₦airaland Forum

Staywithbina:
I don't wanna sound like a saint,this is a girl u re probably living with ,have u had any suspicions earlier ,both of you come home late ,have u noticed her making some cunny moves ,has she Gotten calls u weren't sure of ,now am a man that doesn't give a shit about a woman but then it doesn't feel like u give a damn about this girl,first to me it feels like she is going through something and probably doesn't want u to know cos she doesn't know how u will react to it,it could be that she was another man or not ,it could be she was where she she doesn't want u to know,what if she got pregnant and met with a doctor to see if she could abort it ,the only obvious thing here is that she was not at her work place ,which u did know because of the shooting ,what if she was at her work place at initial time and left after sometime ,omo u don't just quit people especially when u have not been suspecting them or when they have not given u the reason to suspect foul play ,I think you are the one with the problem here,you have not healed yet ,try to convince her to open up to you ,this is what ladies need,a man to share their plight and pains with , writing this ,am not a saint myself but omo it doesn't feel like you love the girl self ,you have been waiting for something like this to happen and it just did

koladata:
You have no idea who i am...

Onefornaija7:
I need advice please.


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Staywithbina:
And for the last part ,I will advice u to grow up,I was once like you ,but I worked on myself ,you bringing this here shows u re still a baby and no lady wants to be with a baby,the only reason you brought this here on nairaland is because u probably know she will see it , be a man and be in control of your emotions ,no be everything wey hungry you to do ,u must do ! And Finally my man ,before going into a new relationship ,try and heal of your past ,forgive yourself and stop blaming anyone ,forgive also those that have hurt u and become a better version of yourself ,no de carry hate for your heart ,drop that sense of entitlement and live a free life

DukeNija:
And the girl? No accountability? Completely exonerated right? So he’s the fall guy for a woman who failed in her responsibilities to her relationship. You’re deluded if you think you can police how people respond to hurt and disappointment. Maybe you’ll take it in your shin, but as long as he’s not physically or verbally abusing the girl, he could paste it anyhow he wants.

Megabig:
Is something wrong with this our generation because I saw how my parents had a great marriage just like most of their friends.


I think relationships are not meant for some people and we have to all understand that it’s ok to be single for the rest of your lives.
Why put so much pressure to get hooked with someone when you know your mind is probably somewhere else, is it desperation, greed or the insatiable nature of the human life?

So I dropped my ex at the Chinese cuisine (yes I have to be specific because she will read this and should know I wrote it)she works at on Tuesday,this is usually our routine since she starts work at 8am and I start at 9am to end at 5pm,she gets home late at 9pm sometime depending on her shift.
On Wednesday,we drove as usual and on getting to her workplace, there were 3 police cars and yellow ribbons crossed over there with some people in front of it.This colleague of hers immediately seeing us trying to park there said “there is no need y’all,some 14 year old came to the store and shoot up the whole place around 5pm yesterday”.
I was shocked because she should be at work too and how come she’s not aware of what we both are seeing and she tried shutting the lady up and I then further asked the lady why she also showed up since it happen yesterday and she ought to have known,she said because she’s scheduled to work today just like my babe and she was just looking at my ex,you know when you look at someone like “ hope everything is ok”?

My ex didn’t exit the car and I had to ask her where she was the previous day because I dropped her there at work,she started stammering that she went to see her lawyer,I then had to ask,so after seeing your lawyer at 5pm(which is obviously a lie because corporate mostly close at 5pm),you didn’t return to work because you ought to have known that someone was killed at your job, she then said she went home, then how did I get home before her because I close at 5pm and gets home before 6pm, I didn’t want her to keep blabbing,I immediately called her lawyers office and guess what guys?Her next appointment is June 12(Again,I wrote this so she can see it’s me).
I immediately started recording a video with my camera faced down and repeated every question and she answered just in case she goes to court and I’ll nail the devil.
I sha took my key from the evil,cashapped her money to take a train to her brothers place.Till today she never reach her bros place because he called and said she’s not picking and she is constantly texting.

