₦airaland Forum

JASONjnr:
Marriage is more than responsibilities...


Marriage is far from how you view and understand it.

Responsibilities is just a task. Marriage is a command from God.


I didn't understand marriage untill I planted a tomato at the backyard and I was always going every morning to observe and check for changes an watering it.

My friend thought it was all about watering it. But in real sense, it used to bring joy to me seeing that I was able to grow something and it was wonderful...

Need I say that I was stocking alot of it on the fridge and dashed some out? Later I also included pepper to the family and with eggs at home, I was always sure of a good breakfast....

The beautiful seeds the produced.



Like I said earlier....

Marriage isn't a responsibility.... If you're poor and stingy, you'll always have this mentality.

If you're not, you will enjoy its beauty!

You live in fantansy land, for a place like Nigeria I can say I have resided here long enough to conclude marriage definition here is all about bills. The populace is significantly poor due to terrible minimum wage and bad welfare, which is no existence. Couple that with poor infrastructure and security, marriage can only be equated to more like financial transaction. I have helped lots of couples who are friends with my wife and I have seen many marriages always on the verge due to lack of financial stability. So author the thread is absolutely correct.

But marriage is sweet with right partner

dontai:
don't mind them, how much is the minimum wage in this country and they thought all those statistics about Nigeria been one of the poorest country in the world world naa joke. Don't mind them everybody in this country loves forming Millionaires. You have money self married women still dey f around, if you no come have money nkó, that one naa die because disrespecting will now join.

Marriage is also a dream killer.

They don’t know my brother. I’m not even doing salary work oo. How much are they paying people doing salary work? Even banks don’t pay much at the moment. You’ve said it all!

Marriage is also a dream killer - you can say that again my brother!

seanwilliam:
I’m equally scared just as you . As a single young man, anytime I spend , I always think of how to replenish.. sometime I’ll calculate and calculate and calculate before I spend on myself even though “ I have enough in my acc”. Fear of going broke, fear of inability to cater for my present and prospective family , fear of not meeting up with the standard the society sets for a man, fear of marrying the Wolf in sheep skin , all these things fear me pass death

-(((((()))))))))))))))))))))))
Guy, we men have to be honest with yourselves. Speaking from experience never marry your other half if she or he is not self sufficient.. Being a religious person or weak gender should not be the only deciding factor in sustaining a marriage.
As a man, you will loose your job, income or become incapable due to illness or temporary loss of employment. You need a spouse that can help, stay calm and provide an anchor or support during this testing period.
Unfortunately, most of our modern women are not prigramme or willing to provide for their spouse when things get tough.
Kudos to those that do. I know plenty women that are secured and have provided for their family degrading the man. Is understand and believes the man will bounce back. Loyalty from a woman is paramount...
For the few that disrespect or walk away from their relationship.. It creates mistrust, betrayal and feelings of exploitation...
There are good women. Choose carefully l partner that can work and collaborate with you.
Marriage or relationship should not be a poverty elevation programme..

Acidosis:
Are you kidding? 100k in two months and you're complaining? Guy! 😃

the thing weak me
Money that most families spends in 2 weeks
I bet if the op has children of trainable age at university level by now he would be using his head to walk!
Seems his children are still in primary school
He has not even jam responsibility

orikoku:
But marriage is sweet with right partner

na your money kill am

Sapeleomi:
-(((((()))))))))))))))))))))))
Guy, we men have to be honest with yourselves. Speaking from experience never marry your other half if she or he is not self sufficient.. Being a religious person or weak gender should not be the only deciding factor in sustaining a marriage.
As a man, you will loose your job, income or become incapable due to illness or temporary loss of employment. You need a spouse that can help, stay calm and provide an anchor or support during this testing period.
Unfortunately, most of our modern women are not prigramme or willing to provide for their spouse when things get tough.
Kudos to those that do. I know plenty women that are secured and have provided for their family degrading the man. Is understand and believes the man will bounce back. Loyalty from a woman is paramount...
For the few that disrespect or walk away from their relationship.. It creates mistrust, betrayal and feelings of exploitation...
There are good women. Choose carefully l partner that can work and collaborate with you.
Marriage or relationship should not be a poverty elevation programme..

omo. This is a shocking reality

achimendy:
I guess you don't understand the meaning of the word preparation and planning I used earlier.

preparation and planning means you are ready for anything that comes your way. Take the responsibilities in good faith!

