Miami11:
Because they are mean and selfish

You can't be more wrong brother...

Hope I didn't type wrung...

I'm divorced with a daughter and i took custody of her legally through Court process. I love and care for her so much.. Thank you

CuriousStudent:

So sending upkeep,will staying away,will it harm?

The thing is alot of you men are so irresponsible that is why when you are placed in a structured society you feel like a fish on land . Alot of men claim child support is evil or persecution.

No matter how vile a woman is and dangerous (you and I know this is rarely the case,if not why do women initiate most divorce), you should send money for upkeep of the kids. You don't need to visit (for your safety) but send money.

But no,once a union ends,the man focus on his new partner and her needs and neglect his kids

Send money! That is what makes a man responsible abi?

And you think that is what is good for the child?

Imagine your height of selfishness.

All you want is for money to be sent.

If you believe the child is safer with you, play a part in their lives then.
You separate a child from their father and you think that when the child grows up, just knowing that the dad trained him will be enough for the child to forget all the mental suffering he/she suffered alone as a result of physical absence of the dad.

deeptesting:
It is no longer news to hear about couples going their separate ways today,immediately after separation or divorce most father`s cut off all ties with their ex including the children, it really beats my imagination why most men also divorce their children.

Most men quickly move into another relationship abandoning the children for the woman, they don`t call, visit or even write letters to the children. We have witnessed few cases here on Nairaland where the children now grown ups put up pictures of their fathers taken 30yrs ago in search of the man who gave birth to them..

Real men don't divorce their kids too.

Men are irresponsible by nature

blaise26abj:


Can you make this statement in front of your father ?

God punish you and him IJN

shegxi:
i think it depends, some men are nt even rili responsible when togeda nt to talk of wen seperated or divorced. also, some men take out d anger on d children which is nt rite .

Valid point..

@the bolded . Sick men if you ask me.

agabaI23:
No, I am not. i just told you those you see in the courts in a mixture of a few deliberate and many who are having Buhari time

You need to stop arguing with women cause they're senseless and emotional. She believes she's always right and reasonable

CuriousStudent:

So sending upkeep,will staying away,will it harm?

The thing is alot of you men are so irresponsible that is why when you are placed in a structured society you feel like a fish on land . Alot of men claim child support is evil or persecution.

No matter how vile a woman is and dangerous (you and I know this is rarely the case,if not why do women initiate most divorce), you should send money for upkeep of the kids. You don't need to visit (for your safety) but send money.

But no,once a union ends,the man focus on his new partner and her needs and neglect his kids

Send money and don’t visit or access the kids ? This is the reason why men abdicate their responsibilities. Y’all think men are some emotionless , soulless beings and that is why there is so much evil perpetuated by divorced women . Men love their kids. We have a different way of showing that compared to women .

Unfortunately when a man has a new partner the attention is demanded by the new woman . Also once he has new kids , his child support payment will reduce . If the ex-wife is myopic and devilish , the man will just seek peace and just forget about the woman and pray for his kids . Once they are grown they can reconnect and hear the true reasons

Lol,this view is mostly gotten because children mostly stay with their moms after divorce and they get poisoned against their dad constantly by their mom or their mom's family.

I am not debating the fact that some men can be irresponsible.You have to know that there are cases where the women won't allow the dads to see their kids and frustrate any effort to build any contact with them.Women are manipulative same as men too.

Some children grow up to realise that their mom was the reason their dad divorced lol.Some men just can't bear or tolerate so they just throw everything that concerns the wife even though it isn't fair out of their life.

Men don't cry,scream or point fingers at anyone because they will always be at fault even if they aren't.

saphiere:
Men are irresponsible by nature

Can you make this statement in front of your father ?

Let's discuss this topic realistically.

Women have been known to pitch their children against their fathers. Even without being divorced, women intentionally tell their kids negative things against their fathers in order to make the kids love them more. This usually starts when the kids are very little and that is why most kids say they love their mum. As they grow up, they begin to think that their father hardly loves them. This is because the man is usually out hustling to Carter for the family and affords the woman more opportunity to spend time with the kids and indoctrinate them with hatred for their father.

Now imagine what happens when they are divorced. The kids automatically think that the reason for the divorce was their father. Furthermore, most fathers are scared to send money to their divorced wife because she most like will use the money for her selfish interest and not for the kids. Also, she may lie to her ex husband with the children's name just to get money from him.

I once read about an old man who divorced his wife when his 3 kids were hardly 7 ,5 and 3 years old respectively. Fortunately for this man, he kept a diary where he wrote down the reason for the divorce and it was because of the woman's infidelity. This man also kept all the receipts of all the money he sent to the ex wife for the children's upkeep. He never missed paying their school fees up till university level and sending large sums of money for their upkeep. On the other hand, their mother brainwashed them that ever since she divorced their dad, he hasn't sent a dime for their upkeep. So these kids grew up hating their father and thinking of him as an irresponsible man.

