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Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) - Romance (11) - Nairaland

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Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by GUNITGuy: 12:25pm On Nov 11, 2023
Yusufisraelj:



I get your submission, and it's true. I will take a bit of a tangent to address the problem from a personal responsibility point of view.

A man/woman cannot give what they don't have. How many have taken out time to study about marriage, a man, a woman, love making, communication, career growth etc? Just to name a few. We live in a country where we don't appreciate information from the little things to advance concepts like rockets and space exploration, very few Nigerians do, hence the paucity of worthy success references.

I was watching a podcast this evening and the speaker was saying modern arrange marriages outlives marriages built on falling in love at first by a good percentage, why? Because an arranged marriage brings at it's core COMMITMENT, and so both partners have an orientation to make things work, accept each other's weaknesses and are willing to commit to the growth of the other person and themselves. This does not negate the fact that love at first doesn't work, but emotions don't see people through difficult times commitment does, and so of that's at the core of the relationship them possibly it may last.

My submission is this, we need a constant studying of finding out from ourselves to our partners and what will make the relationship improve, people just go about with what they're told or what society seems to recognize, not knowing there's a superior way of living, if they'll find out.

I believe the beauty of any love relationship is when two willing people commit to each other and are willing to improve the dynamics of that relationship at all LEVELS via communication and information while also having the maturity to resolve conflict in a constructive manner.
I learnt from what youre saying.... Honestly you try

1 Like

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Magnoliaa(f): 12:25pm On Nov 11, 2023
Little21:
After yelling on this thread, they are gonna use paracetamol for the headache they have developed from this thread grin cheesy

grin grin grin
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Shebbs: 12:27pm On Nov 11, 2023
Goodlady:
To butress the op, Nigerian men lacked empathy. Empathy ll place them in the position of not questioning a lady that they are dating or married about finances, gifts, sex etc.
They don't realise that relationship is responsibility. They ll say what your father can't give you, you dey ask from me.
Why you come toast me (woo)?
As I come gree, am I not entitled to your resources?
They also lacked empathy of hurting their wives or female partners deliberately with cheating. They don't put themselves in women's shoe that how ll I feel if she's the one cheating?
Abeg make I no tok talk in order not to be misquoted. πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜‚
The violence is needed for cleansing of the minds of the reprobate dirty boys here that can't feed themselves but talk anyhow here against females.



Your Parents Should Be Proud Of You For Writing This Nonsense? You Are Not A Responsibility To Any Man Who Has Not Paid A Dime On Your Coconut Head, If That Is The Mentality You Have Going Into Relationship Please Stay Single Before They’ll Use You As Sacrificial Offering For Ritual, That’s If They’ve Not Used You Already.

PS: Majority Of Una No Get Womb But Na Una Dey Stress Man Pass With Billing.

2 Likes

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by franchasofficia: 12:29pm On Nov 11, 2023
Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands
Stop generalizing.


If you make mistake as a lady and use wrong criteria and greed or youthful exuberances and make the wrong choice of man, don't use your own predicament to judge for other amazing ladies enjoying heaven on earth in their marriages to amazing men they accepted as husbands.



I speak as a proud amazing husband to a wonderful lady.


My wife always prays for me and always say it that she prays to marry me again in next life if there is next life. she also pray that our little daughter finds a worthy man like her dad when she is ripe for marriage.



I provide 100% financial security.

Despite my busy schedule and considering my financial status, I still spoon feed our babies and also babysit them even when we have baby minders and nanny for them. We also have a live in help but I don't care I still take care of my kids whenever I can.


So pray for a good man and stop being too stubborn and pessimistic about finding a great man. Be positive, pray and wear good character, humility and respect as a clothe and God will give you the best

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Magnoliaa(f): 12:29pm On Nov 11, 2023
TheFinesseKid:
you're still doing it. 😭😭🀣😭😭omg. I'm close to tears. I didn't know I was dealing with a child.

That's what I want to hear. Give it a little more push; you should be close to the kind of tears I want.


I hope you have a panadol packet and a bottle of water handy? I'm rooting for you on your cry-a-thon. 🀍❀
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Nobody: 12:31pm On Nov 11, 2023
Little21:
After yelling on this thread, they are gonna use paracetamol for the headache they have developed from this thread grin cheesy
grin grin grin

They have opened another thread,picked responses here and put there.