TheMaterialist:
You guys might complain about marriage,
but if you are very rich, marriage can be heaven
on earth.

Very funny. Who's richer than bill gates, Jeff bezoz, elon musk and some others that their marriage packed up. Abeg nothing de marriage people eyes de see clearly as time goes...

pocohantas:
I was shocked to see the 100k but I restrained myself because fingers are not equal. I am not sure I can do 50k in a month _less than $100. Maybe that is why I am a gold-digger. I wouldn’t like my husband to create thread over 50k a month. 😩

The problem is not even the amount, it is his attitude to the institution of marriage. If he is happily married or wants to be happily married, then he would know that his issue is low income and work with his wife to increase their earnings.

Or create a thread on how to make more income.

If this OP generates more income today, he would look for something else to complain about in his marriage/marriage in general.

To him, marriage is not worth it (to his wife). That is the foundation of his problem.

Isabi4lov:
I'm not an advocate of babymama , those that got married legally and still enjoying their marriages, they did not come to this world with two heads .

how much be your bride price? make I cum payam sharp sharp

bukatyne:
The problem is not even the amount, it is his attitude to the institution of marriage. If he is happily married or wants to be happily married, then he would know that his issue is low income and work with his wife to increase their earnings.

Or create a thread on how to make more income.

If this OP generates more income today, he would look for something else to complain about in his marriage/marriage in general.

To him, marriage is not worth it (to his wife). That is the foundation of his problem.

We know his type, Buka. Instead of him to go work out how they can increase their income, he ran to tell us marriage is not worth it and his comrades gathered to feast on it. Best believe that young man hasn’t lived with a pet, let alone a wife/kids. Even single people have these recurring expenses.

The way they are always quick to demonise marriage. Leave the marriage na, no way! Nawa!

mkoabiola:
Honestly, I wish I married earlier and have kid at an early age. Very painful

late bloomer

bonnyhope:
This thread is not for slay queens
Keep off

Thank you.

Killbillz:
Bro no matter the matter is she contributing or na ur head everything fall put
Haa inlaw money? na dues too? I cut cap for una when dey married. No be joke... It's well

don't you want to enjoy the wife of your youth

myami:
how much be your bride price? make I cum payam sharp sharp

No be only sharp sharp na panasharp 😜

Adexgentle005:
I could have kids without getting married. What’s meeting with expectations of life? And yes I would be a happier single man at my age. I’m still young!

Same thoughts with me bro, being married isn't an easy task especially when you are still young

Adexgentle005:
They don’t know my brother. I’m not even doing salary work oo. How much are they paying people doing salary work? Even banks don’t pay much at the moment. You’ve said it all!

Marriage is also a dream killer - you can say that again my brother!

they keep mentioning side hustle, double your income, to do what? to be able to cater for the unending/unaccountable expenditures. When someone used his life to work multiple jobs, maybe they haven't heard about "wear and tear", married men are like machines.

Adexgentle005:
My brother I couldn’t believe I’ve spent 100k in just two months. Money for this, money for that. It’s really crazy out there! Sometimes I think about that too, is it not better to be single and have peace of mind?

🤣🤣🤣 just small 100k in 2 months. Me that my average weekly expense dey reach 35-45k. Between Friday to Sunday(today) more than 28k has vanished from my account.

Just pray for abundance ni. Bcoz the expenses won't go down 🤣 no be curse ooo na reality.

Anyway, I pray to God to continue to meet our needs. You are bless and have a flourishing week.

UyaiIncomparabl:
You people don’t just like truths. 100k and you are complaining. Wake me up when you start spending over 500K every month on just family expenses. If your skin no full, no put body, abeg. Marriage no be for boys.

madam, what kind of wife will you become when you marry?

pocohantas:
We know his type, Buka. Instead of him to go work out how they can increase their income, he ran to tell us marriage is not worth it and his comrades gathered to feast on it. Best believe that young man hasn’t lived with a pet, let alone a wife/kids. Even single people have these recurring expenses.

The way they are always quick to demonise marriage. Leave the marriage na, no way! Nawa!

@bold:

As in!