One day the eldest child who was 35years at the time decided to visit his dad and that was where he discovered the truth about the whole situation. He apologized to his father and invited his other two siblings to apologise to their dad because they hated him for no just cause.

In essence, Most fathers are wonderful. Some women just enjoy turning their kids against their father and it gets worse when divorce happens.

Shalom.

Not in all cause. As a lawyer, I have seen several incidents where court give gives custody to the woman but allows the man have access to the children while he is told to be financially responsible for the upkeep of the children, but what happens afterward? The man does his part but the woman refuses to allow the man to see the children. At the end, since the woman isn’t fulfilling her part, the man would get angry and also stop fulfilling his part.

deeptesting:
It is no longer news to hear about couples going their separate ways today,immediately after separation or divorce most father`s cut off all ties with their ex including the children, it really beats my imagination why most men also divorce their children.

Most men quickly move into another relationship abandoning the children for the woman, they don`t call, visit or even write letters to the children. We have witnessed few cases here on Nairaland where the children now grown ups put up pictures of their fathers taken 30yrs ago in search of the man who gave birth to them..

Real men don't divorce their kids too.

wow

Mogbe. December 2015😂

In my case… i question it the kids are really mine after I caught my wife cheating

avicky:

That's not true. I have seen a father who abandoned his son after separation. The wife wants him to be involved in the son's life but he wouldn't budge. School fees, feeding, health has been the responsibility of the struggling mother.
Look, so many irresponsible fathers out there. Two sane adults should not bring their kids into the fracas between them.
So I don't buy your assertion.

So u saw one man who didn't care for his son, therefore it's same for all men. Continue.

Were u even part of all the nitty gritty in their separation to know that this particular man wasnt frustrated into that by the ex wife?

Another question here is why do some women always insist and manipulate to retain all the children even when they know they can't cater for them financially? Sometimes the man wants to keep his children or even share equally but some women will use all manipulations in d world to ensure it doesn't happen.

avicky:

That's not true. I have seen a father who abandoned his son after separation. The wife wants him to be involved in the son's life but he wouldn't budge. School fees, feeding, health has been the responsibility of the struggling mother.
Look, so many irresponsible fathers out there. Two sane adults should not bring their kids into the fracas between them.
So I don't buy your assertion.

One thing, stop using your experience to generalise everyone.The fact that it happened doesn't mean all men do this.There are irresponsible men yes! Leave your zone and you will see the one who is responsible.

deeptesting:
It is no longer news to hear about couples going their separate ways today,immediately after separation or divorce most father`s cut off all ties with their ex including the children, it really beats my imagination why most men also divorce their children.

Most men quickly move into another relationship abandoning the children for the woman, they don`t call, visit or even write letters to the children. We have witnessed few cases here on Nairaland where the children now grown ups put up pictures of their fathers taken 30yrs ago in search of the man who gave birth to them..

Real men don't divorce their kids too.

It is impossible for a man to leave his kids but every self respecting man will leave a bitch if dealing with her brings stress and complications.

Women usually use kids as pawns to blackmail a man with whom she had a failed relationship.

A woman may be a good mother to her children but a terrible wife to her husband.

All self respecting men will bounce if the relationship becomes toxic.

agabaI23:
No it is because most times, the women don't want them to be part of the children's lives but they will want them to be financilly involved fully. I doubt there is a father that will abandon his children because he is divorced.

Your head is too correct! a divorce is already an indication that the love between the duo has gone south, then the woman wants the children only, the man feels the same way. Before you know it, men being who they are moves on, it's not their fault, that how they are wired. The woman on the other hand realizes that the children are a huge responsibility and starts feeling the absence of the man in that regard. My advise, if you as woman don't want wahala after break up, leave the children for the man, you are most likely going to be able to see them at will.

AlphaHakimi:
Let's discuss this topic realistically.

Women have been known to pitch their children against their fathers. Even without being divorced, women intentionally tell their kids negative things against their fathers in order to make the kids love them more. This usually starts when the kids are very little and that is why most kids say they love their mum. As they grow up, they begin to think that their father hardly loves them. This is because the man is usually out hustling to Carter for the family and affords the woman more opportunity to spend time with the kids and indoctrinate them with hatred for their father.

Now imagine what happens when they are divorced. The kids automatically think that the reason for the divorce was their father. Furthermore, most fathers are scared to send money to their divorced wife because she most like will use the money for her selfish interest and not for the kids. Also, she may lie to her ex husband with the children's name just to get money from him.

