whyteteeth:
It's draining dealing with my mom everytime she comes to the city to stay in the same house with me. I live in my elder sister's house but she (my sister) stays abroad with her family. I am the last child and I am not married. I work from home though. My mum visits here once in a while. Anytime she comes around she does a lot of things that spoils my mood. For instance, she doesn't like taking her children's advice no matter how important it is to them. She likes having her way all the time. And when we try to stop her, she guilt trips us and emotionally blackmails us.

I have other siblings who do not live with me but they used to come around with their children anytime mom is around. My father is back home and hardly visits. She doesn't listen to my dad if he advices her.

Mom will first and foremost get someone upset, and when the person complains, she will watch out for one negative word that will slip out from your mouth and use it to emotionally blackmail you. She will cry because of what you said to her until you feel guilty and beg her to forgive you. She also likes reporting her child to another of her child without minding if it would damage their relationship.

She likes making her child feel bad so long as she has her way and she is happy. She pays no attention to the feelings of her children anytime she wants anything. For instance, My mom can make you spend money on something that she already has. Sometimes she will drag for something that she doesn't even need. She feels as a mother all her children must make her happy else they don't like her.

Also, She is terrible with conversations both on phone and physically. If you try to have a one on one talk with her, she will make the conversation very unpleasant because she will keep interrupting, next thing she will cry or she will get up and leave you.

She never sees her fault. Even if she apologies, she would do the same thing again and blame you for making her do it.

If she comes around and everywhere is peaceful, after a short while argument will begin which may lead to a fight.

This is because she likes jamming one person with another person and eventually make them quarel. She enjoys adding words that was never in the conversation when she is reporting somebody to another perosn. Most times those words are very hurting and will lead to a fight. And when the fight begins, she will start crying. Sometimes she would intentionally fall on the ground while trying to separate a fight, just to make sure everybody runs helter-skelter trying to get her up on her feet.

She has blood pressure issues, hence she uses that as a weapon to guilt-trip her children so they can succumb to her demands. For instance, if she says things that are not true about her child to another of her child and the person finds out, once you confront her, she would say " don't query me oh, shey you know my blood pressure would soon go up. I didn't kill my mother, don't kill me oh." Or she will just start crying and say the person hates her and what was said isn't true, and that she never said anything like that. She denies the things she says that are bad soon after she says them.

Gosh, I am just tired of my mom. I feel like packing out of this house, blocking her and not letting her come close to me because of how emotionally draining it is everytime she comes around.

Your mum na real Mama G.
Seriously, I commend your Dad for managing such character over several decades, without divorce, he must be a peaceful man. God bless him.

Dont avoid her. All you have to do is to let her know how you feel about her dramas &you ain't ready to be part of it, let her know you have your own life's principle &that you don't want to disrespect her in anyway, you will notice she will be calm anytime she wants to instigate unneccesary issues.
You can walk away to your own room &lock yourself up till she calm her nerves anytime issues arises, that doesn't mean you're a coward.
She will know that this her son is not into any form of arguments, better still meet your dad to give you the trick he used in living with her over the years. Some Women are like devices, you need manual to operate them. GoodLuck.

@OP, I totally understand your plight and believe me I know how exhausting it is cos I have experienced such. It won't be easy ignoring her because she is a part of you.
The best you can do for yourself is to keep your distance from her whenever she is around. Make yourself unavailable, so doing there will be less problems between you and her. Just keep your distance for your own mental and emotional health.

JeffreyJunior:
You can never have it all good in this life.

She is your mum, avoiding won't change that rather it will fuel her manipulations.

Simply keep tolerating her as much as you can and if she can read text messages on phone, send her your frustration after she goes back to the village. Let her ponder on that.

Also, if you can get all your siblings to take one stand and caution her, she will stop her shenanigans.

Mad man wey dey dance for market na because someone dey watch am. Once everyone decides to face their front for market, he go get sense by force.

make u a stop dis she’s your mom

whyteteeth:
It's draining dealing with my mom everytime she comes to the city to stay in the same house with me. I live in my elder sister's house but she (my sister) stays abroad with her family. I am the last child and I am not married. I work from home though. My mum visits here once in a while. Anytime she comes around she does a lot of things that spoils my mood. For instance, she doesn't like taking her children's advice no matter how important it is to them. She likes having her way all the time. And when we try to stop her, she guilt trips us and emotionally blackmails us.

I have other siblings who do not live with me but they used to come around with their children anytime mom is around. My father is back home and hardly visits. She doesn't listen to my dad if he advices her.

Mom will first and foremost get someone upset, and when the person complains, she will watch out for one negative word that will slip out from your mouth and use it to emotionally blackmail you. She will cry because of what you said to her until you feel guilty and beg her to forgive you. She also likes reporting her child to another of her child without minding if it would damage their relationship.

