You said he purchase not we...

Women sha. You should be more concerned about who his next of kin is.

Ijelenwanyioma:

You are the only one getting my point. Maybe he plan marrying someone else in the future which I won't be part of his properties again

Save money and buy your own land. Let’s see how he will react

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am legally married to this man and we have 3 sons together. Recently he purchased some land which he actually told me about but when I checked the documents of all the land I only saw Mr(his name in full) and not Mr & Mrs (his name and surname) or Mr (his name ) and Mrs (My name ). This really gave me great concern and when I asked him, he told me it doesn't really count because the properties also belong to my children. Later he started accusing me that I am nursing ulterior motive in my heart and maybe I want to take over the properties which is blantly lies. I just want to feel ownership of the land too

Please am I overreacting on this issue truly or my husband is planning something behind me ( maybe remarrying)

Women sometimes do some funny things like you just proved it. Legally Mr and Mrs on a document is no longer good for legal purposely as I was warn recently about validity of Landed property. You really over acted and I see it as if you are planning to inherit his property soon. I pray God gives him long life. If you want your name on a property, you can as well buy yours.

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am legally married to this man and we have 3 sons together. Recently he purchased some land which he actually told me about but when I checked the documents of all the land I only saw Mr(his name in full) and not Mr & Mrs (his name and surname) or Mr (his name ) and Mrs (My name ). This really gave me great concern and when I asked him, he told me it doesn't really count because the properties also belong to my children. Later he started accusing me that I am nursing ulterior motive in my heart and maybe I want to take over the properties which is blantly lies. I just want to feel ownership of the land too

Please am I overreacting on this issue truly or my husband is planning something behind me ( maybe remarrying)

I also bought land in my name as Mr. ..... And wife also contested it.
I told her the land also belongs to her and my 3 sons.
She knows I love her and we are in it together so no issue

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am legally married to this man and we have 3 sons together. Recently he purchased some land which he actually told me about but when I checked the documents of all the land I only saw Mr(his name in full) and not Mr & Mrs (his name and surname) or Mr (his name ) and Mrs (My name ). This really gave me great concern and when I asked him, he told me it doesn't really count because the properties also belong to my children. Later he started accusing me that I am nursing ulterior motive in my heart and maybe I want to take over the properties which is blantly lies. I just want to feel ownership of the land too

Please am I overreacting on this issue truly or my husband is planning something behind me ( maybe remarrying)

plain overreacting.

first, ask other wifes if their names are on their husband properties documents, you will probably find none. ask mr lawyers too.

it is believed that whatever your children have from your husband is equally yours.

if you want to know earlier than normal you are treading on dangerous pathways.

as long as you are still ok with Mr please stop streching your neck seeking trouble where there is none.

work together and train the children to reap the benefits together. nobody should run faster than her legs can carry, trip and fall is around the corner.

@OP
Why are you not working towards buying property for yourself? I believe that every woman should strive to own solid assets. No one knows the future. You should plan well for your children's sake. Depending on a man totally or having a sense of entitlement is a plan towards failure or underachievement.

If the money is his, you can't insist that he should add your name. A man who has full confidence in his wife and wants to protect his children will do so without being coerced.

Brainy007:
Women sha. You should be more concerned about who his next of kin is.

Lol.... so if the man decides to transfer the asset to a sidechick or even a brother, what will this "next of kin" get?

Tfinal:
if you are me then u would have kill urself. I worked so hard to build a supermarket and he claimed it, I paid 9m out of 10m for a landed property and he still claim it and his even accusing me of being jealous and petty.

So how did you resolve this? Is your name on the land documents at all? Or is it only his name?

What of the supermarket? How have you been able to manage it going forward with him claiming it as his?

