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My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same - Family (7) - Nairaland

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A Widower Asking For My Hand In Marriage / Help A Widower With Children Fees / 41-year-old Indonesian Widower Weds 13-year-Old 3 Months After Meeting Online (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 6:47pm On Nov 18, 2023
DrFunmisticGlow:


You no try at all.

You saw a widower, with 7 mouths to feeding, unemployed, an ex convict, and you still entered relationship. The jazz is strong

Tufiakwa!!!

Look at this Ewu. Who was unemployed? Who used jazz on who? Dem dey talk you self dey talk... This one wen Dem don turn her finger to key holder for three years now has mouth to say someone was jazzed.

Abeg get lost! Ugly duckling.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by naijapikin2(m): 6:51pm On Nov 18, 2023
Porksupplyib:


Lol. And God lives in Shiloh. grin
God does not live in SHILOH

He APPEARS IN SHILOH. πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by delishpot: 6:59pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


You still be small pikin. Na person like you Dem dey use mugu.

Their wedding pictures were on the wall. I saw the dead wife's picture in their photo album with my ex. The sister is an old 50 + woman and you think I did not look out for those details and evidences when I got there? Na so you dey do? Ta!

Lol. You just dey learn work. Inshort, I am sure he go still chop you Mugu again at this rate. That is of you still reason his matter as you are doing now. Chop you for down chop you for pocket chop you for emotion join am 🀣🀣

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 7:02pm On Nov 18, 2023
luminouz:
*sighs*

I like this auntie but her stories don dey too much.


What will I call this bayi 'Diaries of jewessgratitude" or "Musings from the past"


Aunty, try dey hide your life history na😑. People don't need to know all this biko

I don't remember begging you or anyone to like me o and please don't tell me what to bring to Nairaland and what not to bring. I'm not related to you in anyway so mind your business. If my stories annoy you, simply pass. You don't have to read it.

Face front abeg.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by 7upnigeria: 7:04pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


It's a pity how you mentioned other men as the gold medal and left yourself out. Smh.. You're clearly not one yourself and you know it. However do not assume that like yourself, other people are hopeless cos me Im not just a gold medal, but a priceless Jewel.

Keep wallowing in complexities and self degradation.

Not wishing evil but WE ARE RESPONSIBLE for whatever choices we make. You leave a man does not mean he will not meet a BETTER WOMAN. It's just like thinking if you refused to help someone, that person will not get help.

I also dont have to hype myself to portray who am not, REALITY WILL ALWAYS BE REALITY. No woman gives me terms, I SET MY OWN TERMS and I still ended up choosing the BEST WOMAN you can ever think of, you dont have to believe me and I have no intention of convincing you.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by UMUAZEE: 7:14pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.



You said this happened in 2013, 10yrs ago. Are you married now?
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by garriAndsugar: 7:16pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


Look at this Ewu. Who was unemployed? Who used jazz on who? Dem dey talk you self dey talk... This one wen Dem don turn her finger to key holder for three years now has mouth to say someone was jazzed.

