Themainboy22:
I did not know that one needs to enter there with money which they called "cell-show".

As the officer threw me inside the cell, You need to see how these guys rushed me with the question "where your cell-show?", I asked the presidio what is "cell-show", these pounced on me saying I was challenging their No 1 .

They beat me to a point and one guy asked me na wetin I bring for them? I said nothing. The other guy slapped me and said; "so you dey come visit us with empty handed? here resemble your father house? " that was when I understood what they were talking about.

Anyways, I told them I had no money with me there but will go out to the counter the next day and sign it out cash. That was how the beatings stopped and allowed me to partake with what others brought.

Afterwards, I was made to sing one of their popular songs titled "Oje nga, Anya ga Ahù gî îwa, you don enter, to commot no easy"
very funny song.

It was not a plausible experience though, but whenever I remember it, I can't help but Lmao.

At a point you'll feel you're in a psychiatrist home or been detained with mad people.

They'll wake up early in the morning and start shouting in the name of prayer. The same pattern of prayers everyday . After the prayers, back to their normal quarreling and fighting.

PS; If you're going to jail (which is not my prayers for... ) pray not to be detained together with The mad ones (inmates).

the very first day I enter nah my boxers Dem first exchange, when I comot for state cid cell after some days my jeans shirt and watch wey I put for police officer office Dem thief am, nah police Dem thief my things nah only boxers I take reach house. Nigeria is terrible I swear.

I was wrongly arrested alongside some six bad boys.
I cooperated with the boys as if we know each other for long.
Within two days we dethroned the Presido infact one of the boys is already a regular customer.
I was later released four days later and my boss man sued the police to court based on my human rights.
The boys were later transferred to the state CID anti kidnapping cell. Dunno what became of them
It's a long story sha

Blupen969:
Headbasher96 me self na for hq dem go drop me but nobody beat me cus you no go fit touch me nah, if you see my face self you go know say na me pastors deh give their own tithe bros i no get joy at all

Abeg help us go beat MC alumni for Lagos

Here to Read comments, but wait o Na only guys dey go cell??

One single female never drop comment about their experience. 😂

Blupen969:
Zonefree i swear cell funny, una go just deh new person go enter with different story of how them take catch am lols

What of the disgusting smell

One particular evening I went out to do POS Transaction. After inputting my pin, 3 men from SARS Came towards me, at first I thought it was armed robbers. I don Dey already shout thieve thieve, until one use slap dumb me. 🤣🤣🤣

Omo I slap the guy back ASAP. That was the beginning of a very long story. The money I withdrew was collected from me, when I got to the cell I had no cash to settle the current presido. Omo these guys beat me tire.

After spending almost 5 days in cell I was released. I later saw one of the guys that dealt with me on my street. I made sure the guy spent his weekend in Hospital.

Zonefree:

The leader of a cell is called Presido. Just carry your "cell show" enter, you'll be welcomed.

If you want to enjoy cell (lol), just pray make them detain you and your friends inside the same cell. Una fit dethrone the Presido sef

Only me dethrone the presido with my fat lies. They asked what was my offence, I told them I killed two soldiers during robbery attack and they all clear way for me...the second day I was released by the DPO and they were amazed... Any time i remember I dey laf myself out loud.

Person like me wey no get experience go just dey laugh. But with weting I dey read make we no see weting go carry us go prison

My own experience with prison was when I used to evangelize to inmates back then.



The experience alone was enough to give me nightmares despite never having been locked up before.




My prayer remains that I not be so unlucky to find myself in prison.




Aside the fact that freedom is precious, the deplorable conditions in which inmates live is scary.




Another scary thing is that most inmates are awaiting trial. Many of them don't even know why they are there because the police never made proper arrests. Even those who think they know would narrate stories that led them there.




I use this opportunity to tell every reader here to always pray every morning before stepping out of the house. The Hausa beggars always say one prayer: "Akoba adaba, olorun ma je a ri". This means that God should protect us from any matter that we know nothing about.