This is a girl that got to America two years ago(I didn’t bring her)and just doing menial job for now while she work on getting her documents and also,she’s not paying rent(In todays America),I was even planning on doing something serious before the year runs out because normally,she seem homely, peaceful and seem quite calm unlike most party-prone babes we have around(E be like na this one’s worst).

What shocked me most was that I didn’t even get angry, I was just disappointed that I wasted my time but it didn’t seem like I lost something(why is that?).

Another trust shattered… smh

Staywithbina:
I don't wanna sound like a saint,this is a girl u re probably living with ,have u had any suspicions earlier ,both of you come home late ,have u noticed her making some cunny moves ,has she Gotten calls u weren't sure of ,now am a man that doesn't give a shit about a woman but then it doesn't feel like u give a damn about this girl,first to me it feels like she is going through something and probably doesn't want u to know cos she doesn't know how u will react to it,it could be that she was another man or not ,it could be she was where she she doesn't want u to know,what if she got pregnant and met with a doctor to see if she could abort it ,the only obvious thing here is that she was not at her work place ,which u did know because of the shooting ,what if she was at her work place at initial time and left after sometime ,omo u don't just quit people especially when u have not been suspecting them or when they have not given u the reason to suspect foul play ,I think you are the one with the problem here,you have not healed yet ,try to convince her to open up to you ,this is what ladies need,a man to share their plight and pains with , writing this ,am not a saint myself but omo it doesn't feel like you love the girl self ,you have been waiting for something like this to happen and it just did

Staywithbina:
Omo u re sick oooo,u need a doctor ,so many mad people ..hahahab

phorget:
Hmmmmmm!
If I talk wetin my eye and neck see for relationship I swear nairaland server go shut down till 2030...

cocolacec:
I think you jumped into conclusions,she was never caught red handed with another man.She could be afraid of opening up somethings to you for fear of being dumped.There is no guarantee sge went to a man's place unless you caught her in the act.She could be at a friend's place.
Communication is the key.

JeffreyJunior:
Few takeaways from your post.

1. She might or might not have visited another man for sex. No evidence to support that she cheated on you. Everybody knows the plight of undocumented Nigerians in America especially ladies. It's not always easy for them. They meet all kinds of people for help and it seems you don't offer much to her except free housing.

2. You are full of pride as a man and you are controlling too. You want her to worship you but don't bother to see what it feels like to be in her shoes. You think she is in America to serve you and be a good girlfriend? Bros, she has people at home calling her everyday for one thing or the other. She needs to get that green card by hook or by crook which is what you too would do in her shoes. I'm not saying she should be a prostitute while at it.

3. You don't love that girl, you are only using her simply because she is currently vulnerable and available to you. This is why you quickly pushed her away without listening to her side of the story even if it was a lie.

4. She may be cheating but you sef have plenty other problems to work on as a person.

Shalom

DukeNija:
I don’t need to know you to conclude that based off your post, you’re a simp.

DukeNija:
You’re a clown for blaming a man who was betrayed by his live-in girlfriend. People like you shouldn’t be allowed to interact with intelligent humans. Bloody SiMp

EriMma1:
So, she can't go anywhere else when she's off duty? It has to be your place? I'm not understanding....
How are you sure she went to see a man just because she was not at work nor your place on that day? The way you men conclude some times enh?

She may just want time alone but didn't know how to tell you and then seized the opportunity to do so during her off duty. Maybe you're the clingy type of boyfriend that always wants her to be around. No time for herself or don't you know we sometimes need a break from too much gum body?

I remember I used to do it to my guy then. I'll just run and go to my elder sisters place and spend a month. if you see the way he'll be calling me to come back to area ( we lived in the same area while my sister was in faraway Okoko) like I've been gone for a year. Those alone moments is usually refreshing abeg. Free the girl and stop overeacting.

