₦airaland Forum

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

Best to marry your friend ooo. Me I married my friend many years ago uptill now we behave like boy friend girl friend. Freedom is the ultimate no one will fill suffocated, we have equal right in the house because, both of us built it yet we know how to work together to achieve any goal. Pastor wey never marry up till now and waiting for match making fit get character issue ooo. No go jump in and jump out. Your husband must understand you very well first before you say I do. Marriage no be beans

EriMma1:
■Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
■Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.
■Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, [b]I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... [/b]I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday. Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

1. Why do people get married in the first place? Isn't it so they can supposedly find themselves? You have been able to do that outside of marriage meaning you have been able to acquire that which most married people are eventually never able to even after what may even amount to almost a lifetime of being married. So why would you want to allow some men who pretend to be "spiritual" to take that away from you?

2. Adoption is available if you change your mind.

3. Again, most married folks aren't fulfilled. It is like a thing ... Marriage rarely ever gives anyone fulfillment of the kind you currently have as a single folk. The man may seem inviting but remember those are brain-chemicals doing the talking there for you. Your heart is telling you a truth which you should probably listen more to, rather than fear. Not everyone is made for marriage, and marriage is not made for everyone.

EriMma1:
Will it change anything? Ive grown so thick in this mindset. Marriage Is now like intrusion or even insurrection in my life or maybe how I now see it.

It's not a crime to be single, if you are not comfortable with it, then stay single, but my intuition is telling me that you are a very beautiful girl at your late forties, you chased many promising guys away from you in your late twenties and early thirties because of your snobbish attitude. Up to now you are still beautiful and none would hardly place your age. But You are possessed by a deadly spiritual husband that doesn't want you to settle down. My advice is that you need deliverance, I counsel you to hit zion ministry for deliverance immediately and thank me later. And if I am not mistaken, you are a nurse

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

you are not getting any more younger. You want freedom and all that, but will the freedom solve all your life problems as you age? Take a decision that you'll be proud of in 10yrs time.

You need a serious therapy. You want your freedom and space, who is deceiving you? Lazy woman.

zinaunreal:
My friend speaking English doesn't hide your stupidity. You are gay and an homophobe you damn rotten maggot. Are you any better than this individual seeking advice. Judgemental beast. Eat grass useless ape . Jump back to that tree you came down from. Animal

Woman wrapper hegoat! I rated you more than I should. You have no iota of sensibility in you, always aping women so people will say you are decent. When will you stop living women's lives for them and live your own? Cursed fool, from the way you speak, I know the woman in your life wears the trousers because you are very effeminate! You smell and so do your response!

Lemme ask, how 'av u been taking care of ur aged mother? Dad? Siblings?.... when last did u even see them?

The time u would have enjoyed what marriage is was ur early 20s where u and ur husband will live like brother and sister, like intimate friend and parents to each other.. ........
He could cook for you while you were busy in sofa with social media but u were now almost 40 or at 40s what could you possibly expect now... .............
Just get into the boring thing where you and ur husband will be calling each other daddy and mummy...
It's a lesson u will teach on ur children to marry early and not poke nosing into other people's affairs or judging with other people's marriage

Lol.... Should we tell her?

You still need a successor, if your parents reasoned this way, you wouldn't have existed, stop feeling your head with thoughts, give yourself some time to heal, go see a therapist, give love a chance, pray to your God for his will to be done.


Good luck!

ogwumgbe:
It's not a crime to be single, if you are not comfortable with it, then stay single, but my intuition is telling me that you are a very beautiful girl at your late forties, you chased many promising guys away from you in your late twenties and early thirties because of your snobbish attitude. Up to now you are still beautiful and none would hardly place your age. But You are possessed by a deadly spiritual husband that doesn't want you to settle down. My advice is that you need deliverance, I counsel you to hit zion ministry for deliverance immediately and thank me later. And if I am not mistaken, you are a nurse

Go visit a psychiatrist to get yourself mental help you need abeg!

everythinggirly:
You still need a successor, if your parents reasoned this way, you wouldn't have existed, stop feeling your head with thoughts, give yourself some time to heal, go see a therapist, give love a chance, pray to your God for his will to be done.
Good luck!

