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My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same - Family (3) - Nairaland

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A Widower Asking For My Hand In Marriage / Help A Widower With Children Fees / 41-year-old Indonesian Widower Weds 13-year-Old 3 Months After Meeting Online (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Justbehave(m): 11:49am On Nov 18, 2023
seborrhic:
So after about 2 years out of jail,he still left his prison card in his jacket,all the way from abroad
There are many kids in nairaland so this story is probably meant for them.
Nice observation.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Nobody: 11:50am On Nov 18, 2023
illicit:
Another thing u have attitudinal problem


You can never stay with any man even if it's Jesus

πŸ‘Œ
Why the post come dey pain you like this grin

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Zooposki(f): 11:51am On Nov 18, 2023
Na wa o. You want to marry a man with 6 baggages. I really don’t understand Nigerian women. I would have said it is illiteracy but you have access to the internet( a wealth of information). I will just conclude you like to aspire to be a martyr.

5 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Justbehave(m): 11:51am On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


You think I'm like those cheap baby mama of youts that open legs for you anyhow and end up condemned and overused? Sorry. I played my cards well that is why I still have my dignity and pride today.
No wahala keep your dignity and pride . Akwuna ga ebe akwa nwa n'ula nka.

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by illicit(m): 11:53am On Nov 18, 2023
Persephone1:
Why the post come dey pain you like this grin

I been wan shoot my shot but d way I see it

She no fit value any man, she is d problem here not all d men she met

πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‹
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Nobody: 11:54am On Nov 18, 2023
illicit:


I been wan shoot my shot but d way I see it

She no fit value any man, she is d problem here not all d men she met

πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‹
Ahhhhh I thought as much grin cheesy grin cheesy


Lol

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jamieb(m): 11:55am On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.



It is delusional to think a widower is a 2nd hand values man. Widows and baby mamas are and not widowers or Babadaddies

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 11:55am On Nov 18, 2023
Abolodje:
Only you cheat on your husband in your house which made your family give you silent treatment, still shameless you involved in a pathetic situationship with a widower.
You’re nothing but just a fake old cum bucket…off the road blud

I'm sorry I can't help your cognitive disabilities. I can only advice you get a smart reader to help you comprehend the post you're referring to @ wife cheats husband.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by OblorOblor: 11:55am On Nov 18, 2023
All men are scum
All men are cheats
All men are dog
We hear this all the time.
Yet you entered into a relationship with a widower for that matter with 6 children! What happened to your self esteem?

For your information, there's no second hand man.

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Sirtee19: 11:57am On Nov 18, 2023
Sorry for that nasty experience of yours. All I can say is that, there are still good and responsible men out there who will not cheat no matter what. Only that we are few on this space. It's because you have not prayerfully meet one. May God direct your path.

Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.


1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Zooposki(f): 11:57am On Nov 18, 2023
OblorOblor:
All men are scum
All men are cheats
All men are dog
We hear this all the time.
Yet you entered into a relationship with a widower for that matter with 6 children! What happened to your self esteem?

For your information, there's no second hand man.

I don’t think it is real life story cos no woman in her right mind will date a man with 6 baggages. I can’t even date a man with just one no matter how wealthy he is.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 11:59am On Nov 18, 2023
SavageResponse:
You have really been around the block grin

Every one has but na who talk him own out them go point fingers. As for me? I don't mind letting out what I deem fit as long as it's doesn't pose a threat to my success and achievements in life. Na my story I share, not any ones.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by garriAndsugar: 12:00pm On Nov 18, 2023
We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense).

At 33yrs you were seeing yourself as small girl?

4 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Zooposki(f): 12:01pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jamieb:


It is delusional to think a widower is a 2nd hand values man. Widows and baby mamas are and not widowers or Babadaddies

Dey play. No woman in her right mind will want to date a man with kids.

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by FlawlessKarl: 12:04pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


LoL @ Shiloh.. I will never attend Shiloh because of husband. Not worth it. What will be will be.

I'm no longer bothered at this stage whether it'll come or not. I just want to enjoy my life and serve God. grin

Auntie move on with your pain filled life. The man has nothing to lose, he has children already and still bleeping fresh pussy. You're the one that is paining hence you're sharing your pain filled story. The man really dismantle that wrinkles filled pussy of yours.

Sorry that you've hit menopause without a husband and a child no hope of getting married grin grin

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by sparko1(m): 12:06pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jeon:
Lolz. Waiting for them to come preach to you about the traits of " African tradition,their forefather's marriage lives, forefathers wives and their mothers ".

This has nothing to do with Africa men!

This is simply about money, when everything was fine, no problems, the moment, he started using train, molue, bus everything changed, that is one thing that is consistent with the female fork.

All she complained about, widower, six children, dark past, possibility of another woman were there from the beginning of the said relationship, but things got hard and those things became important.

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Porksupplyib: 12:07pm On Nov 18, 2023
naijapikin2:
Congratulations to me on reading your long epistle.
Anyway dear. Don't rush into relationship or marriage.

Some are looking for miracle marriage some are looking for miracle divorce.

