₦airaland Forum

She is 26 years plus, has 4 kids already.

Her husband has been working and providing for the family until he had an accident which affected his waist. The company stopped him from working because it affected his mobility and productivity.

She reached out to her mother for capital so she can start a business. The mother refused to help her. She gave him a condition that she should leave the marriage and she will sponsor her to travel abroad.

The mother told her that she is too young to suffer in that marriage, that she can easily remarry.

A fictional tale to shame women. Imagine catering for four kids and a bedridden man at the age of 26( when your mates are going from dates to dates and partying)

This should be the duty of a woman in her 50s whereby haven enjoyed the protection and provision of a man for decades, repays him by nursing him and taking care of him when ill health arises but not a young lady at 26.
So try to see things from the mother perspective.

Men walk out of their families and abandon their wives with kids if they feel overwhelmed or for their peace of mind,so why should this be different?

The lady in question can drop the man temporarily with his relations and give her kids to her parents then go Abroad. While abroad she can be sending money for the upkeep of her kids and husband till she can bring the kids over. The man should remain in naija while the wife hires a nurse and sends up keep till he is stable enough before he can join them over.

modified:
those incels/broke/frustrated/ never-do-well/good-for-nothing men rolling in sand over my comments,I am not responsible for your failures in life.
I only advised her to make the best choice for herself.

For her getting a chance at another marriage is not the question her. You can no longer Shame women into marriage. All she need is constant pennisses servicing. You are very dispensable. No more worries on what people will say.so act right and do your best so that your wife will give her best if things go wrong with you.
If you have lawyers in Abuja confirm from them on how women are easily filing for divorce

Ciao

We can agree that many mothers are the problem of failed marriages.

jmoore:
The mother told her that she is too young to suffer in that marriage, that she can easily remarry.

...with 4 cubs.

CuriousStudent:
A fictional tale to shame women. Imagine catering for four kids and a bedridden man at the age of 26( when your mates are going from dates to dates and partying)

This should be the date of a woman in her 50s whereby haven enjoyed the protection and provision of a man for decades, repays him by nursing him and taking care of him when I'll health arises but not a young lady at 26.

Fictional tale by who? Some of you think the world ends and begin in your street.
Any frequent listener of wazobia fm portharcourt especially on Omotalk or dj smartdon show knows this story. The lady narrated the story by herself.

DevilishMan:
...with 4 cubs.

Read the full story,she will marry abroad not in naija . Only naija bred men hold prejudice towards divorcees.

Day by day women walk into their second or sometimes third marriage abroad with kids, not here in naija

darkmarky:
We can agree that many mothers are the problem of failed marriages.

If it is a man just building and starting his life in his early 30s who has a wife with an illness that will keep her bedridden and unable to fufil her duties as wife (including sex), will he continue to cater for her and the kids,(shuffling from work to returning home to do domestic chores plus no sex) or he will drop the kids with his relatives and wife with her parents whilst sending money to his kids?

darkmarky:
We can agree that many mothers are the problem of failed marriages.

don't get too emotional. What if the story is a joke

CuriousStudent:
If it is a man just building and starting his life in his early 30s who has a wife with an illness that will keep her bedridden and unable to fufil her duties as wife (including sex), will he continue to cater for her and the kids,(shuffling from work to returning home to do domestic chores plus no sex) or he will drop the kids with his relatives and wife with her parents whilst sending money to his kids?

you are asking this because you know you will do it. Shame on you.

another NOLLY SUPERSTORY TELLER OF NAIRALAND, una welldone...

CuriousStudent:
A fictional tale to shame women. Imagine catering for four kids and a bedridden man at the age of 26( when your mates are going from dates to dates and partying)

This should be the duty of a woman in her 50s whereby haven enjoyed the protection and provision of a man for decades, repays him by nursing him and taking care of him when ill health arises but not a young lady at 26.
So try to see things from the mother perspective.

Men walk out of their families and abandon their wives with kids if they feel overwhelmed or for their peace of mind,so why should this be different?

The lady in question can drop the man temporarily with his relations and give her kids to her parents then go Abroad. While abroad she can be sending money for the upkeep of her kids and husband till she can bring the kids over. The man should remain in naija while the wife hires a nurse and sends up keep till he is stable enough before he can join them over

In as much as this advice is very brutal but this is the truth if we want to face reality. Some men are very callous and won't think twice bringing in a second wife if it was the reverse. If the lady in question can read this your advice, it would be better for her. She's too young to be overburdened when there is a way out for her. Some of her mates are still sampling men here she is at 26 with 4 kids already. Haba mana

Wicked mother!

WICKED MOTHER!

At 26 with 4 children, no tertiary education nor vocational skills and now saddled with a husband who struggles with disability....long days ahead.

darkmarky:
you are asking this because you know you will do it. Shame on you.

I am female.
Answer simple question.

If you were a man,just starting life and your wife has an accident that makes her permanently bedridden. You will have to bathe her,clean her poo,bathe and care for four kids,cook,clean,wash,and still go to work,infact you are doing the duties of both husband and wife. Will you take up this new way of life while your mate are clubbing,partying and women changing or you will return her to her parents and drop your kids with relatives while sending money to both of wife and kids.