If you listen to the stories of some inmates, you would understand the importance of that prayer. How can you explain that someone landed in prison since 2004 and was still there around 2012 when I happened to evangelize at that prison, simply because thieves broke into a warehouse where he was security guard? The most painful thing about this story is that he was not even the one that was supposed to be on duty that night. The boss called him while the poor man was home relaxing with his family, that the other security guard's wife was in labour and so he could not come. The man left home in 2004 and had yet to return home in 2012, languishing away in an awaiting cell.




Another man spent two weeks in awaiting cell because he happened to be head of a department where some money had disappeared. If not that the culprit was discovered after a few days, he might still be in that cell now waiting for the time when he would finally appear before a judge.

Dopeyomi:
Here to Read comments, but wait o Na only guys dey go cell??

One single female never drop comment about their experience. 😂

Land of the ex convicts.

Tinubu, Orji Uzor, Bode George and co go soon join una here to share their experience.

Me police station were I go na when some guys snatch my car, I just went there to report only to find out that my car was already there, it was recovered by the police, I only spend 23k to take my car.

Nothing concerned me with cell.

The first time I for enter cell, I actually went to see a friend that was locked up, as them come de question me up n down, I come introduce myself as lieutenant dotun of 9th brigade, 21 .... Battalion of the Nigerian boys brigade, first them fear, then we continue I told them I will call my commandant to call the DCP for them.. I come de para, the tension don de high, one officer said you may be in the paramilitary, you are not in the arm corp, so I should never use espirit de corp to address them again... Na so one say I am impersonating personnels so I should be locked up... As we de drag, DPO (a lady) sent someone to ask what was happening, na so all of us go DPO office, for there, I introduced myself again, then the DPO asked his officers what was wrong with my intro, asked if that was why they wanted to throw me in cell... They sha brought my guy, then the DPO secured his release after this b*st*rds collected like 10k from us... Na so I miss cell experience...

See as ex inmates full this thread.... Boys dey commit well well.

Themainboy22:
I did not know that one needs to enter there with money which they called "cell-show".

As the officer threw me inside the cell, You need to see how these guys rushed me with the question "where your cell-show?", I asked the presidio what is "cell-show", these pounced on me saying I was challenging their No 1 .

They beat me to a point and one guy asked me na wetin I bring for them? I said nothing. The other guy slapped me and said; "so you dey come visit us with empty handed? here resemble your father house? " that was when I understood what they were talking about.

Anyways, I told them I had no money with me there but will go out to the counter the next day and sign it out cash. That was how the beatings stopped and allowed me to partake with what others brought.

Afterwards, I was made to sing one of their popular songs titled "Oje nga, Anya ga Ahù gî îwa, you don enter, to commot no easy"
very funny song.

It was not a plausible experience though, but whenever I remember it, I can't help but Lmao.

At a point you'll feel you're in a psychiatrist home or been detained with mad people.

They'll wake up early in the morning and start shouting in the name of prayer. The same pattern of prayers everyday . After the prayers, back to their normal quarreling and fighting.

PS; If you're going to jail (which is not my prayers for... ) pray not to be detained together with The mad ones (inmates).

At a point you'll feel you're in a psychiatrist home or been detained with mad people.

I sang 10 diff song for number one cos I no hold money.
Sleep in the cell for 2days.
God punish those ndlea for arresting me without any weed or drug on me

Blupen969:
First time I was detained in an open cell i managed to smuggle in my phone with me, after sitting idle for hours i brought out my phone and everyone was shocked lols.

Cellmates came to me to ask for favours to make important calls and in return deh remembered me when they buy what to eat, lols.

I was treated specially by the chairman of the cell and at night we smoked cigarette lol can't say cell is a good place to be but to me the one day experience was amazing lols

Criminal

My own na long story shaaa but the cell is not that bad,they even have toilet with running water.the station is at 7up junctn ohuru isimmiri Aba.we were like 7.no cell show paid.we dethroned the presido and the female police officers were only telling us not to fight even when they see us fighting. There is a guy that had been there for over a week because he had no 5k to bail himself out.people are really suffering in this country

police on mufti wey hide 4 bush, jump com out 4rm nowhere, hold me & 2 of my guys wey dey stroll go lunch break after work for Ajegunle there.