Abeg get lost! Ugly duckling.
Try change even if na small abeg grin

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by ogbonna48: 7:20pm On Nov 18, 2023
Connect with me let's talk on the topic well
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Berankis: 7:21pm On Nov 18, 2023
I like your write up. You write well, must be intelligent. Anyway, I am a man and I agree that most men have the tendency to cheat, it only takes the grace of God not to.
Funny enough, I met my wife on "Baddoo". I was working for one of the telecoms companies then and we had a product package that contained Baddoo and I wanted to test the app to know more about it and luckily I met my madam and we have been married for close to 9years with 2kids. I have never cheated on her though I occasionally feel attraction for other women but I always quickly kill it or avoid it totally.
I promised myself I would never cheat because, I never thought I would come this far in life. I lived a kind of rough life in the past and God still blessed me and brought me to where I am today. I thank God for His mercies.
Here are some of my discoveries about men, women and marriage:
1. Men will always be men (they were built to desire women wether you accept it or not)
Not all men cheat, but the percentage might be low (and coupled with so much moral decadence now)
2. Women are smart and manipulative, so men have to tolerate more and pretend they don't see most things (so that life can be convenient)
3. Marriage is a 50:50 thing, if you have a good wife/husband, don't take her/him for granted, appreciate their effort and commitment (where there is commitment and effort).
4. I discovered that one actually needs principles to guide you through your life course, for example, the bible - God says don't do this and that (my brother/sister it's for your own good. If you doubt it, go ahead and knock yourself out and have a hard experience)
5. I am not the best of husbands but I always try to do my best (but I no go die before my time sha)
6. Some men can cheat and still love their wives very much (but I don't like deceit besides, cheating is a lot of hard work on its own - having to work hard to impress your side chick and work extra hard to keep it away from your wife, so that your days can be long on earth). I can't afford it anymore. I simply stay away from anything of such and I pre-occupy my mind with the goals I want to achieve in life.
7. Marriage is a fine blend of happiness and sadness (just savour both and keep moving).
8. Marriage is a big sacrifice (a lot is at stake, most importantly - the children)
9. If you have the privilege of dating before marriage, please do it well and enjoy it, cos the sparkle dey reduce inside the marriage but it doesn't reduce the love. Infact, love increases)
10. Husband and wife should work together to build things that will secure them and their family in the future.
11. Distrust, selfishness, lack of appreciation, too much smartness, too much strength, too much discipline, too much control can bring a marriage to its knees.
Just do the best you can and leave the rest to God.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by spiceadole: 7:31pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.



You wanted to get married to a widower with 6 children? And even thought of not having a child yourself?

Some of you ladies are unbelievable!

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by luminouz(m): 7:41pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


I don't remember begging you or anyone to like me o and please don't tell me what to bring to Nairaland and what not to bring. I'm not related to you in anyway so mind your business. If my stories annoy you, simply pass. You don't have to read it.

Face front abeg.
Now that you opened that door, I will walk you through it then. All bets are off!!!

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 7:41pm On Nov 18, 2023
Berankis:
I like your write up. You write well, must be intelligent. Anyway, I am a man and I agree that most men have the tendency to cheat, it only takes the grace of God not to.
Funny enough, I met my wife on "Baddoo". I was working for one of the telecoms companies then and we had a product package that contained Baddoo and I wanted to test the app to know more about it and luckily I met my madam and we have been married for close to 9years with 2kids. I have never cheated on her but I occasionally feel attraction for other women but I always quickly kill it or avoid it totally.
I promised myself I would never cheat because, I never thought I would come this far in life. I lived a kind of rough life in the past and God still blessed me and brought me to where I am today. I thank God for His mercies.
Here are some of my discoveries about men, women and marriage:
1. Men will always be men (they were built to desire women wether you accept it or not)
Not all men cheat, but the percentage might be few (and so much moral decadence now)
2. Women are smart and manipulative, so men have to tolerate more and pretend they don't see most things (so that life can be suitable)
3. Marriage is a 50:50 thing, if you have a good wife/husband, don't take her/him for granted, appreciate their effort and commitment (where there is commitment and effort).
4. I discovered that one actually needs principles to guide you through your life course, for example, the bible - God says don't do this and that (my brother/sister it's for your own good. If you doubt it, go ahead and knock yourself out and have a hard experience)
5. I am not the best of husbands but I always try to do my best (but I no go die before my time sha)
6. Some men can cheat and still love their wives very much (but I don't like deceit besides, cheating is a lot of hard work on its own - having to work hard to impress your side chick and work extra hard to keep it away from your wife, so that your days can be long on earth). I can't afford it anymore. I simply stay away from anything of such and I pre-occupy my mind with the goals I want to achieve in life.
7. Marriage is a fine blend of happiness and sadness (just savour both and keep moving).
8. Marriage is a big sacrifice (a lot is at stake, most importantly - the children)
9. If you have the privilege of dating before marriage, please do it well and enjoy it, cos the sparkle dey reduce inside the marriage but it doesn't reduce the love. Infact, love increases)
10. Husband and wife should work together to build things that will secure them and their family in the future.
11. Distrust, selfishness, lack of appreciation, too much smartness, too much strength, too much discipline, too much control can bring a marriage it its knees.
Just do the best you can and leave the rest to God.