She likes making her child feel bad so long as she has her way and she is happy. She pays no attention to the feelings of her children anytime she wants anything. For instance, My mom can make you spend money on something that she already has. Sometimes she will drag for something that she doesn't even need. She feels as a mother all her children must make her happy else they don't like her.

Also, She is terrible with conversations both on phone and physically. If you try to have a one on one talk with her, she will make the conversation very unpleasant because she will keep interrupting, next thing she will cry or she will get up and leave you.

She never sees her fault. Even if she apologies, she would do the same thing again and blame you for making her do it.

If she comes around and everywhere is peaceful, after a short while argument will begin which may lead to a fight.

This is because she likes jamming one person with another person and eventually make them quarel. She enjoys adding words that was never in the conversation when she is reporting somebody to another perosn. Most times those words are very hurting and will lead to a fight. And when the fight begins, she will start crying. Sometimes she would intentionally fall on the ground while trying to separate a fight, just to make sure everybody runs helter-skelter trying to get her up on her feet.

She has blood pressure issues, hence she uses that as a weapon to guilt-trip her children so they can succumb to her demands. For instance, if she says things that are not true about her child to another of her child and the person finds out, once you confront her, she would say " don't query me oh, shey you know my blood pressure would soon go up. I didn't kill my mother, don't kill me oh." Or she will just start crying and say the person hates her and what was said isn't true, and that she never said anything like that. She denies the things she says that are bad soon after she says them.

Gosh, I am just tired of my mom. I feel like packing out of this house, blocking her and not letting her come close to me because of how emotionally draining it is everytime she comes around.

Most women possesses that character.. It is your dad that didn't tamed her...
My wife had similar trait when I married her both and took it out of her...you can't be too emotional around me...if I dey cry I must see.. If na me I no send if she used that her emotions to send herself to beyond.. I hate people who are manipulative.... I always fight the war to the end

imagrg:
■ A very stubborn last child in the family is speaking too loud. Watch your attitude towards your mother; it may be your undoing later.

1. Why? Is the mother going to kill her own child or what?

whyteteeth:
It's draining dealing with my mom everytime she comes to the city to stay in the same house with me. I live in my elder sister's house but she (my sister) stays abroad with her family. I am the last child and I am not married. I work from home though. My mum visits here once in a while. Anytime she comes around she does a lot of things that spoils my mood. For instance, she doesn't like taking her children's advice no matter how important it is to them. She likes having her way all the time. And when we try to stop her, she guilt trips us and emotionally blackmails us.

I have other siblings who do not live with me but they used to come around with their children anytime mom is around. My father is back home and hardly visits. She doesn't listen to my dad if he advices her.

Mom will first and foremost get someone upset, and when the person complains, she will watch out for one negative word that will slip out from your mouth and use it to emotionally blackmail you. She will cry because of what you said to her until you feel guilty and beg her to forgive you. She also likes reporting her child to another of her child without minding if it would damage their relationship.

She likes making her child feel bad so long as she has her way and she is happy. She pays no attention to the feelings of her children anytime she wants anything. For instance, My mom can make you spend money on something that she already has. Sometimes she will drag for something that she doesn't even need. She feels as a mother all her children must make her happy else they don't like her.

Also, She is terrible with conversations both on phone and physically. If you try to have a one on one talk with her, she will make the conversation very unpleasant because she will keep interrupting, next thing she will cry or she will get up and leave you.

She never sees her fault. Even if she apologies, she would do the same thing again and blame you for making her do it.

If she comes around and everywhere is peaceful, after a short while argument will begin which may lead to a fight.

This is because she likes jamming one person with another person and eventually make them quarel. She enjoys adding words that was never in the conversation when she is reporting somebody to another perosn. Most times those words are very hurting and will lead to a fight. And when the fight begins, she will start crying. Sometimes she would intentionally fall on the ground while trying to separate a fight, just to make sure everybody runs helter-skelter trying to get her up on her feet.

She has blood pressure issues, hence she uses that as a weapon to guilt-trip her children so they can succumb to her demands. For instance, if she says things that are not true about her child to another of her child and the person finds out, once you confront her, she would say " don't query me oh, shey you know my blood pressure would soon go up. I didn't kill my mother, don't kill me oh." Or she will just start crying and say the person hates her and what was said isn't true, and that she never said anything like that. She denies the things she says that are bad soon after she says them.

Gosh, I am just tired of my mom. I feel like packing out of this house, blocking her and not letting her come close to me because of how emotionally draining it is everytime she comes around.

Hmmmm, I remembered my mum as I was reading this, cause she does some of this though not all, but believe me, she passed on last March. She is gone. Just endure her you can not change the fact that God chooses her for you.

Imagine marrying a guy with a mother like this.

Imagine if he now always picks his mother's side all the time.

Good thing you know your mum is toxic.

