to be unhappy and sexually frustrated enough to wonder why she into a relationship with you in the first place.

https://www.bunchofwisdom.com/dread-game/

Great words tough in this case she does value me and always wants me to succeed in everything. To be honest, we she very happy she is with me and admires me alot.

jelel6:
From all what you've said, you've painted your wife to be a mostly reasonable person, which is always a good thing.

Why don't you try more talking? This time, lay down the full picture and connect all the dots during your discussions. It seems she prefers masturbating, and that's reducing are desire to want to have traditional sex with you. And you, you CAN'T do without sex with your wife.

Seems all your diplomatic approaches have failed, time to be pragmatic. Let her understand you're now very unhappy with the situation, especially when it appears she's not THINKING DEEPLY about how her preferences is affecting you.

You've tried your best by being open-minded and and not judging. Now is HER time to come up with some PRACTICAL solutions. The point is to get her to start seeing things from a pragmatic angle where every actions or inactions might trigger unwanted chain of events. Especially when one partner in the union has already expressed dissatisfaction like you have.

You don't have to raise voice, quarrel or argue with her. But be firm and maintain focus. No go let her "honey" and "sugar" talk make you loseguard during such discussions oh . Otherwise, na only that one night you go enjoy the fruit of ya labour .

As for looking outside and paying 3K or whatever to get BJs, abeg die that matter. Na you talk if only say this matter no dey, your wife and marriage go be 100%. You may get your BJs, but you'll lose the trust in your marriage if your wife finds out. Even if she never finds out, you'll wake up every morning to the fact you're now a dishonest man.

Thanks alot

Novemberaura:
I no see my involvement cuz I b priest

Some priest are good mediators

Oluneutral:
Get a sex therapist my brother. It's much more than you think. I can authoritatively tell you it has to do with indoctrination. You should have helped her to conquer it when she first confessed it to you. It can still be corrected my brother, especially, with the love you professed to have for her.

It may be tough and take time but you will surely conquer this together and she will forever be thankful to you.
Can I pm you?

Thanks alot.

Fountainofyouth:
Op I'm sorry to ask this raw question?
Does she have a big long clit? Because ladies that have it big and long are usually addicted to masturbation, it is always very difficult to quit.

lol. No

polite2:
It's ok bro, try and adapt to her sex life since that is her only flaw..
.as for me I married a 100% lady. Lucky me ryt?? It's been 13yrs

Congrats bro, 13 yrs is not easy and Thanks. Adapting to her new sex life wont be easy to be honest.

SenatePresdo:
I'm not saying you shouldn't give her a free hand.
What I meant is that, is always good to make a woman feel that she can be sexually substituted. If she thinks or believes you can't cheat on her, she would be reluctant to satisfy you.
If you were the one denying her sex because you are addicted to masturbation, she may end up cheating on you.

i have hinted her on that and she will end up changing for a week or two. This time, it will be the final talk we will have about this.

jelel6:
This is also more logic than artsy. This is more or less same sides of the same coin as what you quoted above.

The only difference here is this is meant to be unspoken, and for a (frustrated) man patient enough to play the long game. But it takes two to tango. Less hope the woman is even paying enough attention to notice something is cooking.

I havent changed so she probably wouldnt know that anything is cooking but i will seat her down and relay everything for the last time.

polite2:
Must u ve BJ.... Bros men are observing you

I dont care who is observing or not really. Secondly, what then, marry a second wife (hell no)

fakum:
i have hinted her on that and she will end up changing for a week or two. This time, it will be the final talk we will have about this.

Lol, I wish you luck.

You know what's good for you.

Maybe you don't love sex that much like i do.

Once my wife start being reluctant in having sex with me, if I don't cheat on her, then I would force her.. One must surely happen.

mdntiri:
Women are very selfish illogical people. It's very frustrating negotiating with them, even if it's common sense mutually beneficial arrangements. It's their nature

Now that our women are becoming very educated, exposed, independent, rich, copying Western lifestyles etc, there'd be lots of stories such as yours all over the place. God help us

Selfishness is an understatement. It baffles me that women carry their self centeredness to the bedroom ooo.

I somehow don't believe this story but one thing I know for sure is that girls that derive satisfaction from masturbation and lesbianism do not enjoy penetrative sex.

I'm specific about penetrative sex than general love making which made OP's case worse.

Because I expect that the wife should be enjoying oral, fingering and all that she does to herself if and when done by another (the husband).

