It's draining dealing with my mom everytime she comes to the city to stay in the same house with me. I live in my elder sister's house but she (my sister) stays abroad with her family. I am the last child and I am not married. I work from home though. My mum visits here once in a while. Anytime she comes around she does a lot of things that spoils my mood. For instance, she doesn't like taking her children's advice no matter how important it is to them. She likes having her way all the time. And when we try to stop her, she guilt trips us and emotionally blackmails us.

I have other siblings who do not live with me but they used to come around with their children anytime mom is around. My father is back home and hardly visits. She doesn't listen to my dad if he advices her.

Mom will first and foremost get someone upset, and when the person complains, she will watch out for one negative word that will slip out from your mouth and use it to emotionally blackmail you. She will cry because of what you said to her until you feel guilty and beg her to forgive you. She also likes reporting her child to another of her child without minding if it would damage their relationship.

She likes making her child feel bad so long as she has her way and she is happy. She pays no attention to the feelings of her children anytime she wants anything. For instance, My mom can make you spend money on something that she already has. Sometimes she will drag for something that she doesn't even need. She feels as a mother all her children must make her happy else they don't like her.

Also, She is terrible with conversations both on phone and physically. If you try to have a one on one talk with her, she will make the conversation very unpleasant because she will keep interrupting, next thing she will cry or she will get up and leave you.

She never sees her fault. Even if she apologies, she would do the same thing again and blame you for making her do it.

If she comes around and everywhere is peaceful, after a short while argument will begin which may lead to a fight.

This is because she likes jamming one person with another person and eventually make them quarel. She enjoys adding words that was never in the conversation when she is reporting somebody to another perosn. Most times those words are very hurting and will lead to a fight. And when the fight begins, she will start crying. Sometimes she would intentionally fall on the ground while trying to separate a fight, just to make sure everybody runs helter-skelter trying to get her up on her feet.

She has blood pressure issues, hence she uses that as a weapon to guilt-trip her children so they can succumb to her demands. For instance, if she says things that are not true about her child to another of her child and the person finds out, once you confront her, she would say " don't query me oh, shey you know my blood pressure would soon go up. I didn't kill my mother, don't kill me oh." Or she will just start crying and say the person hates her and what was said isn't true, and that she never said anything like that. She denies the things she says that are bad soon after she says them.

Gosh, I am just tired of my mom. I feel like packing out of this house, blocking her and not letting her come close to me because of how emotionally draining it is everytime she comes around.

Patience is a virtue, and the Bible says "honour thy father and thy mother, that your days might be long on earth". You can't bless her, she can bless you. You choose...

All these fault for one person? Who needs a mum like this?

Be patient with her, one day she will no longer be here. Make good use of the time she's with you and create lovely memories even though I know it's hard considering what you just typed but tryyyyyy.

You can never have it all good in this life.

She is your mum, avoiding won't change that rather it will fuel her manipulations.

Simply keep tolerating her as much as you can and if she can read text messages on phone, send her your frustration after she goes back to the village. Let her ponder on that.

Also, if you can get all your siblings to take one stand and caution her, she will stop her shenanigans.

Mad man wey dey dance for market na because someone dey watch am. Once everyone decides to face their front for market, he go get sense by force.

Are you sure about all these

Mama. Is too. Toxic I swear.

Your mom is the real drama queen…


She sounds interesting.

I like her… never a dull moment!

Pls don’t query me oh… sh3 you know my blood pressure will rise?

whyteteeth:
■Gosh, I am just tired of my mom. I feel like packing out of this house, blocking her and not letting her come close to me because of how emotionally draining it is everytime she comes around.

1. OP, I put it to you that your mother is not your problem. Rather you are your own problem. You already have all this wonderful detailed rundown of who your mother is, yet you continue to allow her get to you — push your buttons so very easily. Why the fk would you be doing that to your own fking self for , for Pete's sake? Do you wan die of BP before the woman ni? You know all this and e never occur to you say you can easily push the ignore button on her and move on yourself? This is like having an expo for an exam yet continuing to fail.

Your mother is who she is and there is nothing you can do to change her at this point in time. I wouldn't even recommend you attempt to change an adult, as that is like a quick ticket to one's grave. There is however something you can do about you and it isn't to run away but to work on your emotional issues and triggers so she can no longer get them so easily. And know that it is not wrong to love people from afar too!

Some of what you said of your mum kind of reminds me of what my mum tried to do at some point but quickly gave up on when she realized that I wasn't interested in any of that nonsense at all, and had no time to waste listening to any of the bullsheet nonsense.

Since you all know all these about her, why do you guys still fight each other over her reported speech? Could it be you all strive to be the favorite/loving when she visits otherwise, at this point, such issues shouldn't be coming up.

JeffreyJunior:
You can never have it all good in this life.

She is your mum, avoiding won't change that rather it will fuel her manipulations.