I once read about an old man who divorced his wife when his 3 kids were hardly 7 ,5 and 3 years old respectively. Fortunately for this man, he kept a diary where he wrote down the reason for the divorce and it was because of the woman's infidelity. This man also kept all the receipts of all the money he sent to the ex wife for the children's upkeep. He never missed paying their school fees up till university level and sending large sums of money for their upkeep. On the other hand, their mother brainwashed them that ever since she divorced their dad, he hasn't sent a dime for their upkeep. So these kids grew up hating their father and thinking of him as an irresponsible man.

One day the eldest child who was 35years at the time decided to visit his dad and that was where he discovered the truth about the whole situation. He apologized to his father and invited his other two siblings to apologise to their dad because they hated him for no just cause.

In essence, Most fathers are wonderful. Some women just enjoy turning their kids against their father and it gets worse when divorce happens.

Shalom.

Jilted women are usually the most manipulative from my experience. When they tell u things about their exes, pls do well to verify. Hear from the other side

avicky:

That's not true. I have seen a father who abandoned his son after separation. The wife wants him to be involved in the son's life but he wouldn't budge. School fees, feeding, health has been the responsibility of the struggling mother.
Look, so many irresponsible fathers out there. Two sane adults should not bring their kids into the fracas between them.
So I don't buy your assertion.

You need to watch justice court and see how Nigerian women are denying father access to the children and taking them to court when he's no longer contributing financially. The Koko is if you can't be with me, then you can't be with the children. Just send money from a distance

avicky:

That's not true. I have seen a father who abandoned his son after separation. The wife wants him to be involved in the son's life but he wouldn't budge. School fees, feeding, health has been the responsibility of the struggling mother.
Look, so many irresponsible fathers out there. Two sane adults should not bring their kids into the fracas between them.
So I don't buy your assertion.

My honest opinion is that men, more than women don't like separation, theirs a way each sex reacts to situation as much as we are social beings we are still psychologically orientated. The best way to deal with an irresponsible man after separation is to leave his kids for him.

agabaI23:
No it is because most times, the women don't want them to be part of the children's lives but they will want them to be financilly involved fully. I doubt there is a father that will abandon his children because he is divorced.

I know one.His wife wants to divorce him n confides in me bt afraid he will abandon kids on her.this is becoe he has money now n still runs away frm responsibilty

No matter what, don't abandon your own.

We have witnessed few cases here on Nairaland

That is why they are quick to throw insults. Fatherless human beings.

One parent is more than enough to take care of the children. If the man dies, nko? Why don’t people question the fact dead men don’t resurrect to carry the family?

Moana:
i have 3 cousins with children whose fathers refused to take care of and they even use their mother's surnames and over 7 people i stayed in hostel with that were single mothers with no support from their fathers are you satisfied with double the number?

Nigerian women are worshipped and how many of these worshipped women are being used for rituals and human trafficking. The number of rape and physical abuse cases on NL alone are alarming. Child marriage is a sign of women being worshipped abi? Okay continue

With all due respect change your location,probably rinse your mindset or you might end up like the single mothers yourself.

Stop projecting what you believe into us mu dear.Lastly you don't really know what happened between the couples that made them quit.You heard from the children who will tell you what their moms in turn told them so as to make their dads look irresponsible.

Do you know some women go to the extent of telling their children that their dad never sent any money even when he sends constantly.

Only you know 6 single moms.I like when how women delude themselves.Its fun.

Many men forget there children once they divorce or separate from their wife, this is very bad, especially when they get married to another woman, which will not want the man give his children attention, that's why divorce is not good.
Once the man gets married to another wife, he moves on, his attention is divided, he starts having another family and forgets the old ones.
But a woman does not forget her children when she remarries, she carries them along somehow.
Women are precious being

gentle007:

Send money! That is what makes a man responsible abi?

And you think that is what is good for the child?

Imagine your height of selfishness.

All you want is for money to be sent.

If you believe the child is safer with you, play a part in their lives then.
You separate a child from their father and you think that when the child grows up, just knowing that the dad trained him will be enough for the child to forget all the mental suffering he/she suffered alone as a result of physical absence of the dad.

Are you sure you are educated? You claimed it was women vileness that caused men to stay away,right?
My post was based on if the woman proves to be dangerous or vile,and in this case your only contribution should be prayers and upkeep. Why go close to a dangerous woman?

There is no excuse for abandoning your kids after divorce. Women cater and raise the kids of the most terrible men out there , of men who abused them,of men who failed them, of men who broke them.
We stay in the worst of marriages for our kids sake but you will take the first run "for peace of mind sake"

How about struggle for custody of your child if she is that bad? The kids most likely bear your surname,the law favors your kind. So what's the excuse?

Keep giving excuses. Excuses you will never take from women when vetting them. It will never change the fact most of you are irresponsible. That is why you die lonely without love. Look at rashidi yekeni,one of our greatest footballer. His last days were sad. He was defecating in public.talking to himself. He died in a lonely mansion despite his many kids from different women. Or did all the women manipulated the kids?