Staywithbina:
And for the last part ,I will advice u to grow up,I was once like you ,but I worked on myself ,you bringing this here shows u re still a baby and no lady wants to be with a baby,the only reason you brought this here on nairaland is because u probably know she will see it , be a man and be in control of your emotions ,no be everything wey hungry you to do ,u must do ! And Finally my man ,before going into a new relationship ,try and heal of your past ,forgive yourself and stop blaming anyone ,forgive also those that have hurt u and become a better version of yourself ,no de carry hate for your heart ,drop that sense of entitlement and live a free life

koladata:
You have no idea who i am...

phorget:
Hmmmmmm!
If I talk wetin my eye and neck see for relationship I swear nairaland server go shut down till 2030...

koladata:
did you read the part where i said they can't be close friends again? or you just want to abuse me like the normal nairaland culture. I use quora and i don't get all these kind of bashing on that site. i got a six figure contract January 2nd this year from an ex i left 5years ago , so why the hard feelings. The older we get the more we need people we've come across in our lives. Shift abeg

JeffreyJunior:
Few takeaways from your post.

1. She might or might not have visited another man for sex. No evidence to support that she cheated on you. Everybody knows the plight of undocumented Nigerians in America especially ladies. It's not always easy for them. They meet all kinds of people for help and it seems you don't offer much to her except free housing.

2. You are full of pride as a man and you are controlling too. You want her to worship you but don't bother to see what it feels like to be in her shoes. You think she is in America to serve you and be a good girlfriend? Bros, she has people at home calling her everyday for one thing or the other. She needs to get that green card by hook or by crook which is what you too would do in her shoes. I'm not saying she should be a prostitute while at it.

3. You don't love that girl, you are only using her simply because she is currently vulnerable and available to you. This is why you quickly pushed her away without listening to her side of the story even if it was a lie.

4. She may be cheating but you sef have plenty other problems to work on as a person.

Shalom

EastAlchemist:
Abeg if you be the girlfriend way him dump
And you’re reading this
I love you
Which part of America you Dey Biko

Staywithbina:
Omo you can't intimidate me,if u can't make your point clear without acting uncivil,I don't care ,am not ur problem .. normally that's how baby's cry and it normal for them to cry

Megabig:
Is something wrong with this our generation because I saw how my parents had a great marriage just like most of their friends.


I think relationships are not meant for some people and we have to all understand that it’s ok to be single for the rest of your lives.
Why put so much pressure to get hooked with someone when you know your mind is probably somewhere else, is it desperation, greed or the insatiable nature of the human life?

So I dropped my ex at the Chinese cuisine (yes I have to be specific because she will read this and should know I wrote it)she works at on Tuesday,this is usually our routine since she starts work at 8am and I start at 9am to end at 5pm,she gets home late at 9pm sometime depending on her shift.
On Wednesday,we drove as usual and on getting to her workplace, there were 3 police cars and yellow ribbons crossed over there with some people in front of it.This colleague of hers immediately seeing us trying to park there said “there is no need y’all,some 14 year old came to the store and shoot up the whole place around 5pm yesterday”.
I was shocked because she should be at work too and how come she’s not aware of what we both are seeing and she tried shutting the lady up and I then further asked the lady why she also showed up since it happen yesterday and she ought to have known,she said because she’s scheduled to work today just like my babe and she was just looking at my ex,you know when you look at someone like “ hope everything is ok”?

My ex didn’t exit the car and I had to ask her where she was the previous day because I dropped her there at work,she started stammering that she went to see her lawyer,I then had to ask,so after seeing your lawyer at 5pm(which is obviously a lie because corporate mostly close at 5pm),you didn’t return to work because you ought to have known that someone was killed at your job, she then said she went home, then how did I get home before her because I close at 5pm and gets home before 6pm, I didn’t want her to keep blabbing,I immediately called her lawyers office and guess what guys?Her next appointment is June 12(Again,I wrote this so she can see it’s me).
I immediately started recording a video with my camera faced down and repeated every question and she answered just in case she goes to court and I’ll nail the devil.
I sha took my key from the evil,cashapped her money to take a train to her brothers place.Till today she never reach her bros place because he called and said she’s not picking and she is constantly texting.