Most Nigerian men are what they accuse women of grin grin. Very dumb insecure bunch!

I

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by TheFinesseKid: 12:31pm On Nov 11, 2023
Magnoliaa:


That's what I want to hear. Give it a little more push; you should be close to the kind of tears I want.


I hope you have a panadol packet and a bottle of water handy? I'm rooting for you on your cry-a-thon. 🀍❀
I swearugad.. you're a petulant child. πŸ˜­πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚You would make a good clown. Yunno?
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Shebbs: 12:33pm On Nov 11, 2023
Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands

Before You Go Haywire With This Your Impassioned Opinion And Hatred For Men Because Of Your Experiences With Your Numerous Ex’s I Hope You Still Have Womb?
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Nobody: 12:33pm On Nov 11, 2023
franchasofficia:
Stop generalizing.


If you make mistake as a lady and use wrong criteria and greed or youthful exuberances and make the wrong choice of man, don't use your own predicament to judge for other amazing ladies enjoying heaven on earth in their marriages to amazing men they accepted as husbands.



I speak as a proud amazing husband to a wonderful lady.


My wife always prays for me and always say it that she prays to marry me again in next life if there is next life. she also pray that our little daughter finds a worthy man like her dad when she is ripe for marriage.



I provide 100% financial security.

Despite my busy schedule and considering my financial status, I still spoon feed our babies and also babysit them even when we have baby minders and nanny for them. We also have a live in help but I don't care I still take care of my kids whenever I can.


So pray for a good man and stop being too stubborn and pessimistic about finding a great man. Be positive, pray and wear good character, humility and respect as a clothe and God will give you the best
Thank you Oga Francis.

Sorry about the generalization, can I say 99.9% men? grin

2 Likes

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by eepeepook: 12:34pm On Nov 11, 2023
I did not read. Lol.

1 Like

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Magnoliaa(f): 12:37pm On Nov 11, 2023
TheFinesseKid:
I swearugad.. you're a petulant child. πŸ˜­πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚You would make a good clown. Yunno?

Do you have a timer set? Because all your cries will amount to nothing if GWR no later recognise you last last.
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Wellington123: 12:38pm On Nov 11, 2023
Take a look at all the boys u ever dated when u were dating them… they were all better than u. What does that tell u? Women do not love men unconditionally but u make all the demands in this world of how u should be loved. This is d biggest bias in d world

2 Likes

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Dybala11(m): 12:40pm On Nov 11, 2023
Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands
Sorry if the men you've met all your life are those without training, empathy, kindness, self care, belonging, self love and only thinks about providing for you and nothing else. That been said, you still don't have enough premise or data to draw and invalid conclusion like this ma, there's a popular saying that "like attracts like" .
There are several successful marriages all around me, you must have tried all Nigerian men to conclude that they all make terrible horsebands. πŸ€”
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Goztino(m): 12:40pm On Nov 11, 2023
Probably in her early 20s.
Na so them dey foool around imagining inexistent stuffs until in their 30s then they start jumping from one ministry to another praying for a husband.

2 Likes

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Dybala11(m): 12:40pm On Nov 11, 2023
pocohantas:
Hahahahaha. Truly you are in the mood to look for trouble. I feel the same way. That is why I looked towards Cambodia.
Good for you abeg.

1 Like

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by TheFinesseKid: 12:40pm On Nov 11, 2023
Magnoliaa:


Do you have a timer set? Because all your cries will amount to nothing if GWR no later recognise you last last.
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£ Little gurl. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ You need to calm your tits o. I'm not here to squabble. If I didn't know better, I'd think you're just another one of those feminist morons roaming this space. Easy now tigress.
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Magnoliaa(f): 12:42pm On Nov 11, 2023
TheFinesseKid:
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£ Little gurl. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ You need to calm your tits o. I'm not here to squabble. If I didn't know better, I'd think you're just another one of those feminist morons roaming this space. Easy now tigress.

You go cry tire se. You're just starting.
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by TheFinesseKid: 12:42pm On Nov 11, 2023
Goztino:
Probably in her early 20s.
Na so them dey foool around imagining inexistent stuffs until in their 30s then they start jumping from one ministry to another praying for a husband.
she definitely is in her early 20's and you know what's funny? The nigga digging her currently is Nigerian, and she isn't gonna end up with him. πŸ˜‚
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by TheFinesseKid: 12:43pm On Nov 11, 2023
Magnoliaa:


You go cry tire se. You're just starting.
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜πŸ€£ You're making me laugh. I wonder why you keep talking about "cries". You're the only one getting agitated here. Lmfao.
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Magnoliaa(f): 12:48pm On Nov 11, 2023
TheFinesseKid:
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜πŸ€£ You're making me laugh. I wonder why you keep talking about "cries". You're the only one getting agitated here. Lmfao.