Before children will avenge the death of the father's even if it means them losing their lives in the process. But now to put your picture on father's day is a problem . Or is it that all women are manipulating their kids?
How can in a family of 5 kids a woman manipulates all of them, so 1 of them could not attest of your goodness or paternal love? Just one?

You think it is normal for a grown child to come denounce his father or change his surname in adulthood? Oh,your defence is the same "the mother manipulated him". No introspection. It is never the man fault. Everything she tells the kids are lies. Even when they witness him beating her or are aware of his side chicks

When you are ready you ,you will tell your gender to act better

modified
For those of you divorced men waiting for your children to come look for you as is the usual practice. Better zero your mind on them. Kids are wiser now. You can't decieve them with the altar call or show up when you aging. Except you are very rich( most kids like to identify with wealthy them as their fathers ) no one wants an aging man who usually comes with health issues. They may reconcile or want to know their routes but don't expect devotion or care or introducing you to your grandkids or inviting you over for holidays or building house for you or video calls or nursing you or sending you money or renovating your leaking roof

mauchiz:
Many men forget there children once they divorce or separate from their wife, this is very bad, especially when they get married to another woman, which will not want the man give his children attention, that's why divorce is not good.
Once the man gets married to another wife, he moves on, his attention is divided, he starts having another family and forgets the old ones.
But a woman does not forget her children when she remarries, she carries them along somehow.
Women are precious being

Lol assumptions as usual,because most times another man will help her take care of her kids while the man is still in charge of both coupled with the working for both kids and giving attention to the new one.The new woman most times won't like to have his children around.Take it from someone who had stepmothers

You people put women on a pedestal sha.

My dad still take care of me and my siblings very well 🥺 22 freaking years after my mom's death. So it's not all men that abandoned their family after divorce or death of partner 😳

avicky:

That's not true. I have seen a father who abandoned his son after separation. The wife wants him to be involved in the son's life but he wouldn't budge. School fees, feeding, health has been the responsibility of the struggling mother.
Look, so many irresponsible fathers out there. Two sane adults should not bring their kids into the fracas between them.
So I don't buy your assertion.

Being a part of a child's life is far beyond all the bills you listed. And yes, struggling mother and we should pity her. Is the man not struggling too?
If he is not financially capable of footing all those bill, these bitter single mum will not let him have access to see his kids or chat with them or play with them. All they want is paying bills. The age at which men carry all the bukata like a double load tipper is over.
And if a a single mother cuts off a man's access to his child, he will let them be. But in future it will be a problem of identity for the child.
Welcome to gender equality you all clamoured for.

CuriousStudent:

Are you sure you are educated? You claimed it was women vileness that caused men to stay away,right?
My post was based on if the woman proves to be dangerous or vile,and in this case your only contribution should be prayers and upkeep. Why go close to a dangerous woman?

There is no excuse for abandoning your kids after divorce. Women cater and raise the kids of the most terrible men out there , of men who abused them,of men who failed them, of men who broke them.
We stay in the worst of marriages for our kids sake but you will take the first run "for peace of mind sake"

How about struggle for custody of your child if she is that bad? The kids most likely bear your surname,the law favors your kind. So what's the excuse?

Keep giving excuses. Excuses you will never take from women when vetting them. It will never change the fact most of you are irresponsible. That is why you die lonely without love. Look at rashidi yekeni,one of our greatest footballer. His last days were sad. He was defecating in public.talking to himself. He died in a lonely mansion despite his many kids from different women. Or did all the women manipulated the kids?

Before children will avenge the death of the father's even if it means them losing their lives in the process. But now to put your picture on father's day is a problem . Or is it that all women are manipulating their kids?
How can in a family of 5 kids a woman manipulates all of them, so 1 of them could not attest of your goodness or paternal love? Just one?

You think it is normal for a grown child to come denounce his father or change his surname in adulthood? Oh,your defence is the same "the mother manipulated him". No introspection. It is never the man fault. Everything she tells the kids are lies. Even when they witness him beating her or are aware of his side chicks

When you are ready you ,you will tell your gender to act better

I hate this kind of people when they are trying to make an argument.Why are you insulting him and saying he will die alone lol.HE WILL NOT BE IRRESPONSIBLE LIKE YOUR OWN FATHER.

You point out a particular man who died alone,funny how there are also scenarios of men who had multiple children from different wives but still died with with love around them lol.

Stop projecting.Yes men will vet who want to get married to so as to avoid getting divorced later.I like how you blame everything on men.It shows how emotional you are about this topic and It isn't right for someone like you to make an argument for women because you will end up shooting scoring an own goal.

21NAUGHTYUTY:
My dad still take care of me and my siblings very well 🥺 22 freaking years after my mom's death. So it's not all men that abandoned their family after divorce or death of partner 😳

Thank God can you edit it and make it bold please.Men don too suffer for women mistakes.