Patience.. Tolerate her. See her as a cross you have to carry till she goes to the land beyond. Peace!

Saynoomore:
The man that lived with this woman is a hero indeed! Chai! Tell me he took off pls!

The man must have seen the senior brother of shege banza together with the mother in law of lucifer.

What a toxic WiTch!!!!

Your mummy na vawulence pro max.
Cap it.

CondenseMilk:


You are Igbo right?

She is your mom, when women grows older, they tends to behave like kids.

It's a normal thing.

Not all women my dear

whyteteeth:


Thank you.

The best u can do is to reduce the attention u r giving her,react as if u r not touched with her emotional blackmailing,tell her little or nothing about ur life and what u r going through.
I bet she will fear and respect ur opinion.

Pls don't run away from her cos if u do,u will regret it after her demise. That is what make some ppl cry their eyes out the day any of their parent passed on. They will keep shedding tears anytime they rem their action

Your mom is your mom nothing what, I think she is suffering from old age

Divoc19:
Your dad survived it with her. Like someone above me said.

She can bless you, you can't bless her.

If you can't accept her the way she is then, you can go get your own apartment.

Remember your bloodline is your history, you have 50% of her gene in you.

This is what you people are... Terrible manipulators. Thank God the way he made me...many of you always like to have your way but never concede. This is why you have Redpillers all over the places. Though I don't envy any extreme groups

mrblessed:
All these fault for one person? Who needs a mum like this?

God forbids bad thing

Same drama that attracted your pa to your mama.

It’s all fun when they were younger but gets irritating when they gets older.

I have zero tolerance for manipulation.

It’s witchcraft!

Ulunne777:
She's an attention seeker and likely possible your dad doesn't have her time so she looks towards her offspring .

You can imagine what your old man at home must be going through

A reasonable comment from a woman

It is age.
The longer they grow, the higher they behave like a child.

onlyboyson:
Why will you Avoid your second God who give birth to you

Nonsense

chukwuoke:




Guy all what you said above you didn't point out exactly what your mom did. Besides if you abandon your mom whose mom will be yours. Mom's degative way of talking sometimes have impact in one's live. Your are the last is the reason you have to listen to her for your progress. Strive to get your own no matter how small it is. Think we'll bros!

Some of you just come in here and write rubbish.. Did you read through what OP wrote...

Just stay with children shouting continuously while playing for five days and tell me you won't get aggressive at them

Just dey hail your Papa because that man try tolerating her excess toxic shit. I have similar experience though. Most women are problems. Men wey marry such pple dey try oo.

okewumi:
It is age.
The longer they grow, the higher they behave like a child.

I disagree. Shouldn't they be calmer when they age instead

The TRUTH is.......YOU CANNOT CHANGE HER
She cannot change at this stage, just endure & manage her till she dies

What if your mother has avoided you when you are in her womb? you did alot of shits in her womb yet he brought you here. omo get sense.

Kobojunkie:
1. Whatever wishful thoughts people like to have, the point is prayer only works when one is in fact righteous. So trying to solve the OP's situation by resorting to prayers is just as you described, a waste of energy in no particular direction.

Who described prayers as the solution in the first place?

You might need to bring out your glasses for that part, if you're being any bit objective on your quest.

I'm not interested in your old argument as I do not believe it, especially not in your theory of righteousness or your being so. That is a waste of energy in no particular direction. Your fishing is DOA.

Romanoff:
Imagine marrying a guy with a mother like this.

Imagine if he now always picks his mother's side all the time.

Good thing you know your mum is toxic.

.

As in eh, I watch this in a movie recently, forgotten the name, the guy's wife was passing through hell anytime her mother in-law visit them in the city, she will accused her son's wife of being wasteful, wearing expensive things, food etc but in all the Young lady was very moderate, maintaining the Status Quo & had to tolerate her, she even barge into their room without knocking while the son was having sex with his wife, Lol

Unknown to to the son, She brought some pastors together with her daughter to organize unsolicited prayer meeting in the palour @midnite, praying Mountain of Fire kinda prayers disturbing the peace of the house with so much noise, waking up the son from sleep in the process. Lol

The son&the wife stepped downstairs to see what was going on, he immediately expressed his displeasure, telling his mother enough is a enough, that its time she return home, that he has tolerated her enough, the mother started yelling, ranting&crying, the Pastor ran away seeing the anger on the guy's face,

If you have such woman as your land lady, omor, na to brace up for a quarrel at anytime over rent, electricity bills etc.
Kudos to men who manages such women as wives, always good to date before getting married to know each other characters.

moadxist2:
Patience is a virtue, and the Bible says "honour thy father and thy mother, that your days might be long on earth". You can't bless her, she can bless you. You choose...

ooogah!!! Stop that quote! You self wan add another emotional blackmail to the issue. Call a spade, a spade.