Ani you go cry, cry your eyeballs comot for their sockets.

Keep going.
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by TheFinesseKid: 12:49pm On Nov 11, 2023
Magnoliaa:


Ani you go cry, cry your eyeballs out.

Keep going.
🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣 You wish. I'll see you around. Smallie. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜­πŸ₯΄πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by djon78(m): 12:50pm On Nov 11, 2023
Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands



Then marry who you want

While those that want Nigerian Men are doing that every weekend

That's your perogative and choice

Plenty ladies not married to Nigerian men
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Magnoliaa(f): 12:51pm On Nov 11, 2023
TheFinesseKid:
🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣 You wish. I'll see you around. Smallie. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜­πŸ₯΄πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Yes. Let those beautiful, delicious tears flow. Let it all out.
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Pelumisamuel(m): 12:57pm On Nov 11, 2023
Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands
really
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Pelumisamuel(m): 1:01pm On Nov 11, 2023
yrhuhfy113:


wow, awesome... you are right and have a strong point
A very compeling piece of idea about Nigerian men... sadly its true but wholistically its myopic.


I am not here to make a CASE for men... i acknowledge your expressed thoughts as reality but as INCOMPLETE.

SEE, MEN ARE NOT LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY... We are only LOVED BY MERIT, RAISED AS HUNTERS TO COMPETE AND PROVIDE else we are not competent.

THE THINGS YOU MENTION WE LACK ARE ACTUALLY NOT LACKING BUT SURPRESSED BY THE HARSH REALITIES OF LIFE WE HAVE LIVED THROUGH....


Let me explain... EVEN on the case of wooing or getting a LADY for sex or marriage... LADIES GENERALLY FEEL SAFER WITH A RICH DUDE, THAN A CARING, EMPATHETIC S.O.B. Whyyy because the COUNTRY IS HARD.... and Ladies think of the FUTURE ALOT.
So after being drilled by our parents to always COME FIRST IN CLASS, and being punished for not coming first or not outdoing others.... we now enter a tetiary institution where only the BEST GRADUANDS are assured of jobs or connections... so we have to compete, hustle for money and do everything possible to be among those who thrive or survive.. AFTER YEARS OF LIVING AS A SURVIVOR.... we now marry, with HOOOOOGEE responsibilities, wife and kids... most likely WIFE HAS NOTHING DOING OR EARNS LITTLE YET FEELS ENTITLED TO BE TREATED LIKE A QUEEN.... Then we should let down our GUARD and still be as caring, as emotionally sensitive, as all that you women want us to be??
C'mon sis... YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL.

Marry unambitious men from other countries who are not living in the same terrible conditions we have had in NIGERIA... they have emotions to spare, because THEIR FINANCIAL SYSTEM WORKS and is DEPENDABLE... not here. So you can't come here and GENERALIZE, when majority of your GENDER.... WILL CHOOSE SIX CARS OVER SIX PACKS. Pls... have some balance.

Little wonder why MEN are no longer interested in MARRIAGE... because it has become like an orphanage, so baby mama is now what many opt for, so as to retain their freedom. Ladies wanting EVERYTHING yet offering so little JUST BECAUSE THEY EXIST, is the highest form of lowkey witchcraft ever. grin

ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME, ALL WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME..... MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE..... BUT MONEY IS IMPORTANT TO ALL.
God bless you, you can't eat your cake and have it back
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Geovanni412(m): 1:05pm On Nov 11, 2023
Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands

What you said applies to most successful men on earth and not really a Nigerian man thing

Have you ever wondered why most wealthy men have turbulent marriages?

Most CEO's are pure psychopaths -https://bigthink.com/leadership/corporate-psychopath-ceo/

If the Nigerian woman wants to marry the successful rich man, then she may have to pay the price and cope with a psychopath

It is up to her to learn how to deal with such persons or to avoid them completely even if it means settling with a middle class man or a struggling man

You can't have ya cake and eat it.

