Michelle55:
Take all the time in the world that you need darling... Get married when you are mentally, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually ready.
Dem no dey catch late comer for husband house.

That's, if the husband go de o!!!

Cos by the time she feels ready, husband might not be coming. She's in her late 30s, remember?

EriMma1:


Yeah. This is exactly what I'm saying.
Of course you won't see anything in my concerns and worries for those things and it's easy for you to say it's not a big deal because you're not the one doing them but your wife. so you don't know what it feels like. Madam is the one doing everything that's why it is not a big deal.

Excuse me!

Are u getting scared of loneliness already?
All these years u have remained single did anyone kill u? Continue with ur single life. I see no reason for this thread. Tell ur spiritual leaders u enjoy ur single space & they will let u be. U can't eat ur cake & have it. U don't want to compromise, but u wish to enjoy what married people enjoy? It doesn't work that way. Choose one, single or married life & stick with it! They all come with sacrifices.

EriMma1:


You'll regret any choice you make in life.

That is my Mentality.


But,


I always make plans To minimize Failure and Maximize Positive Outcomes.

I am an Optimistic Pessimist.

I believe things will mostly work out with enough
Planning and Preparation.


Without Planning and Preparation one might as
well not try and engage in any Challenging activities.


I am a very paranoid human being, and i turned
that weakness into a strength.

My motto is:

Always Imagine the Worst Possible Outcome and Plan for it in Advance.
Overpreparation is King

Mercy stay single and stop disturbing us..

EriMma1:


Will it change anything? Ive grown so thick in this mindset. Marriage Is now like intrusion or even insurrection in my life or maybe how I now see it.

The question is,, apart from your over used damaged puss*y, madam what else can you offer a man in a relationship apart from your over used damaged kpekpus.

My question is with all this write-up , do you still have sex , but does want to be married ? Do you intend having kids ? Time is very crucial ! In 15 - 20 years time, I pray you don't regret the damage !

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

EriMma1:


Will it change anything? Ive grown so thick in this mindset. Marriage Is now like intrusion or even insurrection in my life or maybe how I now see it.

Marriage is just a legal agreement bringing two people together (that is what it is today) change your mindset companionship is fine not everybody will marry in the end

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

Yeah , it's bound to happen and you may eventually not marry. Once you stay off relationships and sex for too long you start being comfortable to it as your psyche adjust to it. You need to break off from this mindset as you may eventually regret not getting married or having kids.

AbujaCitiBlog:
You won't keep quiet cursed fool and allow the pretender woman to answer! Men who can't control themselves like you should cut off their dick and hand it over to Bobrisky. I don't what your own is.

Ogbeni your are a pure homophobe and people like you are absolute gays. Keep hiding and hating. Gay azz niggah. Mr perfect thinks he better but na una dey carry load of assorted sin for back. Eh dey sweet you to come claim perfect here and judge people. Rubbish jargon of an existence . Common discharge

As for marriage issues, I think sticking to biblical marriage precepts is what will help us.

For children stress, I can assure you, I haven't seen a woman who is unhappy or regrets giving birth. It is always joy even for those born out of wedlock at a young age.
The joy of having children far outweighs the stress.

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

-ogunboy

Shake off the fear. It is 21st century. Wether marriage works out or not, can never be the end of the world for the modern woman . To me it's the perfect time for you to marry and have children. Children are the greatest gift in marriage.

being:
As for marriage issues, I think sticking to biblical marriage precepts is what will help us.

For children stress, I can assure you, I haven't seen a woman who is unhappy or regrets giving birth. It is always joy even for those born out of wedlock at a young age.
The joy of having children far outweighs the stress.

Ok.
Thank you.

EriMma1:


If you believe aged people are being taken care of by their children then you're in for a big surprise as they will so abandon you and face their lives and businesses. If God is not with you, you'll be the most miserable and lonely soul in your old age . So erase that mentality.

So many aged people you see walking around hopelessly, is it because they don't have children or they were not once married?

What about those in care homes? Don't they have families? They do. so why are they put in care home and not their childrens homes? Abeg drop this mentality.

If you want to have a fulfilled retirement life, put God first and have a good retirement plan so you won't have to depend on any one. Whether you have children or not.

Marriage is not a guarantee to a fulfilled retirement life.

So why are u bothered?
U just enumerated your fears!
U think u are deceiving us? U are only deceiving yourself. If u are truly convinced within yourself that marriage is not a guarantee to a fulfilled retirement life, why bother to the extent of creating a thread about it? I pity u. When u get to your 50s, body go tell u. U think u are wiser than God that designed the institution of marriage stating it is not good for man to be alone? Keep on deceiving yourself. I only pity that innocent man u are about to ruin his happiness. This is why men are advised not to Marry older ladies. Any lady that has passed age 35 got issues, if not, she suppose don marry.

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

I think ure looking and perhaps going into it wrongly. U are trying to go into marriage as a duty or obligation to a man or a partner. This is a type of concept of marriage where there is little or no familiarity with urselves and u are both going in on some blind love or blind truth or as in with some Christian setting blind "faith".

Let me say this is not abnormal as some people going into marriage with total strangers on certain terms and conditions be it faith, Recommendation by family or friends.

The problem is when u don't prepare urself and mind for this type of arranged relationship or marriage and bring the other expectations and standards of the familiar relationship couple getting married and thereby create problems that u should understand ahead because of the peculiarities of what u are going into.

It is a risk that may go well if u are largely compatible or backfire if u are widely Incompatible.

u must have all ur necessary discussions and hard topics about ur self and marriage style all in a short and maybe conditioned environment so honesty by both parties will play a huge part. Its almost like a speed dating or speed marriage.