I stopped fingering girls and sucking their boobs for too long before penetration after I noticed that a lot of them enjoy romance more than thrusting (penetrative sex) which wouldn't have been a problem.

But it becomes a problem when their selfish nature set in. By the time you're done pleasuring them and it's time to go in and derive your own pleasure, you will hear "it's okay" "I'm not interested" "do you want to force me" etc. Of course, rape being the greatest weapon of a woman, they will guilt trip you to leave them alone after all the giggling and mourning from the romance.

So I now just touch them a little and when I see that they are really craving for more touching and sucking especially on the erogenous areas, I will put "IT" in and derive my pleasure first. If she's not satisfied, I can continue with the romance because a man hardly says no to a woman's sexual advances (demands), but they can firmly tell you no even after going naked and doing all other sh$ts together.

What a selfish gend3r

Dailyparrot:
Selfishness is an understatement. It baffles me that women carry their self centeredness to the bedroom ooo.

I somehow don't believe this story but one thing I know for sure is that girls that derive satisfaction from masturbation and lesbianism do not enjoy penetrative sex.

I'm specific about penetrative sex than general love making which made OP's case worse.

Because I expect that the wife should be enjoying oral, fingering and all that she does to herself if and when done by another (the husband).

I stopped fingering girls and sucking their boobs for too long before penetration after I noticed that a lot of them enjoy romance more than thrusting (penetrative sex) which wouldn't have been a problem.

But it becomes a problem when their selfish nature set in. By the time you're done pleasuring them and it's time to go in and derive your own pleasure, you will hear "it's okay" "I'm not interested" "do you want to force me" etc. Of course, rape being the greatest weapon of a woman, they will guilt trip you to leave them alone after all the giggling and mourning from the romance.

So I now just touch them a little and when I see that they are really craving for more touching and sucking especially on the erogenous areas, I will put "IT" in and derive my pleasure first. If she's not satisfied, I can continue with the romance because a man hardly says no to a woman's sexual advances (demands), but they can firmly tell you no even after going naked and doing all other sh$ts together.

What a selfish gend3r

stop Mansplaining and see it for what it is. Women Don't like men.
Y'all stop forcing yourself on that gender. Men marry yourselves! Legalize gay marriage and leave women alone.

fakum:
!

LOL perhaps the problem is you. You claim you love head, perhaps you are the one pleasing yourself as in maybe you are doing what you want and not what she want. Maybe you have to forget everything you know and start learning anew.

Dailyparrot:
Selfishness is an understatement. It baffles me that women carry their self centeredness to the bedroom ooo.

I somehow don't believe this story but one thing I know for sure is that girls that derive satisfaction from masturbation and lesbianism do not enjoy penetrative sex.

I'm specific about penetrative sex than general love making which made OP's case worse.

Because I expect that the wife should be enjoying oral, fingering and all that she does to herself if and when done by another (the husband).

I stopped fingering girls and sucking their boobs for too long before penetration after I noticed that a lot of them enjoy romance more than thrusting (penetrative sex) which wouldn't have been a problem.

But it becomes a problem when their selfish nature set in. By the time you're done pleasuring them and it's time to go in and derive your own pleasure, you will hear "it's okay" "I'm not interested" "do you want to force me" etc. Of course, rape being the greatest weapon of a woman, they will guilt trip you to leave them alone after all the giggling and mourning from the romance.

So I now just touch them a little and when I see that they are really craving for more touching and sucking especially on the erogenous areas, I will put "IT" in and derive my pleasure first. If she's not satisfied, I can continue with the romance because a man hardly says no to a woman's sexual advances (demands), but they can firmly tell you no even after going naked and doing all other sh$ts together.

What a selfish gend3r

Women! In ops case I think she's done the masturbation for such a long time her body is used to only the touch of her own hands. Her brain has rewired itself to 'help' her in her endeavours. Some of the effects of masturbation

fakum:
you are right about preferring masturbation but about touching her clit, she doesnt do that, its even war when i try to touch her there during love making, strangely. It is well sha.
I'm not regrecting marrying her, aside this, she is perfect for me, she is a good woman ooo just that non is 100%.

This your story self dey one kind.

If she doesn't touch her clit, then how does she masturbate? How do you give her MouthAction without stimulating the clit?

You want to tell me she masturbate with deep penetration and avoid the clit? Yet denies you same penetration?

Women who masturbate are more clitoris concentrated than penetration. Even a virgin can masturbate and get orgasm while her hymen remains intact.


This your story self.

I'm out of here