Come hear allegation!
Police say we dey smoke Igbo.
I say wwwwhhaaaattt!
We wey we Jez dey stroll Waka wit nothing 4 hand?

Cell wey dem put us na 2 in 1 type of cell, 2 compartment, one inner one 4 konk men men dem while dem put us jambitos 4 4rnt cell side.

d ogboru among dem 4 inner cell say if any police officer dey Waka pass d cell, say make we wey dey 4rnt grab am 4 neck, break am then collect cell keys 4rm officer pocket...
Rambo espionage prison break-out style, tinz wey be say na only 4 film ee fit happen oo.

Fear no let me burst laff mek prezido no tear me correct obara Chineke hott slap 4rm inner chamber.
I use eye do serious laffin!
Ever since then, I never ever hold better serious laff 4 belle reach like dat day own!


Oga 4 work com bail us out b4 dark dat same day!

2 other cell experiences dey wan side, not gonna share dat now!

I'm curious to find answers to a few questions though.
Where do inmates pee and defecate if there are no proper toilets?
Also, are there special prisons for notable persons in the society and corrupt politicians?
Also, are there prison facilities for those awaiting trials, or do such people also get banged up in the prisons for convicted criminals?
Are there functioning juvenile delinquencies for minor offenders in Nigeria? Emphasis is on "functioning"?

The cell compartments that I have seen in movies usually have ridiculously tiny windows, how do claustrophobic people cope without freaking out? This is by far my biggest fear. I have a crazy anxiety that stems from the fear of being kept in an insanely closed space.

How do inmates cope during the heat seasons when everywhere is just so hot esp in prisons up north where free citizens are literally burning out in their private residences even with their giant windows?

I would be grateful to find answers to the above questions. Kindly help!

The first of my countless cell experience was in '96. I was arrest for leading the fight against a rival school, Baptist high school.

in the cell, the presido used his hands to beat me 12 stroke for not taking my studies serious, few hours later the DPO ordered that i be released and taken to my principal. Immediately dem open cell gate na so i take off with speed

i later catch the presido for rainbow town sha, come put matchet for him head.

legba1:
See as ex inmates full this thread.... Boys dey commit well well.

Siddon mek pant dey wear u!

nawa

8 days in lion building plus over 200 days in ewon...

Story long, i go publish book about am just watch this space

opius:

Criminal

No time mr Opius

Omo
I took my time to read all the comments here is very interesting and funny
I visited my elder brother in cell shaa, da place too bad. Dem beat am shege bcox of no cell show .
He spent d weekend with, den on Monday I bought 3plates of rice and give it to him, he gave Dem 2 and ate 1.
The guys dea thanked me wela

Real niigas dey dis thread.

See me smiling remembering my experience at SARS on Works Road Ikeja.

Dead body surplus, plus Iku Raymond etc.

Bad experience though.

effort1:


What of the disgusting smell

Effort1 i swear that one bad and as me and my oga fight he break my nose ooh so e just be like say i reside in the same dimention with the awful smell

RPG2020:


Abeg help us go beat MC alumni for Lagos

RPG2020 How much una go pay me??

Funny thread I must confess..

As for me, it was my ex..

A mo please, kindly check back for update...

sacajawea:

How long has the leader of the cell been there ?
How many months or weeks?

sacajawea Bros abeg i no be him lawyer shift joor.....

mariahAngel:


Did you know ahead of time that you were going to get locked up?
How come you not only had your phone at the time, but you had time to smuggle it in?
What crime did you commit?

mariahAngel E be like say you don fall in love with me this one weh you just the ask me love questions?

1Alex:
no comma, no fullstop. No punctuations

Omooooo I thought I was the only one.

I no fit stress my brain abeg.