₦airaland Forum

seanwilliam:
But from the look of thing , largest part of his earnings goes to paying house bills . And I know as a woman, you still expect your man to have investments/savings for the future and plan ahead on how you’ll take care of kiddos.

With all this, knowing fully well he barely has anything left , would you still expect him to give you ‘extra cash’ time to time while you’re working and literally don’t contribute financially to house upkeep?.



Teach me how to navigate this.

yemmit90:
@EriMma1, if you work and earn a decent 6 figure, and you still dragging pocket money with your husband, then you must be a wicked useless wife. What on earth will you be doing with your monthly salary? I guess you will be spending it on yourself, family and personal developments, while the innocent son of another woman keep labouring to take care of you till he develop terminal stress or HBP and die before his time?

See, you are not doing him any favour by marrying him or give him sex, because he can always get the same favour without getting married to anyone. He only marries you as a partner, team player and assistant to run a family. Besides, he did not benefits more in this arrangement than you or has advantage over you in future, so why expecting him to carry all the loads alone while you earn decent income and not an handicap?

@op, if you spend all your youth days to satisfy ungrateful woman and fail to plan for your future, she will eventually spend her money on your children later in future when you must have gone broke or unable to make better money again and turn them against you at old age. She will made them believe you were useless ever since she married you. They will believes her because she is the one currently spending on them. By that time, her major focus would be to make you suffer and die alone.

A woman who earn in 6 figures but still expecting a mere pocket money from you does not love you, she is capable of doing something unimaginable to you in future.

EriMma1:
This is why I'll never marry an average income earner because they can complain and press calculator? See all of them here. Calculator pressers.
That is why i advise men not to get married until they have a high income job, to avoid all this kind of headache but no, that small thing dangling under can't wait to start eating what the big boys are eating. They just jump enter marriage with 120k salary and start punching calculator here and there.

So when it comes to giving your wife money, mathematics go enter am?. You can't give her money to maintain that same body you mount every now and then? Na him you turn financial expert seeker/adviser.? SMH. This generation of men have lost it.

Na this kind things make marriage no dey hungry me again because if all a man can offer is to panel-beat my body and not care whether knots and bolts don dey loose or find it difficult to give me when I request, then ill rather live singularly, work and take care of myself without stress or any body knacking me up and down with no benefits or care. abi you wan dey chop me make i no chop you back? Damn! Na wa o.

Oga, give her pocket money. Na that one she go take know say she marry. Men are supposed to spend on their wife's, working class or not. That is why igbos name their wifes Oriakum, "eater of my wealth". It is your obligation to spend on her. I'm guessing you're Yoruba otherwise mouth no go gree you come talk this kind thing outside. I'm sure all your supporters here na Yoruba men. Kobojunkie number one.

00FFT00:
Good advice, but you sidestepped the crux of his question, which is, whether his wife is right in her behavior or not.

Exodus15v11:
You're
-footing all the bills in the house
-buying all the food for the house
-placing her on 40k salary
-doing more than enough

It's not too much at all for her to use from her own money (she works and makes good salary) for any other little thing left, not ask for more money or for you to pay her back. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership in which you're both loving helpmates to each other, not one person mooching off the other completely. You're doing more than your own part, but sounds like you married someone who doesn't hold these values.

do4luv14:
■ If you believe that talk, Then you should prepare for the worst, marriage is a journey, A journey into the future, She can't sla> the responsibility of the house, bills, and Allowances on him alone, And when the Kids start coming, will she now ask for an increased allowance Or why do you think most men are encouraging their wives to work or do business

Femmyfamous4u:
Hello all, I need to know if I'm doing some things right or over reacting.

My wife and I just married some months ago and we just spend here and there on stuffs. I bought food stuffs in the house and told her I will place her on 40k monthly to cover for soups and all and I expect her to add to it if it's not enough.

I foot all bills- house rent, Power, and all . She earns a decent 6 figures salary also which is slightly higher than mine without the allowances I get.

She expects me to still give her another allowance apart from the 49k I give her for food.

Each time she buys stuff in the house she always want me to pay back in full; most times, I just pay a part of it which she always frowns and complains about.

It appears she has a notion that her money is her money and mine is ours.

My income is more than hers though.