Hasn't the OP endured and tolerated the mother for long, abi na till when heart attack catch the OP before he .....

VULCAN:
One of the most important lessons is life is to deal with the reality that faces you.

Most people can't do that because they deny what is in their face because they can't bear to face the truth of the matter.

If you think there are no worse mums than this then you are very naive and should jump and pass such threads as this.

FYI, the OPs mum is an apprentice when it comes to manipulation. I have seen women who start where her power ends

You will sing a different song when the mom drops her own side of the story.
You are the naive person here, naive for believing a one sided story that involves multiple parties and forming a conclusion based on that.
You need to have a seat.

.

hakeemhakeem:
I respect your dad for living with her over the years, na man he be.use wisdom run matter with her and your dad is in best person that can give it to you

Exactly what I wanted to say. I pity you dad. Your mum go don heckle and peck the man like a disgruntled hen pecking on grains

BRATISLAVA:
Anyone having issues with a parent who listens to anything here will end up with a problem twice as worse. Or maybe stabbed to death. Or in jail. Or at a funeral that doesn't need to happen yet. A lot of people are lacking in balanced approaches to life, and unsurprisingly they are the quickest to give advice. Some are transferring hate while giving advice.

"Cut her off! She's gaslighting you! Ignore her! Do what you want!"

When you get old and gray and you are cut off by your children, because you will always be annoying to your own children, you will think harder about the right approach to such matters. Most people commenting on the thread are self-centered and lack empathy in their dealings.

The only person that lacks empathy and is self centered is the op's mother. You talk like this because you haven't experienced it. What makes a person intelligent is seeing things from different perspective,you may not have experienced this but imagine yourself going through this. We have lots of individuals with self esteem issues,depression,anxiety issues and in worst cases madness because of issues like this. It is women like this that drive their husband to heavy drinking.
My advice to the op is to run,cut off completely from her,if she has issues she is going through that is affecting her behaviour let her seek help instead of frustrating her children

Babe, take it easy & thank God that you have a mum & this is coming from your mum & not someone else.

But it all depends on your mum's age and how her attitude has been growing up; she will go back to those attitude she had while growing up. If she has advanced in age you really have to tolerate some innuendoes.

It is characteristic for a lot of mothers to report siblings to another; that should not mean much.
For the emotional blackmail; just see it a one of those things.
Try your best to make your mum happy, she will not be here all the time. Eventually, you look back & laugh off these things.

whyteteeth:
It's draining dealing with my mom everytime she comes to the city to stay in the same house with me. I live in my elder sister's house but she (my sister) stays abroad with her family. I am the last child and I am not married. I work from home though. My mum visits here once in a while. Anytime she comes around she does a lot of things that spoils my mood. For instance, she doesn't like taking her children's advice no matter how important it is to them. She likes having her way all the time. And when we try to stop her, she guilt trips us and emotionally blackmails us.

I have other siblings who do not live with me but they used to come around with their children anytime mom is around. My father is back home and hardly visits. She doesn't listen to my dad if he advices her.

Mom will first and foremost get someone upset, and when the person complains, she will watch out for one negative word that will slip out from your mouth and use it to emotionally blackmail you. She will cry because of what you said to her until you feel guilty and beg her to forgive you. She also likes reporting her child to another of her child without minding if it would damage their relationship.

She likes making her child feel bad so long as she has her way and she is happy. She pays no attention to the feelings of her children anytime she wants anything. For instance, My mom can make you spend money on something that she already has. Sometimes she will drag for something that she doesn't even need. She feels as a mother all her children must make her happy else they don't like her.

Also, She is terrible with conversations both on phone and physically. If you try to have a one on one talk with her, she will make the conversation very unpleasant because she will keep interrupting, next thing she will cry or she will get up and leave you.

She never sees her fault. Even if she apologies, she would do the same thing again and blame you for making her do it.

If she comes around and everywhere is peaceful, after a short while argument will begin which may lead to a fight.

This is because she likes jamming one person with another person and eventually make them quarel. She enjoys adding words that was never in the conversation when she is reporting somebody to another perosn. Most times those words are very hurting and will lead to a fight. And when the fight begins, she will start crying. Sometimes she would intentionally fall on the ground while trying to separate a fight, just to make sure everybody runs helter-skelter trying to get her up on her feet.

She has blood pressure issues, hence she uses that as a weapon to guilt-trip her children so they can succumb to her demands. For instance, if she says things that are not true about her child to another of her child and the person finds out, once you confront her, she would say " don't query me oh, shey you know my blood pressure would soon go up. I didn't kill my mother, don't kill me oh." Or she will just start crying and say the person hates her and what was said isn't true, and that she never said anything like that. She denies the things she says that are bad soon after she says them.

Gosh, I am just tired of my mom. I feel like packing out of this house, blocking her and not letting her come close to me because of how emotionally draining it is everytime she comes around.