Yes or no?( No long talk,just yes or no)

fyzaila:
In as much as this advice is very brutal but this is the truth if we want to face reality. Some men are very callous and won't think twice bringing in a second wife if it was the reverse If the lady in question can read this your advice, it would be better for her. She's too young to be overburdened when there is a way out for her. Some of her mates are still sampling men here she is at 26 with 4 kids already. Haba mana

Most men not some men.90% of men will return her to her father's house and be visiting and sending money.

CuriousStudent:
Most men not some men.90% of men will return her to her father's house and be visiting and sending money.

True

CuriousStudent:
Most men not some men.90% of men will return her to her father's house and be visiting and sending money.

You are right.

If you visit psychiatric hospitals in Nigeria and go to the male wards, you are more likely to see married women during visiting hours with their admitted husbands but go to the female wards, very insignificant number of men visit their wives who have been admitted there. For most men, getting the wife admitted is the best they can do and visit few times and disappear from the scene, abandoning her to her birth family to take care of.

fyzaila:
In as much as this advice is very brutal but this is the truth if we want to face reality. Some men are very callous and won't think twice bringing in a second wife if it was the reverse. If the lady in question can read this your advice, it would be better for her. She's too young to be overburdened when there is a way out for her. Some of her mates are still sampling men here she is at 26 with 4 kids already. Haba mana

Nice. Now sit back, relax and think if this accident happened to your brother, will you encourage his wife to abandon him. Please be truthful to yourself and i don't need your reply.

Sangoamadioha1:
Nice. Now sit back, relax and think if this accident happened to your brother, will you encourage his wife to abandon him. Please be truthful to yourself and i don't need your reply.

That is my problem with you guys . Your empathic and soft side is revealed only when a man is the victim. When it's a woman that is the subject then you activate the "logic" mode.

Few weeks back you guys were justifying men that abandon their kids after divorce with theories and logical explanation. Days back it was cheating in men, giving logical explanation and the rest on why it should be normalized. Then yesterday polygamy.

But just a story of a man as the subject,Mr logic takes the back seat and Mr empathy is activated

CuriousStudent:
That is my problem with you guys . Your empathic and soft side is revealed only when a man is the victim. When it's a woman that is the subject then you activate the "logic" mode.

Few weeks back you guys were justifying men that abandon their kids after divorce with theories and logical explanation. Days back it was cheating in men, giving logical explanation and the rest on why it should be normalized. Then yesterday polygamy.

But just a story of a man as the subject,Mr logic takes the back seat and Mr empathy is activated

I see male and female as humans first. The empathy i advocate is for humans in general.
When dealing with another human, first ask yourself if you would like what you are doing to another person to be done to you. If you are comfortable with your actions then by all means continue.

Sangoamadioha1:
I see male and female as humans first. The empathy i advocate is for humans in general.
When dealing with another human, first ask yourself if you would like what you are doing to another person to be done to you. If you are comfortable with your actions then by all means continue.

Wow! A clear case of applying intellectualization as a defense mechanism!

Mindlog:
Wow! A clear case of applying intellectualization as a defense mechanism!

You are entitled to your opinion.

How the man treated her before the accident should help her take a decision. If he used to treat her badly or cheated on her, then she should know where to place him . His side chick should come and clean his poop, but If he was a good husband before the accident, she should not abandon him. She can travel to make money then be visiting him from time to time.

May God not allow us to be hard tested.
This is not your regular occurrence. The mother has money to send her abroad she no fit use that money pay for surgery? Hopefully he gets better, gets a job or his former job and pay her back. 4 kids at 26, she fit cope?
People be going through alot.

CuriousStudent:
Read the full story,she will marry abroad not in naija . Only naija bred men hold prejudice towards divorcees.

Day by day women walk into their second or sometimes third marriage abroad with kids, not here in naija

No man abroad will marry a lady with 4 kids. Do you know how expensive it is to take care of kids abroad? Do you know that woman can't work because of the kids?

Nigerfine3:
No man abroad will marry a lady with 4 kids. Do you know how expensive it is to take care of kids abroad? Do you know that woman can't work because of the kids?

Going by the story, the children will remain in Nigerian while she relocates alone. It is clear the mother never supported the marriage, instead of her daughter to focus on furthering her education she was busy being pregnant and nursing babies for the past 8 years of her life (if they were single births).

The mother is evil.

Mindlog:
You are right.

If you visit psychiatric hospitals in Nigeria and go to the male wards, you are more likely to see married women during visiting hours with their admitted husbands but go to the female wards, very insignificant number of men visit their wives who have been adthere. For most men, getting the wife admitted is
the best they can do and visit few times and disappear from the scene, abandoning her to her birth family to take care of.

. You are very right... this is what I see everyday in the hospital

DevilishMan:
...with 4 cubs.

lol 🤣🤣🤣 na lion dem be??