Get this strait. LOVE STILL EXISTS. And it'll find you. Let your belief in love not fade because of someone who clearly doesn't deserve you. We don't stop buying cars simply because an accident happened. We don't stop drinking water simply because someone drowned. (Davido no dey drink water again?)

Pardon the analogy. Just believe that you will get a man who will treat you like the queen you are and it will happen.

Don't forget to attend Shiloh.. (just a suggestion o).. the truth is that God has your best interest.

Cheers.

Lol. And God lives in Shiloh. grin
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 12:07pm On Nov 18, 2023
Zooposki:
Na wa o. You want to marry a man with 6 baggages. I really don’t understand Nigerian women. I would have said it is illiteracy but you have access to the internet( a wealth of information). I will just conclude you like to aspire to be a martyr.

Wetin you love o
No be wetin I love o
Wetin I love I go do am with all my heart o

Asake got you on this one.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by tuzle(m): 12:07pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


LoL @ Shiloh.. I will never attend Shiloh because of husband. Not worth it. What will be will be.

I'm no longer bothered at this stage whether it'll come or not. I just want to enjoy my life and serve God. grin
ah since 2012?
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jeon(f): 12:09pm On Nov 18, 2023
I just got one.


sparko1:


This has nothing to do with Africa men!

This is simply about money, when everything was fine, no problems, the moment, he started using train, molue, bus everything changed, that is one thing that is consistent with the female fork.

All she complained about, widower, six children, dark past, possibility of another woman were there from the beginning of the said relationship, but things got hard and those things became important.


Waiting for more preachers who never see faults in themselves but the female forks.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Kajaard: 12:10pm On Nov 18, 2023
garriAndsugar:


At 33yrs you were seeing yourself as small girl?

She is 43 years old, not 33. Go through her birthday post as well as previous posts. That's a very old woman.

Those of us that have been on this forum for long know her very well. Her original moniker was Mercychen.

She tells a lot of lies. She is extremely lonely and seeks online validation as a source of succour. Pathetic.

4 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by newmoney133: 12:12pm On Nov 18, 2023
6 children and you no run immediately.you fell in love with responsibility.Anytime i see struggling couple with plenty children. I automatically conclude they are wicked.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Obiraphael48(m): 12:12pm On Nov 18, 2023
LoL @ Shiloh.. I will never attend Shiloh because of husband. Not worth it. What will be will be.

I'm no longer bothered at this stage whether it'll come or not. I just want to enjoy my life and serve God. ; Congratulations hantie on new whip in God
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 12:14pm On Nov 18, 2023
OblorOblor:
All men are scum
All men are cheats
All men are dog
We hear this all the time.
Yet you entered into a relationship with a widower for that matter with 6 children! What happened to your self esteem?

For your information, there's no second hand man.

Wait wait wait... Is he not a human being? What law says a widower is a low class citizen or doesn't deserve a chance at life and love? If not for his mistake, I for marry am with my full chest and we go rock like chassis couple. My happiness is what matters not what you or others set as standard for yourselves.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by FlawlessKarl: 12:14pm On Nov 18, 2023
shocked

This same account said that she cheated on the husband with and old friend and today fabricated another tales to deceived the gullible. Nairaland mods are dull.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Obiraphael48(m): 12:14pm On Nov 18, 2023
Lol grin
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Rejouir: 12:15pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.


Hmm

4 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 12:16pm On Nov 18, 2023
Sirtee19:
Sorry for that nasty experience of yours. All I can say is that, there are still good and responsible men out there who will not cheat no matter what. Only that we are few on this space. It's because you have not prayerfully meet one. May God direct your path.


Amen my brother jare.
God bless you.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by garriAndsugar: 12:18pm On Nov 18, 2023
Kajaard:


She is 43 years old, not 33. Go through her birthday post as well as previous posts. That's a very old woman.

Those of us that have been on this forum for long know her very well. Her original moniker was Mercychen.

She tells a lot of lies. She is extremely lonely and seeks online validation as a source of succour. Pathetic.
As at 2013 she was 32. The story is 10yrs old

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Dshocker(m): 12:18pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.



I keep using myself as an example.

Women is not my thing & cheating is not in my dictionary.

Not all men cheat.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Lordatkinson: 12:20pm On Nov 18, 2023
Your message is touching, no doubt.
I know that most of you ladies, when you love, you do so with all that God has given you.

But what I will not agree with is your assertion that all men cheat. That is absolutely not correct.
I am a man, I never cheated and I will not cheat for a second, so help me God.

Anyways, I wish you best and pray that God will bring your own part that will complete you in Jesus name.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 12:21pm On Nov 18, 2023
garriAndsugar:


At 33yrs you were seeing yourself as small girl?

Calculator dey calculate.

Oh... so iwas 33 then? If you see me that time ehn.. sugar, I be like 16 years old. I'm not joking. Maybe thats why I didn't notice the years (age) was flying. I wish I can get a picture his children snapped me with his phone in his compound then I for post am now now., even me I no believe myself. I looked so Young. True!

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