If u can't agree on ur style of marriage whi h u must discussion then u must be bold to cancel it at the early stage bt some Christians like to spiritually cagole themselves in marriage and then later bring out their true colors.

faithfull18:

Well but you will be told when you are old, nobody will take care of you.

Getting married doesn't guarantee anyone would take care of you either. Some people even die early from marital frustration

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

Wonderful writeup, but from your writing, it shows that though you spoke about being in your late 30s, you're still a teenager in your mind. Cos you don't seem to understand commitment, responsibility and accountability, above all you seem to still be very selfish and lack disciple in some aspects.

CaveAdullam:
If you don't like fish, don't taste fish oil.

However, I hope this is not a coping mechanism. Not that you'll cry in the corner of the bedroom and come from a terminator online. Or, start screaming men are scum and how no man wants you, or how men are after your money instead of love in the future.

Stay well, dear sister.

The bold is clearly the case here!
She is already regretting her decision. If not, I see no need creating this thread in the first place.

But why are the guys here taking it personal🤷🏽‍♂️ Life is a sumtotal of our choices, you alone bear the outcome either good or bad

Rubbiish:

So why are u bothered?
U just enumerated your fears!
U think u are deceiving us? U are only deceiving yourself. If u are truly convinced within yourself that marriage is not a guarantee to a fulfilled retirement life, why bother to the extent of creating a thread about it? I pity u. When u get to your 50s, body go tell u. U think u are wiser than God that designed the institution of marriage stating it is not good for man to be alone? Keep on deceiving yourself. I only pity that innocent man u are about to ruin his happiness. This is why men are advised not to Marry older ladies. Any lady that has passed age 35 got issues, if not, she suppose don marry.

Rubbiish

EriMma1:


If you believe aged people are being taken care of by their children then you're in for a big surprise as they will so abandon you and face their lives and businesses. If God is not with you, you'll be the most miserable and lonely soul in your old age . So erase that mentality.

So many aged people you see walking around hopelessly, is it because they don't have children or they were not once married?

What about those in care homes? Don't they have families? They do. so why are they put in care home and not their childrens homes? Abeg drop this mentality.

If you want to have a fulfilled retirement life, put God first and have a good retirement plan so you won't have to depend on any one. Whether you have children or not.

Marriage is not a guarantee to a fulfilled retirement life.

I send u a PM. In case u miss it, u can send me one

As long as you have some one to service your engine dont worry about marriage

Rubbiish:

The bold is clearly the case here!
She is already regretting her decision. If not, I see no need creating this thread in the first place.

She isn't regretting, she is only trying to see if there are people who share her world view

Rubbiish:

So why are u bothered?
U just enumerated your fears!
U think u are deceiving us? U are only deceiving yourself. If u are truly convinced within yourself that marriage is not a guarantee to a fulfilled retirement life, why bother to the extent of creating a thread about it? I pity u. When u get to your 50s, body go tell u. U think u are wiser than God that designed the institution of marriage stating it is not good for man to be alone? Keep on deceiving yourself. I only pity that innocent man u are about to ruin his happiness. This is why men are advised not to Marry older ladies. Any lady that has passed age 35 got issues, if not, she suppose don marry.

The Bible didn't say marriage is compulsory, a a part even said it's advisable to be single for those who can.

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

I pray love find you most importantly and every other thing will be secondary.

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress

Same here jare though in my early thirties. But I'd add that being the first of two , the pressure I receive from my mom to give her grand kiddies is hell. I've been single close to a decade now, women don't interest me but I no b gay o. Some scars need to remain closed plus i fear spending the rest of my precious life with d wrong lady but on the hand, being single comes with real consequences. Some of my "unserious" friends are married. At times, shame dey catch me to visit dem. You'll understand later. And the reasons you gave ain't nice enough. Seems more self- centered and you need to relegate it if you're thinking about marriage.

ogunboy:


Is this Mercychen/Blessedmercy8? She day always return with new monika

From her posts you supposed know her..

EriMma1:



Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...



Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

With the bolded, you don't need any therapy, that's the problem, your natural femininity is dead, thereby making you disqualified to be a wife not to talk of a mother, why will a lady think that of one of the most beautiful thing God has made on earth.
As a woman, family should always come first, not job or career that's the work of your husband.
You need to pray to God to restore your femininity.

-ogunboy

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

If I may ask, have ever been in love with someone?

Every negative reason you listed up there will be the result of lack of love in a marriage.

RESHARPENED:
Don't get married.

Especially not to a pastor. Most especially not to THAT pastor. He's a weak and manipulative man that could not approach you himself.

Plus, you can forget everything about independence if you get married to a pastor. Religion demands a slavish devotion of wife to husband even when it's undeserved.

Then, there's pregnancy.

Did you know that some pregnancies can lead to broken ribs?

If you're happy with your single life, LIVE it. Don't let anyone shame or pressure you into marriage.

Few people enjoy their marriages yet they keep inviting people into it.
Why?
'Cause misery loves company.

Don't give in.

By the way, it's easier to get out of the arrangement if you just tell the guy and his goons this:

"I have prayed about it and the Holy Spirit revealed to me that Pastor A. is not the will of God for me."

Don't give in.

Chief adviser. Advising someone to lie against the spirit of God? Hmm... Jesus wept.

Have you assumed the position of the All-Knowing? Who appointed you judge over that man's character? Do you not know that in some churches, before you approach a sister to get into a committed and godly relationship, you may need to tell the shepherd of the assembly?