₦airaland Forum

addmole:
I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.

Anyway sha, lets move on...

5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.

Omo...
The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.

I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.

I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.

ANOTHER PART OF HER:
My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.

We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.

I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.

I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.

Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.

i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.

Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.

She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.

What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.

Femmyfamous4u:
That's not true. We are not made same. My wife does not like sex and her love for me is unwavering, proven beyond doubts.

Evestar200:
Maybe You are not her dream man

That Woman Married you because of Marriage pressure not because she loves you.

There is no way a woman who loves, Cares and has feelings will not like to do anything with you no matter how angry she is.

Offpointng:
Reason why I tell young men like myself, Dont allow Love becloud your senses of reasoning. Trust me the sign were always right there, you were just blind to it

I used to have what you'd call an Ex then, Same way OP describe his wife was exactly who she is. Twinkling annoys her and she immediately changes it for you, hugs from the back esp when she's in the kitchen immediately changes her mood and get her so angry, Simple romance like hugging (common hugging) she'd push you away, You can't have a healthy and Intelligent talk with her, Always defensive and hardly apologises, Any Play other than the use of mouth to call each other Big head is a No No for her, Loves sleeping like some descendants of Koala, So boring and everything bored you can think of. Firstly, I thought all these happened cuz she's still a Virgin at that age, but I've got Virgin friends that we play and have lotta fun without having sex and are not so boring like she is. Later Got to find out that's just who she was, not cuz she's a virgin or something

So that faithful night we were all loved up on chat and we chatted till she wanted to sleep and told me we'd chat the next day, so we said the lovers Good night and went to bed. But before I got to sleep, I told myself I'm so done with this girl. Normally, she always expects I do the Good morning text first or the Good morning call all the time. But this time, woke up and din call her or text her Good morning, I went bout my normal day activities like she never existed. All those time till in the evening she never call or texted until I uploaded a picture of Myself and my guys chilling bfr we replied the status and of cuz some Rude Bullshit text, I read and din reply.

She called me that night bout twice and I din pick nor returned the call, of course she took to WhatsApp again forming boss lady, I made sure i read and din reply and went to sleep putting my phone on flight mode incase she wanna disturb my sleep with calls.

Oooboy I dabaru that girl head cuz we had no fight the night bfr, we chatted so cool and was even talking bout marriage plans next day she kept calling and calling, pick for where. took her sis phone to call me unknown to me I picked, my people come see cool broken voice that I've not heard in months. I immediately cut and blocked. Any she took to crying on VN telling me if she's done anything forgive me bla bla, But nigga man's mind was made up. She got into depression and every effort her, her friends, her family made to reach out to me, I blocked em all. I moved on. Well after so many months I'm glad to let y'all know she's still single cuz I doubt any guy can be patient with her like I was

So Op the signs were always there, you just turned blind eyes to em.

C2Ok:
Upon say you don choose to Dey chop one soup for the rest of your life, then come still Dey give you timetable of when to chop the same old soup?😂🤲
I’m not supporting you marry a second wife or cheat oo, I’m just saying you should show yourself some love, you’re the price and shouldn’t be under a timetable for marital sex👀

UnfairLife7:
I disagree

My maternal cousin's sister doesn't like sex as well and she and her hubby are still together. I have a female friend who doesn't like sex too

We're made differently

SenecaTheYonger:
This has nothing to do with dream man. Many women don't marry their dream men, because their dream men don't even consider them as spec. That's why there are so many baby mama's because most of them try to trap their "dream man" with pregnancy, but end up finding out the man doesn't want them in his future.

@OP, it could be hormone, especially if it happened after she had kids. Pregnancy can really mess up a woman. Go to a hormonal doctor let them tell you the test to run.

kaymart:
Every woman would turn simp when he finds the man she really wants...

Evestar200:
Maybe You are not her dream man

That Woman Married you because of Marriage pressure not because she loves you.

There is no way a woman who loves, Cares and has feelings will not like to do anything with you no matter how angry she is.

addmole:
I love these bold words. Thank you. SO DIRECT. You hit the nail. This is exactly what they feel. The mother tells me to my face, that if I want to serve her daughter divorce papers, I should bring it. My wife also says she's ready. They don't care. I cannot even pick phone to report my wife to them again. Even with her sisters. I cant try it. The elder sister doesn't listen to me when I try to talk about issues of my wife. I have stopped visiting them since 3 years. Omo, a lot of things to say, be like I go delete this thread.

Offpointng:
Reason why I tell young men like myself, Dont allow Love becloud your senses of reasoning. Trust me the sign were always right there, you were just blind to it

I used to have what you'd call an Ex then, Same way OP describe his wife was exactly who she is. Twinkling annoys her and she immediately changes it for you, hugs from the back esp when she's in the kitchen immediately changes her mood and get her so angry, Simple romance like hugging (common hugging) she'd push you away, You can't have a healthy and Intelligent talk with her, Always defensive and hardly apologises, Any Play other than the use of mouth to call each other Big head is a No No for her, Loves sleeping like some descendants of Koala, So boring and everything bored you can think of. Firstly, I thought all these happened cuz she's still a Virgin at that age, but I've got Virgin friends that we play and have lotta fun without having sex and are not so boring like she is. Later Got to find out that's just who she was, not cuz she's a virgin or something

So that faithful night we were all loved up on chat and we chatted till she wanted to sleep and told me we'd chat the next day, so we said the lovers Good night and went to bed. But before I got to sleep, I told myself I'm so done with this girl. Normally, she always expects I do the Good morning text first or the Good morning call all the time. But this time, woke up and din call her or text her Good morning, I went bout my normal day activities like she never existed. All those time till in the evening she never call or texted until I uploaded a picture of Myself and my guys chilling bfr we replied the status and of cuz some Rude Bullshit text, I read and din reply.

She called me that night bout twice and I din pick nor returned the call, of course she took to WhatsApp again forming boss lady, I made sure i read and din reply and went to sleep putting my phone on flight mode incase she wanna disturb my sleep with calls.

Oooboy I dabaru that girl head cuz we had no fight the night bfr, we chatted so cool and was even talking bout marriage plans next day she kept calling and calling, pick for where. took her sis phone to call me unknown to me I picked, my people come see cool broken voice that I've not heard in months. I immediately cut and blocked. Any she took to crying on VN telling me if she's done anything forgive me bla bla, But nigga man's mind was made up. She got into depression and every effort her, her friends, her family made to reach out to me, I blocked em all. I moved on. Well after so many months I'm glad to let y'all know she's still single cuz I doubt any guy can be patient with her like I was

So Op the signs were always there, you just turned blind eyes to em.

Foodqueen:
You said you are financially stable, are you sure the money is really coming from you

For her family to be supporting her like this.

Maybe she masturbate, we've read here, where women deny their husbands sex and masturbate later... Ayama.. 🤷

addmole:
I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.

Anyway sha, lets move on...

5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.

Omo...
The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.

I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.

I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.

ANOTHER PART OF HER:
My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.

We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.

I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.

I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.

Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.

i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.

Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.

She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.

What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.

addmole:
I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.

Anyway sha, lets move on...

5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.

Omo...
The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.

I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.

I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.

ANOTHER PART OF HER:
My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.

We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.

I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.

I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.

Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.

i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.

Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.

She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.

What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.

akube34:
I wonder how this is even an issue. Find side chicks or visit codedruns.com. Na u Dey stress ur self ooo