Do you think I should still give her personal pocket money?

NoToPile:
SMH.

emmanuelewumi:
■ I love traditional men. It took a traditional man, 21 years into his marriage before he got to know that his wife was his landlady. Not knowing that the rent he had been paying in the last 5 years went to his wife The case is now in the court, the traditional man wanted to claim ownership of the property

BRATISLAVA:
Calculator brigade. Erimma1 is right. Boys that wail at women and money.

The only thing you see that should be equal in marriage is money. Gold diggers disguised as men looking for equality. Equality in only money and nothing else. There's only one type of man who wants equality in money.

Nazgul:
Didn't you guys date before getting married. Sometimes when I read questions like this, I do ask myself if you guys just met each other and got married the same day. Cos this my dear friend is what you should discuss with whoever you're planning a future with.

Also, your wife doesn't love you. Once you're dating a girl, and she feels it's odd to spend her money on you, kindly let her be. Cos such girl can never support you financially in marriage. The problem with a lot of foolish boys today is that they'll feel it's normal, many would even defend the girl if you try to advice them and tell you that it's a man's responsibility to take care of his woman.

But when reality begins to hit them in marriage, they'll be the first to complain...

My take is that your wife doesn't love you.

MartinsD12:
■ Not any more , not in this modern age , that's was the tradition of our forefathers not in this modern age , this tradition made the man to struggle alone while dying early , look around you , you will notice that our grand father's most of them are all dead , grand ma's are more , they are the one's to live to see the fruit of their labour the same labour that our grandparents put in place today they are no longer alive to reap the fruit of that labour rather it's grandma everywhere even in my own villa you hardly see grandpa alive because grandpa struggle to Carter for everything the family needs alone

History555:
Wat is wrong with today's men. Why will ur wife dictate to u. Let me tell you op, women hve no respect for men who are push over including their husband. Continue acting like a wimp

Praisepriest:
You won't have savings not to talk of a future. If your salary is ,#100. Feeding should be #40, give her #10. You too take #15, parents #10 invest the rest for future. Women will push you into well and claim innocency

emmanuelewumi:
I love traditional men. It took a traditional man, 21 years into his marriage before he got to know that his wife was his landlady. Not knowing that the rent he had been paying in the last 5 years went to his wife


The case is now in the court, the traditional man wanted to claim ownership of the property

poshestmina:
Her income is her 'pocket money' except you willingly want to occasionally pay for her hair ,buy her toiletries etc WILLINGLY!.

Femmyfamous4u:
Hello all, I need to know if I'm doing some things right or over reacting.

My wife and I just married some months ago and we just spend here and there on stuffs. I bought food stuffs in the house and told her I will place her on 40k monthly to cover for soups and all and I expect her to add to it if it's not enough.

I foot all bills- house rent, Power, and all . She earns a decent 6 figures salary also which is slightly higher than mine without the allowances I get.

She expects me to still give her another allowance apart from the 49k I give her for food.

Each time she buys stuff in the house she always want me to pay back in full; most times, I just pay a part of it which she always frowns and complains about.

It appears she has a notion that her money is her money and mine is ours.

My income is more than hers though.

Do you think I should still give her personal pocket money?

Femmyfamous4u:
Hello all, I need to know if I'm doing some things right or over reacting.

My wife and I just married some months ago and we just spend here and there on stuffs. I bought food stuffs in the house and told her I will place her on 40k monthly to cover for soups and all and I expect her to add to it if it's not enough.

I foot all bills- house rent, Power, and all . She earns a decent 6 figures salary also which is slightly higher than mine without the allowances I get.

She expects me to still give her another allowance apart from the 49k I give her for food.

Each time she buys stuff in the house she always want me to pay back in full; most times, I just pay a part of it which she always frowns and complains about.

It appears she has a notion that her money is her money and mine is ours.

My income is more than hers though.

Do you think I should still give her personal pocket money?

Kobojunkie:
1. I hate to be the one to break the bad news to you but most Nigerian men continue to embrace hypogamy in marriage — having the woman live as a liability in the union— as their right to sit as gods in marriage over their women, like their grandfathers and fathers before them.

ebenholer2:
BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP ON LIES CAN CAUSE MORE DAMAGE THAN GOOD. I WILL NOT IN ANYWAY SUPPORT YOU BEING UNTRUTHFUL TO YOUR SPOUSE NO MATTER WHAT. BRINGING TO THE UNDERSTANDING AND PRAYERFULLY CHANGE HER OBSESSION ARE WHAT IS NEEDED.