🤣 @ he hasn't lived with a pet or wife & kids.

myami:
don't you want to enjoy the wife of your youth

I do

Adexgentle005:
I didn’t say my wife supports me financially like that. She’s using her own money for other things I couldn’t get her. She’s not even an understanding person. She believes it’s my responsibility to provide and if I couldn’t do it she wakes away!

But all you said are nothing but the truth. It is what it is!

Is it not your responsibility to provide before? Who should provide if not you? You men are very confused species. You want the benefits that come with a traditional marriage setting but jump from its responsibilities. Talk about wanting to eat your cake and have it back. Can’t work. It’s why would be couples should trash matters such as this out during the dating phase. Questions such as;

1) Do you believe in gender roles?
2) Is my money your money and your money yours?
3) Are you a traditional woman/man or you aren’t?

You can’t eat your cake and have it back. Provide for your family. It’s the burden of performance you were cursed with. Stop whining.

Adexgentle005:
Nothing guarantees you’d be rich staying single is an understatement. But you won’t have to worry about anything while single.

From my experience, I became more financially stable when I got married. The funny thing is the hustle became lighter compared to when I was still single.

Adexgentle005:
Nothing guarantees you’d be rich staying single is an understatement. But you won’t have to worry about anything while single.

From my experience, I became financially stable when I got married, and my hustle became lighter compared to when I was single

IyaebeTheGreat:
And who told you it’s normal to have kids without getting married, which religion permits that? You won’t be young forever,and since you started early believe me you’ll be glad you did at the later stage of your life. Just endure the current situation of the country and be hopeful that it won’t last forever. I understand the angle you are coming from.

Religion?? LMAO!

Katcall:
madam, what kind of wife will you become when you marry?

My man is a traditional man to the core. He’s a provider man to the last. My job is to revel in his provision and leadership, and we are good. He expects NOTHING from me. Not even a N5 of mine. My job is to be submissive and be an agreeable partner and whatever that follows is inconsequential.

To answer your question, I am an ORIAKU and my man likes it that way. Nothing concern me with splitting bills. Sorry, but I believe in gender roles.

sslcrypt:
You live in fantansy land, for a place like Nigeria I can say I have resided here long enough to conclude marriage definition here is all about bills. The populace is significantly poor due to terrible minimum wage and bad welfare, which is no existence. Couple that with poor infrastructure and security, marriage can only be equated to more like financial transaction. I have helped lots of couples who are friends with my wife and I have seen many marriages always on the verge due to lack of financial stability. So author the thread is absolutely correct.

Tell them bro. I can’t count how many couples I have helped due to lack of financial stability. They don’t always have mental or any romantic problem. Their problem is all about money all the time!

bjnice:
From my experience, I became more financially stable when I got married. The funny thing is the hustle became lighter compared to when I was still single.

That is what companionship and a supportive spouse does. Nothing do you. Let the others keep whining.

UyaiIncomparabl:
My man is a traditional man to the core. He’s a provider man to the last. My job is to revel in his provision and leadership, and we are good. He expects NOTHING from me. Not even a N5 of mine. My job is to be submissive and be an agreeable partner and whatever that follows is inconsequential.

To answer your question, I am an ORIAKU and my man likes it that way. Nothing concern me with splitting bills. Sorry, but I believe in gender roles.

Lol, this is funny. What’s your being submissive going to do in the marriage? What if your husband starves you death due to lack of money you won’t japa? Dey play!

Adexgentle005:
That’s just the fact! When I was a bachelor, I know how much I spend and save every month. Fast forward to when I got married, it’s all about bills, bills and bills.

I just checked my OPay transaction history and I couldn’t believe how much I’ve spent in just two months.

This thing called marriage is just responsibility and nothing more. If you are not financially stable or you have other side hustle that bring extra money,please don’t get married.



My 2 cents!

Small boy got married.
A kid will always destroy whatever you give him, that's the truth, u may not like what I said, nothing is important to a kid.
And you are one.

It is what it is.

Kobojunkie:
1. The most probable reason your family can't afford this and that has mostly to do with decisions you made in marriage. So, it isn't marriage that is the issue but you and your wife. They say two heads are better than one but if both heads are joined in a situation where they cannot possibly be better than 1 head, what does that tell you of the two heads? .

Stop blaming marriage for your choices abeg!

You have spoken the truth my dear.