Hmmmm... Very apt! How can I give this comment a thousand likes.. πŸ€”.

You can make this a a fresh post so everyone can read and learn. I never knew there are still responsible men like you

See Badoo was a good site when it was newly introduced before bad guys and babes flooded the site and turned it into something else.

Thank you so much for taking time out to read and also contribute this nice piece up there.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Tobest94: 8:07pm On Nov 18, 2023
There nothing like second hand value bachelor. A bachelor is a bachelor even if he married 10 times and divorce all
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by soccerlite: 8:45pm On Nov 18, 2023
Lolzzzzz

Funny story

You self you don't know what you want

Continue catching cruise joor
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by dnawah(m): 9:17pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.


na lie! All men are not the same.am not like that.like me ask u,is ur father like that? He is s man too.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by CarlosTheJackal: 10:24pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


Calculator dey calculate.

Oh... so iwas 33 then? If you see me that time ehn.. sugar, I be like 16 years old. I'm not joking. Maybe thats why I didn't notice the years (age) was flying. I wish I can get a picture his children snapped me with his phone in his compound then I for post am now now., even me I no believe myself. I looked so Young. True!
delusional grandeur
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by EquitableTech: 11:07pm On Nov 18, 2023
spiceadole:


You wanted to get married to a widower with 6 children? And even thought of not having a child yourself?

Some of you ladies are unbelievable!

na money and the fact that men increases in value with the experience and his pocket size
women will always flock towards a man who has financial capacity and his other qualities

A woman does not look at a man as a left over because of how many other women he has slept with...such increases the mans value before the woman.
On the other hand, no normal and sane man would want to marryy a woman with 6 children...she has been overused and lost her sexual market value.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by elmagnifico411(m): 11:15pm On Nov 18, 2023
Omoooooooo u tried oh! First of, the man has 6 kids and u still fell for him; u didn't just fall, u wanted to be his wife too. Ahhhh.. aye ooooo.. and to put the icing on the cake, u went with the kids to fetch water in the neighboring compound; you're a heroine oh! In all, na u I blame oh. How u take fall for man wey get 6 kids?? Wetin him tell u Him sabi use him JT well? So try u dey cook with your own money join. Abge make I come dey go.
Jewessgratitud3:


LoL... I don't care. Once my mind is made up on someone, that's it! No looking back.

Maybe he'll still be chasing after small girls and using the single mother to get gifts, me I can't say. Or better still have gotten married but I doubt that man will get married because his elder sister too na case. Always trying to control him cos he's the last born. If shes see any girl she'll be frowning and spoiling the childrens mind but me as a no nonsense person I boned her till na she come dey open teeth after she see the children getting close to me and that's because I followed them one night to fetch water in the next house to show wife material tongue, her mind come touch ground. grin.

Na Dem Sabi.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by nedekid: 11:57pm On Nov 18, 2023
In my opinion, he was trying to survive and you were just one of the means to.
My paddy spoke of his guyman friend those days in lekki. The time he made money he built a big marble house. Also had an suv. But no money, even to buy petrol.
That house was his "choppinson" . Those matured looking for husband ladies were his pray. This guy will, wakeup make one or two calls, one banker lady will stop at eatery and bring food. Some will bring foodstuff and cook, he will call them my wife. Fuel money for landcruiser suv nko. She will drop.
That was how that fellow was surviving.
Why go meet a widower with 6 young kids? Now be wahala you de find?

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Aaaaarghmed(m): 12:47am On Nov 19, 2023
No wonder OP is always on nairaland, boredom. grin.everytime,I broke up with him,I broke up with him. grin grin.you go turn to broken bottle one day

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Nobody: 1:32am On Nov 19, 2023
Op, what Bout your German bobo on Nairaland. You don't mention him anymore.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Weepnow: 2:53am On Nov 19, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


Calculator dey calculate.