EriMma1:
This is why I'll never marry an average income earner because they can complain and press calculator? See all of them here. Calculator pressers.
That is why i advise men not to get married until they have a high income job, to avoid all this kind of headache but no, that small thing dangling under can't wait to start eating what the big boys are eating. They just jump enter marriage with 120k salary and start punching calculator here and there.

So when it comes to giving your wife money, mathematics go enter am?. You can't give her money to maintain that same body you mount every now and then? Na him you turn financial expert seeker/adviser.? SMH. This generation of men have lost it.

Na this kind things make marriage no dey hungry me again because if all a man can offer is to panel-beat my body and not care whether knots and bolts don dey loose or find it difficult to give me when I request, then ill rather live singularly, work and take care of myself without stress or any body knacking me up and down with no benefits or care. abi you wan dey chop me make i no chop you back? Damn! Na wa o.

Oga, give her pocket money. Na that one she go take know say she marry. Men are supposed to spend on their wife's, working class or not. That is why igbos name their wifes Oriakum, "eater of my wealth". It is your obligation to spend on her. I'm guessing you're Yoruba otherwise mouth no go gree you come talk this kind thing outside. I'm sure all your supporters here na Yoruba men. Kobojunkie number one.

Femmyfamous4u:
Hello all, I need to know if I'm doing some things right or over reacting.

My wife and I just married some months ago and we just spend here and there on stuffs. I bought food stuffs in the house and told her I will place her on 40k monthly to cover for soups and all and I expect her to add to it if it's not enough.

I foot all bills- house rent, Power, and all . She earns a decent 6 figures salary also which is slightly higher than mine without the allowances I get.

She expects me to still give her another allowance apart from the 49k I give her for food.

Each time she buys stuff in the house she always want me to pay back in full; most times, I just pay a part of it which she always frowns and complains about.

It appears she has a notion that her money is her money and mine is ours.

My income is more than hers though.

Do you think I should still give her personal pocket money?

Femmyfamous4u:
Hello all, I need to know if I'm doing some things right or over reacting.

My wife and I just married some months ago and we just spend here and there on stuffs. I bought food stuffs in the house and told her I will place her on 40k monthly to cover for soups and all and I expect her to add to it if it's not enough.

I foot all bills- house rent, Power, and all . She earns a decent 6 figures salary also which is slightly higher than mine without the allowances I get.

She expects me to still give her another allowance apart from the 49k I give her for food.

Each time she buys stuff in the house she always want me to pay back in full; most times, I just pay a part of it which she always frowns and complains about.

It appears she has a notion that her money is her money and mine is ours.

My income is more than hers though.

Do you think I should still give her personal pocket money?

MartinsD12:
I think you definitely don't understand what marriage is or maybe you are a kid , keep quiet boy, I have seen couples that unite and contribute their earnings for the running of the family, they plan and execute everything together, such marriage tend to last it's more sweeter .

Magnoliaa:
👀👀

zed7:
What is the meaning of traditional? I hate in when boys who can't keep a 2 weeks relationship dabble into adult talk.

Femmyfamous4u:
Hello all, I need to know if I'm doing some things right or over reacting.

My wife and I just married some months ago and we just spend here and there on stuffs. I bought food stuffs in the house and told her I will place her on 40k monthly to cover for soups and all and I expect her to add to it if it's not enough.

I foot all bills- house rent, Power, and all . She earns a decent 6 figures salary also which is slightly higher than mine without the allowances I get.

She expects me to still give her another allowance apart from the 49k I give her for food.

Each time she buys stuff in the house she always want me to pay back in full; most times, I just pay a part of it which she always frowns and complains about.

It appears she has a notion that her money is her money and mine is ours.

My income is more than hers though.

Do you think I should still give her personal pocket money?

MartinsD12:
In this case it's different, those men you mentioned might be well to do comfortable, but in op case he is not that comfortable he is a salary earner but his wife earns more than him yet doesn't want to contribute to family upkeep