Simply keep tolerating her as much as you can and if she can read text messages on phone, send her your frustration after she goes back to the village. Let her ponder on that.

Also, if you can get all your siblings to take one stand and caution her, she will stop her shenanigans.

Mad man wey dey dance for market na because someone dey watch am. Once everyone decides to face their front for market, he go get sense by force.

Oga what are you insinuating ,
You mean say mama get kolo

GboyegaD:
■ Since you all know all these about her, why do you guys still fight each other over her reported speech? Could it be you all strive to be the favorite/loving when she visits otherwise, at this point, such issues shouldn't be coming up.

Help me ask abeg!

I respect your dad for living with her over the years, na man he be.use wisdom run matter with her and your dad is in best person that can give it to you

moadxist2:
Patience is a virtue, and the Bible says "honour thy father and thy mother, that your days might be long on earth". You can't bless her, she can bless you. You choose...

Hoax

The man that lived with this woman is a hero indeed! Chai! Tell me he took off pls!

whyteteeth:
It's draining dealing with my mom everytime she comes to the city to stay in the same house with me. I live in my elder sister's house but she (my sister) stays abroad with her family. I am the last child and I am not married. I work from home though. My mum vists here once in a while. Anytime she comes around she does a lot of things that spoils my mood. For instance, she doesn't like taking her children's advice no matter how important it is to them. She likes having her way all the time. And when we try to stop her, she guilt trips us and emotionally blackmails us.

I have other siblings who do not live with me but they used to come around with their children anytime mom is around. My father is back home and hardly visits. She doesn't listen to my dad if he advices her.

Mom will first and foremost get someone upset, and when the person complains, she will watch out for one negative word that will slip out from your mouth and use it to emotionally blackmail you. She will cry because of what you said to her until you feel guilty and beg her to forgive you. She also likes reporting her child to another of her child without minding if it would damage their relationship.

She likes making her child feel bad so long as she has her way and she is happy. She pays no attention to the feelings of her children anytime she wants anything. For instance, My mom can make you spend money on something that she already has. Sometimes she will drag for something that she doesn't even need. She feels as a mother all her children must make her happy else they don't like her.

Also, She is terrible with conversations both on phone and physically. If you try to have a one on one talk with her, she will make the conversation very unpleasant because she will keep interrupting, next thing she will cry or she will get up and leave you.

She never sees her fault. Even if she apologies, she would do the same thing again and blame you for making her do it.

If she comes around and everywhere is peaceful, after a short while argument will begin which may lead to a fight.

This is because she likes jamming one person with another person and eventually make them quarel. She enjoys adding words that was never in the conversation when she is reporting somebody to another perosn. Most times those words are very hurting and will lead to a fight. And when the fight begins, she will start crying. Sometimes she would intentionally fall on the ground while trying to separate a fight, just to make sure everybody runs helter-skelter trying to get her up on her feet.

She has blood pressure issues, hence she uses that a weapon to guilt-trip her children so they can succumb to her demands. For instance, if she says things that are not true about her child to another of her child and the person finds out, once you confront her, she would say " don't query me oh, shey you know my blood pressure would soon go up. I didn't kill my mother, don't kill me oh." Or she will just start crying and say the person hates her and what was said isn't true, and that she never said anything like that. She denies the things she says that are bad soon after she says them.

Gosh, I am just tired of my mom. I feel like packing out of this house, blocking her and not letting her come close to me because of how emotionally draining it is everytime she comes around.

Adage says, ...one can still have bad wife but dangerous to have bad in-laws.

......U pity poor girl that would end up with you......

whyteteeth:
It's draining dealing with my mom everytime she comes to the city to stay in the same house with me. I live in my elder sister's house but she (my sister) stays abroad with her family. I am the last child and I am not married. I work from home though. My mum vists here once in a while. Anytime she comes around she does a lot of things that spoils my mood. For instance, she doesn't like taking her children's advice no matter how important it is to them. She likes having her way all the time. And when we try to stop her, she guilt trips us and emotionally blackmails us.

I have other siblings who do not live with me but they used to come around with their children anytime mom is around. My father is back home and hardly visits. She doesn't listen to my dad if he advices her.

Mom will first and foremost get someone upset, and when the person complains, she will watch out for one negative word that will slip out from your mouth and use it to emotionally blackmail you. She will cry because of what you said to her until you feel guilty and beg her to forgive you. She also likes reporting her child to another of her child without minding if it would damage their relationship.

She likes making her child feel bad so long as she has her way and she is happy. She pays no attention to the feelings of her children anytime she wants anything. For instance, My mom can make you spend money on something that she already has. Sometimes she will drag for something that she doesn't even need. She feels as a mother all her children must make her happy else they don't like her.

Also, She is terrible with conversations both on phone and physically. If you try to have a one on one talk with her, she will make the conversation very unpleasant because she will keep interrupting, next thing she will cry or she will get up and leave you.