This is a girl that got to America two years ago(I didn’t bring her)and just doing menial job for now while she work on getting her documents and also,she’s not paying rent(In todays America),I was even planning on doing something serious before the year runs out because normally,she seem homely, peaceful and seem quite calm unlike most party-prone babes we have around(E be like na this one’s worst).

What shocked me most was that I didn’t even get angry, I was just disappointed that I wasted my time but it didn’t seem like I lost something(why is that?).

Another trust shattered… smh

koladata:
sorry about your experience bro, going by what you described about her, i think there's something she's not comfortable with about you and she's trying to way her options, she might not be as bad as you think, sit her down, you guys can't be friends again but you don't have to block each other, once in a while hello and hi is not bad.. most of them are the same, learn to remember them for the few good they did and move on without hard feelings.

DukeNija:
Nobody is intimidating you. You failed to address the girl’s insincerity but focused on blaming the young man for his reactions. The girl was clearly lying, and most likely cheating on him. She was caught and he IMO handled it pretty maturely.

torqque7:
Sorry bro..this hoes ain’t loyal..

Megabig:
Is something wrong with this our generation because I saw how my parents had a great marriage just like most of their friends.


I think relationships are not meant for some people and we have to all understand that it’s ok to be single for the rest of your lives.
Why put so much pressure to get hooked with someone when you know your mind is probably somewhere else, is it desperation, greed or the insatiable nature of the human life?

So I dropped my ex at the Chinese cuisine (yes I have to be specific because she will read this and should know I wrote it)she works at on Tuesday,this is usually our routine since she starts work at 8am and I start at 9am to end at 5pm,she gets home late at 9pm sometime depending on her shift.
On Wednesday,we drove as usual and on getting to her workplace, there were 3 police cars and yellow ribbons crossed over there with some people in front of it.This colleague of hers immediately seeing us trying to park there said “there is no need y’all,some 14 year old came to the store and shoot up the whole place around 5pm yesterday”.
I was shocked because she should be at work too and how come she’s not aware of what we both are seeing and she tried shutting the lady up and I then further asked the lady why she also showed up since it happen yesterday and she ought to have known,she said because she’s scheduled to work today just like my babe and she was just looking at my ex,you know when you look at someone like “ hope everything is ok”?

My ex didn’t exit the car and I had to ask her where she was the previous day because I dropped her there at work,she started stammering that she went to see her lawyer,I then had to ask,so after seeing your lawyer at 5pm(which is obviously a lie because corporate mostly close at 5pm),you didn’t return to work because you ought to have known that someone was killed at your job, she then said she went home, then how did I get home before her because I close at 5pm and gets home before 6pm, I didn’t want her to keep blabbing,I immediately called her lawyers office and guess what guys?Her next appointment is June 12(Again,I wrote this so she can see it’s me).
I immediately started recording a video with my camera faced down and repeated every question and she answered just in case she goes to court and I’ll nail the devil.
I sha took my key from the evil,cashapped her money to take a train to her brothers place.Till today she never reach her bros place because he called and said she’s not picking and she is constantly texting.

This is a girl that got to America two years ago(I didn’t bring her)and just doing menial job for now while she work on getting her documents and also,she’s not paying rent(In todays America),I was even planning on doing something serious before the year runs out because normally,she seem homely, peaceful and seem quite calm unlike most party-prone babes we have around(E be like na this one’s worst).

What shocked me most was that I didn’t even get angry, I was just disappointed that I wasted my time but it didn’t seem like I lost something(why is that?).

Another trust shattered… smh