2 Likes

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Dougad: 1:06pm On Nov 11, 2023
I came here thinking it would be in a ten reasons list like this nigga tosyne2much used to do.
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by joseph1832(m): 1:09pm On Nov 11, 2023
Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands
A round of applause to you for making hasty generations. πŸ‘
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by NNEVERAGAINN: 1:16pm On Nov 11, 2023
Goodlady:
To butress the op, Nigerian men lacked empathy. Empathy ll place them in the position of not questioning a lady that they are dating or married about finances, gifts, sex etc.
They don't realise that relationship is responsibility. They ll say what your father can't give you, you dey ask from me.
Why you come toast me (woo)?
As I come gree, am I not entitled to your resources?
They also lacked empathy of hurting their wives or female partners deliberately with cheating. They don't put themselves in women's shoe that how ll I feel if she's the one cheating?
Abeg make I no tok talk in order not to be misquoted. πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜‚
The violence is needed for cleansing of the minds of the reprobate dirty boys here that can't feed themselves but talk anyhow here against females.
what are you doing on Tinder?
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by NNEVERAGAINN: 1:21pm On Nov 11, 2023
Jeon:
πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

So I am not alone.
Jeon you're unmarried, don't call men names. Not every men are like your ex’s. You have so many body count already, yet you still join the feminist gang to call men all sought of namesπŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™‚οΈ...
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Aringon(m): 1:22pm On Nov 11, 2023
Madam,

If you marry wrong these are the things you get but if you marry the right person, you will enjoy your marriage. It's a mindset you MUST change, whether you are going to marry an American, British, Chinese, indian or.......... , there are challenges in marriage which you must work together with your husband to overcome through prayers, understanding, love and respect for each other.

Aa a woman you MUST first respect your husband to derive the best from him but if you copy and paste the OYIBO lifestyle of FEMINISM, YOU GO SUFFER.

You must contribute to the success of the marriage, you must make financial intelligence an important ingredient, don't spend money anyhow, don't hold your money from him, don't report the issues in your marriage to a third-party NO MATTER what happened.

If 2 people don't agree, they can't work together




Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Caleycash(m): 1:25pm On Nov 11, 2023
Persephone1:
Okay! I will respond to this, other mentions are from narrow-minded lots who can't deal with the fact that every being ( man or woman ) has freedom of choice and desire.

1) You are right, I have attentively analyzed the Nigerian marriage system and I do not like it. I am from the most liberal tribe in Nigeria but I still do not find the "give and take" systematic structure of marriages pleasing enough. This is from a place of personal preference.

2) Lol you are wrong there, that they do not meet my expectations do not mean I think low of them cheesy. There are some same ones but when it comes to relationships most have a lot to learn. Starting with emotional intelligence, did you read a thread where a guy shouted at his suicidal girlfriend and hung up on her because according to him"she didn't say what was wrong with her"? Well, girlfriend ended up killing herself. Now lack of sensitivity and emotions with partners is something common with Nigerian men, it is why a husband would not notice a change in his wife's mood or body until she is admitted to the hospital. I have seen lots of cases and I don't find them pleasing at all.

3) I get your drift. Nevertheless, both couples should learn about each other. On submission and head, I don't have an issue with that as long as the leadership isn't autocratic or dictatorship or the submission isn't subversive.

4) Good, hopefully, this will continue and soon enough all marriages will be enjoyed not endured.

5) In the Western world there's hardly discrimination of roles. Couples understand their weakness and strength and complement one another. They share roles according to ability and willingness, you may never come across gender roles with them. And when there is it comes with different forms of support that ensures none is burdened. But here you see people saying it is the job of a man to provide any which way ( even if he is limited) while a seven-month pregnant wife must take care of the home any which way. A very toxic system if you ask me.

6) Analyze the shortcoming of both genders in marriage and you will realize which gender has the most redemption and restitution to do. I have written it here once, a Nigerian lady has only financial dependency syndrome to deal with if she's to date or marry outside her race while Nigerian men have so much more to correct. If Nigerian women travel more, they will be hot cake out there, because they are very homely and lovely. But Nigerian men are trained to be money bags which in the long run does not meet long-term commitment standards.

Although there are some black sheep most marriages fail when the woman gets tired of enduring in Nigeria.
Your I too know will ruin you!... you can never be a man and the world will remain a man's world till eternity, you're just creating problems for yourself, Pathetic!

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