Stop lying to her! A successor to what? Wetin una dey succeed in this world when all that your parents and grandparents before you did turned to dust when they died?,

Every healing starts from within you just as the mess was created from inside of you. The therapy will do a wonder but first be your own therapist. Speak to yourself that your marriage will not be the way the devil has created the fear of it in your mind. Say to yourself you will have the best partner, kids and your marriage will blossom day by day. Who said you can't have all of the things you're scared of giving up for marriage in marriage? That's not true. Marriage isn't a prison or cage. Remember in the presence of God there is liberty. Say to yourself your marriage will blossom in love and freedom of expressing yourself everyday and speak to God to make your partner align in unison or better still let God give you a partner who would align in unison. Remember God is the giver of everything that's beautiful and good (Matthew 7:11). Don't let the devil rob you off your testimony with all those fears coz that's his enterprise of destruction. Shalom😇

EriMma1:
Will it change anything? Ive grown so thick in this mindset. Marriage Is now like intrusion or even insurrection in my life or maybe how I now see it.

Ishilove:
You are not ready. When you are you will know

She's in her late 30's?

Forget marriage but by all means, get a child or two.
As you advance in age, most of the things and people that keeps your life busy will start to detach and you will be fill with emptiness. That's where family comes in, when your social circle has move on

EriMma1:
Will it change anything? Ive grown so thick in this mindset. Marriage Is now like intrusion or even insurrection in my life or maybe how I now see it.

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

it's not by force to marry o after all Paul in the bible did not marry. But make sure that you also abstain from sex because that also involve a man that will send you for an errand of removing your clothes for sex, sending you to come on top and so on

shortgun:
Dey play.
You are just lazy, your body will pay for your lazy lifestyle in no distant time if you continue to indulge in what you think is comfort.
The human body is not made for a stress-free lifestyle so get your lazy ass to that teeth shining brother's house if you don't want to wither and die.

gbamest

Kobojunkie:
Stop lying to her! A successor to what? Wetin una dey succeed in this world when all that your parents and grandparents before you did turned to dust when they died?,

Even chickens make the effort to see their offspring survive. The ultimate goal of every creature is to keep the "God DNA" alive. My grandparents deeds haven't turned to dust. 10 plus grandchildren.

How can you fail at transforming society and fail at something as simple as keeping your genes going? Abi is the 9-5 what you call fulfillment? helping another man create better environment for their own kids, isn't that slavery in disguise?

These western ideas aren't healthy for society. Now, their old folks are overtaking the young folks, thats societal collapse right there..

To OP, Money go tire you when time comes. I sha hooe you like cats. Don't sha join forum nd come and be littering the place with cat pics like your counterparts in the west do😂

kkins25:
■Even chickens make the effort to see their offspring survive. The ultimate goal of every creature is to keep the "God DNA" alive. My grandparents deeds haven't turned to dust. 10 plus grandchildren. How can you fail at transforming society and fail at something as simple as keeping your genes going? Abi is the 9-5 what you call fulfillment? helping another man create better environment for their own kids, isn't that slavery in disguise?
■ These western ideas aren't healthy for society. Now, their old folks are overtaking the young folks, thats societal collapse right there..

1. That statement is a lie rendering your entire argument invalid.

2. Western ideas? Old people overtaking young folks? Where?

burp18:
Different people have different reason for getting married, some for procreation, some marry for love, some marry so they can have someone who'll carry on their legacy. No one is going to die as a result of being single but there comes the old age, where you'd be by yourself and there's no one to take care of you. It can get really lonely

Unfortunately, the western media that promotes this rubbish idea of "ah, I'm enjoying my private space, " has hidden the fact that single old people quickly run into depression.

AbujaCitiBlog:
Woman wrapper hegoat! I rated you more than I should. You have no iota of sensibility in you, always aping women so people will say you are decent. When will you stop living women's lives for them and live your own? Cursed fool, from the way you speak, I know the woman in your life wears the trousers because you are very effeminate! You smell and so do your response!