She never sees her fault. Even if she apologies, she would do the same thing again and blame you for making her do it.

If she comes around and everywhere is peaceful, after a short while argument will begin which may lead to a fight.

This is because she likes jamming one person with another person and eventually make them quarel. She enjoys adding words that was never in the conversation when she is reporting somebody to another perosn. Most times those words are very hurting and will lead to a fight. And when the fight begins, she will start crying. Sometimes she would intentionally fall on the ground while trying to separate a fight, just to make sure everybody runs helter-skelter trying to get her up on her feet.

She has blood pressure issues, hence she uses that a weapon to guilt-trip her children so they can succumb to her demands. For instance, if she says things that are not true about her child to another of her child and the person finds out, once you confront her, she would say " don't query me oh, shey you know my blood pressure would soon go up. I didn't kill my mother, don't kill me oh." Or she will just start crying and say the person hates her and what was said isn't true, and that she never said anything like that. She denies the things she says that are bad soon after she says them.

Gosh, I am just tired of my mom. I feel like packing out of this house, blocking her and not letting her come close to me because of how emotionally draining it is everytime she comes around.

Your mum is a manipulative gaslighter. That is the fact.

To survive around manipulators, you first need to avoid interactions with them as much as possible. For unavoidable interactions, allow the gaslighter to talk, say ok you have heard and do EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO in the first instance. Repeat this as a loop.

Dont fight or try to argue with a manipulator. They will hold on to any wrong word. Instead, do the listening. Ask questions to clarify their positions and say ok.

Ok no dey cause fights.

Say ok but remember to do exactly what you wanted to do.

Manipulator: you cannot eat rice in this house today because putin did this and buhari did that.
You: ok
Then you proceed to eat your rice.
After they notice you ate rice and they flare up, you feign ignorance, act like you didn’t hear them the first time, reverse the psychology on them etc.

Anything you do, just dont argue. Reduce confrontations to just simple statements but do exactly what you want to do.

When she reports you and the other person calls, just laugh it off. Remind the person that they should know ‘how mummy use to do’ . If the person is boiling too much, just say ok. Don’t argue.

When she realizes that you are just an ok machine with no interest in fights, she will look for someone else to fight with.

Remember, ok no dey cause fight

For the sake of your sanity, limit your conversation with her whenever she is around. Get her the things she needs and retire to your room.

I love my peace of mind

Your dad survived it with her. Like someone above me said.

She can bless you, you can't bless her.

If you can't accept her the way she is then, you can go get your own apartment.

Remember your bloodline is your history, you have 50% of her gene in you.

Traits of narcissism

Naturally, women are dramatic. Our mothers taught our girls how to play the manipulation game and our girls mastered the art more than our mothers.

You'll grow to understand all these. When I was a little younger, my mum do play this game alot and e dey pain me but now, I'll just smile and shake my head knowing she's just being a woman.

She's an attention seeker and likely possible your dad doesn't have her time so she looks towards her offspring .

You can imagine what your old man at home must be going through

She is a narcissist, people like her emotionally blackmail people to do their bidding. She feels you all owe her the world just because she birthed you.

People like her are emotionally draining, you just have to love them from afar.

moadxist2:
Patience is a virtue, and the Bible says "honour thy father and thy mother, that your days might be long on earth". You can't bless her, she can bless you. You choose...

What comes after this verse? Parents don't push your children to anger lest you get their wrath.
Most parents na this verse them dey use blackmail there children or laying curse on them.

brain54:
Your mom is the real drama queen…


She sounds interesting.

I like her… never a dull moment!

Pls don’t query me oh… sh3 you know my blood pressure will rise?

It sounds interesting until you deal with someone like the mom in life.

Avoid her, don't go close to her

Your peace of mind is much more important than your mother, cut her off if you have to... Love her from a distance.

A lot of kids nowadays are suffering from depression and some have taken their lives all because of toxic parents.

But at the end of the day, the choice is yours.

Samantha124:
Your peace of mind is much more important than your mother, cut her off if you have to... Love her from a distance.

A lot of kids nowadays are suffering from depression and some have taken their lives all because of toxic parents.

But at the end of the day, the choice is yours.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Because if you end up suffering from depression or taking your life, I'm very sure that instead of her to take responsibility for it and be remorseful, she will blame it on witchcraft or evil powers and continue doing the same thing to your siblings.

whyteteeth:


Thank you.

Dayummmm
So much toxicity!!!!!

Na one person get all these problems?

Your mom is very toxic and not good for your sanity. I don't know what to say because I love some funny things about her, like that part she uses her BP to emotionally blackmail you guys awnnnn . Me I love your mom oooo. 🤣 Just ignore her drama and you may chose to love her from a distance but can you create a distance from this type of mum? 🤣 She go find you come and uses her BP to threaten you for abandoning her. The best solution is to just be the bigger person, I think she loves pampering alot. Just overlook her flaws and still do her good.