Oh... so iwas 33 then? If you see me that time ehn.. sugar, I be like 16 years old. I'm not joking. Maybe thats why I didn't notice the years (age) was flying. I wish I can get a picture his children snapped me with his phone in his compound then I for post am now now., even me I no believe myself. I looked so Young. True!

Curious to sight you in that picture.
Patiently awaiting my copy in my inbox.

My email correspondence below zyulaa2ohdvxxij@tempmail.us.com
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 5:43am On Nov 19, 2023
elmagnifico411:
Omoooooooo u tried oh! First of, the man has 6 kids and u still fell for him; u didn't just fall, u wanted to be his wife too. Ahhhh.. aye ooooo.. and to put the icing on the cake, u went with the kids to fetch water in the neighboring compound; you're a heroine oh! In all, na u I blame oh. How u take fall for man wey get 6 kids?? Wetin him tell u Him sabi use him JT well? So try u dey cook with your own money join. Abge make I come dey go.

Till tomorrow I still don't feel awkward about it and don't know why everyone sees it as abnormal.

He looked so Young and was a very calm guy. He doesn't look like he has ever been married. He was in his early 40s then so he just looks like every normal single guy. It's when you now see him with his children you'll believe he has them.

Above all he knows how to pamper a woman and I just felt at peace with him apart from the gifts he was collecting from the other lady which I don't really blame him because the guy no get money and the children many ah!

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 5:51am On Nov 19, 2023
Weepnow:


Curious to sight you in that picture.
Patiently awaiting my copy in my inbox.

My email correspondence below zyulaa2ohdvxxij@tempmail.us.com

After how many years? You know how many phones and memory cards I've changed since then? The pics don follow bad memory card Waka.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Tshine456(m): 8:04am On Nov 19, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


You think I'm like those cheap baby mama of youts that open legs for you anyhow and end up condemned and overused? Sorry. I played my cards well that is why I still have my dignity and pride today.
I guess you are a virgin tho,there is an adage that says good character is the real beauty don't jump into conclusion make proper finding before you cut off with a man..no man is perfect I'm sure you are not perfect if you are playing oversabi men want a submissive woman not the way round..I pray you find ur mr right soon attitude matter a lot

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Ishilove: 8:06am On Nov 19, 2023
nedekid:
In my opinion, he was trying to survive and you were just one of the means to.
My paddy spoke of his guyman friend those days in lekki. The time he made money he built a big marble house. Also had an suv. But no money, even to buy petrol.
That house was his "choppinson" . Those matured looking for husband ladies were his pray. This guy will, wakeup make one or two calls, one banker lady will stop at eatery and bring food. Some will bring foodstuff and cook, he will call them my wife. Fuel money for landcruiser suv nko. She will drop.
That was how that fellow was surviving.
Why go meet a widower with 6 young kids? Now be wahala you de find?
Some men have no conscience. At all

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Porksupplyib: 9:25am On Nov 19, 2023
naijapikin2:
God does not live in SHILOH

He APPEARS IN SHILOH. πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

Wonderful. cheesy
And I guess you learnt that from the story of Eli and Samuel? grin
Wonderful! grin

Well, the truth is that with Christ, God is available to you even in your room.

I pray you receive the truth and knowledge of Christ Jesus, and cease running helter skelter for "miracles".
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by baddooski: 10:07am On Nov 19, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.


did he slept with u during those times you were with him?

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Justbehave(m): 12:19pm On Nov 19, 2023
baddooski:
did he slept with u during those times you were with him?
If you're expecting to her to say yes,then you are on a very long thing. Lol
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by YourGFsnatcher: 12:29pm On Nov 19, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.



Hope you enjoyed the sex
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by sexysailor23(m): 1:44pm On Nov 19, 2023
is that all, when is part 2 coming out
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.


is that all when is the part2 coming

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