Take a look at this baboon I said you are a gay person and a judgemental beast. Keep speaking English and exhibiting your mumisim. Maggot

IgiveLadiesBj:
You mean MercyChen? How do you know it's her?

A leopard can't change its spot

PLEASE RE-EXAMINE YOURSELF VERY, VERY WELL. If your choice is for the ideal one, you are not ideal yourself.

You do not appreciate others. Nor, do you take advices serious enough. You do not trust people.You are too full of yourself. And men do not appeal to you because your psychology of what and who fathers are is unappealing to you. .... PLEASE go and love your father and brothers to bring love back to you.
CURE YOURSELF OF SUCH BAD PSYCHOLOGY AND PSYCHOSIS. It ruins. You cannot live alone. It is a curse brought oneself.... Then ask God for forgiveness of such sin and related one having failed to appreciate humanity; simply out of false teachings and weird christain and modern beliefs.

Kobojunkie:
1. That statement is a lie rendering your entire argument invalid.

You have one goal as a biological organism, keep your gene alive. Facts don't care about your emotions.


2. Western ideas? Old people overtaking young folks? Where? [/quote]kindly confirm warnings from Gov on exhaustion of Social security benefits by 2030. Also, check for percentage of retiring work force in 2025 and compare that with available youth to replace the retiree. Now compare that with the norm fron 2000. Then compare that with other nations.

Japan is facing a similar problem because, ppl get engulfed with 9-5, they forget biological duties. or, don't want the stress of raising children. No thanks to ideas from good old west. haha.


Anyway, its no wonder rich folks litter the place with many wifes and baby mamas this days. They are people who available, who enjoy their privacy, and would be willing to devote their lifes to helping them, the rich, raise the 'troublesome' kids.

kkins25:
You have one goal as a biological organism, keep your gene alive. Facts don't care about your emotions.

That is bullsheet!

You are only scared of getting married because you have a nasty character that's full of shit.

Marriage isn't do or die.

But if I may advise you....

Never marry anyone out of pressure or duress.

Kobojunkie:
That is bullsheet!

How can it be bullsheet? This is what happens when you read a book over and over again, and worse from one dimension.

is it not written that when we go to heaven we lose ability to procreate? What would be the need of procreation if you have ever lasting life? Do you see that my ideas aren't really bullsheet? but wisdom encrypted in the book of God? 🤣 🤣 🤣

A male giraffe that loses the ability to procreate begins killing offspring of competitors. If it's genes won't survive, then no one else should.

What do you think is the driving force behind women and the evil they show children of other women? Other women's children shouldn't share from the resources that her husband is providing for her. Again, just a mechanism to ensure her genes, thats is, her offspring, get all the resources. You thought is evil? 🤣 🤣 🤣


You have just one goal, Keep your genes alive. If you can't do that, then be the force that pushes humanity to another stage of development. It shouldn't be less than that, else your parents wasted resources bringing you up.

If you're happy being single then continue to be single

kkins25:
,■ How can it be bullsheet? This is what happens when you read a book over and over again, and worse from one dimension. is it not written that when we go to heaven we lose ability to procreate? What would be the need of procreation if you have ever lasting life? Do you see that my ideas aren't really bullsheet? but wisdom encrypted in the book of God? 🤣 🤣 🤣
■A male giraffe that loses the ability to procreate begins killing offspring of competitors. If it's genes won't survive, then no one else should.
■ What do you think is the driving force behind women and the evil they show children of other women? Other women's children shouldn't share from the resources that her husband is providing for her. Again, just a mechanism to ensure her genes, thats is, her offspring, get all the resources. You thought is evil? 🤣 🤣 🤣
■You have just one goal, Keep your genes alive. If you can't do that, then be the force that pushes humanity to another stage of development. It shouldn't be less than that, else your parents wasted resources bringing you up.

1. I don't get what a book has to do with this.

2. I am a human being, not a giraffe.

3. So, we conveniently ignore the fact that there are equally other women who don't perpetrate evil against the children of other women? What do we call the mechanism working on these women?.

4. Again, bullsheet!

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

Too much using of intimacy gadgets