Madam including your name in his properties should not be that important. What is important is him empowering you and giving your children best of training and education. Because if you're empowered you can do better. As for the children if well trained they will pursue something greater and even improve on their father's properties because by then it will be obsolete. In Yoruba adage " ómó ta ba kó lon gbe Ile ti aba kó ta”

Ijelenwanyioma:

You are the only one getting my point. Maybe he plan marrying someone else in the future which I won't be part of his properties again

Madam discard this mindset from your head , if you allow this thought cloud your mindset you might just end up hating your husband seeing every move he makes like taking another wife ...relax let the future unfold gradually ...abeg na beg ah dey beg you oo no use your hand give yourself trouble

Kobojunkie:
Here's an honest question for you to ponder. What is the difference between you and someone who is, say, a sidechick, a gal friend or a babymama living with her babydaddy?

Where have you seen a sidechick getting a share of inheritance in Nigeria?
You were not asking honest question. That was an insult.

slimjohn2k5:
Your first comment calling your husband 'this man' shows u r overreacting and worry from bad advise.

You have kids, even if your name is not on his will, your kids name are so y worried?

God bless your wisdom bro.

Tfinal:
if you are me then u would have kill urself. I worked so hard to build a supermarket and he claimed it, I paid 9m out of 10m for a landed property and he still claim it and his even accusing me of being jealous and petty.

You were scammed by your husband?

jmoore:
■ Where have you seen a sidechick getting a share of inheritance in Nigeria?
You were not asking honest question. That was an insult.

which inheritance? Do wives get their hands on inheritance in that same Nigeria? See this one!

Be thankful to God that you have a very generous man as your husband, If I were him, I would've started plans on how to exclude you from my will because of your greed. I hate it when anyone start feeling entitled to something that doesn't directly belong to him/her. I'm sure if it were your properties, you would never consider putting his name on the papers; people who truly give freely don't have demanding attitude.

You will lose that marriage if you're not careful, because the man has started feeling unsafe with you.

bixton:




If there's actually anything to be worried about then it should be whose name is as next of kin on his documents.
As regards the Mr and Mrs being written on property documents I think it would be wise for you if you inquire from a lawyer if such is useful in the Nigerian court and can be used as proof of ownership even if one person is no longer alive.

Next of kin has no basis. It's just someone that can be contacted if the owner is not reachable or deceased. I can use your name as next of kin but will the same land to an orphanage.

You Have nothing to worry about, you have obviously been listening and seeking advice from th wrong set of people.
This is the reason why some men don't like marrying women in court, because they feel entitled to his property when they are legally married to them.

Your approach

Kobojunkie:
which inheritance? Do wives get their hands on inheritance in that same Nigeria? See this one!

They do, yes... It's only inherited/ communal properties that are complicated. As Long as the man has properties outside of his village, they're untouchable unless the man allowed undue Access to them when Alive.

Kobojunkie:
which inheritance? Do wives get their hands on inheritance in that same Nigeria? See this one!

Maybe, you are living in another Nigeria.
I know many widows that are/were still incharge of the properties after the death of their husbands.

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am legally married to this man and we have 3 sons together. Recently he purchased some land which he actually told me about but when I checked the documents of all the land I only saw Mr(his name in full) and not Mr & Mrs (his name and surname) or Mr (his name ) and Mrs (My name ). This really gave me great concern and when I asked him, he told me it doesn't really count because the properties also belong to my children. Later he started accusing me that I am nursing ulterior motive in my heart and maybe I want to take over the properties which is blantly lies. I just want to feel ownership of the land too

Please am I overreacting on this issue truly or my husband is planning something behind me ( maybe remarrying)

Woman, did you contribute in any money in the purchase of the land? If not, why bother your self with the 50/50 marriage ideology of asserts when you already have children for him!

I still don't know why most married women behave foolishly. Many women who react like this may not even put their husband's name as their next of kin . Be calming down o, so you don't loose all you have laboured with him.

Let's ask her, if she is the one that bought the land, will she out her husband name? This gender mentality wont stop to amaze someone

slimjohn2k5:
Your first comment calling your husband 'this man' shows u r overreacting and worry from bad advise.

You have kids, even if your name is not on his will, your kids name are so y worried?

slimjohn2k5:
Your first comment calling your husband 'this man' shows u r overreacting and worry from bad advise.

You have kids, even if your name is not on his will, your kids name are so y worried?

This man tag means the husband is 💯 correct in his assumption.

Ijelenwanyioma
He bought it with his money. I didn't contribute to it and even when I offered to give him at least a million (just want my money to be part of it) he said I shouldn't worry


You shouldn't be worried as he has said. He is your husband and what belongs to him belongs to his family in which you are the second then the children. Just try and continue to love him the same way and always pray for God's protection over your family.

jmoore:
■ Maybe, you are living in another Nigeria.
I know many widows that are/were still incharge of the properties after the death of their husbands.

Sure ...sure!

If the situation were to be reversed and you were making more than him and he asks you to include his name in a property you are solely funding. What will be your reaction.

Don't answer me just think deeply and I think the answers you seek will come

Finally dont you see both of you growing old 90+ together?

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am legally married to this man and we have 3 sons together. Recently he purchased some land which he actually told me about but when I checked the documents of all the land I only saw Mr(his name in full) and not Mr & Mrs (his name and surname) or Mr (his name ) and Mrs (My name ). This really gave me great concern and when I asked him, he told me it doesn't really count because the properties also belong to my children. Later he started accusing me that I am nursing ulterior motive in my heart and maybe I want to take over the properties which is blantly lies. I just want to feel ownership of the land too

Please am I overreacting on this issue truly or my husband is planning something behind me ( maybe remarrying)

You are overreacting!
Except you contributed to the money used in buying the land

ceejayluv:
■ They do, yes... It's only inherited/ communal properties that are complicated. As Long as the man has properties outside of his village, they're untouchable unless the man allowed undue Access to them when Alive.

First of all, I didn't bring up any thing about inheritance. Second, we all know well that what you describe is nowhere the norm or common in Nigeria. So better die this completely. OP's husband is able to transfer his assets to others long before issue of inheritance comes up so no point.

Y'all talking like it's 100% sure the man would die first lol

Diligent1:

My husband bought a land with his own name and I never think about it for once why he did not include Mr& Mrs.
If I buy my own, he cannot expect me to include him.

Are you aware that everything you own including yourself belong to your husband

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am legally married to this man and we have 3 sons together. Recently he purchased some land which he actually told me about but when I checked the documents of all the land I only saw Mr(his name in full) and not Mr & Mrs (his name and surname) or Mr (his name ) and Mrs (My name ). This really gave me great concern and when I asked him, he told me it doesn't really count because the properties also belong to my children. Later he started accusing me that I am nursing ulterior motive in my heart and maybe I want to take over the properties which is blantly lies. I just want to feel ownership of the land too

Please am I overreacting on this issue truly or my husband is planning something behind me ( maybe remarrying)

To be honest, if the money he use in buying the land is his money only, he has the right to write any ones name, he can even choose to put his mother's name as he so wishes

But if you contributed a percentage to the money, thats when your demand will be authorized

Now the real issue

Both of you don't usually communicate as couple and discuss together on family issues thats why he didn't care to ask you what name to put on the land and you didn't ask him what name is he putting there

However, so far he carried you along before the purchase and after the purchase he has done what is expected of him

What next
The next thing is to start discussing ideas on what building plans he has in mind

Is it for private or For commercial

This are the issues you have to be sharing with him, that will bring a synergy to both of you

As far as he is still alive that land belongs to you and him,
But I can't really say what will be if he is not there

If he had wanted to actually involve you, he would have handed that land documents over to you, whether your name is there or not
Just for you to keep it for safe keeping since you are couples

But there is a limit to what you can drag with him over that purchase and if he doesn't give you the documents to keep or you don't know where he kept the documents, then he must have given it to his family members to keep

So may God keep both of you alive to build and live there peacefully

Just relax and keep loving him ans take care of the family together

He may not even have any hidden agenda
But you can't really tell

Yes you have three boys for him, you are not in his mind and can't say what is in his mind

But we hope it comes out positive